Chapter 35: chapter 31

I normally met with Ryder inside the Door around 8 A.M. With his ability to sense different energies, he never had any difficulty finding me no matter where I was on the floor.  

 

I liked to get here at least half an hour earlier so I could stretch and chat with Gomi for a while. Today, I chose to be here at 7 A.M. to get ready.

 

“Display.” 

 

[Leah Nowey]

Level 1

Power 51 [Offense: 21] [Defense: 31]

Skill: Moogi

 

Still Level 1. And after the initial huge bump from the first-floor test, my number has been growing slowly. Again, it was by the same amount as Gomi’s.

 

[Unknown]

Level 12

Power 31 [Offense: 24] [Defense: 7]

Skill: Weaponization

 

Even though the numerical values were rather meager, I felt much stronger. I was still only half a Rhombic, but the important thing was that the numbers were increasing. At this rate, I knew I would reach the normal 100. 

 

Well, at least at some point in the future. The question was going to be when.

 

-I can feel how anxious you are. Don’t be. It’ll all be okay.

 

Gomi, in her sword form, has been trying to soothe my nerves since the moment I walked in. Trying to calm down, I tracked and hunted down a few trolls already. The weight of the gems on my back helped a little like one of those weighted blankets that helped people sleep better.

 

But nothing could stop me from feeling afraid.  

 

-It’s okay to feel fear, Leah.

 

“I know. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s only the fifth-floor test. Everyone says it’s a piece of cake, right?” 

 

-It sure is. 

 

“I’m stronger now, and I have you too. So I’m going to breeze through this. Yes, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.” 

 

I was saying this more to myself than to Gomi. Although I had two figures, Ryder and Gomi, who reassured me that I would be fine, I didn’t feel fine. 

 

Ryder was nice enough when he wanted to be, but I knew better than to overestimate my worth to him. I meant nothing to him. He cared more about his career than my life, and I didn’t blame him for it. If I was in his shoes, I would feel exactly the same way. 

 

And Gomi… Well, I think she definitely cared for me but she got confused so often that I knew not to trust her claims completely. 

 

Last time, I was forced into the test chamber because of an unforeseen circumstance. But this time, I was going to walk into it willingly. Was this a good thing? I felt more prepared than before of course but at the same time, an ominous feeling bubbled up inside of me. 

 

If I passed this hurdle, will there ever come a day when I felt sure of myself? When I didn’t feel so scared? 

 

Well, I guess there was only one way to find out. I just needed to keep going forward. 

 

***

 

“Ready, Nowey?” Ryder asked. 

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We stood in front of the entrance that glowed in mysterious blue. It looked similar to the one I had to enter on the first floor. The trauma of that day still made me shudder, but I gave Ryder a firm nod. 

 

“Just focus on keeping the barrier thick, okay? I’ve asked around, and it’s not uncommon for the Door to recognize your role early on even before you reach the 10th floor. You know how the tests for the Leads and Supports differ on the higher floors, right?”

 

I gave him another nod. After the 10th floor, the tests for the Leads always involved a goal of killing while those for the Supports required defending or healing to pass. 

 

“It’s very possible that this test might require you only to defend. This information can tell you, so pay attention.” 

 

“I got it. I’m ready,” I replied, starting to feel a little more nervous because I was beginning to sense that Ryder was getting anxious for me. 

 

“Don’t go out trying to kill whatever monster it throws at you. Find out first what the test objective is. If you’re supposed to defend yourself, killing it is going to be useless. I can absolutely see you doing that, and I’m telling you not to. The test will just rewind and get you to do it again until you satisfied its goal.” 

 

Ryder was beginning to sound very skeptical about this whole thing now. Half frowning and half glaring because he was now making me doubt myself, I asked, “Why do you sound so unsure? Do you think I shouldn’t take this test today?” 

 

-Don’t listen to that boy, Leah. He’s a moron!

 

Gomi just threw random remarks at me, and I ignored her. Only yesterday, Ryder was practically pushing me into the test chamber. But today, he wouldn’t shut up with these common sense tips. 

 

We have been standing here for a while. Ryder kept me from entering for about half an hour now. Was this because he thought this was a bad idea?

 

“No, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Unless… you don’t feel ready. Then we can do some more training and try it another day. It’s up to you, Nowey. Do… you feel like doing it?” 

 

“Why are you asking me that now? What the hell, Ryder!” I became a little angry at the change in his tone. 

 

I had to go through a lot to get my mental state in order for this test. I even put my freaking will in that safe box for my sister! 

 

He seemed just as confused as I was. Raising his hands defensively, I noticed that he raised his voice a little too as he replied, “I’m just saying that maybe I was being hasty yesterday. If you want to wait, I can give you more lessons.” 

 

He was now acting like a bride having cold feet on her wedding day. I thought for a moment, my indecisiveness growing because of this stupid boy. 

 

“...” I looked around, thinking about the weeks I spent on this floor. I fought, I defended, and I learned. 

 

I knew that there was never going to be a time when I felt certain about this. I could spend another month, maybe even another year, and I would feel as nervous as I am right now. 

 

In the best-case scenario, I would pass the test and go onto the fifth floor.

 

Worst case scenario, I would die.

 

I turned to him. “Did you feel scared when you were on the lower floors?” 

 

“Always, Leah. Fear keeps you alive, so don’t lose it.” 

 

Ryder gave me a small smile as if I had reminded him of something from his past. I saw many emotions on his face, and one of them was… regret. Someday, if I survived this test, I would have to ask him about his time in the Door. 

 

No one could tell me what to do. I needed to make this decision on my own. I closed my eyes, feeling out my mana that had grown so much recently. The pleasant electrical sensation on my fingertips was an answer enough.

 

“I’ll see you on the fifth floor, Ryder.”

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