Chapter 51: Chapter 49 [Arc 1 ends]

He swallowed. He breathed.

Suzuka glanced around between the two, seemingly at a loss for what to do.

Carefully studying his expression, Akane seemed to shrivel in place for a moment. She did not plead, or argue this time.

“If you don’t feel comfortable with me around, I could leave if you want.” she smiled, simply. “I’ve gotten to see you at least one more time. Just that made me happy. Even on your own, I’m sure you can manage, big bro. I just thought… I mean… I guessed…”

The boy gave the blue-haired girl a hard look. He’d made his decision.

This time, his hesitation had not lasted for more than a single instant.

“Come with us.”

The blue-haired girl stood in place, eyes silently locked onto his own. Glossing over any doubts he could have had left, he’d decided to accept her. He went on.

“I don’t remember you. I don’t really feel I know you… But you should come with us. Help me remember.”

In another timeline… In another world… Perhaps it would have been wisest to just ignore her words and throw her away…

As far as he was concerned, that would not be this one.

But of course he couldn’t throw her away. Heck, now that she’d defected from Pizza’s faction, anyway, did she even have anywhere else to go back to?

Her eyes suddenly lit up, and she started to jump around again, tugging back and forth at his shirt again.

“Good call, big bro!! You won’t regret it!!”

“...I hope so.”

“Even if it takes a while. I promise I’ll make you remember me! You can be sure of that!”

“I’ll… be looking forward to that. I suppose.”

A tiny window popped up in front of him, right as he spoke. The shorter girl had been tampering around with her own menu, it seemed, prompting it to appear.

‘A.K.A.N.E. wishes to form a party.’

‘Accept.’

‘Decline.’

“So?” she grinned. “We can’t stay here all day, big bro!”

“Right, right.” he nodded, closing the request with the expected choice.

More obvious than anything else, he could naturally tell that girl was useful. Even with the appearance she’d had, she had at least been crafty enough to integrate into Pizza’s gang for a short while, and use them to some degree to get to him. She was willing to put his soul before her own, and, most of all, she had a formidable skill which allowed her to boost another player’s power. He didn’t think Suzuka herself had noticed it, since she got taken down so early in the race, but… Akane’s ability was precisely what had allowed him to get so much done inside his own time bubble in such a short amount of time, even allowing him enough room to break the tower’s glass with that weird mace-like weapon he’d cooked up and tip the game in his favor.

And while he realized for a moment how cold it would be to put such weight on this specific portion of her attributes, compared to all else, at this point, he couldn’t really force himself to care too much about it past a single, meandering thought. He wanted to survive. Having able-bodied allies willing to protect him was nothing if not a plus, after all.

This was his priority, at the end of the day. If he could help it, he would rather not lie to himself, even if at times it was unavoidable.

But even so… Even if he couldn’t have considered all of these qualities to be accurate to who that girl was…

He wouldn’t just slap away someone like that, one way or another. Useful or not, he wanted to believe in her, if nothing else, at least for loyalty alone.

Even if he couldn’t completely accept the full brunt of what she entailed, the memories she brought back to him, the pain from his own past, that didn’t mean he had to shove aside the person, Akane Fujiwara, for all she was.

His one and only little sister of sorts. The only one he’d ever had The closest thing to a relative he could now hope to have… Without a shadow of a doubt, the only little sister he would ever have.

And inevitably, he could not completely reject his own past. It had never let go of him, after all. It would be a part of Haruto Maekawa wherever he went, whatever name he decided to go by, and whether he realized it or not.

No matter how much he fought against it. No matter how much it hurt, in the end… He couldn’t let go. He could let none of it escape his grasp, even knowing it might just eat away at his own fingers.

With a faint, guilty smile plastered over his own face, he opened up his vehicle inventory as Akane cheerfully shouted something or other by his side, eventually annoying Suzuka to the point she started complaining about it as well, and brought back his battered car, closing it up.

“Hey, master! She’s starting to get way too insufferable. Can’t you do something about this?”

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“No way~! Big bro likes to hear me talk, anyway! Right~?” she went on, with her arms inconsiderately wrapped around his torso as though he were some cheap stuffed toy.

“Honestly, the Midnight Gale isn’t exactly up to shape right now.” he said, paying little mind to the bickering from both sides. “Before we go, I’d like to get it fixed. Suggestions?”

“... Yeah.” Suzuka sighed, shoulders drooping. “I know a good place. Assuming we’re not interrupted again. But we have to be quick and leave right after, if we can. Also, we probably won’t manage to afford as many upgrades, since the repair price will probably burn most of our credits off, anyway.”

“That’s fine.” he shrugged. “What matters is we have enough to get back on the road, right? Uh… Your bike, though…”

“It didn’t make it, right? It’s fine. You still have one spare, don’t you?”

“True. But it’s the last one. I should probably get another one once we have enough leeway…”

“I can help, too!” smiled the blue-haired girl, moving right by his side. She immediately backtracked in enthusiasm, though, the moment she gave her inventory a hard look. “W-Well, this looks like a mess, though… There’s a lot of stuff I don’t recognize in here… I don’t have a vehicle either…”

“Or, really…?” mumbled the boy, sudden his disappointment.

“W-Well, I have a bit of money here, too, but it’s not much more than you have…” she stammered, sheepishly.

(We really need to take on some damn quests, already...)

He grunted to himself in annoyance. It was no more than a single, dwindling, grunt, however. The way he was now, it wasn’t like he could really get mad, anymore. He’d been able to vent off most of his pent-up frustration at that other weakling up there, anyway.

“H-Hey, focus on what’s important!” Suzuka grumbled. “Without a car, the three of us can’t get anywhere, to begin with! Let’s just go, already. It’s bad enough we don’t have a properly working vehicle to move the three of us around.”

She went on rambling, turning away from the crackling glass tower and towards that street’s wide exit, stomping in place as she occasionally turned back to glare at the two alleged ‘siblings’, wondering whether they were going to start following her or not.

“Now, that’s talking!” grinned Haruto, amused with the outburst. “I wonder if you could find us someplace to fix my gauntlet, too!”

“Don’t make fun of me, I know way more about this place than you do!”

“I know, I know.” he chuckled. “And you’re always so subtle about it, too!”

“You’re the one who’s always asking me, dummy!”

“Take it as a compliment, for once!”

Thus, he stepped further forward, next to the other two girls, on foot once more through the festive streets of Pagat City, abandoning the partly crumbled glass tower without sparing it a glance more. It had taken a while, but it seemed his life in that world was finally starting to get on track. He might get annoyed sometimes… Things might not always go his way. But thus far, he’d been able to gather fine allies to his side. He’d been able to survive, something which fifty percent of grasshoppers did not. He believed that should, at least, count for something.

Despite all reservations… Despite his regrets from his previous life… He felt at least, he was starting to find himself again. He felt a purpose of some sort was starting to take form at the bottom of his heart, though he couldn’t perfectly make it out into words just yet. It scared him somewhat. But it did, likewise, drive him to keep moving forward.

Even if he was stuck in what was essentially the ‘loser afterlife’, that didn’t mean he couldn’t rise above the losers themselves, if nothing else. Suzuka herself had told him it was far from impossible.

Despite being long dead, he now felt he had, more than ever before, a reason to live. A reason to strive for more.

And, despite the hauntings of his old life, he felt he had now a good reason to face it, bit by bit.

Memories could fade from view, but at the end of the day, they were never, ever, truly gone.

He knew he would have them back, eventually. All of them. He would have to face his fears. Perhaps not now, but one day, undoubtedly.

No matter where he wound up, or what he did, nothing would ever change who he had been in the past. But that was fine. Even with that knowledge, it would be up to him to decide what he should do in this new world from now on.

Akane had been right to seek him out. Not for her sake, he thought, but for his own. Whether she realized it or not, he knew he, at least, did.

He would accept those feelings. One word a day, if he had to. He would accept his true identity. One memory at a time. He had made his decision, at last.

No matter how many hurdles he had left to face…

No matter how incomplete he still was, at his core…

He wouldn’t stop.

With that matter settled at the back of his mind, for the first time since the day he’d died, the boy who had been disposed of in the most absurd manner felt truly at peace with himself.

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