Ch34 - He is the person I love

It’s snowing outside.

QiQi waited by the car for a long time, and because he couldn’t wait all the time, he picked up the Frisbee next to him and ran into the garden to play. 

The world of animals is very simple. QiQi did not understand the separation of life and death of human beings.

Even though Xu ChengYan had been away for almost a year, QiQi would still come to the car to look for Xu ChengYan every time.

 

 

Although the maid and the Steward had explained it to QiQi many times, QiQi still couldn’t understand it.

It only knew that Xu ChengYan didn’t come this time, then he would definitely come back next time. 

One day, he would come back.

 

QiQi was still simple-minded, rolling around in the yard. Even if he didn’t wait for Xu ChengYan, he wouldn’t feel sad.

In the villa, He Yang stood by the window and looked at the big dog in the yard.

He Yang habitually took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it.

 

The cigarette butt fell at his feet, and He Yang didn’t care, he just looked in the direction of the car.

Maybe he was influenced a little by QiQi, and like QiQi, he always looked at the car unconsciously.

It always felt like in the next second, the door would be pushed open from the inside.

 

He Yang stared in the direction of the car door, in a trance, it seemed he really saw the car door being opened —— 

The young man walked out of the car with a smile. He looked up, and smiled at him.

But when He Yang took a closer look, the car was still the same as before, it was empty inside.

It’s all just his fantasy.

He Yang lowered his eyes, hiding the emotions in his eyes. 

It’s just that there were more and more cigarette butts on the ground, all over the place.

The room was deserted and very quiet.

He Yang smoked by the window alone until the arrival of the Steward broke the peace.

The Steward knocked on the door outside the room and said, “Young Master He, V brand has brought this month’s new styles.” 

V brand was the men’s clothing brand under the Ruan family. In the past, it was managed by Mrs. He. After Mrs. He’s dead, the V brand was taken over by the Ruan family again.

The Ruan family and the He family did not interfere with each other’s business, but the Ruan family would still send a set of the limited new styles of V brand to the He family every time.

 

The Steward asked, “Shall I still put those in the room?”

He Yang glanced back and replied, “Yeah.” 

So the Steward arranged for the maid to bring this month’s new men’s clothes and put those in the cloakroom of the bedroom.

From shirts to coats, scarves and others……. Ruan family sent a complete set over.

And these new products were still the same as before, all were Xu ChengYan’s size.

The Steward packed up the new clothes, and saw the man was still standing by the window, so he walked over. 

The Steward: “Young Master He.”

He Yang looked over and asked, “Is today April Fool’s Day?”

The Steward replied skillfully, “There are still three months until April Fool’s Day.”

He Yang’s face was calm, and he continued to look at the snowy landscape outside. 

Outside the window, the thick layer of snow in the yard melted day by day. The temperature also gradually warmed up, and the bare branches in the garden slowly grew green.

Every day, He Yang would stand by the window, holding a wooden tag in his hand, and stay alone for a long time.

The writing on the wooden tag had already faded to gray. The pendant rope on the wooden tag was also a little old, and the color was not as bright as before.

But He Yang still kept this wooden tag, never leaving his body, watching the scenery outside the window change day by day. 

Until one morning in the spring, the Steward came.

“Young Master He.” The Steward reminded aloud, “Today is April Fool’s Day.

Mr. Xu’s death anniversary day had arrived.

The Steward looked at the man’s back and asked, “Young Master He, are you going to see him?” 

The Steward didn’t mention Xu ChengYan’s name, he just called him “he”.

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It seems that it rains every year in early April.

The cemetery was still deserted, and there were only two or three people left. 

He Yang was still in the car, sitting from morning to afternoon, habitually touching the wooden tag in his hand, over and over again.

【May XianSheng be safe year after year.】

He Yang looked at the handwriting on the wooden tag, and was a little lost.

It may be that this prayer really played a role. In this year, he had not been sick. 

It was only occasionally that he had insomnia, and also seemed to have some auditory hallucinations.

He could always hear the vibration of the phone, and Xu ChengYan’s voice calling “XianSheng”.

He Yang put the wooden tag back in his pocket, and when he raised his head, he suddenly saw Jiang Lin outside the cemetery.

Jiang Lin was alone. He held an umbrella and a bunch of flowers in his arms as he walked by. 

Jiang Lin looked over and recognized at a glance that the car beside him was He Yang’s car.

However, Jiang Lin didn’t intend to come over to reminisce. So, he just looked away indifferently and entered the cemetery alone.

Jiang Lin came to the tombstone, leaned over slowly, and put the bouquet aside.

Jiang Lin looked at the black-and-white photo above. He had a lot to say, but in the end he didn’t say anything, just turned around and left with an umbrella. 

***

After leaving the cemetery, Jiang Lin came to the psychological clinic.

 

The doctor sat opposite Jiang Lin and asked with a smile, “How are you doing recently?”

“Very good.” Jiang Lin’s tone was very relaxed. 

The doctor said, “I saw your post last month. Did you go on a trip again?”

Jiang Lin responded with a sound and replied, “I went to Finland last month and saw the aurora.”

He went to Kakslauttanen, Finland. Lying in the igloo, he saw a feast of stars in the starry sky.

He’s also gone to Sweden, to Norway…… 

He’s been to a lot of places since graduating last summer.

“I also collected a lot of stamps.” Jiang Lin said slowly, “I bought a lot, and the suitcase couldn’t fit.”

“Did you go alone?” The doctor asked.

“Well, I met a lot of friends on the road.” Thinking of the interesting things that happened on the road, Jiang Lin couldn’t help smiling, “I met a fellow, who, like me, is not used to foreign food. So, he has to go to the kitchen to cook it himself every time and he will leave a portion for me.” 

“I also met a piano teacher, who said that he was looking for inspiration for his creation, and he had to run outside to blow the cold wind in the night.”

Jiang Lin was smiling at first, but as he said, Jiang Lin suddenly fell silent.

The doctor noticed Jiang Lin’s mood and called in a low voice, “Mr. Jiang?”

Jiang Lin suddenly said, “I just went to the cemetery to see him.” 

“I miss him so much.” Jiang Lin lowered his head.

Doctor: “He will live well in another world.”

“I know.” Jiang Lin nodded, “He will live well……..”

Sister-in-law just went to another world. 

He also believed that his sister-in-law would do well in a place he couldn’t see.

Although he would still be sad now, and he would still be heartbroken.

 

But he’s used to these negative emotions, and that’s okay.

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It’s been a year since his sister-in-law left, and he’s used to it. Now he could talk about it with others calmly —— 

At least he wouldn’t break down and cry when he recalled it like before.

Jiang Lin raised his head and said slowly, “A few months ago, I went to Anshi.”

He went to the town and met the driver’s family.

The driver’s wife ran a small fruit shop, and the driver’s daughter was already in high school. 

He didn’t know how to deal with the family, so he found a reason to order a large amount of goods from the fruit shop and almost emptied the fruit shop.

He still remembered that when the order was placed, the driver’s wife kept smiling, and the driver’s daughter also sneaked over and gave him a souvenir from an ancient town.

He also saw a family photo of the driver’s family on the cashier counter in the store, the family of three was laughing happily.

“That family is really good……” 

But such a family had lost a person forever.

And all of this was caused by him.

If he had opened his mouth and persuaded Sister-in-law to stay that morning, none of the latter would have happened.

Jiang Lin closed his eyes, calmed down for a while, and took a deep breath before continuing: “Sometimes, I still dream of that car accident.” 

He dreamed that his sister-in-law died in front of him, blood dripping all over the ground.

And he could only take Sister-in-law’s body out of the van, holding the cold body, and there was nothing he could do.

“I really want to hug him again……” Jiang Lin whispered.

He still remembered the staff telling him that when the accident happened, the people in the car hadn’t died on the spot. 

The deceased died because he was trapped in the car and it was dragged on for a long time until the fuel tanker exploded abruptly.

Jiang Lin couldn’t help but think when Sister-in-law left, it would hurt a lot, right?

 

Dying slowly in pain like this must be very painful……

Jiang Lin’s eyes were red, but he still controlled his emotions and didn’t lose his temper. 

If his sister-in-law was still alive, he wanted to hug him again.

He just wants a warm hug.

***

When Jiang Lin left the psychological clinic, it was already evening. 

The doctor tidied up the table, took off his white coat, and was ready to get off work and go home.

Just when the doctor closed the door and turned around, he saw He Yang coming.

The doctor said helplessly: “Mr. He, I have to get off work.”

He Yang: “Work overtime.” 

The doctor had no choice but to say, “Then my consultation fee will be doubled.”

The doctor reopened the door and let He Yang in.

He Yang came to the psychological consultation room and sat on a chair.

The doctor put on a white coat and came over. 

He Yang looked at the person across from him, and rarely took the initiative to say, “Today is April Fool’s Day.”

The doctor nodded and asked earnestly, “Does Mr. He have anything to say?”

“No.” He Yang said lightly.

The doctor was a little helpless, so he had to say, “Mr. He, you always ask me if it’s April Fool’s Day when you come here.” 

Doctor: “Finally, it’s April Fool’s Day today and you’re still not willing to talk?”

However, He Yang still did not respond.

 

“Mr. He, it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to say it.” The doctor sighed. “The consultation fee is settled by the hour. Don’t forget that, Mr. He.”

After speaking, the doctor lowered his head and started sorting out the psychological consultation records. 

And He Yang was opposite the table, holding the wooden tag in his hand and rubbing it.

The room fell into silence, very quiet.

The doctor had also become accustomed to the way the two of them get along with each other. After all, He Yang was like this every time he came over. He rarely speaks, and just sits here all the time.

The doctor continued to organize the records, and suddenly heard a slight click. 

The doctor couldn’t help but look up, and saw that He Yang had a small black jewelry box in his hand, and the lid had been opened.

The box was very delicate. The doctor couldn’t see what was inside. It was estimated that the contents inside should not be very large. It may be accessories such as earrings or brooches and cufflinks.

And He Yang stretched out his hand and took out the things in the box ——

A pair of diamond rings. 

He Yang looked at the pair of diamond rings and held them in his palm.

“Mr. He.” The doctor couldn’t help asking aloud, “Is this a gift?”

He Yang responded with a sound.

Doctor: “Who is it for?” 

He Yang said slowly: “A friend.”

The doctor asked, “Is it for him?”

The doctor did not make it clear who “he” was, but He Yang was able to understand.

“Yeah.” He Yang leaned on the back of the chair and held the smaller one of the diamond rings. 

“Mr. He, is he just a friend?” The doctor had a faint smile. “Friends don’t give diamond rings to each other.”

He Yang still didn’t respond, he still looked down at the diamond ring.

 

The doctor said slowly: “Jiang Lin and he are also friends. Jiang Lin didn’t give him a diamond ring.”

He Yang: “Not a friend.” 

The doctor raised his eyebrows and asked, “Then, is he a boyfriend?”

He Yang fell silent and after a while, he answered: “No.”

They were neither friends nor lovers.

From the beginning to the end, they never confirmed their relationship. 

The doctor asked tentatively, “Then who is he?”

The room fell into silence and no one responded.

The doctor looked at the man in front of him with a headache and sighed, “Mr. He, I said it before, please don’t suppress your emotions.”

It had been a year since that person died. 

The situation on Jiang Lin’s side was much better. Jiang Lin had slowly come out of the pain and started a new life.

But the condition of the man in front of him was very bad. Everything was still the same as the beginning ——

He always talks less, his face was so cold, and the doctor couldn’t see his emotions at all.

No matter how he guided, He Yang always refused to let go, and only responded occasionally. 

Seeing that He Yang had not spoken, the doctor deliberately provoked: “Mr. He, he is already dead.”

“It is too late to give the ring now. The dead can’t wear the ring.” The doctor tore open the wound cruelly.

He Yang held the diamond ring and said slowly, “He is not dead.”

‘Xu ChengYan is not dead.’ 

Every night, he could hear Xu ChengYan’s voice.

Whether it’s the apartment, the main house, or the company…….

 

Or even his car, there were all traces left by Xu ChengYan, who bought a bunch of things and left them in his car.

It was as if Xu ChengYan had never left. 

“He’s not dead.” He Yang repeated it again.

“Mr. He, it’s been a year since he passed away.” The doctor’s tone was a bit cold, “A person can’t be resurrected from the dead.”

“This ring is already a year late, even if you have bought it now, it’s useless.” The doctor looked at the diamond rings; he frowned and said, “If you want to give it to him, you should give it to him earlier.”

He Yang looked down at the diamond ring in his hand as if he hadn’t heard it, and rubbed his finger against the inside of the ring. 

After a long time, He Yang raised his head and finally said, “He’s a very important person.”

He’s a very important person.

Also, he was the person he liked.

But it was too late. 

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