Ch33 - What’s the use of the belated affection?

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Thirty days after Xu ChengYan’s death, He Yang finally went to the cemetery.

The car was parked outside the cemetery. He Yang looked out the window and did not get out of the car.

 

 

The cemetery was deserted, full of cold tombstones.

Xu ChengYan’s ashes were inside, buried in the ground. 

He Yang habitually touched the wooden tag in his pocket and asked slowly, “Is it April Fool’s Day today?”

 

Uncle Zhou was sitting in the front row. Although he didn’t know why Young Master He asked this suddenly, he still replied: “No, April Fool’s Day has passed for a month.”

There was silence in the car, and after a while, He Yang said, “Go back first.”

Uncle Zhou was a little surprised and asked, “Young Master He, won’t you go down and have a look?”

 

Uncle Zhou already knew about Mr. Xu’s death, and Mr. Xu’s tombstone was here.

“No.” He Yang closed his eyes and leaned on the pillow, “Go to the bar.”

Uncle Zhou had to drive He Yang to the bar.

 

When He Yang came to the box in the bar, it was very lively inside. 

The lighting in the box was a little dim. There were young men and women flirting with each other in the corner, and the gaming table was crowded with people.

“Young Master He!”

“Young Master He is here too!”

“Everyone is here! It’s just right!” 

Shen XiuZhu was also in the box, sitting on the sofa.

The person sitting next to Shen XiuZhu consciously gave up his seat and let He Yang sit over.

He Yang went over and sat in that vacant seat.

Someone at the gaming table shouted, “Young Master He, would you come to play?” 

“I’m not playing.” He Yang squinted his eyes casually.

Someone next to him opened a new bottle of red wine, poured a glass and handed it to He Yang.

 

He Yang held the wine glass and quietly listened to the lively sounds around him.

There was still some noise in the box, but He Yang could always hear the vibrating sound of the phone, as if a call was coming in. 

But when He Yang took out his phone, the home screen was clean and there were no missed calls. It seemed that everything was just his hallucinations.

He Yang simply put the phone on the table and ignored it.

The liveliness in the box continued until twelve o’clock in the middle of the night.

Chi Yi got off the game table and said to He Yang, “Young Master He, do you have any plans tonight? Why don’t you stay overnight?” 

He Yang didn’t answer. He just lowered his head slightly, staring at the wine glass in his hand, as if he didn’t hear anything.

At this moment, someone came to He Yang and placed his hand on the man’s shoulder and patted it lightly.

He Yang looked up, and in the dim light, he vaguely saw a figure in front of him.

That figure was somewhat familiar, wearing a gray coat and thin-rimmed glasses. 

He Yang: “Yanyan?”

That person was stunned. He frowned slightly, and called: “He Yang.”

He Yang heard the voice, and then he saw that the person in front of him was Shen XiuZhu.

He Yang closed his eyes and rubbed his brows, and because he was drunk, his mind was still a little confused. 

Chi Yi came over and asked, “Is Young Master He going back tonight, or staying here for the night?”

“Go back.” He Yang took the phone and glanced at the time, and habitually said, “Is Yanyan here? Let him pick me up.”

As soon as these words came out, there was a moment of silence around them.

After several seconds, a man said, “Young Master He, Yanyan is dead.” 

But He Yang continued to ask as if he didn’t hear it. “Why hasn’t Yanyan come yet?

In the box, no one spoke for a while.

 

And He Yang closed his eyes and leaned on the sofa, as if he fell asleep again.

*** 

In the end, someone called Jiang Lin and asked Jiang Lin to come over.

Jiang Lin had to get up from the bed in the middle of the night and pick up He Yang at the bar.

Jiang Lin smelled the smell of alcohol on He Yang’s body, and with a cold face, he helped He Yang to the passenger seat.

Jiang Lin went around to the other side and sat in the driver’s seat, bowed his head and fastened his seat belt, and said coldly, “He Yang, I’m not your driver.” 

“Don’t call me over when you’re drunk, and also, please don’t call Sister-in-law.” Jiang Lin leaned over to help He Yang fasten his seatbelt again, frowning and he said, “He has to serve as a nanny to cook for you during the day, and at night, he still has to act as a driver to pick up people at the bar. What the hell do you think he is?”

The man leaning on the car window, opened his eyes slowly and said unhurriedly, “Don’t mention him.”

“What?” Jiang Lin sneered, “Only you are allowed to mention his name when you are drunk, and no one else is allowed to mention it? Then I must mention it more.”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

He Yang didn’t say anything, just looked at the passers-by outside the window. 

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In an instant, that young man and the figure in his memory gradually overlapped.

It was just that when the young man raised his head, the facial features on his face were very unfamiliar; he was just an ordinary passerby. 

He Yang retracted his gaze and closed his eyes to rest.

Jiang Lin drove He Yang back to the apartment, “Here it is.”

He Yang opened his eyes and suddenly asked, “Is it April Fool’s Day today?”

“No.” Jiang Lin said with a cold face.” It’s been a month since he died. What’s the use of you just remembering him now?” 

He Yang didn’t say anything. He just got out of the car and went back to the apartment alone.

After turning on the light, He Yang came to the balcony and sat on the recliner among the potted plants as before, holding a wooden tag in his hand.

 

The handwriting on the wooden tag had faded slightly. It seemed that the color of the handwriting was not as dark as before because it had been touched too many times.

The furnishings in the apartment were exactly the same as before, and they still retained the traces of another person that had lived. 

But Xu ChengYan was already dead.

He died so cleanly that he didn’t even leave a photo after five years, only a box of ashes remained.

But sometimes, He Yang felt that Xu ChengYan was not dead at all ——

There were traces of Xu ChengYan everywhere around him. 

Everywhere.

***

With one person missing, life still goes on as usual.

He Yang was still the same as before, going to the company during the day, and occasionally going to the bar at night to gather with Chi Yi and the others, as if nothing happened. 

On Chi Yi’s birthday, he booked a private club.

He Yang also went to the party and sat in the middle of the sofa, surrounded by the crowd.

It was clear that Chi Yi was the host of the party, but the center of the party was still He Yang.

Chi Yi didn’t mind, and filled the wine for He Yang. 

At the wine table, a group of rich second-generation chatted randomly, from the recently kept little model to the little star who took the initiative to climb the bed in the entertainment circle.

He Yang did not participate in the topic. He squinted and leaned on the sofa pillow, and listened to the discussion casually. It was none of his business.

Until the private room door opened, and someone came in from outside.

He Yang casually glanced at it and was stunned for a while. 

At the door of the private room, the black-haired young man walked in cautiously, a little restrained.

The young man had a pair of peach blossom eyes, a small tear mole under his right eye, and wore a clean white shirt and black pants.

 

The light in the room was rather dim. At first glance, the young man and Xu ChengYan were five or six points similar, but the young man’s facial features were more delicate and his age was slightly younger.

Others on the sofa also noticed the young man and looked at He Yang subconsciously. 

And Chi Yi said with a smile: “Young Master He, do you think his face looks like Yanyan?”

He Yang didn’t say anything. He just stared at the young man. For some reason, the hand holding the wine glass increased its force.

The young man didn’t seem to be used to being watched by so many people, so he lowered his head nervously, but he still walked towards the sofa step by step.

Chi Yi shook the wine glass and said proudly, “It took me a long time to find this boy!” 

The young man also came to He Yang, kneeling on the carpet obediently, his head lowered.

Chi Yi urged: “Raise your head and let Young Master He have a look!”

The young man raised his head, looked at the man in front of him, and said cautiously, “He…… Mr. He…….”

The young man’s voice was very soft, similar to Xu ChengYan’s tone. 

He Yang did not move and continued to look at the person in front of him.

Chi Yi half-laid on the sofa lazily and said, “He can also play the piano a little bit. He really looks like Yanyan. At that time, I took a fancy to him at first sight!”

The young man kneeling on the ground also slowly stretched out his hand, his fingertips rested on the man’s belt.

It’s just that the young man’s wrist was tightly grasped before he could untie the belt. 

“Don’t touch me.” The man’s tone was cold, and he quickly let go.

The young man was stunned, but he retracted his hand and continued to kneel at the man’s feet.

He Yang took a few tissues from the table and slowly wiped the place where the young man touched.

When Chi Yi saw it, he just thought it was because of He Yang’s obsession with cleanliness. So, he quickly said, “That place is still clean. No one has touched him in the back. Young Master He, just plays as you please.” 

Chi Yi took a sip of wine, and seemed to be a little drunk again and a little more courageous.

“Speaking of which, it’s still Yanyan’s face that is charming.” Chi Yi shook his wine glass and said with a half-smile, “I just don’t know what Yanyan looks like on the bed. It must be such an ecstasy.”

 

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“If Yanyan wasn’t dead yet, when Young Master He gets tired of playing, I also want to try ——”

But before Chi Yi finished speaking, he suddenly saw a dark figure rushing towards him. 

Immediately afterwards, he felt his body being pressed heavily on the table. His head hit a hard object, and there was a buzzing sound in his mind.

The movement of the two was a bit loud, and even the glass on the table fell to the ground.

He Yang pressed Chi Yi on the table from behind, picked up the glass fragments on the ground with one hand, and held it tightly in his palm.

He Yang’s hand was very strong, the edge of the sharp glass shards cut the palm of his hand, and blood flowed down the palm of his hand. 

But He Yang held the glass shards as if he didn’t feel anything and stabbed Chi Yi heavily.

It happened so fast. The people around woke up by the sudden scream and rushed over to stop He Yang’s movements.

“Young Master He!”

“Calm down!” 

“Let’s talk if you have something to say!”

***

There was chaos in the private room, and the red blood flowed on the ground.

It was already early morning when Jiang Lin heard the news and he rushed to the private hospital. 

Chi Yi was sent to the emergency room, and He Yang was also injured on his hand.

When Jiang Lin found He Yang, the doctor was cleaning He Yang’s wound.

Next to He Yang stood a middle-aged couple, who respectfully said to He Yang, “Young Master He, we didn’t discipline Chi Yi well, I’m really sorry…….”

“Chi Yi was spoiled by us. Well, this time it’s his fault……” 

He Yang didn’t speak, just watched the movements of the doctor’s hands.

“Young Master He, don’t be angry…….”

 

“After we go back, we will definitely teach this child a good lesson!”

The middle-aged couple kept their attitude low. 

After a long time, He Yang said, “He can’t speak with that mouth.”

“Yes, yes, yes. We promise not to let him speak in the future! We will never let him taint your eyes!”

The middle-aged couple was apologizing the whole time.

Jiang Lin stood in the corridor and didn’t enter until the middle-aged couple came out. 

The doctor was still carefully applying medicine to the wound on He Yang’s right hand. Jiang Lin moved a chair and sat beside him, waiting quietly.

He Yang’s palm was full of small wounds cut by glass shards, and it looked a little terrifying.

After the doctor applied the medicine and bandaged the wound, he got up and left.

He Yang was still sitting on the chair, and he didn’t care about his right hand. He took out his mobile phone and glanced at it, and then turned to the call log. 

Jiang Lin was beside him and said, “I heard them say that you and Chi Yi got into fight because of Sister-in-law.”

He Yang responded with a sound.

“Anyway, it’s not the first time Chi Yi has spoken badly about him in front of you.” Jiang Lin’s face was expressionless, “What’s the point of you being like this now?”

In fact, he didn’t know what Chi Yi said specifically, so that He Yang would hit him. 

Anyway, Chi Yi used to speak ill of his sister-in-law a lot before, so it’s probably the same this time.

“Not only Chi Yi, there are also others.” Jiang Lin laughed suddenly, “Even in front of you, they dare to mock and bully Sister-in-law.”

Jiang Lin asked, “Have you ever cared?”

Without waiting for He Yang’s answer, Jiang Lin answered himself and said: “Never. You have never cared about it.” 

“Isn’t it because you don’t care, that others look down on him.” Jiang Lin mocked, “Now that he’s dead. Is there any use for you to pretend to be so affectionate?”

Belated affection is meaningless.

 

“You didn’t care before.” Jiang Lin looked at the man, “Now that he is gone, you finally remember to fight for justice for him. Don’t you think it’s too late?”

He Yang didn’t say anything, as if he didn’t care what Jiang Lin said. 

Jiang Lin continued to ask: “Did you go to see him after he died? Did you call him once when he went to Anshi? That day, if you ——”

He Yang said: “I made a phone call.”

Xu ChengYan made a phone call the first night he went to Anshi.

The call that day was a little unpleasant, and he also somewhat forgot why they had a cold war at that time. 

He just remembered the last word he said to Xu ChengYan on the phone ——

‘Don’t come back.’

“He is already dead. It’s useless for you to say this now.” Jiang Lin returned the exact same words to He Yang.

“He’s been dead for two months, so don’t pretend to be so affectionate in the future.” Jiang Lin lowered his head, “Don’t tell me that, after he’s dead, you just suddenly wake up and fall in love (with him).” 

He Yang frowned, and said coldly: “Jiang Lin.”

“Okay, I won’t say it.” Jiang Lin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

For a while, the two had nothing to say.

Jiang Lin sat next to him for a while, got up, and left a business card on the table, “You can take a look when you have time.” 

He Yang picked up the business card, which was the contact information of a psychologist.

“I won’t go.”

***

But the next day, Jiang Lin forced He Yang to the psychological clinic. 

In the psychological consultation room, the doctor squinted and said somewhat surprised: “I didn’t expect that I would be able to see Young Master He one day, under such circumstances.”

“Hello, Mr. He.” The doctor opened the record book and asked: “Do you want to tell me about him?”

 

He Yang leaned back in the chair and said slowly, “I have a friend.”

“Yeah.” The doctor smiled and nodded, encouraging him to continue. 

“He’s dead.” He Yang’s tone was calm.

The doctor was still smiling, waiting for the man’s next words.

But the doctor waited for several more minutes, but the man still did not open his mouth.

The room fell into silence, and the doctor had no choice but to ask, “Then what?” 

“No more.” He Yang said lightly.

The doctor was very patient and continued to ask, “Is he just a friend?”

He Yang didn’t answer, just took out a pack of cigarettes and wanted to light one.

And because the bandage was still wrapped around the palm of his right hand, He Yang’s movement of lighting a cigarette was not very convenient. 

The doctor reminded: “Mr. He, you can’t smoke indoors.”

He Yang put down the lighter and played with a cigarette in his hand, with a casual attitude.

The doctor continued to ask: “Then how do you feel now?”

He Yang: “I don’t feel anything.” 

“Is there anything else you want to say?” The doctor tried to guide He Yang to open up his heart, “For example, some memories or something. You can share anything with me, I’m a good listener.”

“I have nothing to say.” He Yang was still in that casual attitude.

“Mr. He, I need you to cooperate with me and tell your true thoughts. “The doctor said, “Deliberately suppressing emotions for a long time is not a good sign.”

He Yang still didn’t respond. 

The doctor had to change the subject and asked, “How are you doing recently?”

“For example, is your appetite good every day? Has your weight changed? How is your sleep quality? Did you dream about him ——”

 

He Yang suddenly said: “No.”

“Huh?” The doctor was taken aback. 

He Yang put the cigarette back in his pocket, touched the wooden tag in his pocket with his fingertips, and said slowly, “I have never dreamed of him.”

He had never dreamed of him once.

Doctor: “Do you miss him?”

He Yang didn’t answer, and the room fell into silence again. 

And just when the doctor thought that He Yang would not answer, He Yang finally spoke up.

“Yes.”

‘I miss him.’

*** 

After leaving the psychological clinic, He Yang returned to the main house.

QiQi happily ran out of the villa, barking near the car, trying to find Xu ChengYan to play.

He Yang got out of the car and saw QiQi coming, he said, “He won’t come back.”

QiQi didn’t understand and continued to circle around the car. 

He Yang returned to the villa and sat alone on the balcony on the second floor, looking at the courtyard outside.

In the yard, the big dog was still waiting stupidly near the car door.

He Yang retracted his gaze. He looked down at the wooden tag in his hand, and stroked the seven words over and over again.

Not long after, the Steward came to the terrace and put the tea set on the table. 

He Yang suddenly asked: “Is today April Fool’s Day?”

The Steward: “April Fool’s Day has passed for a long time.”

 

He Yang stopped making a sound and just looked at the big dog in the yard.

In the yard, there was a maid who wanted to bring QiQi back to the villa, but QiQi had to stay by the car. 

QiQi squatted beside the car, he waited and waited ——

From summer to autumn, and from autumn to winter.

On the snow, QiQi was still squatting beside the car, his tail wagging, and there was a Frisbee beside him.

The car was already covered with a thick layer of snow, and QiQi raised his head obediently and kept looking at the window. 

QiQi was still waiting.

Waiting for Xu ChengYan to get out of the car and play games with him.

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