Chapter 2: A look into the past

I was a really bright student since I was a child and I am currently a bright student too. My scores are usually in top 5 or 10 in the grade. So studying was never a hinderance for me. Also I like games and sports very much. From childhood I was cared by my mother and my maternal aunt and maternal grandparents. My mother is a divorcee and we were living with her parents. My mother had a tragic past. She was a bright student and a good child, a really good one at that. She was like a perfect rolemodel for younger generations in her house. But grandmother of my mother was a really sly, cunning old fox. My mother and aunt were the daughters of my grandmother's elder son. My mother's grandmother (let's call her X from now on) doted her younger son and his children more. 

Let's save that bit*h's history for another time. She married my mother when she was only 20 years old. And the guy she married her off to was a sly men who was wolf in sheep's clothing. He was also my father. I was born when my mother was 21. She was tortured by that man day and night for almost 3 years when she finally decided she can't take it anymore and filed for divorce. I was really small at that time so I didn't had any idea what was going on. Then my mother moved to her parent's house along with me. We lived there for 2 years until my mother decided to move on from there to the city where my aunt lived.

5 years had passed since then and my mother decided to remarry her college sweetheart who was coincidentally unmarried at that time. I wasn't told anything about that nor I was asked whether I would be happy to have a stepdad or not. Well I was asked but on the day of marriage and I wasn't taken there cause my mother's new-in-laws were worried about their image. 

That's when I think it all started. My mother's marriage went happily and they moved to my stepdad's house leaving me behind and saying things like they would take me when situation was right or something. But I didn't get that. What situation were they talking about. Weren't my stepdad and his family already aware that my mother was a divorcee with a kid 10 y/o. I went to live with my aunt. 

My aunt was a busy woman. So basically I was alone at home all day. That's when my interest for gym began. People generally say that gym is not everything but for me at that time was only place where I felt I belong. I was getting depressed that I was unwanted but I didn't felt it at that time. 2 years had passed since then. Then one day my aunt asked my mother whether she would take me with her or not. My mother replied that they were sorting something but everyone knew it was bullsh*t. They argued a lot and finally my stepdad came to pick me up. I was really happy when I realised I had someone I could call dad. When we returned to new home. I was greeted with the sight of my mother playing with a child and when I asked who that child was, I was answered that she was my baby sister. 

That's when something broke inside me I didn't knew of. I came to know that everyone except me knew about that. I didn't say anything that time nor was I aware that something was not right with me. 

About my stepdad, the only thing I want to say that he's a huge pile of dogs**t but my mother refuse to see that part of him. He behaved strictly towards me saying that it is what needed to raise a child. Everyone except my mother could clearly see that he was treating me like some extra in his family. One day I couldn't take it anymore and went to my mother to talk about it and then the reply she gave me was "Son your father is right and you must have done something to upset him". That day another thing in me broke.

From that day I stopped talking to my new parents. Yes, I put mother in the category of new parents because she refused to believe me, and not one time but again and again and again until I lost all my confidence in her. They too didn't talk to me for like 2 years. 

I felt nothing about it. No anger, no uneasiness, nothing. Only disappointment was there in me. I stopped caring about anyone including my own 'new' parents. I sought refuge in gym, anime, manga, light novels and sports. That's when I think I started to like antagonist more. I became fan of some antagonist (very famous at them) from Nar*to series which I don't think I have to mention. 

That's when I started to become an apathetic introvert. My mother usually came to talk to me every now and then but that shita** never. But I felt nothing about it. 

Because of all of this happening around me, I wanted to spend less and less time at home. I began working here and there. Because of all of this I became quiet famous at school. I was depressed but I didn't felt anything wrong with me so I continued ignoring that. And now here I am, a complete insensitive jerk bast*rd that my friends called me.

At home my sister and mother talked to me and I replied cause I believed that I am living off on their money and I ought to do what they told me to. I didn't have any emotional attachment to them. But I don't blame them for who I am now. I am thankful to my mother for giving birth to me and raising me with best of her abilities. 

I was beginning to feel uncomfortable in that house. So I decided to move out. At first my mother was against that decision but my stepdad happily agreed with the condition that he will only be responsible for my academic fees and nothing else. I didn't felt anything inside me. Then I moved out and rented 1 BHK apartment near my school. 

This is the past I don't want to remember anymore. I wish I could go back to past to when my mother was still single but that's impossible so I had to move forward with my life.

That's when my sweet childhood self died and I became a shrewd guy who only thinks about himself. But I don't blame anyone about anything....

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