Chapter 5: Ch. 5

Jens’ phone rings. He switches the weight he’s holding to his left hand and fishes his phone out of his pocket. He picks up with out looking at the caller I.D.

“hello?”

“…”

“Hello?”

“This is Kei”

Jens almost drops the weight he has curled. 

“Oh- Hi, how are you?” Idiot. Talk normal..but not that normal you don’t even know why he called 

“I’m doing well.. how are you?” Kei’s silky voice sounds too close to Jens’ ear.

“Uh fine- I’m at the gym right now” It could be called a defense mechanism to feign comfort in uncomfortable situations. 

Jens sits down on the bench and wipes his face with his towel. There’s a pause in the conversation. If you could even call this a conversation.

“…okay?”

Jens makes a face and looks at the phone “look you called me I’m just trying to play it cool here”

Kei laughs “I’m sorry, honestly once I heard your voice I forgot I was the one who called you first.”

Jens blushes at Keis laugh, or maybe he’s just warm from his work out. “Okay, so why’d you call?”

“Um- I was wondering if you’d help me prepare for an exhibit I’m going to be part of?”

Jens rolls his eyes. Of course. Call the big dude to help you move heavy stuff. He should have expected this.

“You want me to hang paintings for you? Is that how you got my number? The professor give it to you? Geez What happened to respecting the models space?”

Kei sighs “No I don’t need your help hanging them I uh-“

Jens sits there through the silence. He looks at his phone to make sure its still connected “hello?”

“I want you to model for me”

Jens is surprised “..Really? Just Like I did the other day?” He wants to repeat what we did that day? GOOD! Because I want to repeat what we did the other day! I can’t stop thinking about it.  

“…Yeah”

“Okay. Yes.” Jens answers too quickly.

“I understand if you don’t- Wait what?”

“I’ll do it, I wanna” jens is smirking to himself. Once the shock of hearing from kei was over, he began to like the idea of seeing him again. He is misunderstanding the assignment somehow.

Kei pauses “…okay. When are you free?”

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“Tomorrow. Tonight? No, Now?” Calm down. At least try and play it cool.

Kei laughs. Jens blushes again. Looking down to the floor to hide his face. His laugh is nice. I want to see what his face looks like right now. Jens can’t picture Kei laughing beyond the scoffs and quick sneering exhales he heard from him that day. 

“Tomorrow. I’ll send you the address to my studio, let’s meet at 5”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow”

    The call ends as quickly as it started. Jens looks at the call time, under ten minuets. Jens is sat there staring. He means sex right? He’s not serious about me modeling… right? But what if he is serious…what if he wants to put my body on display in an exhibit???* Jens smirks. That’s kinda hot..nah it’s probably just a weird excuse for sex. People have given me weirder excuses before. He stands up and picks up his equipment and starts pumping furiously Either way, working out helps with stamina, so!

Kei is staring at his phone “I feel like he didn’t understand me…” It took him a long time to make that phone call. All for it to be so painless and short. It seems like he worked up self up over nothing. Jens was as simple as he seemed. Kei sighs, his skin prickling at the thought that tomorrow he’ll be face to face with Jens again. His body reminds him that being together in the same room would make it all too easy to repeat their tryst in the bathroom. Kei’s mind has to work hard to reject that idea and remind himself that the purpose of seeing Jens is not to touch him, but to paint him for the exhibit. 

    Kei didn’t sleep that night, his thoughts were haunted by Jens. He sits down to draw. The frustration of not fully remembering his face eats away at him. His night of torment leaves him one conclusion “Do not get too close to Jens. He will destroy you” If just the thought of Jens caused him this much anguish, then forming any kind of bond with him could only result in worse. In Kei’s frightening imagination, letting Jens walk into his studio might end his career as an artist. But it could also save me as an artist too..what if the exhibit is a success? He worries being too optimistic may only break his heart later. 

————

     Kei is setting up his studio, equipment is laid out. Brushes, jars of turpentine, an apple crate of half used tubes of oil paint are all beside his easel. The blinds are closed and interior lighting is on display. He has a large canvas in front of him. He should be here soon. Kei bites his thumb Am I really ready for an exhibit like this? He fidgets with his work station while waiting. He feels like he can’t keep still. There’s a knock at the door

    Jens is nervous. He goes through his mental check list. Showered? Check. Shaved? Check. Clipped his nails? Check. He smells good, he looks good. Check, check. Wait, I brought condoms right? I should make sure.. could always run to the convince- Kei opens the door to see jens digging through his back pack. Jens straightens up and laughs nervously. He feels like he got caught doing something embarrassing. “Hey!” He puts on his  ‘I’m on my best behavior’ smile. 

    Kei stares at him for a moment then steps aside. “You can come in.” Jens looks around the studio. “This is a cool place- I like the uh- greyness of it” Kei frowns “It’s monochrome. Helps me see the details better” Kei stands in front of a small couch “The bathroom is over there. I left a robe for you”

    Jens is surprised. He moves faster then expected! Jens walks out as Kei is setting up the couch with a large silk blanket. Jens doesn’t want to make assumptions but this feels suggestive. “Come here” Jens walks over hesitantly.  “Sit.” Jens does. He’s also surprise by how obediently he listens to that cool satiny voice. He looks up at Kei who is staring down at him. The air feels stiff. Keis posture is very tight, his face unreadable. He reaches out and begins ruffling his hair. Jens accepts it whole heartedly, even enjoying it a bit. This unannounced physical contact feels like something that’s leading to something. Jens would rather skip to the later part. He grabs the back of Kei’s thighs. Kei freezes his movements “Am I going to be the only one naked here?” Jens asks in a husky voice. Kei looks at him, indignant. “Yes. You’re the only model I have scheduled.” Jens connects the dots. I’m actually just modeling?! Why the hell am I even here then!!! Jens frowns “so- youre actually just going to draw me today?” Kei rummages in his pocket. His face hasn’t changed once. I don’t even want to know what was going on in that Neanderthal brain of his. He snaps the cap off a small tube and rubs chapstick on jens lips. Jens is surprised but then rubs it in. Kei watches his lips slide against eachother. He looks away. He’s almost worryingly pliant. He really just rolls with it huh? “I’m going to to paint you today” Jens nods. “Okay” I’m an idiot. I’m a fucking idiot. Why do I think with my dick?! No no, I can save this, he fell for me last time didn’t he? Jens grabs the back of Kei’s thigh, spreading his legs more so Kei is mostly standing between them. He pulls gently and Kei takes a step forward from the wobbly balance. Jens taxes up at his through his eyelashes. “What about after?” Kei brushes him off backing up So much for him being obedient. “I pay you and you go home.” Jens frowns. Yes, as a grown man being denied sex, he’s pouting. His face is void of any resentment or aggression, it just reads disappointment. It’s a childish response, but endearing in it’s own way.

     Kei walks over to his station. “Take your robe off and sit however you want. Ill tell you if you need to adjust anything” Jens does as asked. There’s not much else for him to do besides what he’s told. At least he’ll get paid. In retrospect, just being in the same room as Kei makes him feel giddy. It’s like when Jens would sit in the seat across from the cool female uppserclassmen in high school.  He has a thrilling admiration for Kei. The mystery of him fuels Jens’ imagination of what it would be like to get close to him.

    Unsure how to pose on a couch, Jens decides comfort is a priority. He leans back. His head resting on one arm and his legs draped at the knees on the next arm. He is too tall for this couch. Kei drags his easel to a better position, looking over jens shoulder. His eyes squint. Where there used to be neatly trimmed curly hair, there’s now nothing. “You shaved.” Jens looks up over his shoulder at him. “oh- yeah uh- should I not have?” Kei frowns slightly before correcting his face. “It’s whatever. I liked you how you were, but this is fine too. Just put your arm on your stomach to hide it a bit” Jens Places his hand lightly on his pelvic area. He’s tempted to cup himself. This is comfortable. It’s the exact position he sometimes naps in, television playing something on repeat, his hand in his shorts, legs sprawled out. At least he’s not on an uncomfortable stool.  Jens looks back and smirks “I have a picture for reference. I can send it to you if you want.” Kei sighs. Barbaric. “No, don’t do that.” Jens frowns and looks forward again. This sucks. I’m bored, I can’t even look at him and It’s cold.

      kei begins sketching. Jens looks over at him. He just wants to see his face. Kei is much less playful than Pretty Face was. It’s hard to believe this is the same guy Jens gave a haphazard handjob to in a public restroom. “Please keep from moving if its possible” Jens looks forward again. This is frustrating. Jens understands the concept of professionalism but does that still apply to someone you’ve come on? He’s practically ignoring me. How can you stare at someone for this long and still ignore them? Jens smirks deviously. Maybe if I tease him a bit he’ll loosen up. This attitude is ruining my mood. Jens closes his eyes, picturing Kei’s body, them in the stall. For the last week, this is the only thing he pictures when he spends time alone with himself at night, or in the morning..or in the shower. He opens his eyes surprised Haaa? Wasn’t that too fast of a reaction? He hears Kei set down the brush and start walking over. He’s smirking to himself. Got him. Kei tosses the blanket over Jens’ lower half. “If your body has strong reactions we can cover it.” Jens frowns and grabs Kei’s hand before he can walk away. Kei tries to pull his hand away. “Wait, wait.” Kei pauses looking down at him. “What?” His face is smooth of any creases. His eyes are firm.  Jens puts on his winning smile “I thought we were going to fool around. Were you really just planning to do this? I’ll play along if it’s like..what gets you going but-” kei sighs, ripping his hand out of Jens’. “Yes! I have an exhibit in a few months I need to make pieces worth being displayed. This is really serious to me and its hurtful if you make this seem like a joke! Im trying to be professional here, but if this is too much for you to handle I understand, you can leave!” Kei throws his hands in the direction of the door. His voice felt louder to himself then it truly was. He felt like he just screamed at the top of his lungs but it came out in a plea.

     Kei is frustrated. He can feel all his fears building up. He had kept such a strong face until this moment. And Jens’ constant teasing was distracting him in even more frustrating and physical way. This was a mistake. He made the wrong decision reaching out to jens after all.

     Jens regrets his words after seeing Keis face pinch in pain. He reaches for Kei’s hand again then halts. “No, No, alright. I’m sorry okay? Ill take this seriously too okay? I’ll behave so, go back and paint. I’ll be a good French girl.” Jens voice is apologetic. A soft tone and kind words trying to defuse a bomb. He didn’t mean to upset Kei like this. He just never expected someone to be interested in doing something like this with him. It was foreign to Jens. He would rather do something he’s familiar with that he knows feels good. I really didn’t consider what this meant to Kei. And here I was being a pushy jerk. Hes obviously freaking out. 

    Kei sighs “no- I’m sorry. I’m just stressed.” He walks back to his easel. Jens takes the blanket off. “You preferred it off right?” His voice is even and free of any of taunting. It was him respecting Kei’s initial vision. Jens sits still and stays posed silently. Kei keeps sketching. He can feel himself blushing. That was an embarrassing outbursts. But I’m even more embarrassed that he thought I lied to get him to come over. It’s also embarrassing how badly I want to take him up on his offer. Kei is watching Jens. He shifts every now and then. He’s probably really bored. “You can close your eyes if it’s more comfortable. The lights are bright” Jens nods and closes his eyes, determined to only do what he’s told and nothing else.

    Jens startles awake. The room is dim and he’s wrapped in a blanket. There’s a mug of water on a coaster on the floor beside the couch. He sits up straight. The atmosphere is daunting. He thinks back, trying to remember how he lost track of time. He sniffs the water to make sure it’s not secretly turpentine then takes a sip. Did I really fall asleep? How long was I out? That’s pretty embarrassing especially after all the raunchy stuff I implied. I’m at a 0-2 right now as far as proving my skills in bed goes. First time I came fast and this time I pass out? He looks around “Kei?” No response. He walks into the next room where a light is coming from. Kei is washing his brushes. He looks tired. Kei looks over at Jens face, then down to his waist, then back up to meet his eyes. “Your clothes are on the chair” Jens realizes he’s still naked and covers himself. Then sighs moving his hands again “Sorry. Ah, I guess it’s too late for modesty” Kei huffs a laugh. Jens sees how much he’s already washed at the sink. Brushes, Jars, rags.  “How’d it come out?” Kei turns to him smiling “I’m happy with it.” Jens heart pounds in his chest. He admires Kei’s face. His smile is brilliant. I didnt do anything except harass him and pass out on his couch, but I want to take credit for that smile. “uh-good-“ Kei stares at him like he’s waiting. “I left the money with your clothes, I didn’t know when you’d wake up.” He sets everything out on a drying rack. “I’m going to clean up this piece for the week but maybe next Saturday you could come back” Jens feels disappointed that he has to leave, but the chance of being welcomed back brings his mood up. Next time he would do it right. He’d behave well and get Kei to open up to him. He won’t repeat the same mistakes. If Kei were to be warm and kind to him, If he were to smile freely with him.. that would make Jens very happy he thinks. “Right- I guess I’ll head out then” Kei nods. Jens passes by Kei to grab his clothes. He ruffles his hair “Good work monsieur” Kei blushes as he watches naked jens tug on his pants. The door clicks behind him.

That night, in their own ways they came to the same conclusion:

Today wasn’t as disastrous as I thought.

 

 

 

 

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