An attempt at randomness

Chapter 2: Chapter 2


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The process of the teleport was Trippy as hell! In case you are wondering, I have absolute control over all my powers; I am not all-powerful, but I have all powers whether I think of using them in a particular situation is entirely up to the will of the universe or how stupid I am at the moment or how I am feeling. Still, there is no training arc. Yay!

Back to the present, I am on top of a shop looking at a chapel where there seems to be a wedding going on, and there are a LOT of nobles; I transformed into a Priest and blended in with the staff of the Chapel.

I didn't make it very far when I heard a bunch of Archbishops discussing something worriedly, so I shifted my clothes to look like them and got closer to eavesdrop on them.

"The bandits have kidnaped the Pope and the cardinals! What do we do? The Emperor will have our heads if we don't finish the ceremony in time!" whisper yelled a worried Archbishop.

I got interested and did a quick search on every one of interest.

Apparently, the Emperor of this Empire called Buxomsmilton is a reaaaaaal Quote"Tyrant"Quote [note the extra THICK sarcasm there; it will make sense later] and today is the wedding of his eldest son from his true wife. So, he is paying extra attention, like PERSONAL attention, disregarding the rest of the Empire. The Prince is a pretty okay dude, talented enough to rule a kingdom but not talented enough to rule a fucking continent-wide empire; that's where the bride comes in; she is the daughter of the mister of internal security as such, was raised in an environment that made her into a patriot and given her talents can take the Empire to new heights.

The Emperor and the Prince know this, and the 'nobles' know this, and they can't let this marriage go through hence the kidnapping of the Pope and all the cardinals. You might be wondering why not kill her and be done with it. Remember how I said the Emperor is a "Tyrant"? a few lines ago? That's why. In case you are still wondering, the Emperor pretty much massacred entire family lines/organizations down to newborns and newbies when he first came to power. Why, you ask? Corruption, a buttload of it. Enough for the then great kingdom to collapse in on itself.

The Emperor is a chill dude as long as you don't threaten him and his and cares deeply about the people, but he can't bring any changes himself without damaging the Image/reputation he has built up, which is pretty much the only thing holding the massive Empire together at this time, which is where his son and daughter-in-law come in. They are meant to be the new face of the Bluddy Empire, and he absolutely can't risk losing them at this point, lest he put several millions of lives on the line. Luckily the young couple love each other, and both are smart enough to understand what their home needs. Unluckily, the other children of the Emperor and 70% of the nobles want nothing more than to possess the power/authority of the Emperor.

Hence the importance of the wedding to solidify her tie/claim to the throne and the ingenious move by the Nobles and other Royals to sabotage the wedding.

Unluckily for them, I am here, and I am not going to let some bigots ruin what is essentially a stupidly epic moment in history, and I am going to dial the epicness to an 11! Did I mention the stupidly large number of assassins in the wedding hall assigned to kill the Couple and the Emperor as soon as the wedding is complete? I didn't? Well, now you know, and you can imagine the epicness that will go down in some time.

I got out of my hyperspeed thinking and quietly took my place as the officiant, and the best part was that no one could say anything because it was too late.

[Who are you?] said a voice in my head. It was the Emperor.

[My name is Clyde Veela, My Emperor, and I am the Archbishop of the Sith Valley. I am taking the place of the Pope as it appears that he is currently a hostage.] I answered with a smile and no fear. He smirked but said nothing.

Taking that as his approval, guards positioned themselves between me and the assassins without raising suspicion. It also gave me 'escape routes which showed that the Emperor approved of me officiating this wedding. I bowed in thanks, not that I needed to, but you got to show respect where it is due. I quickly refreshed myself on the process and was appalled by the promises they make; they were all empty and promised nothing to each other, which is not how a marriage works. It looks like I will have to do a bit more than add epic music and ghost cameras.

Lucky for me, the 'God' of bonds of this dimension approves of my actions here.*Blink* OHHHHHHHHH, the gods of this verse are interested in the wedding and, subsequently, the imperial family, which may or may not have been my fault. Anyway time to make a DIVNE wedding.

"Presenting the Groom, Crown Prince Bitwell von Buxomsmilton!" perfect timing.

He looks like this

What? Did you think I was talking about vanilla humans? Oh please, I am in a world of swords, staffs, and gods! Obviously, there are more than just humans here.

The Prince saluted his father [don't ask me to describe it, it's complicated] and kneeled in front of the statue of the god while I stood in my place at the right of the statue. Time to do my job.

"Wherefore hast thee cometh to the embrace of Heston the god bonds?" all hail the internet!

"I wisheth to maketh a bond of unity," replied the Prince.

"Then thee shalt waiteth until the one thee wisheth to uniteth with arrives" Shakespearean English is hilarious, ouch, ouch, I get it! Stop poking me with a pen! Anyway, where was I? A yes, the prince, by waiting for your partner, you are showing the god that you are sincere/serious about the bond you are about to make, but this is just the intermediate step, The initial step being the families of the bride and groom along with the couple to spend a month without food, water or sleep, surviving only off mana.

Afterward, the groom enters the Chapel, kneels at the god's foot, and waits for the bride. The groom waits at the foot of the god until the bride joins him or the groom's family raises him. On the bride's side, the faster she comes and joins the groom at the foot of the god, the more her sincerity towards her partner and the bond they will share. After which they state the terms of the bond, which has been 'thoroughly defined by the great some bigot guy of some era' which are NOTHING MORE THAN FANCY WORDS THAT SAY THE COUPLE WILL DO NOTHING FOR/TO EACHOTHER! But I suppose it makes sense considering those who marry here in the grate chapel are nobles, kings, and those sorts of people don't marry out of love but greed, with very few exceptions.

Huh, it looks like the bride has Joined the grom. She looks like this.

Wherefore hast thee cometh to the embrace of Heston the god bonds?" I ask again.

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"I hast cometh here to completeth the bond of unity with Bitwell von Buxomsmilton."

"Doth thee Bitwell von Buxomsmilton accepteth Waiher von Destibor as the completing half of thy bond?" I ask, after this, for all intents and purposes, they are 'married,' and by 'married,' I mean only children born between them have any right over their things, power, achievements, responsibilities, etc.

"I accepteth," says the prince sealing their children's faith; I will add next to sealing their faith, and the gods approve if the stupid spotlight on me, the couple, and the statue is anything to go by.

"Doth both of thee gage to support each other's ambition, goals, and pursuits unconditionally?" I ask, my voice sounding different, almost divine, it was soft as a father whispering to his child yet unshakable as a mountain braving the tsunami, and I didn't do anything!

The crowd was dead silent; the Emperor stood up in wonder, fear, shock, and joy.

"We promiseth," answered the couple in sync. If their body language is anything to go by, they are either highly terrified or excited or a mixture of both.

"Doth the two of thee accepteth each other wholly and completely?" came my second question, this time tho it was the mother whispering instead of the father, and this one was my fault.

"We doth," came their answer faster than before.

"Doth, both of thee, reserve the position of thy spouse for each other and only each other?" okay, I messed up. I don't know how to ask them if they will keep 'it' between themselves. Maybe I should do a street marriage one of these days; I can say whatever the fuck I want there.

"We hast," came the answer of the couple immediately. Will you look at that? I didn't have to ask after all~. I am going to give them superpowers before I go.

"Doth the both of thee promiseth not to keepeth secrets from each other?" I ask, and they hesitate for a moment before saying.

"We doth not," which honestly put a smile on my face, and the gods approve if the sudden increase in the intensity and pleasantness of the spotlight is anything to go by. Honesty saying I can't tell you something, is better than lying.

After that, I asked for a few promises that either prevented future problems or forced them to work them out together, and finally, it was time for my gift; the atmosphere changed, the divinity of the gods got dimmer while my presence grew more prominent as I asked a final question.

"Do you, Waiher von Destibor and Bitwell von Buxomsmilton, agree to share your very soul with each other?"

They didn't answer for a solid minute, during which the Emperor watched me like a Robot. He probably realized there was nothing he could do to stop me if I wanted to do something, but he looked like he was going to try either way.

"We agree," came the voice of the young couple.

I smiled as the cosmos appeared behind me; my priest clothes were replaced with a simple white T-shirt, black jeans, and sports shoes. I stretched my hand an armguard appeared on the left and right arms of the couple. I had left it blank with a rainbow gem in the center, but the GODs of this verse had a different idea as intricate patterns and symbols soon covered them, making them beautiful beyond compare. I disappeared from the chapel, hoping they use my gift during the fight but... but the fight didn't happen!

Apparently, I spooked the nobles and the assassins enough that they plan to escape to another continent!

Note to self, Do not show off before an epic scene occurs!

Well, time for another jump.

 

 

 

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