Chapter 50: Ch 50 – Former Tiger Kin

“Then speak with her.” Naan replied.

“How would I go about doing that?” I demanded with fury.

“Your dream ability.” Naan replied.

I blinked, the very idea threw me off. Was that a thing? I instinctively felt at the ability I’d only used last night. It felt like far longer considering it was probably well past midnight at this point. Today had been a long day, and mana or not I was starting to feel the fatigue building up. Then again I was feeling particularly chilly now… But It honestly helped cool my rage a bit too. Now that I'd stopped for a moment the combination of cool rain and the surprise left me feeling jarred, but less angry. I didn’t really know why I went outside at this point. What had come over me? I returned to the kitchen and removed my damp dress letting most of the water pour off of me as the fleshy fabric flowed into my skin. It was a lot like standing in a shower and quickly turning off the water. The bulk of it just rolled off of me until only the more stubborn droplets remained.

I returned to my seat even as I remained nude allowing myself time to dry. That had been dumb, no matter how I thought about it.

Still, this couldn’t wait. I reached out and felt around for sleeping people. Much to my surprise, there were two such people, within the gemstone in my chest. Not that it was so directional or even specific. But I knew the truth of it. So my ability worked with sleeping minds? I suppose souls contained the minds rather than brains? Maybe it was some strange combination? Maybe that was why my past was so fragmented and in pieces? I suppose I didn't really care about that, it was interesting, but not important.

I reached out touching one with the ability. Slowly bit by bit an image began to build in my mind. There were fuzzy shapes all around. Everything in fact seemed fuzzy, indistinct. There was certainly a person there. But even they were more an outline of shadows made of a colorless nothingness… They were sitting in a chair in front of a desk of some variety.

Who was this and why was this dream so strange? It was nothing like the dreams I’d seen from either Devin or Gerl. The shining surface reminded me of something I’d seen in a memory as well. This must have been the other soul that Naan had recovered.

I decided to move on and focus on Kay instead rather than get distracted by other things. I forced my mind to switch tracks and stop concerning myself with the strange nothingness dream.

I reached out and touched Kay instead. Like the other dream, it began slowly. But after a few moments, I started to get distinct things. A tent, a pit, and clay pots? Bit by bit a tiny scene constructed itself in my mind. Would this be the right way to do this? Wasn’t this a bit impersonal? Could I do more than just make adjustments? Could I… I pressed inwards, not so much wanting to watch from the outside, but wanting to participate on the inside.

No sooner had I done so than I felt a little sick as I found myself standing inside a tent, while also sitting on the table.

There was a distinct difference between the two, and I could clearly move one or the other. I did so to test it my view shifting slightly my arm moving in the real world. But my instincts and body made the whole thing seem practically gut-wrenching. I decided to close my eyes, which helped tremendously. I took a few moments to realize that Kay had not noticed me. She was just sitting next to the fire pit her hands held out to the embers trying to gain some measure of warmth. She was looking around as if not sure why she was there. Clearly having no idea I was watching.

I tried to speak, “Kay, can you hear me?” and my voice seemed to come from everywhere at once, like some kind of all-important deity speaking to its lowly subjects, which wasn't the vibe I wanted.

Kay glanced around, “Hello? Who is there? Where am I?” She asked a touch of concern in her voice.

I shifted around so I was opposite to her, but as my position and angle moved I realized the problem, I’d not made or considered that I needed a body for this. I was little more than an invisible observer taking in the sights of what Kay’s mind had created. This made sense when I was watching Gerl’s dream, for instance, It gave me an impersonal vantage point and suited simple meddling well. But I needed something more.

Like I’d change anything else in a dream I simply provided an image, of myself. I choose to use my tiger kin persona instead of the human one, thinking that might be a bit more familiar to her. But hopefully, it was different enough from Meryl that there wouldn’t be any confusion.

The image I’d given constructed itself across from her as I wanted. With a bit more force on my part I shifted my perspective into the body I’d so envisioned. So it was that I was sitting across from Kay. The whole process had been almost effortless on my part and had been so easy and natural to me that I could scarcely believe it. Then again this was all sort of in my own head, and hers. So this entire power was nothing but imagination and thought, so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that it was easy.

Kay who had been rubbing her hands together noticed almost immediately, and she took a step back without standing as she noticed me, “Who… who are you?” She nearly fell backward onto her butt but somehow her awkward position and standing didn't matter, likely because this was a dream rather than reality.

How to explain? I had not really put any thought into this beforehand. I wasn’t, and would never be the type of person to dwell on such things, practice speeches, or worry about what to say. Yet I couldn’t help but think, that maybe this situation could have used a little of that. Too late, time to wing it. “I’m the woman you kept calling Meryl when we were imprisoned.” I offered as my introduction.

Kay stiffened visibly at those words.

Maybe I should have tried to be softer, more caring? “You probably hate me…” I admitted, “I don’t really blame you if you do, but I really think that we needed to speak to each other.”

A few moments lingered while Kay considered her reply, “When I saw you change… I thought you’d been trying to fool me the whole time…” She said jumping straight into the blame game.

I nodded hanging my head a bit, this was a lost cause, wasn’t it? Why did I think this was a good idea? No, stop that thinking like that! I promised to help her. I can’t help her by ignoring her. I looked up ready to try again.

Before I speak further Kay continued. “But when I saw you crying… I could see how sad you were. I finally understood that you'd been trying to tell me you weren't Meryl the whole time.” She said her expression regretful, “I just didn't want to believe you.”

I couldn’t help but be shocked at that. It wasn’t what I was expecting, it wasn’t even in the realm of what I imagined.

“I know you expect me to hate you, or be angry. But you were pretty nice to me. Especially since I know that you aren't my sister after all.” Kay explained giving me a tiny smile.

I couldn’t help but feel for her. Though being "not her sister after all" stung more than I would have expected it would. Not sure why I was saying it I just spoke, “I’m sorry…”

“For what?” Kay asked she was clearly a little confused by my choice as well.

I tried to come up with an answer. The more I considered, the more I couldn’t quite find the answer. It wasn’t like I was apologizing for what I did, I was just trying to sympathize with her. “Just… how things turned out I guess.”

“I don't accept that. It's those elves that did all of this. They took everyone from me…” She said staring at the pot her expression far too mild for this. She had hints of emotion, a tiny smile, or a sad look. But I couldn’t help but know there should be more. I expected tears, yet none came. Maybe I was projecting my own thoughts, but I had never taken Kay to be strong and stoic. She had always leaned on Joan for support. But Joan too...

“Are you alright?” I asked. I knew it was a stupid question as I uttered it.

She considered but then shrugged, “I don't know?"

I didn’t know what to say to that. But then again what should I expect?

“What… even is this? Are you doing this?” She asked after a moment glancing back around, “This… isn’t real.” She stated as fact.

I didn’t know what gave her such certainty about our location, but I supposed I should start at the beginning. “Do you know Naan?” I asked.

She shook her head.

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“The dungeon?” I offered instead.

She nodded at that.

“Stupid dungeon…” I growled mostly to myself.

“Is it?” She asked.

Well maybe I should finally figure out what Naan had done, “Could you tell me what it made you do? Or, did too you?” I asked.

“Oh…” Kay said glancing down obviously a bit more resistant at that.

“So it did something bad after all then?” I confirmed.

“It gave me a body… Then it told me that if I could… um…. Make mana, it would reward me. Said that this was my second chance.”

I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands. Greedy greedy Naan.

“It told me that I could make mana for it by having… um… by trying to make babies…” She explained, “Though not those words.”

“Right…” I said unfortunately understanding completely.

“I didn’t really know what to do… or what to say… I mean it did bring me back to life… I went along with it. It was easier than with the elves… I thought of how you acted. How you didn’t care if you hated them or otherwise. You just took it and enjoyed it.” Kay explained distantly.

As it turned out I had been a terrible role model after all. How had it come to this?

“I just laid back and the man. Who had introduced himself as Emmett… um… well, he, you know…” She explained nothing, yet it was obvious all the same. “It wasn’t all bad… it wasn’t all good… I don’t think I can be like you though.” She admitted after a few moments.

What do I say? What do I do? I decided to ask one more question before I did anything, “Did you make any sort of deal with the dungeon?”

“Hmm? Deal? What do you mean?”

“A contract? It would have said that if you had.” I tried again.

She shook her head, “No… I just did the things It wanted me to. I admit it was somewhat strange. Being in a body that wasn't quite mine, trying to do things that the dungeon told me I could do. The whole thing was overwhelming and strange. I just went along with what it said because of that. I… I didn’t want to die again.”

Fuck, Naan why? Why did you have to do this? Why did you ignore me? Why can’t we be on the same page?

It sounded a lot like my introduction to this world. Honestly, it was too similar, I had little doubt Naan was trying to apply what it had learned from me on Kay. But because Kay was really nothing like me, none of it really made any sense. Kay and I were really nothing alike, and the idea that Naan could somehow force that, make her share this affinity? It seemed laughable to me. But to Naan? What did that gemstone see in people? Were they nothing but numbers? Or did it consider them more of boxes it couldn't help but not understand? There was likely a reason dungeon contracts existed. Without it how could Naan, a rock that was unable to sympathize with a living creature even try to interact? It was almost pitiable in a way.

Letting my mind return to the tiger kin across from me I considered her. Kay seemed to be holding up better than I expected. She had been getting stronger when we were in captivity. That strength was helping, but I felt deep down that there was a far simpler explanation.

I slowly stood up, and ignoring the pit between us, I took a few steps forward and knelt down I wrapped her up in my arms.

She stiffened at first, clearly surprised. But as soon as she got passed that, her body relaxed in my arms.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this…” I said as I squeezed her. “You don’t need to be like me, you don’t need to be what the dungeon wants. You can just be you. I promise from now forward that's how this is going to be. I’m going to take better care of everyone.” I promised. This wasn't just about Kay. This wasn't just about me. Devin, the goblins, and eventually Gerl were all involved as well. I needed to do something, to change something.

“I… Umm…” She said sniffling.

“I promised myself that I’d help you out of that prison… and then I watched you die.” I said tears rolling down my cheeks as I sniffled over her head.

I could see as her two ears lowered to the sides. “Why do you care?” She asked.

I considered not saying it, but in the end, I didn’t want to lie to her. “Because you remind me of my sister… Which, to be honest, is a touchy subject considering what I do remember of her. But deep down I think I wanted to be a better sister to her. But I’ll never get that chance, so I decided I’d try for Meryl instead. Try to do what she couldn’t, just like I couldn’t for my sister.” I explained as my tears fell upon her head.

I heard her sniffle. “But… You didn’t even know her right?”

How would she even know that? Still, I didn’t really need to concern myself with that, “No… I didn’t. But I don’t really care about that. This isn’t about what Meryl wants. This is what I want to do as the one who inherited something from her.” I confirmed.

At that she started to sob, those sobs turned into more, deeper tears welled up from her. I just tried to hold her. If nothing else she had lost her sister, her friends, and family. Deep down, I too could relate even if I couldn’t remember it. She deserved better, and I would have to be the one that stepped up to ensure that is what happened.

It was strange doing this in a dream. I could still hear the rain, even as I hugged Kay inside her own mind I closed my dream eyes and opened my real eyes if just for a moment. If my body wasn’t practically humming with mana I would probably have been frozen by the chill air that had covered me in goosebumps. If nothing else I supposed I was dry enough now to cover myself in fleshy cloth, it like hair at least seemed to help stave off the chill.

I moved slowly so as to not disorient myself as I was still very much in two places. I gave myself the same dress as usual and retook my seat before I got too dizzy.

The sensation of holding Kay in my arms and her sobbing beckoned me back. But for the moment I had something else to do.

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