Chapter 127: Chapter 126 – A Panda That Roars For Furries

  “Wait, come again,” Long Di thought he misheard.

  “That’s what they want!” she shouted. She then looked back into the carriage. “Pandas in the distance! Unless everyone here no longer wants to be a pure maiden and whatever the hell the male equivalent is, grab your weapons and prepare for battle!”

  ****

  “I’m sorry, do you mind backing the hell up? What are the words panda and rape doing in the same sentence?”

  “No time! Long Di, since you’re next to useless at the moment, we’ll have to take charge! Feng Yu, what’s the number!?”

  Shing!

  Yaomu Shou took out the purple sword and got everyone battle-ready. Jia Yan got his hands on the new axe that I bought for him.

  “There are upwards of about ten or so!”

  I could hear Feng Yu’s estimate from outside and got a bit curious myself. I wanted to see what they were like, but I was still a bit weak from my earlier right.

  My body was recovering very quickly when you consider the type of damage I took. However, I had a portion of my earth esse stolen according to Yaomu Shou and the only way I could heal that was with the help of time. If I ever get the chance to accelerate time, I need to grab that chance asap.

  If only I was only lacking in spiritual qi, this could be quickly recovered by whipping out my cauldrons… that sounds pretty dirty now that I think about it. Especially when you take into consideration what’s lurking outside at the moment.

  Yaomu Shou was finished preparing herself and dashed out of the carriage to stand side-by-side with Feng Yu who had the reins.

  I dragged myself to the opening of the carriage and opened the curtain that blocked the outside view from everyone.

  As I looked around, I saw a mass of dust clouds in the distance. The distinct features of black and white could be made out, while it seemed to be in a mad dash towards us.

  The thing is, we were losing them, and quite fast too. I watched the Super Donkeys, who were tearing up the ground as they ran like crazy. I could’ve sworn I saw fear in their eyes.

  “Oh, no! We’re too late!” Yaomu Shou said after a moment of closing her eyes, appearing to be lost in concentration.

  “What do you mean?” I asked her. “We seem to be losing them at a pretty quick rate.”

  “Wait, you’re in the Core Flame Evocation realm, right?” she asked me.

  “Yeah,” one of the things I noticed so far, is that I seem to be fighting a bunch of old guys, elders, and things of that ilk. It’s like this world refuses to give me an easy path forward by having me spam my cultivation realm against people my age.

  Hearing my answer, she continued, “I guess that’s why you haven’t noticed anything. Since you’re a Core Flame Evocation re-”

  “You know the title for that realm is Martial Master, right? Like it seems much easier to say,” I advised her.

  “…” she looked not happy, so I whistled nonchalantly and failed since I can’t whistle.

  “I’m not going to tell you anything about what happened,” she turned her head.

  “Hm, okay then,” I said. After that, I used my spiritual force to fuel my spiritual perception.

  Whoosh!

  Since I was out of practice because I love using my eyes, my control over my spiritual perception was a tad rusty. The carriage rattled under the release of my spiritual force and I could see Yaomu Shou’s shocked gaze as I expanded my range.

  My spiritual perception moved at a pretty frightening speed as it covered a large ground. Eventually, I could see very clearly the things that were chasing us and people… let me tell you, this is profoundly disturbing.

  So think of pandas, normal pandas mind you. Did you do it? Good. Now forget everything that you just imagined and try to conceive this in your head.

  Imagine them being so hocked up on steroids that they could easily put the Hulk to shame. Now try to picture them being capable of exhibiting human expressions. Regarding said expressions, the one they’re most capable of displaying is reminiscent of supreme kai’s rape face.

  We’re not done with this nightmare fuel. The final nail in the coffin is the fact that they seem to be veiny… very veiny… too veiny. You have no idea how disturbingly veiny they are. Now visualize several of these veiny, rape-face possessing, muscle-bound pandas running in a mob. When you’re finished, just know this, they’re somehow worse.

  It was at this moment that I somehow rejoiced internally that the pandas I knew back home never took fitness seriously. The repercussions were much too harrowing.

  I wanted to stretch the bounds of my spiritual perception and went even further beyond and saw something that caused my family jewels to contract in shock. There were even more pandas coming from every direction.

  There were several mobs closing in on us. Speed was now useless to us because it was obvious that no matter where we went, we would end up grappling with one or more of the mobs; and I don’t know about you, but grappling with anything that is synonymous with rape is not okay.

  I withdrew my spiritual perception and went into meditation immediately before looking at Yaomu Shou, who was looking back at me, “We’re surrounded. They’re a few miles out at least too. That’s why us losing them didn’t put you at ease.”

  She looked at me with even more shock, “H-How did you-”

  “My spiritual perception caught the groups that were encircling us,” I told her. I don’t think there’s any need for her to be so shocked.

  “How could your spiritual perception be so strong whilst you’re only at the Core Flame Evocation realm!?”

  “Hm? Are you saying that this isn’t normal?” I asked her with my head cocked to the side.

  “Of course it isn’t norma-”

  “Hold that thought,” as much as I love learning about things that I’ve apparently broken the limits of, the embarrassment of pandas outside was making it real hard to concentrate on what she was saying.

  Oh, by the way, did you know that a group of pandas is called an embarrassment? Like seriously, they’re referred to as an embarrassment of pandas. It’s almost like my last world knew something about what was going on with those raging black and white balls of frenzied hormones.

  “We need to get rid of our guests first, so get to it,” I told her after some time.

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  She paled in fright as I said this, “Don’t tell me they’re alrea-”

  “Breathing down on our necks like the strange uncle they are? That’s because they are. Quite frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t expect them any sooner considering how fast we’ve been moving with the Donkey equivalent of the flash outside.,” I said to her. I was a bit surprised how peacefully she was having a conversation with me what with all that’s happening.

  “How close are we talking h-”

  “Awoooo!”

  “Pandas in the distance!”

  We could hear Feng Yu’s shout from outside. With that being the case, the carriage stopped and Yaomu Shou and the other quickly disembarked.

  They decided that they couldn’t keep going as the pandas that were incoming used their bodies to create what could only be described as a giant moving wall, and the Super Donkeys weren’t strong enough to get through, their only redeemable qualities were their speed.

  As everyone got off, I leaned against the carriage opening and watched how everyone lined up.

  As I watched them getting closer, I couldn’t help but ask, “Are there only men among them?”

  “No,” Yaomu Shou responded, keeping her eyes on the horde as she tightened her grip on the sword.

  “Then… do the women, y’kno… rape too?” don’t question my thought process. You can’t tell me you’re not curious about the whole thing.

  “Yes, yes they do,” Yaomu Shou responded.

  “Which ones are the women?” I could see them now clearly with my own eyes.

  Seconds before the horde arrived, she replied, “The extra veiny ones.”

  “Here they come. Everyone, I’m sure you know about pandas already. They’re evil and vile and they use their numbers to overwhelm people. Use your speed to overwhelm them and their weak spot is… well… you know.”

  After Yaomu Shou’s quick speech, it dawned on me that Feng Yu apparently knew about the pandas even though she and the others didn’t leave the village much. It seemed as if the reputation of these pandas greatly preceded them.

  As my thoughts wandered, the first panda that arrived veered towards Tie Lang. Seeing his wolf-ears and small fangs, its eyes reddened as it roared towards him in a dead charge.

  “Fuuurrraaaaaaahh!”

  ‘Did that pandas just roar the term furry?’ I thought to myself.

  The Panda came before Tie Lang and overshadowed him. It was a hulking beast of a monster easily standing at an impressive height of 8ft. This was even though it moved around like a gorilla, meaning this wasn’t its full height.

  Tie Lang took action and didn’t waste time as he brandished his claws. He made sure his composure was kept and as soon as the panda let loose the first blow with its giant claws, Tie Lang spun to the right in a flash, narrowly missing the attack.

  After dodging the first blow the veins on his body wriggled as he drove the somatic essence in his body. I must comment that in this small area, there were veins for days.

  He ran to the side of the panda and released a flurry of slashes with his sharp claws!

  Sha! Sha! Sha!

  The slashes drew blood, but the wound wasn’t deep enough, these injuries were only superficial.

  “Focus more power on your attack! Use speed as a way to navigate around them and whatever you do, don’t let them grab you!” Yaomu Shou only offered this advice before she focused on her own panda.

  Yaomu Shou’s sword only flashed with a purple sword light before a head flew into the sky followed by a spring of blood that flew from the body before it fell with a thud.

  “My guess is right, that is the sword I thought it to be. Well, it’s not like she ever refused my guesses” my eyes narrowed as I stared at Yaomu Shou’s sword, and then on she herself. I knew who Yaomu Shou was on account of that sword alone. My question was, why was someone like her so hellbent on staying with me and why was she looking for me that day.

  As wayward thoughts filled my brain, I still kept my eyes on the battlefield. Yaomu Shou went through the battlefield like a reaper, cutting off the heads of any pandas that would use their numbers to overwhelm the others.

  Tie Lang’s panda was already bloody, but the wounds weren’t fatal. Because of Tie Lang’s constitution, his somatic essence is geared towards fueling his speed, with this in mind he circled around the panda to get to its back.

  The panda looked at him in fury! It was angry that this damned furry it chose inflicted such harm upon it while it couldn’t land a blow… or touch… of its own!

  A wave of attacks came Tie Lang’s way, but he dodged them all with his superior speed!

  As soon as he came to the back, he jumped and landed on the panda’s broad shoulders!

  “Tie Lang, what are you do-” Yaomu Shou rushed over from a fresh kill intending to save him should anything go wrong. These things were known to be the most efficient rapers in the world after all.

  However, before she could close, she only saw as Tie Lang, the moment he landed on the panda’s shoulders, gave the panda‘s neck a hug while his claws dug into the front.

  As the veins on his forehead bulged, he tore the claws through the flesh on its neck towards himself. It was a gory scene as blood spilled everywhere. Because of his position, the blood didn’t get on him, but the smell was especially strong.

  Tie Lang nimbly jumped off the panda as its large body fell to the ground.

  “Sweet mercy!” she yelled in spite of herself.

  Seeing that he was fine, however, Yaomu Shou soon released a sigh of relief. She didn’t want anyone here to be caught, as these accursed things’ intention is a fate worse than death!

  When she turned around and looked at everyone else, however, her eyes shrank in shock!