Chapter 1: What I Could Have Been

Panting and out of breath, a symphony of gunfire echoed in the background as I collapsed. Propping myself up wearily, my vision came in and out of focus as I tried to stay conscious.

"You just had to do it didn't you" I moaned to myself. "It was meant to be a covert mission... Emphasis on the 'Covert'. Not some 'running and gunning John Wick styled assault on a military base." Despite these self-directed complaints, my operation had been a success.

'Drop behind enemy lines solo; gather intel and documents alluding to the enemy's next move and then create a wide-scale distraction to allow for my comrades to storm and take the base from the ground.'

Unfortunately however, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I now sat, covered in my own blood, at the front of a body-littered control room. Blood leaked out of my gut as I winced in pain, accepting my fate, I sighed.

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"At least I went out in style".

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Some say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. For me however, only the fact that my life had been nothing but a hardship remained, leaving me regretting all of my past decisions. Growing up an orphan has its challenges, life just dragged me along without much thought

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I had nothing to live for but my country, not that it even mattered anymore.

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My loneliness paired with a thirst for understanding and information had led to me becoming a secret service agent, my acute attention to detail made me very successful at it. I had been on many operations such as this one, accomplishing them to a high degree of success.

I wondered how life could have been different had I not decided to join the army at eighteen, 'Maybe I'd be a writer' I pondered, 'I did always enjoy reading comics and books.' I inhaled for the last time, closing my eyes, slowly savouring the last bit of air this body would ever receive.

Upon my exhale, I was confronted with a vision of a life I could have lived. A life I didn't even know I wanted. A life that now, when it's too late, I know I did want. "fancy that". I mouthed condescendingly.

It was a vision of a quiet life in the mountains. Calm, serene, surrounded by lush green Pine-trees and crisp mountain air. I took a step forward, and a tear rolled down my cheek as I was absorbed by the world my brain created, a delusion, distracting me from passing.

This image of a perfect summer began to change to winter with each step I consequently took, and before I knew it, I found myself wading through thigh-high snow. The cold bit at my ears and nose, sharpening my senses. Time passed by as I battled through the elements, looking at my surroundings frost-tipped snowy trees replaced the forest that stood before and in the distance snow peaked tips of mountains extended beyond the horizon.

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This was where I'd be had I lived differently.

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'If you weren't left all alone.' came a voice in the back of my head,

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'No,' I replied, 'It's the life I could have had if I'd taken a moment to appreciate what I enjoy.'

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Ahead, through frosted breath, an old rustic cabin standing sturdily against the elements came into view. I knew immediately this was the house I built or should have built.  The Pinewood was smooth to the touch with grooves that showed It had been assembled by hand. Upon creaking the front door open slowly, a tingling sensation of the cold leaving my body filled me with warmth, which was matched by the smell of fresh coffee calming my senses.

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A perfect balance.

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The door shut behind me, the latch clicking as it slid into place. I strode into the Livingroom and found comfort sitting on the large leather sofa that faced the fireplace, I then closed my eyes listening to the soft crackling of embers, drifting off into a deep slumber.

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My eyes snapped open, it was morning. The ceiling told me that I was still in the cabin. I proceeded to roll over in bed, only to be startled by the sight of a woman. Dark brown hair was her only visible feature, scattered in perfect chaos across the bed, I gazed at this hair, reached out and let it flow through my fingers.

Again I wondered how life could have been different, the fact that I'd never followed my dreams haunted me as the last of my energy left my body. My eyes then shut again bringing me into the warm embrace of nothing that clasped its hands around my very being.

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What followed was what I can only describe as an emptiness. Within this expanse of black, it was warm. It was comforting, but there was nothing. No complex thoughts, absolutely nothing presented itself to me and a calm air of acceptance filled me.

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'Nothing matters any longer.' came the same voice

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After what, now looking back, was an eternity, a white spec of dust presented itself to me in the void, gradually moving closer and closer. As it drew nearer it came into focus, filling my vision.

This is when I realized It was not a spec of dust, but light. The light passed straight through me, and sent ripples throughout my body, blinding and enveloping me in the white noise that screamed into my ears.

I opened my eyes, and with no time to even begin to comprehend what was happening. The whiteness and ringing in my ears faded and I found myself looking up at the tearful face of a young woman.

She wore a green cardigan with a shoulder wide collar, a white shirt poked out from underneath this, its collar sticking up around her neck. A pair of deep green eyes matched this look well.

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Her face was pale, lightly freckled and good-looking, her cheeks were slightly red from what seemed to be the excessive crying and she had light brown hair, roughly shoulder length, that flowed disorderly around her head.

Shifting my focus over her shoulder, I saw the face of a man looking rather concerned. He, from a glance, was clearly in his early to mid-thirties, perhaps a little older than the woman. A dark head of hair and piercing cold grey eyes accompanied his expression. One of his hands reached out towards me and ruffled the top of my head gently, they were rough and covered in calluses. Looking up at him, he spoke to me, yet I couldn't understand what he was saying. Not even a recognition of the language, 'how odd'.

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A jerk of movement alerted me to my other surroundings, 'I'm being lifted..' Lifted!?' I exclaimed. I looked down only to see the floor far below me. 'why is everything so big?'

I began to struggle and writhe around, only to be greeted by a set of tiny hands that reached and flailed in front of me.

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Stunned, it took a moment for me to comprehend.

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I'm a baby?! Did I reincarnate? Where am I? were the questions that immediately arose. A wave of shock overcame me. Trying to calm down, I took a few deep steady breaths. Eventually, I came back to my senses. I took another stifled baby breath and composed myself.

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'There is no point worrying over this now, there is far too much to process, the best course of action is leaving this for tomorrow.' I reassured myself.

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Another twenty minutes or so passed as I was cuddled and chattered to by my new parents, and before I knew It, I found myself feeling very tired all of a sudden.

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I close my eyes

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'much better' I sighed. 'In this life, I swear to live to the fullest and enjoy myself with every ounce of my being' I promised myself 'hopefully I won't fall into my old ways. I must make the most of this opportunity I've been given.' beginning to drift off into a deep sleep. my thoughts faded, 'All I can do is try..'

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The next day the sound of birds chirping woke me. Looking up at the ceiling unable to move, all I could do was think.

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After what seemed like an eternity, my mother came and collected me changed my nappy and began showing me around the house.

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Over the next few hours, I managed to ascertain a small amount of information from this using my sharp attention to detail.

Firstly I'm a newborn. Presumably named Kharln. Or at least that's what I've deciphered from having had it repeated to my face throughout the afternoon.  My parents are called Aria and Arthur.

Secondly. I am in a rural area residing within a country of which's language I cannot even vaguely recognize.

Other notable information includes; an old man with a weird hat that visited to look at me. I'm unsure as to who he Is, maybe a grandfather? As well as a woman who I am assuming to be a maid that was here in the morning for what seemed like a few hours.

Other than this I have no real information.

In terms of surroundings, my cot is in a room on the top floor at the foot of my parents bed. The house, or more of a cottage, we live in, is old and made entirely out of wood. The walls in the kitchen are made of stone, and in some other areas on the ground floor are plastered.

Out of the window in the kitchen, I've had a glimpse of what I believe to be a garden or expanse of fields, with an old oak tree. From this, I can guess we are in a temperate forest climate or at least the fauna seen out the windows indicates towards this.

Our location is likely in the northern hemisphere as opposed to the southern from the way water drains down the sink. The smell of salt in the air also alludes to the fact we are a short distance from, a coastline. Other than this I haven't seen much else that gives me significant information about the whereabouts of my birth on the globe.

There is even the possibility, be it slim, this is not Earth, and like in the mangas I have read or like lord of the rings, I am some other place entirely. I highly doubt this but only time will tell.

The days passed from there on out with a strict regular schedule, trapped in my infantile body I could only watch as the world passed by.

On The Fourth day, I at least knew the layout of the house. The ground floor was comprised of a living area; kitchen; dining area; storage cupboard; and a bathing room. The first floor had two bedrooms; a study and a room with a bolted-shut door, which I had not yet seen opened. On the top floor was the master bedroom. Overall it's a small cosy cottage with nice furnishings and a homely warmth to it. 'quite the spot indeed' I affirmed.

Anyway, moving on, another fantastic discovery! I've noticed, due to the fact I am in such a young developmental state, that the rate at which I learn and absorb information is astounding even by my standards. I'm already beginning to understand the language my parents speak and can distinguish the words written and said when I am having stories read to me before bed. 'I need to make the most of this', 'learning languages while I'm young is a top priority.'

Whilst contemplating how I would manage to complete this task, being a prisoner to a high-sided barred cot, I had an epiphany. 'The Study!' I've only been in there once so far whilst being carried by my mother when she went to get a storybook to read to me.

I attempted to furrow my brow without much success, 'If I remember correctly there was a large bookcase, maybe I can learn more about where I am if I can access it..' in an attempt to visualize the room, I imagined the small space that included a desk with an assortment of papers, quills and ink. ('I am glad to know my parents aren't illiterate, no offence meant) Next to this was a small well-placed window that gave it all a good amount of sunlight during the day.

'As soon as I can move freely I must find a way to get time alone to read in that room.'

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