Chapter 1: Chapter 0a

At least  I died before getting Anime PTSD. 

Chapter 0

I am one of those guys who likes to set ranks for everything happening in their lives. Be it food , seasons of the year, people or T-shirts, they've to be placed on my list of likes/dislikes.

It's not OCD ! I can ignore my quirk sometimes, I believe so.

For me, it's my best trait, which helps to set your goals and priorities clearly. But for people beside me, it's just… haaaah. 

Whatever. Have you ever questioned yourself which places are best to watch TV ? Answers to that come easily - it may be your house, favorite cafe, or bar. And the worst place ? In my humble opinion, it's a courtroom.

That's where am I right now.

—---------------------------

Somewhere between heaven and hell.

Gray skinned man with partially broken horns sticking out of his green hair takes a deep breath, before continuing his speech. 

"So , while her adepts are guilty of killing my client , she , a mid-level deity tries to mess up with his circle of reincarnation. Moreover, it's already the 46739th case of her misconduct. Your Honor , for God's sake, for how long this abomination will run amock ?"

 It's funny isn't it , demon while appealing to judges, mentioned God. But I'm not laughing because this man , judging by his blue suit , is a prosecutor working on my case . I'm playing the role of the victim by the way.

Opposite of us , sits a woman clothed in ripped jeans and a hoodie with cartoon print . Her acidily pink colored hair , thick-rimmed glasses and unhealthy skin color of her face covered in pimples do a good job for destroying the image of the so-called mid-level deity. If any parent had a daughter like that , they would be disappointed for sure. 

And this bit… ahem , woman is patron of a bunch of sick bastards , which are responsible for me being here.

Her disgustingly sweet voice sounds around the room.

"Otaku-sama-chan is innocent , okay 

~. And my kouhais~, I mean followers are innocent too. They just wanted to let him know a little bit about our religion, and our culture.Otaku-sama-chan has got to say that my kids didn't kill this prick, it was the policemen . Otaku-sama-chan has evidence , please play it on display."

[Video tape 1.68. A]

"Breaking news!

You are reading story At least I died before getting Anime PTSD at novel35.com

Finally , after four months of investigation our glorious policemen have destroyed a group of cartoon fanatics. As we all know they are responsible for the recent massacre at Bolumbine university and kidnapping of Andrew Moriarty. For more details let's switch to our correspondent Sindy . Sindy do you hear us ? "

" Loud and clear Jessica. "

"So how is the situation on the scene ? Have BPD given their statement ?"

"Not yet Jess , but were able to interview one of the special force soldiers. From his words it was the most chaotic and scary operation of his life . As a result of fierce resistance, I'm  not afraid to use the word  "cultists" half of the first strike force squad are dead . After that other groups were given orders to kill on sight . In the end, from his words, the aforementioned criminal group is eradicated. "

" Sindy , any info about the kidnapped student ? "

" No Jessica , the police are still searching for hidden rooms or a basement inside the villa. Wait a minute , something happening there . There are shots . Someone screaming ! Jeff move the cam ! "

" ZOMG TEH REI!!! "

*BOOOOM*

[End of video tape]

"Your honor .." Demon tried to comment video but everyone's attention was on me. Why ?

"Zomg teh rei… Omedeto Shinji , omedeto…Kaiji was killed by watermelons, because only Ikari Gendo can walk inside the base unshaved…"

Well, a mumbling human soul, clutching its head is a very eye-catching sight.While judges and prosecutor are stunned by my reaction, one particular bitch throws at me crumpled paper.That was enough to get me out of flashbacks.

"Every single missile hit the target! " she says.

Do you now understand that I'm perfectly justified for cursing her ?

"Ahem!" Demon brings back attention to himself. "This video proves nothing , your honor"

"Otaku-sama-chan has more videos , it's just the first episode , the pilot. Please play the next one."

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