Chapter 16: Chapter 16 – Fairies are rude

CHAPTER 16

Tents, wagons, and people of all shapes and sizes adorned the countryside in front of Stonerock Dungeon. The scene reminded me of a busy base camp at the bottom of Mount Everest full of climbers and Sherpas waiting their turn to ascend. The entryway was a large stone door on the mountain's side. 

A sign stood on the path to the camp which said:

Stonerock Dungeon 

No License No Entry No Exceptions!

You must register upon arrival. Anyone who does not register will be considered a trespasser and removed from the premises immediately. 

“Do you have a license?” I asked the kitsune.

“No, I’m only a C-rank healer right now. No party wants a sub-B-rank healer to go in with them.”

“I saw you heal Betty. You can heal just fine.”

“Thank you, but I’m not what people would all Combat Healer.”

“Yeah, I get it. If you get a license, you can be my healer. How does that sound?”

Koshiro’s eyes filled with tears. Just leaped into my arms before the levy broke.

“Hey what’s all this crying about? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, you always say everything right. You’re so nice to me,” Koshiro sniffled.

I rubbed her back and broke the embrace. “You’re easy to be nice to.”

We reached a tent labeled registrar and entered, finding a small blonde lady with gorgeous blue-green wings. She looked at me and my furry companion like we were roaches that she wanted to squish immediately.

“License please,” the fairy demanded gruffly.

I handed her my golden ticket that would get me a tour of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. The fairy rudely snatched it from my hands. She analyzed it with a look of profound disdain.  Her eyes widened and jaw opened after she processed my information.  She looked at me and furrowed her blonde eyebrows.  “Is this some kind of joke?  A counterfeit maybe?  No one has a license this good.”

Koshiro leaned over the desk of the fairy angrily.  “Are you calling my Chad a liar?  Bitch, look at the seal on the back.  This license is one hundred percent official.”

The fairy jolted backward, clearly surprised by the kitsune’s outburst. The fairly flipped the license over and held it close to her blue eyes.  She pulled out a magnifying glass from her drawer and analyzed the seal closely.

“Really? A magnifying glass?  Are you fucking kidding me?” Koshiro scoffed.

After a few seconds of investigation from the Scotland Yard detective, she nodded and shrugged.  “It appears to be legit.”

The kitsune slammed her fist on the wood. “Damn right it is. Now apologize to my Chad!”

I held up my right hand and shook my head quickly.  “That’s unnecessary.”

“Yes, it is necessary!  You don’t deserve that bullshit!”  Koshiro exclaimed, keeping her eyes locked on the eyes of the fairy registrar.

The fairy held up both hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!  You’re good to go.”

I gave an awkward smile and placed my hands on my companion’s bare shoulders that had shockingly soft skin.  I pulled her away from the table and patted her skin lightly. “It’s okay Koshiro, cool it.”

I looked at the fairy and back toward the dungeon entrance.  “So what now?”

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“Umm, you can basically do whatever you want.  You can go in whenever you want and however many times you want.  You don’t even have to stop at the loot taxing tent on your way home… wherever that is.”

Koshiro crossed her arms under her massive chest, pushing her breasts upward, almost touching her perfectly shaped chin. “We’re from Summerstar.  Don’t you see that on the license?  You’re surprisingly dumb at your job.”

“Is there a problem here?”  asked a massive human male with a club attached to his belt.

“Yes, this fairy was questioning the integrity of my Chad here.  Can you believe that?”

The man must have been an employee working as a security guard or something.  He looked at the fairy and motioned for her to speak.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes, this man has been checked in.  There was just a misunderstanding.”

“Psh,” scoffed the kitsune.

“Chill,” I whispered in Koshiro’s fluffy ear. The sudden touch of my breath caused her ear to flutter.

The fairy lifted her arm in a quick motion with the license in her grasp. “Take a look at his license.  I think you’ll see why I was a bit surprised.”

The man looked at the license, then back at me, and nodded.  “This is impressive, no doubt.  I’ll make sure they store your information in the arcane roster so you will not have to go through this process again.  You’ll get a permanent stamp on your wrist that you can show and the dungeon guards whenever you wish to enter.”

“A permanent stamp?  I don’t want to be marked permanently,”  I responded.

“This must be your first time entering a dungeon.  The stamp is invisible.  When you stand at the arcane gate, the stamp will reveal itself to the entry guards, then go away once they confirm.  Relax.”

Koshiro tenderly rubbed my arm. “Yeah, it’s fine.  I forgot to mention that.”

“Alright, sounds good to me. However, what happens if I go to other dungeons?  I only have two wrists to stamp.”

“No worries, you could get millions of stamps in the same spot.  It won’t matter.  The correct stamp will reveal itself when the time comes,” the man replied.

I nodded, saying nothing.

“So, do you want to do a dungeon run today?  By the looks of your attire, I’m going to wager the answer is a no,”  the man looked all over me. “I don’t see a weapon either.”

“I don’t have any armor or weapons, so I guess I’ll just go in like this.  I’ll probably remove my shirt.  I don’t want it to get bloody.  Shit, I’m going to mess my pants up, but I don’t think people want to see me waltzing through the dungeon naked just so I can keep my clothes clean.”

Koshiro giggled.  “I would like that very much.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to go in there with no gear at all.  I know you’re S rank, but,” the man trailed off.

I shrugged.  “I’ll be fine.  I’m sure I’ll loot a weapon of some sort.  I’ll use it if I need it. Come to think of it, I will definitely use it.  My arms got pretty bloody when I killed that orc yesterday.”

The man’s eyes widened.  “Are you the guy that took the Big down?  An adventurer dropped by last night and told several people that some guy in Summerstar killed Bubba Franks.”

“Guilty as charged, I’m afraid,” I replied with an uncomfortable grin.

Koshiro put her hands on her voluptuous hips and cocked her head to the side. “My Chad put an end to those bastards in a matter of minutes.  He’s amazing.  You guys need to treat him like the hero that he is.  You’re lucky he’s here.  This guy is a fucking legend in the making.”

I choked on the air I breathed.  “I don’t know about all of that.”

“Don’t be modest.”

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