Barbarian Chef

Chapter 2: Chapter 2 – Gamer girls are the best


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Chapter 2

“Come on. Let’s go raid the Black Abyss. It’s supposed to be so cool with a giant dragon boss at the end. The dragon’s loot drop rate is supposed to be increased for the next 48 hours. My rogue could use the Abyss Dagger of Death. What do you say?” Fred asked through Discord.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Dude, I don’t have time to raid. I’m about to hit level 100 in Leatherworking. That’s been a bitch to level, and I’m ready to be done.”

“Shit man, all you do is craft, cook, or mix potions. Dungeons and raids are what make this game fun!”

“I’m having a ton of fun, thank you very much. I’m busy creating an empire. I kill shit, sometimes.”

“You only kill shit when you want to craft something. You want skin or some other kind of material. I’m sure there is value for your crafting empire in that raid.”

I laughed through my headset. “Dude, I’ve researched this raid up and down on the internet. There’s nothing helpful to me in that raid. It’s a waste of time for me. Time is money in my line of business.”

“I need that dagger, man! Quit being a little bitch and go with me.”

“Fred, I can craft you a dagger with the same stats as the raid one. I’ll even give you the best friend discount.”

“Maybe so, but it won’t look as cool and sound as cool. Other games won’t be in awe of my freaking awesomeness when I stroll into town.”

I chuckled as I moved my level 120 gnome around my crafting table. “Suit yourself. Hell, I’ll craft you one right now for zero gold if you’ll go to the Ice Caverns and get me 15 ice wolf hides. That will save me the aggravation of heading out there myself.”

“God forbid you have to kill something, Chad.”

“Are you gonna do it or not?” I asked with a loud sigh in the mic.

“Ugh, alright. You better have my dagger ready when I get back. Otherwise I’ll announce to everyone in town that you are into midget porn,” Fred’s drow rogue shook his fist and headed out of town.

“I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave,” I teased.

“Kiss my ass!” Fred whined.

******

I finished refining the raw skins that I had in my inventory. I was waiting for Fred to deliver the ice wolf pelts I needed. After I refine the hides and craft a marvellous piece of Ice Wolf Armor that has 75% Cold Resistance, I’ll hit level 100 in the profession. This gear is perfect for the Black Abyss raid and other gamers will pay top dollar for it. Cha-ching.

“Hey, Chad. Do you have my gauntlets done yet? It’s taking you forever. I may have to take my business elsewhere,” teased a sarcastic female voice.

My heart skipped a beat when I recognized Dana’s voice coming through my headset.  Dana was a gamer girl that I had a crush on. She worked with me and Fred. Dana was laid off as well.  She was a goth girl and gamer girl combo, so you can imagine the hotness overload that emitted from her.  She had anime tattoos which make her even more cool.  The Dragon Ball tattoo sleeve on her right arm cemented my love for this girl.  Unfortunately, my girl repellent ass became “friend-zoned” in record time with Dana.  Getting out of the friend-zone was almost an impossible task. I’m was determined to try, but… yeah.

“Ha, I have it right here, thank you very much,” I dropped the gear in front of her and performed a “bow” emote.

“Sick!  Thank you so much.  Let me send you the gold. Hold on.”

“It’s on the house.  I had an overstock of the materials for the gauntlets.  Freeing space up is payment enough… not to mention letting me borrow your manga all the time.”

“Aww, thank you so much.  Are you sure though?  I feel like I’m taking advantage.”

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“Not at all.  I’m glad to help.  So what are you up to?  Fred is whining about raiding the Black Abyss.  I can’t go. Maybe you can help him out.”

“Ooooh, it gives me a wonderful opportunity to use my new gauntlets.”

A stab of jealousy pierced my gut at the thought of her going on a raid with Fred alone.  “He’ll be thrilled.  He’s running an errand for me right now, but he should be back at any minute.”  I was confident that Fred had a crush on Dana as well, but he kept it closer to the chest than me.

“Running errands for you?  That’s hilarious.”

“Yeah, I’m going to max out leatherworking tonight, then craft a few other pieces of gear to go to the auction house, which should bring in more gold.”

“Like you need more gold, you’re the richest guy on the server.  Heck, you may be the richest guy in the entire game.  Well, a legitimate rich guy… I know there are hackers with trillions of gold.  How much do you have?”

“That’s personal, goofball!” I chuckled, “I’ll never tell.”

“Blah, you’re no fun… no fun at all,” Dana replied using a head shaking emote.

Dana and Fred headed off to the raid soon after, leaving me tanning my new ice wolf pelts.  I’m not sure why I was down in the dumps.  I could have gone with them.  Shit, I’ve not raided in so long I would embarrass myself.  I have top tier gear that I’ve crafted that I could wear, but I’d still embarrass myself in front of Dana.  Screw that. A few seconds after my mental hissy fit, a notification popped up that I’d been waiting for.

Congratulations! You have reached Level 100 in Leatherworking!

You have earned the banner that will flex your accomplishment to all the land!

In the upcoming expansion, Arcane Explosion Overdrive, the profession level cap will increase to 120.

I rasberried my tongue and shook my head.  “Of course it will.  FFO has to keep that carrot dangling in front of the fanbase.”

What else did I have to do in life, anyway?

My smartphone startled me as it rung on my desk beside my keyboard.  Who the hell would call me?  Only psychopaths actually call somebody today. Text messaging is the proper communication now.  I don’t want to talk to anyone.

Incoming Call

Unknown

999-999-9999

What the hell kind of phone number was that? It’s probably one of those automated scammer calls telling me that my car warranty had expired, and I needed to buy a new fictitious one from them.  Well, guess what? I don’t have a car.  The odd phone number intrigued me, so I answered.

“Hello,” I said solemnly.

An ear piercing buzzing sound followed by a bright flash greeted me, then complete darkness.

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