Chapter 25: Chapter 24 – Blue Waffle

CHAPTER 24

“Holy shit, people have already lined up,” Koshiro announced as she peeked out the window.

My eyes widened. “Really? How many?” 

“Four.”

“Four?  You made it sound like there was a lot more,” Muni scoffed.

Koshiro rolled her eyes.  “Four people in line is pretty great!  Have you had people line up before?  No, you haven’t!  The only way we could get a line before is to tell people you would give them a free blow job.”

“Christ, they can probably hear you,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Right,” Koshiro replied nonchalantly and moved away from the door.

“Well, Koshiro, I’m sure my line would be a hell of a lot longer than yours!”

“Yeah right.  I’m a good dick sucker.  Isn’t that right, Chad?” Koshiro asked with a scowl on her face.

My cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.  I gave the invisible mouth zipping gesture to let both of the girls know to be quiet.  “Just flip the sign to ‘Open’ and unlock the door.”

The locking mechanism clicked, and Koshiro pulled the door open.  “Welcome to New Beginnings! Have a seat wherever you like.  A waitress will be with you shortly.”

Our first two guests were an older couple.  The man had a pleasant smile on his face, but the woman had a look of disdain. She didn’t look convinced that we knew what we were doing.    The other patrons looked to be adventurers getting an early start.  The man was dressed in light leather armor.  He had a dagger sheathed on his belt on both sides.  He had to be a rogue or assassin class.  The woman that he was with wore a dark purple robe and held a wand in her hand.  She was some sort of magic class, without a doubt.

I stood in the kitchen along with Claire, awaiting the first order of the day. Koshiro waited on the older couple while Muni assisted the adventurers. After nodding a few times and writing their orders on the little pad, she darted to the kitchen excitedly and handed me the order.  “Here you go boss, first order ever!  It’s that weird breakfast food that I’d never heard of before.  What did you call it?”

“Waffles,” I replied as I held the slip of paper in my hand.

“Yeah, that’s it.  Rather odd name, don’t you think?  Well, whatever it is, each of them wants it.  They also want apple juice to drink.  Can you get that, Claire?”

“Yes, I’m on it!” Claire darted to the arcane cooler and pulled out a large pitcher of amber colored apple juice.  She retrieved two glasses from the cabinet and poured the sweet smelling juice into the crystal clear glass. “Here you go!”

Koshiro grabbed the glasses and delivered them to the table.  I was eager to see if the couple liked the apple juice.  I put a couple of other ingredients to give some additional flavor—lemon juice and ginger.  After their first sip, they each looked at the glass, then smiled at each other.  I gave a tiny fist pump and headed over to the oven to begin the waffles.  I needed to get a move on because the adventurers were fixing to send their order in with Muni.  This world had no such thing as waffles, thus there were no waffle makers to purchase for the kitchen.  I solved that problem by making a sketch of what I was looking for, and I took it to the blacksmith a few doors down. He gave the drawing some odd looks, but two days later, I had a picture perfect waffle maker in my possession.  I would power the waffle maker on the top of one of the new arcane ovens.  The oven would share its arcane power through the top.  The energy traveled from the oven into the waffle maker with some kind of magic osmosis process.  I instructed Claire to be my helper in the kitchen instead of a waitress.  She would grab any utensils, pots, pans, ingredients, or any other thing I needed to do my job.  She spent a few hours the day before familiarizing herself where everything was.  Today, we would see if she truly paid attention.

Chad’s Holstaur Milk Waffle Recipe

2 eggs

2 cups flour

1 ¾ cups holstaur milk

½ cup vegetable oil

1 tablespoon sugar

4 teaspoons baking powder

¼ teaspoon sea salt

½ teaspoon vanilla 

Pinch of cinnamon

Pinch of brown sugar

Claire provided the special ingredient, holstaur milk.  From what I’d learned since I arrived, holstaur milk was a precious item to have in your kitchen.  Luckily, I had an employee that could produce it whenever she wanted.  I quickly tossed in all the ingredients in the iron bowl in preparation for mixing.

“Chad, go ahead and make more of the waffle mix.  The adventurers placed an order for the waffles as well,” Muni advised.

“Okay, sounds good.”

I grabbed more of the ingredients and threw them on top of the others already in the bowl. Once everything was in the iron bowl, I began mixing at a lightning fast rate of speed.  My right arm became a blur, creating the most perfect waffle batter the world had ever seen.

Claire gasped at the sight. “Holy crap, that was fast.”

I heated the iron waffle maker to the correct temperature to get the perfect waffle.  The sizzle of the batter hitting the hot iron filled my ears.  I held the top iron down on the bottom for about 15 seconds and lifted.  The waffle maker cooked much faster than I expected.  I was worried that it wouldn’t absorb enough of the arcane energy from the oven below it.  I was wrong.  The waffle came out perfect.  I rinsed and repeated until I had four large waffles ready to go.

“Don’t forget the Blood Sassafrass Syrup,” I instructed.

There were no maple trees anywhere in the region, so I didn’t have access to good old-fashioned maple syrup, so I had to improvise.  Blood Sassafras syrup sounded kind of nasty, but it was an excellent placeholder until I could get some proper maple syrup.  I put it on the list of things for Betty to look for on her travels.

I looked out the kitchen doorway like a creepy peeping tom watching a hot teenage girl changing clothes in her bedroom.

In seconds, the dining room filled with quiet moans.  My waffles appeared to be a hit with our initial customers.

“The adventurers loved the waffles and said they would be back.  They also said they would tell all their friends camped at the dungeon about them,” Muni relayed with a smile.

“Yeah, the old people really liked them, too.  Especially the old woman. This is kind of gross, but she looked like she was having a special moment with these waffles.  I don’t know if old vaginas get wet, but if they do, hers definitely was,” Koshiro said.

I chuckled at my little kitsune girl.  “You never know what is going to come out of Koshiro’s mouth.”

“Well, I like it when a certain barbarian’s cum shoots IN my mouth.  See what I did there, Muni?”

Muni rewarded Koshiro with an eye roll and sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, it wasn’t very subtle.”

“I would also like to take a moment to thank Claire’s milk jug tatas for providing Chad with the milk to make his holstaur waffles or whatever they’re called,” Koshiro winked.

I rubbed the holstaur’s back.  “Yes, thank you for your help.  We won’t serve the holstaur dishes every day.  I don’t want to use you like you are some kind of livestock.”

“It’s fine. I produce a lot of milk and if I don’t have anywhere for it to go, I hurt really bad. My boobs get so engorged and sore.”

“So milking yourself is kind of like masturbating?  That’s what I’ve heard about the holstaur species.  Is that true?” Koshiro asked as she leaned on the counter.

“Actually, you aren’t far off.  It is a tremendous release when we empty our breasts,” Claire replied.

Koshiro stuck out her bottom lip. “Gods, I wish I could milk myself, too.”

“You can milk yourself.  You just need to have a baby,” Muni stated.

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“That’s right.  Hey Chad, do you want to have a baby?”

I dropped a couple of glasses onto the floor, shattering them everywhere.  “Fuck!”

“I’m just kidding with you… for now, at least.  I want some little Chads and Chaddettes running around, eventually. I hope you want the same! You do, right?  Of course you do! Why would I even think otherwise?”

“Koshiro, I just want to cook some food right now.  We can talk about you getting knocked up after hours… okay?”

“Fair enough. Oh look, there are more customers.  I got them, toodles,” Koshiro replied as she darted out of the kitchen.  I could hear her say, “Welcome to New Beginnings. What can I get for you?”

“Chad, Koshiro just looked at me and mouthed more waffles,” Muni relayed.

“More?  Well, damn.  These things are on point evidently,” I replied happily.

“Pretty much everything you cook is on point.  You should know that by now, bonehead,” Muni replied.

“Look who’s calling me names. Maybe I need to pop you on the fanny to get you back in line,” I motioned as if I was going to slap her ass.”

“I like pops on the fanny,” Claire interjected.  “Shit, did I say that out loud?”

I chuckled as I mixed up another batch of waffle batter.  “You definitely said it out loud.  Guess what ladies, I have plenty of ass slaps to pass around to whoever wants them. I’m a S rank ass slapper.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Muni winked as she pinched my oversized bicep.  The catgirl swayed her hips as she sauntered back into the dining area to seat some new arrivals.  These waitress uniforms were definitely a good idea.  These girls looked amazing in them.

******

Half the day was gone, and if I never cooked another waffle in my life, it would be too soon.  When lunch time came around, patrons were asking for the hamburgers they heard so much about from the mayor’s daughter’s birthday party.  The morning was the era of the waffle, and the afternoon was the era of the hamburger. There were a lot of great items on the menu, but most everyone ignored them and wanted a waffle or a hamburger.  I had the crazy idea to blow everyone’s mind and slap a hamburger patty between two waffles and call it Chad’s S-Rank Waffle Burger.  At first the idea seemed ridiculous, but I was really thinking about trying it.  

We had a steady stream of customers throughout the day.  Muni and Koshiro were able to handle the traffic in the dining room masterfully.  Claire was a little awkward to begin with in the kitchen, but she came around quickly.  Things went so much more smoothly when I had someone to get me the supplies I needed.  All I had to do was cook, and I cooked my ass off all day long.  Our intention was to serve a fancier meal at supper as well, but I was exhausted.  I told the girls to flip the sign over to ‘closed’.  All four of us plopped into chairs and exhaled loudly.  I wondered if the sudden influx of carbon dioxide in the room would kill us all. 

Koshiro yawned and stretched back into her chair. “I’m so freaking tired.”

“Me too.  It was a good day.  All three of you were amazing,” I complimented.

“You cooked the food.  We just took it to the customers.  You’re the one that’s amazing.  Who would have thought something called a waffle would be such a hit,” Muni pondered.

“Maybe we should change the name of the restaurant to the waffle house,” Koshiro suggested sarcastically.

I burst out in laughter, much to the surprise of my friends.  They looked at me like I was a crazy person.

“Waffle House?  It’s funny,” I said.

Muni chuckled.  “It’s not that funny.”

“Pah, it’s totally funny.  Wasn’t it Claire?” Koshiro asked.

Claire looked like she didn’t want to answer. “Well, I don’t get it.”

“Thank you….thank you Claire,” Muni cheered.

Koshiro scowled and crossed her arms. “Screw you bitches.”

“It was funny to me because there is a popular restaurant chain on Earth called Waffle House.”

“Okay, I get it now.  It was a joke that would only be funny to Earth people,” Claire added.

“Makes total sense now,” Muni said as she leaned further back in her chair, almost tipping over.  “Whoa, that was close.”

“Serves you right,” Koshiro pouted.

I stood and clapped my hands. “Girls, cheer up!  We had a kick ass first day!  What do you want to do to celebrate?” 

“Sleep,” Muni deadpanned. 

Claire yawned. “Agreed.”

I turned to Koshiro for her suggestion.  She still had a furrowed brow and red cheeks.  

I patted her on the thigh. “Koshiro? What do you want to do?” 

“I think we should just hang out on the roof, maybe.  If these girls play nice, of course!”

Muni and Claire giggled.  “We will,” they both said simultaneously.

“Well, let’s do it,” I said.

Koshiro raised her hand. “I have a suggestion, Chad.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“So, people like your waffles, right?”

“They seem to.  We sold a lot of them.”

“You call them Chad’s Holstaur Milk Waffles… right?”

“Yep.  Where are you going with this?” 

“Your hair is blue, which is gorgeous, by the way, why don’t you use some coloring and make the waffles blue,”  Koshiro suggested with a grin.

I burst into laughter again. “Blue Waffle?”  

“Yeah, your hair is blue, and these are supposed to be your special creations, so make the fucking waffles blue like your hair!  It’s clever and cute! It’s a good idea!”

“I won’t go into detail, but the term ‘Blue Waffle’ means something really disgusting on Earth.  I’ll just leave it at that.  I’m not laughing at you, I’m sorry.  I actually love the idea.  I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you! I helped!” Koshiro kissed me on the cheek and stuck her tongue out at the girls.

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