Chapter 6: 2.10

Chapter 2: Great things are not done by impulse, but a series of small things brought together.

 

Part 10

 

 

It was a few days later when the agony ended.

 

My eyes opened wide when I saw the name displayed on the notification.

 

“Hello? Utako? Thank god! I was worried, you know?!”

 

–“You mist be komiya, richt? Cheers fur aye taking care o’ mah daughter. I’m kashii utako’s mother.”

[TN:You must be Komiya, right? Thanks for always taking care of my daughter. I’m Kashii Utako’s mother.] 

 

At the unexpected turn of events, my heart squeezed. A voice much lower and way more intimidating than what I had expected answered. Then I remembered her face, a middle-aged woman with noticeable dark circles around her eyes. I had seen her only once when Utako moved away, but I guessed it stuck in my mind.

 

“Y-yes, my name is Komiya Sousuke. It’s a pleasure to talk to you.”

 

–“Haud oan, I’ll pat ye oan speaker… A–, hear me? Aah, fur keeping her company, that mist be ye. Cheers a lot. Weel, didn’t ask ye tae”

[TN: Hold on, I’ll put you on speaker… A–, hear me? Aah, for keeping her company, that must be you. Thanks a lot. Well, didn’t ask you to ]

 

Her accented Kansai was enough to show her hostility. I knew it was over the phone, but I stood up, bowed, and replied as politely as I could. 

[TN: Btw, I localize Kansai by using Scottish]

 

“I don’t want to be estranged from her, so I keep in touch with her. I am terribly sorry if that caused you any discomfort.”

 

–“Komiya-kun…, I’m sorry bit cuid ye forgoat aboot her awready? Ta fur bein’ a guid mukker tae her even though ’twas ainlie fur a short time. Bit don’t contact us in th’ future, ever. Farewell. ” 

[TN: Komiya-kun…, I’m sorry but could you forget about her already? Thank you for being a good friend to her even though it was only for a short time. But don’t contact us in the future, ever. Farewell. ]

 

I couldn’t believe my ears. That word of farewell rang in my head. Still failing to interpret its meaning, my mouth moved.

 

“Please wait a minute!” 

 

I then heard a rustle on the other end. Utako’s faraway voice conveyed confusion.

 

Her mother seemed to want to hang up immediately without wasting even another second. It appeared that her mother’s unreasonable hate of me ran deep, but not Utako herself. If that’s so, then I won’t back down.

 

“Please let me talk to her.”

 

She let out a vexing sigh, as if she knew I would say that. –“Haven’t ye awready?”

 

“Isn’t that your one-sided words? Excuse me, but I think you’ve been forcing yourself on Utako-san since a while ago. Your child is not a property–”

 

–“Says a bairn? Wha dae ye think yer talking tae, bein’ a’ heich ‘n’ mighty?! This’s how come men fae some countryside ur juist frogs in a weel! Men lik’ ye won’t accomplish anythin’! Gang bide yer lee in yer countryside, hook up wi’ boring wummin, ‘n’ bide yer glaikit lee!”

[TN: Says a child? Who do you think you are talking to, being all high and mighty?! This is why men from some countryside are just frogs in a well! Men like you won’t accomplish anything! Go live your life in your countryside, hook up with boring women, and live your stupid life! ]

 

My earlier remark was rude, all things considered. However, I was astonished, bewildered, and terrified by how she turned on her heels and came at me at full force just because of that remark. With sharp verbal blades lunging at the slightest resistance, how could a child grow up in such an environment? It was as if I had taken a glimpse of how Utako was raised.

 

–“Mom, please. I want to say goodbye to Sou-chan for the last time. It will be over soon. Please.” Utako’s voice echoed in my ears. So far, she had only raised her voice in confusion, this was the first time she had said something. After her mother had ranted and raved, she supn words of her own.

 

–“…On th’ condition that ye won’t contact him again. Fifteen minutes. Yer maw wull be in th’ living room. Ower time ‘n’ i’ll be richt back tae hing up fur ye. Clear?”

[TN: …On the condition that you won’t contact him again. Fifteen minutes. Your mom will be in the living room. Over time and I’ll be right back to hang up for you. Clear? ]

 

No more contact? Fifteen minutes? I was about to complain, but hesitated when Utako immediately said –“Yes I understand.” 

 

Was that fine with you, Utako? Saying goodbye to me wasn’t a big deal? I bit my lips as I listened to her mother’s footsteps retreating into the distance.

 

–“Sorry, Sou-chan…”

 

Her sincere apologizing voice reminded me that this wasn’t the time to be grieving. She had summoned up all her courage against her mother and made time for me. This fifteen minutes, short though it was.

 

–“My mom’s a bit– no, quite hysterical. She can get very aggressive when offended even in the slightest. I’m sorry you have to hear something like that.”

 

“N-no. I’m fine. I was just a bit overwhelmed… But she did listen to your request, and I was in the wrong earlier, so she might just be very protective.”

 

–“Thank you for your consideration. But I don’t want to waste time talking about this stuff, so can we cut to the chase. We only got fifteen minutes, so…”

 

With “this is the last time” hanging in the air, I have countless things I wanted to say, even more I want to ask. It was painful to leave her, heartbreaking to say goodbye, my heart throbbed.

 

“What did she mean by that? Have I done something wrong?” The question I wanted her to deny the most, I asked it.

 

–“Before that…I want to apologize for something first. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you when you contacted me. I know it’s an excuse, but my phone was confiscated and…”

 

“No, whatever with that, I’m glad you’re safe. I was so worried about you, you know,” I assured her.

 

–“I got to watch the Fishermen, you know. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you two moving, brings back memories,” she laughed weakly, “I love you two, seeing you reminds me of that.”

 

Of us being on TV, that was a normal conversation topic, but I had a queasy feeling. For her to broach the subject in such a short time, the problem must have been there.

You are reading story Blue Outline at novel35.com

 

–“When I was in fourth grade, my parents got divorced… That made mom crazy. She thinks that if I do anything even remotely attention-grabbing or appear on my friends’s social networking sites, my dad will find me…and kidnap me.”

 

When she suddenly revealed her household situation, I ought to give her some response, yet I can’t move my mouth.

 

–“That’s why mom keeps tabs on me, searching hashtags and my name. Even a single picture means moving again. She won’t even listen to my pleas.”

 

The way she talked about it, how verbose she was, the more I listened, the more it reminded me of her face when she was talking about stars. It was painful, my precious memory being overwritten by a painful one. The urge to cover my ears was terrible. 

 

She broke off her speech once and then laughed powerlessly. 

 

–“I have been actively keeping myself as inconspicuous as possible ever since. That’s why I start to blush immediately when the attention is directed at me. I also stopped making friends, it would just make me lonlier when moved anyway,” she explained.

 

“I…see… So that’s why she said that. So it was because we talked about you…I’m really, really sorry…I…” I clenched my fists.

 

–“No, it’s my fault! If…if I had been stronger, if I had had the courage to stand against mom, it wouldn’t have turned out like this.”

 

Utako didn’t blame me. But it was still my fault. Why? Why didn’t I…? If she wasn’t at the other end I would have screamed. A miserable howl, I held it in.

 

–“Since the disvorce, mom does nothing but bad mouthing dad. Every day, every day, she made me listen. If I talk back even a little, she gets riled, when she does, she won’t even let me sleep. So I would just listen to her, nod along sometimes. That way, she’ll be all smiley again.”

 

She went on, as if it was a matter of fact, but there was a strain in her voice. I felt as if I started to see the hardships she had to deal with.

 

“Swallowing your own thoughts like that, isn’t that…”

 

–“Yeah. That’s why I yearn for people like Yuri, people who follow their hearts. Living like that, just how wonderful, just how cool…”

 

Now, she was looking up to Yuri, not me.

 

Just like when she told me she loved the stars, she was looking up at something she couldn’t reach.

 

The realization struck me hard.

 

I had always wanted to make myself look good. I had always wanted her to know more about me. 

 

But I had never thought about her or her feelings at all.

When I asked her why she like stars, I didn’t even try to find a deeper meaning to it

 

When she said she admired Yuri, all I did was discredit her in jealousy. Why did she think so? That didn’t even cross my mind.

 

That she was strangely shy, to an extent that she blushes at the slightest attention. She was shy, that was the explanation. I didn’t even search for any underlying cause.

 

When I  heard that she was moving from place to place across the country, I was doubtful, but I sought no more explanation. I just assumed that it was because of her mother’s work. If I had dived deeper since the start, I might have been more attentive, I might have come up with countermeasures. Things wouldn’t have turned out this way.

 

I had never tried to understand the meaning behind her words, let alone consider her feelings, was there even anything I could do now? I want her to stay with me, but what right do I have to say that, do I even deserve her anymore?

 

Regrets, that was a festival for later. She had given up on asking me for help.

 

It was only natural, considering how I had treated her up until now.

 

–“I’m really glad that I became friends with Sou-chan and Yu-chan. I really enjoyed my year at Maimori. That promise we made, it really gives me strength to go on. That’s why… I’m happy we met.”

 

Her farewell would come next, the flow of the conversation told me that much.

 

Why?! From now on, never again?!

 

No words from me would console her, I had never been able to understand her. No matter how sincere, she would just hear it as a superficial flattery. I had never been able to understand her, after all…

 

–“Thank you for everything…Tell Yu-chan for me, give her my best regards… Tell her for me, will you?”

 

She hadn’t rejected me, but I doubt ending our relationship officially like this was any better. Could there be any more painful way to say goodbye?

 

“I’ll tell her. I’m sure she would take it out on me. But I’m fine being on the receiving end of it. It’s my routine now.”

 

Utako giggled apologetically. –“If we cut ties here, I’m sure she would forget about me soon. But… I won’t… I’ll never forget you two.”

 

She couldn’t stop her tears any more, but before I could say anything, the phone went dead. Overwhelmed by the sense of loss, I tried calling back, but she didn’t pick up.

 

So when she was out of my reach, it was this painful. The crushing grief told me that I love her more than I realized.

 

I couldn’t say anything as she meekly obeyed her mother. 

 

Yuri wouldn’t let anyone rein her in, she would have argued with Utako’s mother. Maybe she could persuade Utako to stand against her mother.

 

Even at times like this, I found myself thinking of Yuri. My gaze searched the ceiling, a sense of helplessness heavy in my heart.

[TN: Why don’t you just report the police of child abuse]

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