Chapter 7: 2.1

Chapter 2: Great things are not done by impulse, but a series of small things brought together.

 

Part 1

 

 

I noticed a letter when I pulled out a clear file in my bag. 

 

[If you are reading this letter, then I should be gone from this world by then.]

 

The urge to crumple it up and throw it away was irresistible even with just the first sentence. It would have been a moving scene, the start of the drama section in a film. However, Yuri Kashiwazaki, the person who wrote the letter, was at school today, going about her business as usual, and making a fool of herself as usual. That was why I was irritated.

 

She probably put the letter in my bag as one of her random pranks, and completely forgot about it the next minute. If you were going to pull this kind of prank, could you at least make it convincing? In the first place, who in the world would write their suicide letter on the back of a classical literature quiz paper? 

 

Sighing, I put the suicide letter under the application form for this year’s Snow Festival I had just recieved from Hiiragi-sensei.

 

I was now on my way to the multipurpose town hall to pick up the guidelines for the Maimori Snow Festival. The Snow Festival was a major annual event that featured a centerpiece snow sculpture of over ten meters in height, the main attraction drawing tourists into the venue. And surrounding it were two-meter snow sculptures of different themes by various organizations throughout Maimori.

 

While the domineering centerpiece created by the JSDF personnel and other volunteers requires manpower, time, and effort to create, snow sculptures created by schools and companies were to merely liven up the festival. There were even cases of families and groups of friends who were interested in snow sculpting and enjoying the festivities participated in snow sculpting. 

[TN:JSDF, Japan Self-Defense Forces, or essentially, Japanese military]

 

At the famous Sapporo Snow Festival, the number of applications for the citizens’ snow sculpture creation far exceeds the number of blocks available. Since participants were selected by raffling, it was said that just being selected to create a snow sculpture at the Sapporo Snow Festival was a fortune. On the other hand, the Maimori Snow Festival was practically unknown to the world, when compared to Sapporo’s. Even though there was a raffle drawing, nearly 100% of those who applied were eligible to participate. In fact, the application was so few that the Maiei High School art club was obliged to participate in the Snow Festival every year to fill the gap. I attended the raffle drawing, a raffle drawing only in name, got selected, then was on my way home, with a Snow Festival guideline paper with me.

 

For the Snow Festival, Hiiragi-sensei basically threw the whole thing to me, the club leader. I chuckled as I considered humoring myself by changing the name on Yuri’s suicide letter to Komiya Sousuke and left it on Hiiragi-sensei’s desk. On my way back, to flee this suffocating reality, I fancied. 

 

***

 

The three-day creation period required dozens of hours of work in temperatures well under the freezing point. The winners of the event were selected by votes of Maimori citizens. However, the reward for the effort were only medals and brief introductions and mentions here and there in local news, no prize money, nothing more, just that. Therefore, it was always a challenge just to convince enough people to participate in the event. 

 

This year too, my precious participating members, excluding myself, were two people.

 

“Let’s just get this over with. First, let’s talk about what kind of snow sculpture we are going to make. What should be our theme?” I began, “You probably know it already, but I’m repeating this: themes related to politics or religion are not allowed. Also, oversizing, carving text, or coloring are against the rules and will result in immediate disqualification,” As I read out the guideline I received yesterday, Igarashi, with her chin resting on her hands, sighed.

 

“You know, I was relieved when you said we are not participating,” she let out another depressed sigh.

 

“Me too, but since we are now participating, let’s endure it together. Yeah?”

 

“Yeah, sorry for taking it out on you even though you did nothing wrong… I’ll do my best!” said Igarashi, her back straightened.

 

She was practically forced to participate since her parents were members of the festival’s committee. Because of that, this was the second year she participated while not at all enthusiastic about it. Nonetheless, I was thankful that someone with experience agreed to participate.

 

“This year, it looks like there will be fewer of us than last year, so let’s follow our senior’s footsteps and make something simple and safe. Komiya, what do you think?”

 

“Yeah, and since our experiences are just as well as beginners’ in this field, so something with a stable center of gravity would be preferable,” I added, “Last year, senpais also carved a character from a popular video game with a stable center of gravity too… Oh, and Saegusa, if you have any ideas, don’t hesitate to suggest it, okay?”

 

Saegusa, a first year who kept lots of layers of permed hair as if to hide her round face, and if you ruffled her hair, you could see her round, easily agitated eyes. She was the type of quiet girl that could be outspoken when it came to her opinions.

 

“Well… I want more first-years to participate, since we need to lead next year… But that seems hard.”

 

I hadn’t asked her directly why she participated, but I had a gist of it. I was confessed by Saegusa a while before summer. While I ended up refusing, she might have lingering feelings and participated because I was here. Or perhaps I was just being conceited.

 

“I’m sorry, but I have already approached some first-years today, but none came. Hang in there, I’ll try convincing more to join.”

 

“Ah, no. I didn’t mean to complain… Senpai is always working hard… I’m… sorry.”

 

“Hopefully more people will join in the future, but for now, we  are now running out of time, so let’s just decide on what we are going to do by ourselves. Let’s see, within two cubic meters, the production period is three days… If we assume that there are just the three of us… That’s going to be pretty tough…”

 

The discussion went smoothly, we decided that the snow sculpture for our club will be the famous “Monomon”. The two-headed character had a stable center of gravity and a simple face. Although other groups might choose “Monomon” like us, it was a safe choice that no one could voice a complaint.

 

“All we have to do now is to work out a little more in detail about how we are going to carve it and submit the production plan to the management. Let’s just get it over with and get back to our own work!”

 

“Agreed. I just started carving a new piece, spending too much time on this is the last thing I would ask for. Honestly, I’m not into this at all, but yeah, we’ll get through this together!”

 

Igarashi and Saegusa were comrades who love creating, whether it be painting, sculpturing, or something else, they were irreplaceable friends. It was true that the Snow Festival was certainly a painstaking event, but getting to work with other club members like this was something I looked forward to.

 

Besides, I had a precious memory at the Snow Festival.  

 

I could still vividly remember every word I exchanged with Utako on that day, back then, at the festival. The feeling that I wanted to stay beside her forever.

 

Even though she had the opportunity to come to the festival once, she had told me that she loved Maimori Snow Festival. It was only natural that I would do everything in my power to convey the atmosphere of the festival to her.

 

[I’ll be sculpting in this year’s Snow Festival too.]

 

One day,

 

One day, when our dreams came true, the three of us would be able to enjoy the festival together one more time. With a smile on my face, I sent the message to Utako.

 

*** 

 

“Urgh–, this is too cold–”

 

With my scarf wound around my neck, I left the house. There was a puzzling fashion trend with unknown origin that high school boys wearing coats were lame. But whoever came up with it surely hadn’t considered how much inconvenience this trend would cause. Walking in this freezing weather without a coat and several layers of stuffy sweaters and undershirts underneath to compliment, what a peak fashion. Thanks a lot, whoever you were.

 

As I opened the classroom door with a sigh, I immediately heard their usual banter.

 

“Well, last night, my mom forgot to turn on the heater, and it was super cold this morning. My hands were freezing! Cuz of that I couldn’t even attach the eyelashes properly–”

 

“Marina, why don’t you stop wearing those fancy outfits and makeup that benefits no one? By your looks, I would take you as a girl who goes to night pools, takes selfies, and posts them on social media. That look would only attract playboys to a virgin like you, and ends up with you drowning in tears. See? Nothing good out of it,” reasoned Yuri.

 

“Don’t be so biased! You seem so keen on making enemies, don’t you?” snapped Seino

 

The exchange between Yuri and Seino had become a famous daily commotion in class seven. Reactions varied from sometimes taking part in the conversation to ignoring. I walked past them to my seat and began unwrapping my scarf.

 

If Yuri had still made a proper use of her artistic talents and devoted all her energy to painting, perhaps this feeling of restlessness in my chest would still be a little easier to bear. However, Yuri hadn’t changed since the mixer, she hadn’t come to the club once, and I doubt she would paint at home. That was what made this irritation and envy even more unbearable.

 

I had been nagging Yuri to come to club activities and draw pictures, but it was not only because of my personal feelings. Anyone who had seen Yuri’s paintings, even once, must have felt compelled to say something about the artist’s current attitude, just like Sugawara-senpai.

 

“Well, if this were a manga, perhaps you might still look stunning without makeup. But unfortunately, you are still stunning without makeup… just stunningly bad.” 

 

“Shut up! I don’t want to be lectured by a potato-headed girl who knows nothing about makeup!”

 

“It’s not that I know nothing, there’s just no need to know,” shrugged Yuri.

 

“Huhhh? Aren’t you too annoying? Unbelievable, I’ve been dying of mental stress since morning… Yuri, are you compensating for this!?”

 

And the ridiculous exchange continued until the teacher arrived.

 

***

 

After school, I blocked Yuri’s path as she was leaving.

 

“What, Sousuke? Gonna confess or something?”

 

“As if I like you in the first place. You know, Yuri, you should really come to the club today. It’s December already, remember? The deadline for Kouji is the end of March, and I also want to see your new work.” I stared into her eyes.

 

“I don’t care if you say so. I don’t feel like painting, so I won’t. What is impossible is impossible. If I had time to paint in the first place, I’d rather play.”

 

“You know, winning the Kouji would guarantee a recommendation letter into universities. It’s true that you’ll have less time to play now, but it would save a lot of time later on. It’s your gain.”

 

Since Yuri despited studying, I believed it was an effective way to persuade her. In fact, Yuri had intentionally won awards in junior high school just to get a recommendation to enter Maiei.  However, Yuri blatantly showed her annoyance as she let out a big sigh.

 

“Why is it up to you to decide what’s a loss or gain for me?” she said coldly. 

 

I flinched at the unusually cold and dismissive look. My body trembled with frustration, but I straightened my back; I didn’t say anything wrong.

 

“Not just me, until now, many people must have said the same thing. Isn’t that right?” I insisted, standing my ground.

 

“Just stop that boring talk. How about the exhibition ticket I gave you? Have you checked it out?” 

 

“So now you try to change the topic… So I need to answer that, right?” Owning no other choice, I answered,  “I’ll be there next Sunday, the last day.”

 

“I gave you two tickets, so why don’t you go twice? Unless you have a girl you can ask out,” she taunted.

 

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I glared at the teasing genius in front of me. Originally, the ticket was specifically given to her, yet the notion of going herself didn’t seem to cross her mind.

 

Noticing my silence, Yuri suppressed a laugh and added, “I’m just kidding, you already have Utako. Well then, I’m going home, bye.”

 

As if to tell me that that was the end of the line, Yuri strode away. Joining Seino who was chatting with her friends as they set their course home. Yuri was not coming to club activity again today. ’As if I would just let you go,’ I gritted my teeth. As I scurry after them, I noticed people halting, their gaze piling on the courtyard.

 

“What happened?”

 

Yuri turned my direction and amusedly pointed. “There, Sugawara-senpai is being confessed.”

 

It was said that confessing to Sugawara-senpai was an act of extreme bravery, either that or utter foolishness. When I peeked out the window to see what kind of guy was up to the challenge,  I saw Senpai and a guy talking. Although I could not see the man’s face, Senpai appeared as composed as usual. 

 

At the given distance, I wasn’t able to pick up their conversation, but as I watched the courageous challenger’s confession, Senpai bowed and turned to leave the scene. As expected, bravery could only carry him this far.

 

The challenger persisted, probably chewing on his failure, but Senpai continued walking, not turning back even once. As I was about to avert my eyes, feeling sympathetic for the guy, he took a step forward. The brave challenger, who had become a bullish fool at this moment, seized Senpai’s wrist, unable to suppress his feelings.

 

Plop! 

 

I almost yelped as Yuri slid the window open, stepped over the window sill, then dropped. I and Seino rushed to the window, eyes following as Yuri descended, skirt flapping, leggings revealed. She landed gracefully, snow cushioning her fall.

 

I took a quick glance at Senpai and the guy, their face painted with surprise, before darting down the stairs myself. I quickly changed my shoes and charged into the courtyard. By the time I was there, the guy was gone, standing there was a giggling Senpai and Yuri, dusting snow off her body.

 

“Yuri! That was dangerous! What if you got an injury!?” I snapped.

 

“An injury? How could I get hurt from something like this? I’ve already dealt with that guy. Really, a guy who dares to raise his fist to a woman deserves to be single for another hundred years!” she explained. Puffing her chest, Yuri was enjoying the feeling of being the hero of justice. 

 

“Thanks, Yuri. If you hadn’t dealt with him, I might have taken action myself. Just the idea of getting into trouble before graduation terrifies me. So thanks, Yuri.” thanked Senpai

 

“Um, Kaede-chan, no…Sugawara-senpai! We were just watching the commotion from upstairs, but… you were con… You were confessed?” gulped Seino, who had finally arrived, puffing white breath. Last time, she was too distracted to be aware of Senpai, but now, Seino was in full-on fangirl mode. 

 

“Ah, Seino-chan! Yeah, like you said, I was confessed.”

 

“Personally, I don’t think any boy in this school is worthy of your beauty, so it’s normal you would turn them down… But was it because you already have a boyfriend? If you have one, then he must be either a celebrity or someone in the industry, right? Ah, if your agency doesn’t allow you to say it then you don’t have to!” Seino’s eyes glittered.

 

Seino, weren’t you over excited… Even I was embarrassed for you…

 

“Boyfriend? No, none. I’m moving straight to Tokyo after graduating and becoming a full-fledged model, so I’m not interested in anything that could cause a scandal. Right now, my dreams are more important than love. I got talent, so it would be a pity if I don’t make the most out of it, wouldn’t it?”

 

Senpai glanced at Yuri, as if to provoke her.

 

“But… that’s the ’good girl answer’ for the media. I’ve never actually been in love, so I can’t say. I might even turn out to be the passionate type, who knows?” she suggested.

 

“No matter what choice you make, I will always support you, Sugawara-senpai!” gushed Seino.

 

“Thank you–. I’m happy to hear that.”

 

Whether or not she was aware of senpai’s provocation, Yuri half listened to their exchange. When her eyes found me, she grinned, her amusement restored. 

 

“Hmm, Sousuke, since you are here, why don’t you ask some love advice from Senpai, she’s the most popular high school girl in Maimori, afterall.”

 

She gave me that kind of wink that I would never do even if I could.

  

 

“Hm? Sousuke, is there something you want to ask from me?”

 

Confused, I mumbled, “Um, no. I don’t think I do… Ah!”

 

It was only after Yuri and Seino escaped the courtyard that I realized that the statement earlier was a bait. She got away again.

 

“Senpai, do you realize that the most popular high school girl in Maimori was being used by a stupid kouhai of hers to skip club activities…”

 

“Eh?…What–, Really!? You did it huh, Yuri! Hmph, it’s infuriating to be deceived like that! Well then, at least you could ask for some advice, so her statement could be partially true!” said Senpai, resolute.

 

“Why is your competitive spirit triggered by something like that!?”

 

Troubled, I stared at her up and down. Nope, with that composure, she was not backing down. Then it suddenly dawned on me. I rummaged for the tickets in my backpack.

 

“Senpai, would you like to go with me? A famous painter named Shouhei Kawabe is having a solo exhibition in Sapporo. This ticket was given to me by Yuri… and I think it is better to actually see and feel the work of a real painter once if you want to be an oil painting model. Senpai’s opinions about them could also be used as a reference. How about it?”

 

“So… just the two of us? I’m a popular model, after all, you know?”

 

“Well, yes.” 

 

She looked at me as if she wanted to say something.

 

“Do you really understand what you are talking about–… Well, okay. I’m going. What time and where to meet?”

 

I blinked my eyes, not expecting to get an OK.

 

“What, you’re really going?” I voiced my doubt into words.

 

“Aren’t you the one inviting me? I don’t know anything about painting, so you’ll have to show me around, okay?”

 

After that, we decided the date and the meeting place before we parted ways.

 

I had invited her in the heat of the moment, thinking only about how having the model and the painter share their impressions of the same piece of art would improve the quality of the painting. That was what I was thinking. But to keep silent to Utako was like betraying her, so I sent her an explanatory message.

 

[I’m going to an art exhibition next Sunday with a senpai who will be a model for my painting form school. It’s for my painting, I don’t have any ulterior motives.]

 

That sounded awfully like an excuse. Feeling guilty, I wrapped my arms around my head.

 

***

 

Sunday, December 9th. The train ride took around eighty minutes.

 

The two-story white building with a spacious garden welcomed us to the Hokkaido Museum of Modern Art.

 

While Senpai said it was her first visit to the museum, I had been here far more than ten times, though I did not remember the exact number. I had come here once with Yuri and her family during elementary school. At that time, Yuri had always found inspiration from things that no one expected here. She had even once used a sculpture from the shady corner of the museum as an inspiration. She never said it out loud, but she must have been looking forward to going to the museum.

 

But since when? Since when did the adults see potential in Yuri’s growth began to actively try taking her to exhibitions. Since when did they force-invite her to lectures by big-name artists? Since when did Yuri gradually begin to complain that it was too much for her. Their own failing, that Yuri stopped drawing, was because they were blinded by their greed for her talent and how they disregarded her carefree  personality.

 

“Sousuke?”

 

Sugawara-senpai’s voice brought me back to reality. It was quite astonishing for me to think about Yuri despite the fact that I was in a situation that should have made other men jealous. 

 

“Sorry. Shall we go inside?”

 

I had invited Senpai today despite her hectic schedule, I couldn’t waste her precious time. This was not the time to be thinking about Yuri. I renewed my determination to enjoy today to the fullest, and went home with a good inspiration.

 

“As I told you briefly on the train, you will be surprised when you actually see Kawabe-sensei’s paintings.” I implied before stepping into the museum.

 

Shohei Kawabe was a master of realist painting, he specialized in realism and replication of reality. Surrounded by paintings so realistic that they could be mistaken for photographs, Senpai awed.

 

The advantage of realistic paintings was how “straightforward” they were. For example, it was said that Picasso’s paintings were difficult for the general public to understand, while realistic paintings were possible for everyone to distinguish between beautiful or not. Besides me, Senpai’s eyes lit up as she enjoyed a painting of a woman.

 

I was relieved that she was enjoying the exhibit, and I too, was able to fully immerse myself in the appreciation of the displayed paintings. I, who did not like to pompously talk about my knowledge and Senpai, who was concentrating on the paintings with more enthusiasm than I had anticipated. At first glance, our lack of conversation might have suggested that we were an awkward couple, but for me, it was this silence that made me feel comfortable and at ease.

 

Having fully enjoyed Kawabe-sensei’s world, I was left with an urge to paint. I was glad I came here. Satisfied, we left the exhibition. 

 

“Wow, the exhibition’s good. How about you, Senpai? Are you tired yet?” I asked as we stepped through the door.

 

“No, I’m totally fine. I’m not sure… This was the first time I have been to an exhibition of such a famous artist, so it was quite overwhelming, no… just plain interesting! It was better than I had imagined!” Senpai agreed.

 

Happy to see Senpai speak excitedly, I broke into a smile as we neared the exit. Then I stopped in front of a souvenir shop near the main entrance.

 

The shop featured products related to Kawabe-sensei as well as art albums by other famous artists and other items that were relatively easy to access for those interested in art. I think this was a clever business strategy on the part of the museum to encourage guests who were exposed to art to buy souvenirs while they were still in the mood.

 

“The museum seems to also sell Sensei’s catalog, related books, postcards, and other small items. Would you like to buy something as a memento?” I suggested.

 

“Hmm–, yeah, I will.”

 

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