Chapter 3: Everything is bad

Chapter Three: Everything is bad.

 The cutting machines were very loud but that wouldn't stop them from talking to each other, it would help them make time pass faster.

 "Since all countries will begin to drain all their resources, and only the great powers will remain, in my opinion, this will facilitate the process of superpowers taking over other countries..."

 "But if..."

 "Just one moment, let me continue.. You will ask how that will be? The answer is simple, which is that the great powers will start cooperating with the rest of the countries and supplying them with resources, either food, oil, or gas and..and..and, and thus will begin to spread their agendas easily within the state. Which did not and will not realize its fate until the end, will brainwash the simple population that, for example, because a state will do this, it is your enemy, but we are the ones who will protect you from it, or it may be worse, it is possible that everything is public, but it is from under the table How?, Is to give to the public False information or incomplete information, and everyone interprets it at will.

 Just a normal discussion between people talking about politics, well, what is the maximum they can do?

 "Hmm... you may be right, but, despite that, other countries may really want to help each other. For example, if we gather together against this corrupt government with one hand, do you think that we will not be able to bring it down?"

 "Man, what are you talking about? A lot of people did this before you. Many people came out against the corrupt governments, but do you see that there is a change now? Do you not remember in the previous demonstrations, the voice of those who positioned themselves that they are the speakers for the rest of the demonstrators, after that They were given jobs and positions with good salaries, and they denied the rest. What we really need now is not a change of government, no.. Rather, a change of government is a temporary solution. We must change the people’s thinking. We must make the people aware of everything that is happening around them. This is their right.”

 "Then why don't you change yourself in the beginning, shouldn't the change start from everyone, even me and you, listen, I'm really not trying to blame you for anything but think about it for a while, how will the people's thinking change and unite if he comes to his brother asking him for help and he denies him, we Just demons, believe me, if only some of us had even a tiny bit of humanity, all of this wouldn't have happened."

 The dialogue was getting hotter despite the anger and muffled anger on their faces, but each person has his or her point of view about this life that may be correct or it may be wrong. We will remain mere human beings who make mistakes and correct the mistake. Those who walk back and forth in the street now, each of them changes, develops himself, it is possible that he does not notice his change because it comes from a realization of reality, in a simple short, we will change at every moment, you may be shocked at times that you have changed without even realizing.

 "I don't know what to say or what to do, but I'm sure that one day something will happen to humanity that will make them regret every moment they did something wrong."

 "Would you believe it if I told you that I now have a lot of things to regret?"

 "And who told you that I am not one of them? Huh.. If only I had completed my studies, it would have been possible that I could even lead this country and make it a paradise." He stood with his left hand resting on the edge of the metal table and rubbing the tip of his forehead with his soot-filled little finger.

 "I don't believe in that." Reply with a small smile

 "Why is your thinking always negative and gloomy, you know that the dream is free."

 "Really, my words seem negative? Everyone says this, I feel like it's normal? .. I'm really starting to doubt myself."

 This door factory was just a small local factory, a large part of it is exposed on the road, and the important tools and metal are all inside, so if anyone passes by, they will be able to see what is outside the factory and even inside it.

 As for Leon, he could only hear them silently without uttering a word. There was so much inside of him he wanted to say but for some reason every moment he tried to speak an idea came to his mind "What if I'm wrong?" or "What is their reaction to what I'm going to say?"

 He was really worried to the slightest point, overthinking possibilities that didn't exist.

 In any case, everyone thinks that he is a loner of few words, who has nothing to do with another person and does not like problems, um.. But like that, Leon wanted to talk but did not know how to start.

 The only person he was talking to was this local factory owner, or let's be honest, he didn't speak to him in the literal sense, but only a conversation filled with false smiles that only lasted for a few seconds and then broke off.

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 .

 It's 1:13 pm.

 Now it's noon, but the sun is still hiding behind that thick heap of clouds, as if afraid to show itself, Leon thought of his plan for his day, organized as usual, a day in which many things happen again, "I washed my face first after making breakfast for my mother and then woke her, and then work and now The very, very secret meeting."

 After he finished his tiring work, which was always thought of as boring work, just measuring the length of the metal and then cutting it, he always wanted to try new things, but how did he get tired because of the lack of money.

 After walking between the roads all he had to do was go to the place where they met every week, he knew that his mother would starve, but he thought the meeting was more important and he would be able to come back quickly after him and prepare food for her.

 But Leon felt something strange then he could not describe it accurately, it was like regret, he wanted to go back, turn around and then stand for a few seconds and smile and go back to complete his way.

 He was feeling some pain above his lower back due to the iron being lifted above his body's ability.

 It didn't last long before he reached a pedestrian bridge, it was an ordinary orange bridge linking one sidewalk to another. Leon looked at the pedestrian bridge for a few seconds, staring at that advertisement for washing clothes.

 Now he is sitting under the stairs of the bridge in a place where no one can enter him unless he turns from the small fence or jumps from above it directly to the bottom, but he has to endure the pain of his ankles after falling from two meters.

 He put away the water bottles and some bags of chips that they look like the air brought here last night, and he just sat there waiting.

 .

 .

 It had been about a quarter of an hour and they still hadn't come. Leon felt he had betrayed him, or rather he was in pain, as if he was holding back his tears. He wasted the time he was going to prepare food for his mother.

 .

 .

 They hadn't come yet.. Every few minutes he would say, "If they haven't come in 5 minutes, I'll go," but five minutes pass and he repeats the same sentence.

 .

 .

 "You know... I don't think I'll be able to leave her, you don't even know how much I'm starting to hate myself for her. She ruined me."

 "No..don't say this everyone can change something in his life even in a simple way, and also don't ever think that you are the only one who suffers - smiled - I don't want to say it in a way that might make you misunderstand it, but I really feel comfortable when I know that someone suffers from the same my problem."

 "Sometimes I think like this, I'm not different, but I remember reading this saying in one of the books for self-development 'When you are among people with the same problem, you will find your problem easier on your heart.'

 "Is it another book that I only read twenty pages of and then left it?"

 "Aaaaah..yes, but they are really boring books that get excited only to start and then don't start by not understanding anything."

 One of them looked in front of him and said in a low voice to the one next to him, "Is he coming early or are we late?"

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 Leon was sitting and looking at them approaching him, he felt a little angry, but he waved his hand and smiled.

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 The discussion started as they drank some soft drinks, "So who do we start with?"

 "Paul?...Do you want us to start with you? Or Leon?"

 Paul hurriedly replied, "So I'll start yesterday, after I finished a self-improvement book.."

 "You mean I only finished twenty pages?"

 Ahem.. Josh please without interruption, well after I finished twenty pages—his friend Josh was staring sharply—from one of his self-improvement books there was some stupid stuff and..and..well it was boring, not that great and I don't think I'd go back to reading it. Well, I think the money was wasted, but suddenly after I closed it I felt a craving in my mind after a few seconds, as if he was telling me to go and masturbate now.

 Josh replied, "So you did it?"

 "You're way of making me feel like I've committed a crime," Paul replied with some shame.

 And you know that it is a crime against your body.. the most important now, as for me, two days have passed without me doing it, but sometimes I get a desire to do it, but quickly go and sit next to my parents to forget it, and for the information you have learned this method through One of the videos that popped up all of a sudden, I feel it really is fate and I also feel proud that I finally resisted for a while, even for a short time, after doing it once or twice a day.” Josh was speaking with apparent pride.

 He continued, "Do you want us to start first with ways to solve, for each person and then move on to the other person, or do we stay after everyone has finished talking and then ask some things that help the person to help him?"

 Red Bull "Just go ahead and leave everything to the end."

 Leon nodded, smiling.

 Leon was looking at them and listening closely to their stories about the day so all he could do was look and shook his head a few times, they were both black-haired, one of them had light hair with glasses and the face of a very normal young man (Paul), and the other had some pimples on his face and big eyes And he was almost good-looking (Josh).

 Well, those pimples on your face say nothing of it, Paul said to Josh.

 "You idiot, I told you before and I will repeat it that pimples come out because of some skin problems like oil and not because of masturbation."

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 Josh continued, "Leon? .. Do you want to start?"

 Leon thought for a moment, until he finally opened his mouth. "It's the 12th or 13th day, I think, without masturbation. I really feel like I've got over my cravings this time."

 He continued, trying to avoid some of their looks, he was talking to them and staring at the empty plastic water bottle in front of him, “The way it was was I tried to hold out for at least sixty seconds after any sexual idea came to me and then that thought would go away, I knew this information about a week ago. "

 It was as if he was trying to avoid things, yet at one point he remembered himself the night before masturbating and groaning, remembering everything and still smiling...for now he's smiling.

 "Didn't you say that week that you were trying to get as far away from your phone as possible?" said Paul.

 "I've been—repetition reflexively—I've been trying this method too," Leon replied, his tone changing, and his head lowered to the ground.

 Josh replied calmly, "You should have shared this information beforehand if you knew it. We're just here to help each other get rid of masturbation, so you should be more open with us."

 Leon "I'm sorry...but you know, I wanted how to say it, I just wanted to try it before giving it to you."

 Paul replied with some anger, "You know you're not the only one suffering so just talk about the thing you find directly to help us at least a little."

 "Calm down, he just wanted to try it to make sure." Josh said softly.

 You are the one who should calm down, don't you see him? His task here is only to distribute smiles and calm, while he sits in control of himself. I used to blame myself daily.. I really hated myself for doing it daily without getting bored..

 It was really an unpleasant feeling that Paul had, as though he had no value among more impatient people.

 Leon got a little annoyed, he wanted to stand up now and punch him, yeah he really wanted to punch "You're just a jealous idiot why don't you try to save yourself if you're so angry." Those words came out against his will and he was angry, as if his body had activated some defense mechanism.

 Paul stood swaying, "Josh, I'm going. Don't invite me here if he's here." Walk as he goes.

 Josh didn't stop him, he just said, "Okay."

 Paul felt something that made him even more angry and sad at the same time, that his friend Josh never called him to stop or go with him.

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 .

 It was really gone without turning back, the silence swung between them as if they were inside a barren desert, until the silence was broken when Leon said, "Sorry."

 "You know that you don't have to be sorry, but listen, take this as advice from a dear friend, I don't want to interfere with what interests you, or rather I don't know what's inside you, despite the previous months, but I don't feel like I knew anything about you, but you know that you have to talk So much, I think you were ashamed to tell us that way before, I don't remember you even talking, don't think for a moment that someone will understand what you want if you don't talk just try to curb your shyness and talk, it will be all right, just be open to others.

 It's 4:00 pm.

 Still sitting under the bridge after they both left, Leon was confident that Josh wanted to stay with him just so he wouldn't embarrass him, but at the time Leon wanted to just stay alone, he thought for a few seconds as he leaned on the cold metal of the bridge outstretching his feet On the dirt and pebbles, "Is what I said true? Really, why didn't I keep quiet and answered that everything I knew today? Was what happened now going to happen?"

 He looked at the dirt to see a single and small ant that was walking aimlessly. It was surprising that what he knew was that ants do not go out in the winter, they gather their food and then hide until spring.

 He looked back up, as if moments were starting to come in and out of one eye.

 Then he finished saying, "You did the right thing, don't worry." It was like reinforcing himself.

 He knew he was lying to himself, 'Leon' was fully aware of this, he was trying to take on a character who was not the only real 'Leon'.

 It was..a liar

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