Chapter 7: Part 7:

Well, I didn’t sleep well that night. Probably not a surprising fact.

As I got over the oddly unpleasant feeling of being reminded of my masculinity I realised there was the silver lining that it meant I could marry Eka. Which was a lovely thought.

Except how in the world could I tell her? 

How was I supposed to explain to her that I’d been lying the whole time? Or why I’d been lying the whole time?

She’d hate me, wouldn’t she? I’d been deceiving her since we’d met. I’d made her dad think he’d been scammed. She’d no doubt done things around me she wouldn’t have knowingly done with a guy. The proximity we’d had…

Maybe I could get away from being murdered by pointing out I’d forgotten myself?

Except who in the world would believe me? I would barely believe I’d done it…

Still, it was the truth. Surely I could prove it? They made truth potions, didn’t they? If I let her buy me one… it didn’t actually change anything, did it? Even if I’d honestly forgotten I was lying I was still lying. 

Also, she did still definitely have a temper, like the rest of her family. Which meant there was always a chance I’d be dead. Plus, Grolog’s place was pretty big, lots of places to hide a body and no one would ever know. I didn’t really have enough friends in town for anyone to ask questions.

Ok, so she probably wouldn’t kill me for it, but… I didn’t feel I could totally rule out the possibility as I weighed my options under the light of the setting moon.

So, maybe I could just stick to my original plan. Save up enough money to buy a ride on a wagon out of town. Put the whole mess behind me. 

Just live the rest of my life not knowing if Eka might have liked me back. Never seeing her smile again. Her kind eyes. Her impressive biceps…

Ok, so maybe my attraction wasn’t the ‘purest’, but dang, it turned out I was a sucker for girls who could crack a pumpkin by flexing. Also, gals who were more than a few hands taller than me. 

Two things that were pretty firmly non-existent back in elven lands. 

Which felt like more proof I needed to stay. To tell the truth. 

Except risking death also didn’t sound great and, heck, even if she didn’t intend to, I’d seen how Nekra and Bikra squabbled. The things they threw at each other during arguments… orcs were just more durable than half elves. I needed—right!

A potion of rapid retreat. 

The local potion shop surely had those. All I needed to do was go into town in the morning, buy one, then chug it just before talking to Eka. 

Alright, so I’d still have to figure out what I’d say to her specifically, but it was part one of a plan. That was something.

As I was nodding to myself, happy with my planning efforts, I realised the sun was starting to rise. 

Which left me wondering how much sleep I’d gotten. Surely a little, but it didn’t feel like it. Still, I was abuzz enough from my planning that I got dressed and headed out as the others were still waking up. 

I’d grabbed a small bun on the way out and ate that for breakfast as I hurried over to town. 

Arriving, I was a little annoyed to see that the potion shop wasn’t open yet. Not only that, but their sign stating their hours read: ‘we’re open when we’re open and not a minute more’.

The joys of a small town, I supposed.

Pacing about, I remained a mess of stress and anxiety, getting a few odd looks from the folks doing their morning business in town. I didn’t care and kept pacing until I saw Kessica walking out of the bakery with a basket of bread.

Because, right… her father had seemed like a pretty smart guy. Also, he’d had that whole patient confidentiality thing going on. I could ask him for advice. Instead of just walking a groove in the cobblestone outside the potion shop.

Nodding to myself, I hurried over to Kessica’s side. “Good morning.”

“Oh, morning Anrik. How can I help you?” she asked, continuing on her way, but at a leisurely enough pace that I could easily keep up.

“I was wondering if your dad was available today? I had something I’d kind of like to ask him about,” I replied.

“Oh. Yeah. He should be free this morning? That old woman Kurjak is with him right now, but it’s just a routine check up. It probably won’t take long, if you want to wait now?” she offered.

I gave a nod. “That sounds good… did you want me to help carry that basket for you at all?”

“Oh, nah. It’s just bread. It’s pretty light,” she replied with a grin. “Thank you, though.”

Kessica drifted the conversation over to some light small talk, mostly about how the weather had been, and what it was likely to mean for the coming harvest. I… only sort of knew how my own garden was going, so had limited input, but she seemed happy just to talk. 

She had matters to attend to when we reached the clinic, so I sat quietly in the waiting area. It wasn’t a long wait, I don’t think, but my mind was racing enough that it felt like an eternity. At least that made it seem like I had more time to get my questions in order. Which was tricky, since I didn’t feel comfortable saying exactly what happened, not knowing the limits to Doctor Greenman’s confidentiality rules. 

Still, I was pretty sure I had a decent line of questioning when the door opened and Doctor Greenman led a large yet ancient looking orcish woman out of his office, providing her some dietary advice as he did so. 

With her gone, he turned to me and gave a nod. “Miss Anrik, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Guilt bubbled in my gut at the appellation. A reminder of the trick I’d played on everyone.

“I was looking for some advice, actually. Not medical, but, more just life advice… with the benefit of your confidentiality rules since it’s kind of… er, well, since I’m trying to avoid any injuries in a situation, maybe you could call it ‘medical’ advice,” I offered with a slightly forced grin.

“Alright. I think there’s wiser folks in the village tham myself, but I am happy to try to help,” the doctor replied, leading me into the office.

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I sat down on a chair, and gave a small nod. “So… say someone very pushy forced you into helping out with a situation, and you hadn’t wanted to be involved, so you decided to pretend you were… bad at what the folks needed help with in the hopes they’d decide they didn’t need you around and you could go home. Only, the people who you were pushed to go help with were actually really nice and were understanding about you not being as good as they were told and offered to have you help out in a simple way and… and they’ve been so good to you that you want to help out in your full ability like you were supposed to, but you don’t know how to confess that you lied initially because of the person who forced you in the situation?”

The doctor blinked once or twice. “That’s… ok, I think I mostly follow, but… I just want to make sure that it wasn’t my Kessica who forced you into this, right? I know she’s enthusiastic, but you can say no to her.”

“No, no. It isn’t anyone you know,” I replied.

“Understood. Either way, I do recommend being more assertive and saying no to people in future,” Doctor Greenman said.

“It… it was someone I couldn’t really say no to,” I explained. “Like, I tried.”

“Mhm.”

There was a pause as the doctor mulled things over. 

“Could I get slightly more details?” he asked, after a few moments.

“I don’t want to put you in an awkward situation by knowing more before I tell everyone… plus it’s kind of embarrassing,” I replied.

“Fair enough. Though I’m sure old lady Kurjak told me far more embarrassing things during her visit… some old orcs simply lack a filter and I am a doctor,” he said, laughing a little to lighten the mood.

I managed a strained laugh in reply.

“Mhm, well… I do think explaining your reasoning is important. Especially if the people you’ve been helping out know the person who forced you into this, then they’d probably realise what said person is like?” the doctor said after a moment. 

I blinked. “That makes sense.”

“Also, though… you might be surprised. I think it’s possible your new friends can already tell you’re better than you say. Being honestly bad at something and faking being bad at something can look quite different. Especially if they know anything about what you’ve been tasked with,” he offered.

The words sunk in slowly, but once they did I felt like a light spell had gone off in my brain. Of course. I was trying to fake being a girl to a family of five girls. Maybe Nekra and Bikra didn’t pay that much attention to me, but surely the other three would have noticed my mistakes by now. They probably suspected.

But then…

“Why wouldn’t they say anything?”

“Well, it’s as you said. They’re kind and understanding people. I’m sure they’re sure you have your reasons. Possibly because they could tell you were there reluctantly, but that you’re a good person otherwise?” Doctor Greenman replied.

I gave a small nod. I had tried my best to earn my keep, and… had Grolog seen through me first thing? Had he been upset because my mother had forced me against my will? Having told him I’d wanted to go?

No, that was unlikely. I looked pretty convincing as a girl. At least, visually. It was probably just the sisters who’d have noticed after I spent time with them. 

Well, maybe they hadn’t noticed, but… maybe they had. I at least felt like my odds were better now than I’d thought they were before. 

“Thank you for the advice, Doctor,” I said, standing back up.

“No worries. I do hope it goes well, but, also… please try to be more honest and assertive in the future,” he replied.

I gave my goodbye and headed back out onto the town street. 

And headed straight back to the potion shop, because I still wanted to have it as a backup plan. Thankfully the shop was finally open, so I was able to head in and make an order for the potion. 

It was then just a short wait for the tiny old woman behind the counter to brew up a bottle for me. A wait where I tried to figure out what I was going to say.

How was I going to start explaining the whole mess to Eka anyhow?

Maybe it was better to start with talking to Y’suk? She was kinder and calmer.

I spent more time with Eka, though. She was the one I felt like I had the most bond with. I wanted to think she felt something back towards me, even if she thought I was a woman. 

“Well, here’s your potion, young missy,” the old woman said, putting forward a small glass vial. “I’m surprised you came to me today, though. What with the travelling mages visiting.”

“Oh, I hadn’—”

Right. No. Zago had said something about visiting mages yesterday, hadn’t she? I had been a bit distracted, between the hangover and realising I was in love with Eka, but… yeah. Zago had definitely been excited.

Why, I didn’t know, but a kid in a small town like this probably got excited for any visitors rolling into town. Especially if they could put on a show, like travelling mages no doubt did.

“I forgot about them,” I said. “They’re probably more expensive anyhow.”

“Mhm. I’m not sure their type do simple potions like that either way,” the old woman muttered, not sounding very impressed.

I handed over a few silver as payment and headed out, realising it might be best to try to find these travelling mages. Since Zago had wanted to see them, and Eka usually got left with babysitting duty. 

If she was there, that was probably good for me. She’d probably stay calmer in public, and it would be easier for me to run away if things went south.

So where were these travelling mages?

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