Chapter 8: Part 8:

Finding the travelling mages actually proved easier than I’d worried it might. The town was small, after all, and there was something of a crowd gathered to see them perform or to buy the various goods they’d brought with them.

I circled the crowd a bit, hoping to spot Grolog’s family without getting lost in the bustle. Even if I was more than a little tempted by the pickpocketing oppor—no. No. I had to focus, and ignore the instincts my mother had raised me with.

There were too many orcs in this town, though. I couldn’t see over them. It was rather inconvenient.

“Oh! Anrik!” Zago’s voice called out from behind me somewhere.

Turning, I saw the family (minus Bikra) approaching from down the street.

I’d apparently been too early. But I’d found them, at least.

“Ah, there you all are,” I said, smiling away. “Eka… can we talk about something?”

“Umm… I was going to wait with Zago…” she said, glancing at her smallest sister.

“You don’t have to,” Zago said, rolling her eyes. “Dad’s the only one who has to, since he’s paying.”

The aging orcish man gave a quiet sigh.

“Alright,” Eka said with a nod. “If you say so. It’s pretty quiet over there.”

We headed over, away from the crowd. Out of earshot, but generally visible. Close enough that people would look if I screamed, but far enough people wouldn’t over hear anything we said. Really, the ideal situation for keeping me calm while confessing.

I paced a bit, before pulling out the potion.

“What’s that?” Eka asked.

“Uh… something to help with my courage,” I replied, before drinking it.

I suddenly felt a rush of energy. Maybe a bit too much energy, as I felt very bouncy as a result.

“Eka, I have a confession. Or, two confessions,” I said, as she sat down on a nearby bench.

That was appreciated. It made her less intimidating.

“Oh?” She asked.

“Mhm. They’re related,” I explained. “I need to start with telling you about my mother. She’s obnoxious. Pushy. Never listens. If she sets her mind to something there’s no talking her out of it.”

Eka nodded. “Dad’s had some stories about her.”

“I can imagine,” I said, realising I was pacing again and forcing myself to stop. “She’s always been a… well, that means you can understand why I’d want to rebel against whatever she pushes then?”

“I suppose?”

“Mhm. So…” I said, trailing off as I hit the real wall of the conversation. 

I was going to have to come out and say it. The terrifying secret. 

Maybe I could say the less terrifying one first? That seemed fair, right? Ease her into it.

But did it make any sense without the other part? Wouldn’t she just be confused if I confessed to wanting to marry her before confessing to being a guy?

“Is everything ok?” she asked, leaning forward to look into my eyes.

Gosh. The dark golden eyes of hers were so pretty. I felt my cheeks go hot as I found myself lost in them.

“That… I…” my mouth stammered, failing me.

“Wait is this… do you not remember what you said on the walk home from the tavern?” she asked.

A shot of fear ran through me. “W-what did I say?”

This time she blushed, causing my heart to race. “You, um… you said that you thought I was… uh… was the mos—was pretty and you wished you could marry me?”

“I? Did?” I replied, head spinning slightly.

“Mhm. It really confused me when you said it,” Eka said, eyes moving to a middle space for a moment, no doubt thinking the memories over.

“I—I can imagine…” I muttered.

“So I asked dad, and he explained about how elves are weird and they only get married as an agreement to bring bloodlines together and have kids, so you might not have realised girls are allowed to marry other girls,” she replied.

I found myself staring at her, Eka looking back at me with a soft smile.

“We can…” I mumbled, wondering if I really needed to give my other confession then.

I could just keep up acting like I was a girl for the rest of my life. It didn’t seem hard.

Well, no. She’d probably want to… well, y’know… and there’s no way I’d say no. I’d probably forget until it was too late, and then I’d be left explaining everything while standing naked in front of an angry tall muscular beautiful orcish… I was getting distracted. 

“I… well, there’s a second thing I have to confess, though,” I forced myself to say. “You see, I’m… well, I forgot, so that’s why I didn’t say anything when I was drunk, but it’s… wait, if you were blushing, do you only like girls, or?”

If that was true, it was definitely better not to confess. I’d just have to learn how to resist being invited to the bedroom until I managed to get Tuar’in to show me that little transformation spell. 

No. No. That was dishonest. As appealing as it sounded, a marriage built on lies was doomed.

“I do like girls, but, for guys… I’m not sure? I know I can tell some of them are good looking, but I’m not sure if that’s attraction or, just, perception?” she replied, looking thoughtful.

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I paled once more. 

Well, maybe if I was upfront, but had my body changed for her, she’d be able to look past my flaw of technically being a guy?

“Oh. Anrik, that doesn’t… I see you as the woman you are, don’t worry,” she said with a smile.

What, exactly, that meant, I didn’t quite follow.

“I’m… I’m not, though,” I whispered, scrunching my shoulders up, feeling like I wanted to disappear into myself. “I’m not.”

“Anrik?” she asked, leaning in with a care in her eyes I didn’t feel I deserved.

“I’m actually a… a guy,” I mumbled. “I thought I could keep it a secret, and save up enough money to get out of here, and you’d never have to know, but then I fell in love with you and so…”

“Anrik, you…”

“I should have left already. I’m sorry. I just… I got so caught up in how nice it is here, and the way that living as a girl is so fun and comes so naturally and I forgot, but… I’m sorry,” I said, my voice catching towards the end.

She stared back at me with what looked like… confusion? With… maybe pity or compassion in her eyes?

I had expected anger, so I didn’t really know what that look meant. Confusion, sure, but the caring look that was also there was… why? What about my lies and deception warranted such kindness?

I’d braced for anger, not this. I had no idea where to go from here.

“Sis! Sis! It’s all done!” Zago’s voice called out, the youngest sister of the family running over with a large smile.

Eka blinked, turning to her sister with a smile, though her eyes kept drifting over to me. “That’s good. How do you feel?”

“Great!” Zago replied, her smile having somehow grown larger. “Do I look even cuter than before?”

I raised an eyebrow, not sure what… well, there was something slightly different about her, but I couldn’t quite place what.

“Is this an orcish beauty standards thing?” I asked, thinking she maybe seemed a smidge taller? And… maybe her nose seemed a tiny bit smaller?

“You really couldn’t tell?” Zago asked.

“Zago, you’re still a kid. The differences aren’t very obvious,” Eka said. “Not to mention, Anrik is apparently a lot less knowledgeable about relevant things than I’d thought…”

“What sort of relevant things?” the young orc girl asked, turning to look at me.

“I’m… not sure?” I replied. “But, will you humour me and say what you did?”

Zago nodded. “I… well, I was told that my body was always a ‘girl’s body’ because I’m a girl and it’s mine, but… now it’s a ‘typical’ girl’s body and I’m much happier with that.”

“That…” I started, before realising I still didn’t quite follow. But she seemed happy about it. “Congratulations?”

“Thanks! I need to go tell my friends now! Bye!” she announced, before running off.

I watched her go, still rather confused. Eventually I turned to Eka, hoping for an explanation.

“Was she… sick?” I asked, even if she’d never seemed sick.

Eka stared at me for a moment. “No. She… when she was born we thought she was a boy, but then, as she grew up, we found out she had a girl’s spirit. So she’s had her body changed to match how she wants to look.”

“Oh,” I said, with a nod or two. Then the words sunk in. What they really meant. “She’s so lucky… I wish I could really be a girl, like she is.”

An odd noise escaped Eka. I wasn’t sure if it was from her nose or her mouth, but it was accompanied by her staring at me with her mouth ajar.

“W-well, it would make everything easier. Then I wouldn’t have been lying to you, and it wouldn’t be weird for me to keep living as a girl, and I’d even maybe be able to have been your wi—y’know.”

Eka was quiet for a moment, before nodding. “So you do want to be a girl?”

“Yes? Of course I want to be a girl. I want it so much, now that I’ve had a taste of what it would be like. And now that I know you could love me as one. But wanting to be something isn’t enough to actually be that something,” I said, eyes falling to the ground.

“Hmm… well, when I was little I wanted  to be as good of a fighter as my dad. After years of practice I am. So, maybe if you don’t think wanting alone is enough, then wanting plus practice is the solution,” she said, nodding as she stood up, towering over me again.

“P-pardon?” I asked.

She leaned in, her face less than a hand’s length from mine. My heart began to beat hard enough it felt like it was trying to escape my chest.

“Maybe you just need practice being a girl,” she said, smiling as she did so. “I’d be happy to help you out, by letting you practice being my girlfriend.”

“Th-th-tha—”

I couldn’t get much else out before her lips were brushing against mine, her tusks tickling the edges of my mouth in a way that made kissing her feel so sooo very natural. When she started pulling away I found my lips chasing after hers, and, the next thing I knew she’d lifted me off my feet, her strong arms holding me in the air as she launched back into a new, more passionate, kiss.

I felt ready to melt in her muscular grip, her large strong hands providing a delightful sort of pressure against my back.

“Mmmhm,” she said, as we both broke for air. “So, how’s that for practice?”

I smiled up at her, body awash with joy. “I think I’d like more lessons like that.”

“Very happy to provide,” she replied, before leaning in for another kiss.

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