[This chapter is dedicated to iambeautygmail. Thank you for showering our story with your power stones. Your support is greatly appreciated.]
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Jess sighed audibly after taking a sip of her coffee. She hated acting like a whiny bitch but then she couldn't help being one with how things were going with her and Noah.
"Lucille is enrolled in some advanced classes in Berlin Institute for the Gifted. Nicole enrolled Lucille there even before she came to live with me. It's the main reason why I'm going to Berlin earlier than I intended to do. But, baby, I'm planning to fly back often, hence, I didn't think much of it. It would be like I'm gone for a few days…you'll be busy in the lab and--
"So, you think it was okay to not let me know about your plan because you thought it won't change anything?" She asked, stopping Noah with his explanation. She chewed on her lower lip because she doesn't like how her words sounded, even in her own ears. Not to mention, Noah flinched helplessly with her words. It doesn't feel good to see Noah being torn from his work and her whiny ass.
"Baby, I'm sorry. I do. Things got busy…" He raised his hand and added hastily. "I know it's not a valid excuse, I should have told you. The same way that I should have told you honestly about my meeting with Stellar. I have no excuse for why I lied. It was plain wrong and a fault on my side."
Jess sighed softly this time. She understood what Noah was saying and she believed him when he said he didn't mean to hide things from her. She knew how busy he can be, especially now with the upcoming annual board and shareholders meeting of his company. She wanted to be a supportive girlfriend, and Noah was right that she's going to be too busy in the lab anyway. She was actually planning to tell him about it. But then, her emotions were all over the place.
"Are you okay?" She softly asked.
Noah smiled gently and pulled her to his arms, kissing both her eyelids. "I love you, baby. Sorry for hurting your feelings."
Jess pouted her lips. "As I told you many times, all I wanted was for you to tell me those things. What hurt was the fact that you chose to hide them to the point of lying."
He rubbed her arm, cradled the back of her head in his palm, and pulled her for a kiss. "It won't happen again, I promise." He murmured against her lips, moist from the kiss.
"You better be!" She hit his back with her fist. Remember, I broke Luke's shoulder for merely disturbing me from my nap."
Noah laughed. "I'm trembling in fear, minx."
She clicked her tongue as she circled her arms around his neck. "Can you tell me about your meetings with Stellar?"
Noah stared straight into her eyes and gently caressed her cheeks with his knuckles. "Stellar is a friend and my counselor. The stigma of meeting a real psychiatrist with the position I'm aiming for is a bit…" He cocked his head to the side and sighed. "It shouldn't be but most members of the board and some shareholders were old geezers that had a different stance about seeing a professional when it comes to mental health."
"You mean, Stellar isn't a psychiatrist?" Her eyes widened in disbelief.
"She's a hippie." He laughed. "She hates me calling her that."
"But why are you seeing her if she's not…and then…"Her eyes narrowed at him. "You said you are seeking professional help--
"Her brother-in-law."
"Huh?" She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"There is something wrong with my head, my brain rather." His tone of voice lowered to a whisper as if he was sharing something that was quite embarrassing to tell. "Stellar's brother-in-law is a neurologist. When I abused my body with alcohol," he leaned back to the headboard, carrying her in his arms still. "I can't let anyone in the company know that I have some medical issues."
Understanding dawned on Jess. Noah was aiming to hold a position in the family company that would require him to be in mint health condition. "Can I ask what's wrong with your brain?" She whispered from the crock of his neck.
"I have some memory lapses."
Jess stiffened with what Noah said. That one sentence was like a missing cog in the complex array of questions inside her head. Memory lapses would explain clearly why Noah didn't remember some part of their first encounter. A part of her was relieved to know that he didn't deliberately forget her but a small part of her was sad. With all things that happened that night, the part that she held dear was what he forgot.
"Do you completely forget everything?" She asked with her voice trembling.
Noah misunderstood the shaking of her body as fear of forgetting things about them. He cupped her face in his hands and smiled reassuringly. "I'm better now. No more memory lapses. I took some meds long time ago, I stop drinking alcohol, and my last brain scan showed no indication of recurring health problem." He grinned at her. "There is no way in hell, I would forget you." He dipped his lips to her parting lips, closing his eyes—to savor the kiss—that it escaped him the hurt in Jess's eyes.
Jess watched the clearance of unanswered questions inside her head like a pond riffled, dropped with stones when she heard Noah's statement. It produces more questions and aches in her heart.
She could just ask Noah about it since he was willing to tell her everything. But her pride that was being pricked and bruised didn't allow her to utter the word. She kissed him back with all the uncertainties in her heart. She let herself be swept away with his sweet kisses and watched herself drown in her own insecurities. When Noah lifted his mouth from hers, she kept her eyes closed and murmured.. "I love you."