Chapter 11: CHAPTER 11 DROUOT’S LECTURES

“Elves are loved by mana because of one thing, their beauty. You see, mana is actually a very disgusting pervert. Sometimes, they are just jerks that desire violence. I am telling you, the number of disasters I witnessed in my youth is 9 out of 10 caused by mana

“Now, where was I? Aaah, the elves. You see, this race possesses an immense amount of mana and is worshipped by humans as gods. I want you to think about it. Are these two connected? Is being worshipped have any relationship to possessing ginormous mana?

“Do you see where I was trying to go? The amount of mana a person possesses is directly proportional to popularity. It is crazy, right? I submitted a thesis about it, and after that, I was called crazy. But think, is there any way what I was saying is false?

“This is why I try to personify mana so that I can establish an easier connection with it. I am proud to say, that mana control is one of my specialties.

“In my opinion, young man, why you cannot perceive mana is because you are unknown. ‘Mana’ doesn’t know you thus it doesn’t show itself to you. Even how spirits choose their master is the same, it all goes down to a popularity contest!

“Have you ever seen an unpopular magic knight? Maybe there are ugly magic knights out there but they are as rare as the manaless who is but 1% of the population. Think, why do nobles have enormous mana?

“Prestige, authority, control, power, influence, status, spiritual power, charisma - mana is a supernatural force in a person, place, or object. This is one of the many definitions of mana. The exceptions are the manaless! You, young man, are not manaless. I’ve felt it, though paltry, you have mana in you.

“Simply put, you are blind to mana!”

W-w-ww-wait! Wait, damn it! I want to unhear it, but this theory sounds too convincing. The anime’s magic knights are basically like this! But, hell no! There is no way in hell I’ll believe this theory. Magic is dependent on popularity? That’s the weirdest shit ever!

Old man Drouot continues with his lecture.

“Now, let us talk about bloodlines. Do you know? The purest of mana in the human body is detected in the blood. Why? Is blood popular? No, that’s too dumb. It is because blood is an individual’s essence. Without it, we lose our identity as humans, as ourselves as us.

“In a sense, bloodline is an indirect contributor to the ‘popularity contest’ when you are born. Why peasants tend to have low mana is because of their birth, lifestyle, and thinking. In this world, mana is a kind of resource in which only ‘perspectives’ are its supplier.

“In this monopoly, we are its customers.”

Uttering the word ‘customers’ with a heavy emphasis Drouot points at human and elf figurines standing atop the table. Old man Drouot’s lecture is too mind-blowing! I was thinking of mana as energy, a force of nature, or a particle.

But no, it isn’t like that. In a sense, Drouot’s explanation is very magical.

There is a long silence between us. Drouot is giving me time to think and digest his lecture. If mana were like what the teacher describes. Then it all makes sense.

I am an otherworlder, a singularity, which doesn’t have any record of existence in this world. To mana, I am nobody. While I possess Aaron Jester’s body, I don’t possess his data. That means his memories, his way of thinking, and his mark.

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What Drouot means by asking myself ‘who is mana’, is by designating a personality to mana, you can exhibit your rights to connect with it. This is… very magical. The world of Black Clover is certainly full of magic.

Slowly, through my own interpretation of Dorout’s lectures, I am understanding what mana is. Every people has a mark. Some create ripples, some create waves. I do not have this mark as I am new to this world.

The world possesses mana, people possess mana, and… we… are mana. People use mana by calling to it. That’s why magic knights in the anime call their magic spell’s name when they cast it.

To me, it doesn’t make sense that they should shout out their moves’ names before they act them out. However, now, I think differently. What Drouot is trying to tell me is… mana is alive.

I dig deep inside my memories. I want to see it, I want to see just ‘who’ mana to me is. Triggering the most intense memory in my head, I descend into my mental world.

In a lonely studio room, a young man is silently lying in his bed listening to chopin in his earphones. That young man was me in high school.

As it was a memory, I can also hear the music in my ears. These are one of the few things I will be missing as I live my days here in the world of Black Clover.

The young man who is listening to the music is crying a downpour of tears. I know this. This was me after my breakup. Even now, I cannot forget that breakup. I am the kind of person that finds difficulty in moving on.

I am a stuck-up who hates to say goodbye, to give up, and also… to hate. That Ex of mine, I cannot hate her, that’s why I am crying. The young man in front of me continues to pathetically cry.

Mana is like my Ex, she’s a scrooge who rarely pays you attention, an elite who’d ditch you any minute she finds you useless, and she’s a fake. I resent her, but not enough to condemn the beautiful memories we share.

The thing is, I don’t truly ‘love’ her, in a sense, as I was a two-timing bastard. Pathetic, right?

If it comes to it, I’ll date her best friend who I equally don’t love. It is a ‘like’ that borders love, I think. The thing is, I already dated that best friend. I see ‘real love’ almost sprout.

Sadly, the ‘almost’ didn’t develop into ‘real’. I am scum for making excuses like this, but I regret nothing. I also do not regret the fact that while two-timing girls I have a fascination with, I was cowardly watching the girl of my dreams study for college.

I imagine that girl to be my true love but was too weak to admit it.

…