Chapter 60: CHAPTER 60 TOO MANY MUSHROOMS

Jack would be lying if he said he is not feeling disappointed that no one is chasing him. “Kekekeke~ bunch of pussies…” He snidely comments, but truthfully, he is just too shy to admit his defeat.

While this is a textbook strategic retreat, it is still a fact that Jack chose to run away instead of fighting. As someone who fancies himself a battle maniac, Jack is very disappointed in himself.

“Tsk. That can wait for another day. For now, I have to deliver this information to Aaron.”

Jack gazes at the plain copper ring on his index finger. This is a Magic Tool that shares the coordinates of those who wear it. Another item from Drouot, which Aaron bought using Mereoleona’s money.

The sharing of coordinates is purely intuitive and is more of a psychic trace in the air, so its accuracy isn’t really the best.

But who is Jack? He is a veteran hunter, and tracking is but one of his few skills.

“Kekeke~ reveal yourselves!”

Stopping in the open clearing full of grasses and daisies, Jack suddenly halts his steps. With a thought, he summons his magical blades from his arms and legs.

“Chill, man… It’s me… Aaron.”

Jack looked at where the voice is coming from. What he saw was Aaron who has barely any clothes on him.

~~~

I’ll be honest. The fucking mutated double-headed griffin is a jerk. What kind of magical beast evolves mid-fight? What is this? Pokemon? What kind of evolution splits a creature into two, and then multiplies its battle strength individually!?

This is too much!

Now, after beating the lion into a pulp, I can’t help but withdraw my killing intent.

Look at that tubby cat. That’s one round fat ass. Though the glorious mane was no more, the aloofness of this proud beast cannot still be hidden. The tubby cat reminds me of Garfield a lot.

“Tsk. What is this? Beat them enough and they’ll devolve? What? Did you eat an everstone or something?”

“Meow,” Though it’s only that, I think, I was able to ‘hear’ what that meow really meant. “Nya, you bastard, want to eat my shit?”

You, cat, are lucky that I am a cat person, lest I annihilate you.

Veins are clearly popping from my forehead because of the insult, but what am I? As someone who prides himself as a cat person, I won’t let this cat just walk over on me.

“Hehehe,” Truth is… among cat people, I am on the ‘detestable’ side. “I believe when it comes to cats, the one who is being ruled over is always the hooman.”

I walk to the cat in a rush. I don’t dare underestimate it despite its weakened form.

Almost instantly, I arrive at the cat’s rear. I grab it by the nape of its neck and level its eyes with mine. “Hey, do you want to be my cat?”

“Nya, die you, bastard.”

“If you become my cat, I’ll let you conquer the world.”

“???”

Hmmm… I see the lights of greed momentarily flash through the cat’s eyes. Don’t get me wrong. I am aware of how much people ‘think’ I am crazy even before I came to this world.

I just want to say, I might not be an expert in cat psychology, but when it comes to knowing ‘cat ambitions’, trust me that ‘conquering the world’ is definitely one of them.

“You want to rule over humanity, right? Don’t lie to me, I know that look.” I poke at the cat’s desires, and slowly I see its hesitation overwhelming its rationality.

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Come to think of it, I have a knack for talking to beasts, huh? I guess this is related to my second magic attribute.

“Really, nya?”

“Really, I promise!”

 “Cat pawmise!”

“Yes, Catpawmise!”

The once lion now cat stretches one of its paws as if asking for a handshake. I comply.

Just like that, the two of us shook hands or paws? Hmmm… Shook our thingy… Yep, that’s the word, and it sounds dirty. I like it.

“Now, cat, help me subdue that rampaging eagle in the skies. It will be your first subordinate.”

Just like that, I made progress toward world peace.

~~~

“Cat, giant, and man join forces to fight one eagle. In the end, I was able to calm the feisty bird through my marvelous negotiation skills!”

I summarize what happened during my ‘escort’ mission to Jack. Oooh! That was really one hell of a fight.

“Wait, wait, wait… You are glossing too much on the important things. Cat? Eagle? Giant? Negotiation? How about the kids?”

It looks like Jack is not getting it. I can’t blame him. For a side quest, I think it really is too much even for someone as OP as me.

From my shoulders, little beasties appear one by one. “Here, look to my shoulders. On my left is birdy, and on my right is kitty… You see, I don’t know what name to give them so let’s settle with that.”

I unwittingly add. “Oh, and don’t worry about the kids, I left him with a giant. He is a good guy. I think, he was the Diamond Kingdom’s adjutant general. We became pals. So don’t worry about Domi and Fanz, they’ll be safe since they are fellow citizens anyway.”

“You became friends with the adjutant general!?” Jack’s jaws are agape.

Who would even believe this tall tale? An escaped convict befriending an adjutant general? Well, if it is Aaron and his shenanigans, it might be possible… Jack starts thinking of this positively.

He doesn’t really know much about Aaron aside from the hearsay, and the short moment they have been together. What Jack is sure of, is that a lot of interesting things are happening while he was tagging along with Aaron.

“Oh, how about the negotiation part? Did the adjutant general ask you for something?” Jack concernedly asks Aaron about the most important details he left out.

“That? Nah, the adjutant general was a nice guy. We formed a friendship while we are in the heat of the battle. He is not someone who’ll demand stuff from a friend.”

“Then, what is it?”

“As I said, I negotiated with the magic beasts. This cat here agreed on becoming my cat by promising it the world. Meanwhile, the birdy here agreed on helping me if I offer it a goat every week.”

“…”

Jack doesn’t know what to say anymore. Truthfully, Jack was still in disbelief that the two little beasts sitting by Aaron’s shoulders’ are magic beasts.

“What in the world did you eat? Did you have too many mushrooms?”

At this point, Jack has long forgotten the really important thing he should be reporting right now.

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