Chapter 142: [Vol.2] Quest 127.5- Vulnerable

Affection, it’s something everyone wants in their lives.

To hug ones family and friends. To hold the one you love in your hands. These feelings are special to each person, but are taken for granted at the time.

Up to this point Cirrus has considered himself a child soldier, a path he willingly walked down, even if he didn’t wish for it, it was still bound to happen in this era. He didn’t have many friends the only ones he would consider friends would be Nox, Circe, and Eupheme. Fels and Lenoa felt more of family then anything and Ouranos he felt like a somewhat distant uncle who would look out for him but would let him tumble and fall for them to learn. Everyone he met are all far away in other cities or even countries.

But what of Ai? Since that kiss traveling back to Orario he thought on it and he found it a bit hard. He had felt a strong emotion he never really experienced. Even in his past life he never really did connect with the people he went on dates with as he did with Ai but why?

He wondered how love actually felt. Was it like how they portray in the stories and movies? Was it actually that great that it caused Paris and Helen to elope back to Troy? Was it great enough to make anyone stupid and say such ridiculous stuff?

 

Cirrus laid there with Ai in his arms looking up at the tent. He turned to her to see her sleeping face.

Maybe this is it? Maybe this is love. To see one at their most vulnerable and simply just want to hold them.

A memory went through his head, he remembered one scene in particular in a movie, the name had long left him but the words the man said was as clear as red on white.

“..but you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin’ like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever.”

Seeing her sleeping face he couldn’t help but see her vulnerability. Even now Cirrus felt on guard in case of monsters but her? She was asleep like a log. So he thought to himself.

‘…Can I be vulnerable like her?’

He rose his open left hand and held it up. He could see the blood and death he did while acting as the Golden-Horned Demon. Forgiveness on what he did was something he couldn’t bring himself to do. Acceptance was something he could do and that he did, he accepted what he was doing and made peace with himself, those he killed will be the ones he carry with him.

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‘I…I will one day have to tell you that part of my life…no I hope that day never comes.’

“Hmm…Mm cold.” Ai hugged him tightly.

The feeling of her warm flesh upon his made him think.

‘Maybe…maybe this is it. This warm full feeling in the heart that makes me want to keep her.’

“Is this love?” He said ever so softly into her ears and remembered her.

Her white hair getting dirty after being knocked down, the angry expression she had getting up to fight him again. The tips of her fox ears twitching from the smallest of sounds and movement, her tail wagging based on her emotions, it was always easy to tell how she was based on it. Her amethysts eyes brilliant as the stars in the sky or the light shimmering off the sea. Her horribly and painful habit of headbutting you to greet you when she was a kid and rarely even now. The expression her face makes when she eats something sour, her dreadful smile and puffed up cheeks when she’s mad.

‘Her smile…that bright smile always manages to make my day…was that it?’

She hugged him even more tightly then before and a sense of comfort overwhelmed him.

‘Ah...my stress and doubts wash away...I want this, I don't want to lose this.'

His eyes slowly close as he hugged her tightly as to never let her go and whispers into her ears…

“I love you.”

As he falls asleep her ears twitch.

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