Chapter 308: Sometimes, It Really Isn’t Fair (part Three)

I just stared at Viola- moved my left hand over her head and patted her. It was a miracle that I could move my left arm at all, let alone do a bit of patting- but it didn't matter. "I'm sorry. I never meant to use you. It must have been tough- but- whether you believe me or not- I- I will never discard you." I didn't know who I was mimicking but the words felt cheap. "You see, I have to fight a demon god- I just have to. He's very strong and because of that, I have to get stronger. I don't know if I'll live or die. I don't know. That's why I didn't want to marry you and that's why I'm leaving." I touched her cheeks and tried to wipe her tears. It wasn't working. 

After all, I couldn't even convince myself, let alone someone else. 

A new stream of tears started coming down from her eyes. "Then take me with you. Then- make me believe you will take my responsibility. Then love me!" She dropped the knife on the floor and came for my lips. 

Though I did kiss her on instinct, I stopped her a second later. "As I said, I already have a fiancée and I love her. I cannot see you the same way." Besides, I was about to die soon.

"I don't care. I will also marry you, so it shouldn't be a problem." She proceeded to kiss me again. 

I chuckled, "Then how about you get ten more years under your belt? You're too young to be my type."

She almost slapped me when I said that but she didn't. She held back.

She started to get down from the bed and leave. She looked like a disaster, honestly. She looked the suicidal type in that one moment. 

'You pretended so far-'

I stopped her and dragged her inside my blanket: it wasn't that cold but- I wanted to be a bit cozy. I wasn't wearing my shirt, but I did have pants on, so it wasn't that much of an issue.

'The least you can do is finish it.'

"I thought I wasn't your type?" Her voice was small.

"You're not. But- are you willing to spend the night with me, knowing I'd die in under three months? Knowing even if you bear my child, I won't be here as the boy's father? Knowing, you can never be my number one?"

She rested her head on my shoulder. "I don't care. I love you and want you to accept me." Her words were soft and her cheeks were wet. Unlike me, her feelings were real.

She didn't have perfume, she didn't have anything special going on for her. I could bet she didn't even know what sex even was.

I smiled. "Alright then." I hugged her and made her my pillow. Nothing more and nothing less. 

I mean, she was too young. Even if she looked eighteen, even if my lighting rod was pointing towards the heavens, I wasn't going to do something against my sense of morality. 

Of course, even that was fake but- sometimes you just had to fake it till you make it.

The girl hugged me too. "Didn't you say men put that in that place?" She tried to reach my crotch but I didn't let her. 

This girl, this little girl knew nothing, and yet she wanted to be with me. I could respect that, but I couldn't abide by that.

"As I said, you're too young. If you're still interested in me after three more years, I'll make love to you all night. How does that sound?" My words sounded cheaper, the more I talked. 

What the hell was wrong with me? Usually, I could talk with a calm demeanor even if I was turned on, even if I was going through pain, even if I was experiencing a loss. I could at least be calm about it: okay, maybe not always. But- this time, I felt like I was just copying someone else because I didn't know what to do anymore. 

How did I talk? Was I even the same person?

She paused for a second. "Can you promise me you won't die?"

Her words reverberated in my mind over and over again. Not die, huh?

"I promise." For the first time, I felt like my lying wasn't exactly bad. Somewhere along the way, I guess my lying skills had finally improved. 

Or was it that the girl was just a bit too naïve? 

I didn't know.

She hugged me too and with a final kiss she proceeded to just close her eyes: my right hand was still pinned, this time by her head. I really hope it'd still be alive the next time I open my eyes. 

Her breath fell on my neck. "I love you and I'll trust you."

I didn't reply, kissed her on the forehead and just stayed like that. I really didn't know what to do.

It was kind of hard to not think about certain things when my rising star was literally pressing against her thigs though. but oh well. 

She was soft and it was a pain to try to keep my urges in place but- but, I had my morals, I had my ideals and I wasn't a monster. At least, not yet. 

Besides, I still saw her as a little sister.

'I've pretended so far, the least I can do is take this to my grave.'

Well, having a rather soft pillow was enough to make me fall asleep after a certain time. I still had loads and loads of worries but- maybe having someone with you, someone who loved you was a good enough reason to be relaxed for a change. 

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***

Yawn.

So, after a good night's sleep, when I finally woke up- I was in for a surprise. 

There was just Viola on my bed- still in her lingerie. Her nightgown was kind of hanging from her side of the bed. She was currently hugging my right hand- good to know it was still alive.

However, there were three girls and a bunny in my room, the bunny was glaring very intently while Alisa just sat on a stool, reading her book as usual, and the half-elf was staring out the window. 

"We're getting late. Let's go," Ve said. Her tone wasn't very friendly. 

According to my internal clock, it was probably around nine. By this time we usually finished training and here I was, still in bed with a beautiful fox girl clinging to my arm. 

I guess her rage was justified.

I made Viola unhand me- carefully- and slowly got out of the bed. I was only wearing a pant- so I needed a shirt. 

To my surprise, I could actually move. And I'd forgotten about the fact that I was supposed to rest for three days. "Hey, my body actually feels better than usual."

Plus I could move my left arm just like I could do with the right. It was almost as though the hand was never gone!

"It would seem that you're curse is on the verge of being activated. I was careless. You should have never used that gauntlet and to that extent." Alisa was still reading her book but- her face was covered in sweat. "I shouldn't have pushed you."

I sighed. "Well, I'll go get fresh, and then we can practice."

"Right," Ve said, looking a bit disheartened. 

Meanwhile, Biteria didn't glare anymore and just followed me around. 

I actually had to walk to the opposite side to get my shirt and she followed me even when I came back.

I'd forgotten that this thing was pretty sentient. "If only it'd take that cute-"

In an instant, Biteria shrunk and got on top of my shoulder and looked at me with cute- shimmering eyes. Were my feelings that transparent or could it read minds?

Ah, this feeling…

Ah, this tenderness…

Ah, this weight!

My Biteria!

I almost jumped in joy as I rubbed my whole face in her luscious fur. 

And a second later I jumped in pain as she bit my nose. 

"You damn bunny!" I kind of forced her to let go but still kept her on my shoulder. 

A bit of blood dripped down.

Sigh. 'This thing will never change.' She still made me smile though. 

And before I realized, the blood stopped and started healing. "Well, that's convenient."

The half-elf grimaced when I said that. "Yes, it is very convenient but it comes at a great cost." She didn't look at me. 

Well, I knew what cost. But at this point, I just decided to accept it. But deep down- I knew I was just putting up an act. An act that made me want to cower into a corner but- I had to do this, I had to act. After all, sometimes you had to fake it till you made it. 

In my case, I'd just die.

"Anyway, let's go V."

"It's Veniolar XERCES, you moron. Are you incapable of remembering just a simple name?"

Those were two names though.

I chuckled and went out of the room with Biteria.. I did see Viola wake up but didn't wait for her.

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