Chapter 5: Chapter. 5: Shifting Approach

“Haaa…” I exhaled deeply, running out of air. My hands were perched atop the stone railing of the second floor of my apartment building. 

I looked into the distance holding the calling⁠— business card, or rather a piece of it that I had ripped. It had a bit of my blood, but it wasn’t important. Everything was non-important, not even the weirdness of my roommate or my questions. I looked down the railing, seeing the parking spots for the cars there. Some were taken and others weren’t. 

My gaze followed along and looked at the people walking along the streets, some were happy others rather neutral and one or two in a sour mood. People passed and talked to each other, others looked at their phones and others just appreciated the scenery. 

The setting sun on the horizon caught my attention. The sunset was rather beautiful compared to the Underworld, its orange glow encompassing the place. It would’ve been a joyous sight normally, but… 

“This is stupid…” I muttered, fiddling with the piece of business card. The other half ended up somewhere after Ash took it. “This training is stupid.” I sighed. 

What was I meant to be doing here? There was little to no death⁠. Grim Reapers, generally speaking, took souls and guided them elsewhere, away from their original realm. The Underworld could be said to be connected everywhere. But this place⁠— earth ⁠— was peaceful. There was no anguish or fighting. 

I hadn’t been to any more realms after the lizardman visit. But I knew it was abnormal. I just felt… unneeded. I liked happiness around me; this place was peaceful; a place where happiness should've been easier. But it was a bit more complicated than that. 

I just thought— I stopped myself from going in a downward spiral. I thought it would be simpler. I didn't think humans in this world were oblivious to Elysium. I tried a few times, I really tried. I mean, you’d think they wouldn’t mind it since it wasn’t the ending, but they didn’t know any better. Which upset me a bit. 

I had called it the human world, but I was sure there were other realms with humans. This was just my first experience in one. 

Though I did look human myself. So I could blend in even if I was fundamentally different. I could still remember my first interaction in this realm, it happened right after crossing the rift. A man running in weird neon clothes and some oddly shaped black visors. Glasses? The term escaped me. 

That was the first person I approached. 

                               .                                                   .                                       .

    .          How did it go?     .

Right. He was sprinting somewhere though not hurried. I signaled for him to stop.          .            .                                       .            .                     .

           The man paused and looked at me in confusion. Removing the things in his ears he asked. What do you need?                     .                .

                                  Death. I paused, seeing his expression shift. Do you look forward to it?               .                           .     .             .          .     .           

  He pondered for a second before sighing. No I do not. His mood shifted ever so slightly. If it’s for a school project I understand, but it’s a weird question.     .

    .  .             . 

            .   I was confused. Thank you. I told him.        .    

                            .  .             .                   And then he left, continuing to run.              .

                                                .     .   Perhaps I didn’t ask with enough enthusiasm                        

                                                       . .

But there were always more people to ask.                 .                           .        .         .

                                                            .

There was a kid. 

  There was a woman. 

      There was a man.

                        .

                                  Then there was the mother and son that I gave candy to.                                             .

                           And then there was the old man.                            .

                                                                             .

                                .                                         Was I really supposed to be here?                   .

                                                                             .

I sighed, ending my stream of thoughts. 

There was no point in wondering about it. While I was initially excited, I didn’t manage my expectations. I mean, realistically almost every single realm I had heard of sounded better than the Underworld. Yes, the Underworld was primal ⁠— but there was also society, while simple; there was buildings and civilization. Just a lot of wilderness too, and a lot of wretched things. 

Happiness wasn’t common there, but it was there, albeit twisted. I just thought death would be happy for people here. Another sigh escaped me, I felt slightly depressed. Part of it was expecting too much and the other one was the realization.

Death didn’t seem to be happy around here, and that was… alright. It was alright… Not something to worry about… I recalled my other conversations that I had not too long ago. Among the five or so people I tried to talk to, it went kinda bad with numbers two and five.

Both of them simply dismissed me out-right by saying they are busy, when in reality. They just didn’t want to talk to me. I could just feel it. It would be a lie to say it didn’t upset me. Because it certainly did. 

The first, third and fourth people weren’t too bad. They actually bothered to talk to me. The problem was some of the reactions. I didn’t even ask about death this time around either. And one of them even got mad at me for simply asking… 

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What makes me happy? Why do you care? He scoffed.

Happiness? I don’t know, never think of it. He shrugged.

Eh? Making me happy? Something? Haha, no way! She laughed.

Were people really that adverse to happiness? No that isn’t it. I hadn’t been here for long, my only experiences with happiness were rather limited, I hadn’t met many humans, though surprisingly there were some in the Underworld. But with so many realms connected I suppose it wasn’t too surprising. 

I guess it’s because⁠— I paused having a realization. I looked at the sunset. 

I hadn’t talked to a lot of people in general. People in the Underworld weren’t conversation friendly. All I had was dad. Needless to say, even leaving the residence was scary. I didn’t want someone to get mad at me and get aggressive. Even though it was easy to avoid due to my abilities, I never wanted to put it to the test. 

I never talked to a lot of people in the Underworld. But I understood the place, because it was my home. I had lived there for a long time. I had seen and heard things, I had felt things. I understood that happiness was weird for them, the concept was always bubbly in my feelings, but theirs was twisted. 

Smiling upon killing their prey. Smiling upon inflicting harm to others. Smiling upon surviving. It always involved a one sided deal. But even if it was brief, the kid I had given the candy to was happy. I didn’t understand it. But it wasn’t one sided. There was one thing I understood that I was missing. 

I didn’t have enough experience living in this place. That was why I had to involve myself in this world’s society more. I had to… get a job… I was unsure actually. 

But, if I had a job I’d be a functional member of society. If I had a job I’d get to understand people at a deeper level without actually coming off as weird. It seemed to me like my random approaches startled people at some level. 

I looked at the sun again. Its orange haze captivated me and even relaxed me, everything was tinted in its radiance. I had to get a job⁠— I have to get a job. I smiled. If I got a job I would understand how to make people happy! 

Perhaps it wasn’t so straightforward, but I was sure I could figure it out. Once I knew how to be sensible, I could approach the topic of death! Sensibly. So it wouldn’t make people mad! Maybe then, I’d get to convince people about Elysium and the happiness that awaits them!

Now that I think of it… Ash did mention she had a job. What kind of job could she have? 

She was peculiar, for lack of a better word. I mean, just imagining her as a server in one of the restaurants I had seen… Hehe… 

I could already see it playing out in my head. 

“How may I take your order?” She pauses. “Actually nevermind.” 

“Hehe.” 

I actually wondered what kind of job would hire someone like her. Though perhaps she acted differently on the job it was a fun thought to entertain. Actually it might’ve not been fully accurate as a scenario. Perhaps it would play out more like⁠—

“How may I take your⁠— Actually nevermind.” Begins eating chips. 

That sounded more like her to be honest. I had stopped paying attention to her eating, but I don’t think she ever stopped eating in our entire conversation, well aside from the occasional pauses. 

“Well, my life has just started.” I murmured happily seeing the sunset. I couldn’t be feeling down just yet, perhaps it was a rough start. But there were a lot of things to do! 

I smiled as I saw it slowly fade over the horizon, the orange warmth slowly fading into a darker color. The footsteps of the people slowly vanished among with them. This is nice. Everything was so peaceful. I closed my eyes. And… relaxed. 

How long had it been? Since I last relaxed. I couldn’t remember. Emotions affected me all my life⁠— they had always been so strong. But this time around it was mute and peaceful. Though, it wasn’t perfect. A hurried feeling intruded my thoughts, and I began to hear footsteps coming from the stairwell.

I turned to look at the source. Oh. It was Mr. Sullivan. I turned to look at the business card on my hand⁠— well the piece of it that was remaining of it, with the blood on it too ⁠— I stuffed it into my pocket as he walked closer. His eyes landed on me, he smiled amicably as he made his way over to me.

“Ah, Kaiti, here are your keys.” He pulled them out of his pocket. It was a ring with two keys that made a small rattle. 

I extended my hand and received them. “Thank you Mr Sullivan.” He began to turn away. “Ah, wait. Can I have another call⁠—business card?” 

“Hmm?” His eyes landed back on me, making me smile awkwardly. I couldn’t tell him I basically ripped the last one in half, right? “Sure, I guess. I am assuming you lost it, right? It’s somewhat common, no need to be ashamed.” He smiled at me, feeling slightly happy. 

He pulled out a box from his pocket and popped it open. He pulled a card like the one from before and gave it to me. 

“T-Thanks.” Why was he happy? I mean, it was just slightly. But why? 

“Take care Kaiti, do give me a call if anything happens.” He turned away with a smile and waved. 

“Do take care too!” I meekly waved at him, making him chuckle. 

What did I say that made him so happy? He was feeling slightly annoyed or uninterested. But now he was happy, and left in a good mood even! Did I make him happy? I smiled. Perhaps I didn’t know what I did to make him happy, but I felt happy nonetheless. 

I turned around and went back into my apartment, the keys fitting nicely into the keyhole. I switched and then used the other key and pushed. 

Eh, it was locked? I tried again, switching both and pushed. I locked myself out? No no⁠— I thought about it. One at a time. I tried first with the top lock, the one that felt heavy to turn and⁠— pushed. 

The door opened. 

I did it! I heard a phone ring in a weird bell-like sound, though it wasn’t my phone since I didn’t feel it shake inside my pockets. Whose phone could it be? Oh! It was probably my roommates! I went inside to see what kind of phone call she was getting. However… 

Why is she getting angry?