CHAPTER 14 – A LOVE STORY

Since the two bases were so close to each other and the war at the moment concentrated only on them, the dancers had to follow the order by the two commanders to remain on the Democratic base and to continue entertaining the soldiers until receiving a new order. Ashraff and his soldiers, and Barney, Stone and his soldiers became frustrated and bitter upon hearing reports that Monro, Aswad and their governments, the Chiefs of Staff and their top brass were enjoying themselves in pools, expensive restaurants, theater, football and basketball games and wherever they could amuse themselves and misbehave, acting as if the war did not exist and if it did, it was on another planet and not in the “Fata Morgana” desert...It seemed like the war did not interest them and did not keep sleep from their eyes, which longed  for worldly pleasures ...but at any given time they were eager to praise, for the TV cameras, their leadership, their wisdom, their worship of the army, their love and concern for their soldiers who they compared to their own  sons! They took pride and praised the just, the right, and the holy war that was forced upon them by their evil and cruel enemy! It was announced on TV that  Monro would appear in a new show at the request of the audience  to answer their questions.

One of the viewers asked: “Mr. President Monro, what do you think will happen after the war is over?”

“The war has some considerable advantages in technological and intellectual levels! We are going to win the war and in that way we will encourage and increase production of quicker, more powerful, and more frightening weapons, which will protect us from the next war...The end of the war will expedite the establishment of new Hi-Tech companies for weapons production that to my great joy are already at my disposal and will help me to become the greatest producer in the world of Hi-tech weapons and computer technology.”

Another viewer: “So Mr. President admits that the war was created for the personal benefits of leaders and not due to a fake conflict between countries or regional and global problems that in actuality do not exist?”

Monro screams at the broadcaster:

 “This stupid man, traitor...does not understand anything! Get him off the air; he is causing  great damage to me and to the power of the Democratic Organization with this talk! Instead of blaming me for no reason, he should know along with the rest of the country’s citizens that there’s no one in the world who loves the Democratic Organization more than I do! I have always put the benefit of the Democratic Organization in first place, the good of the country, the welfare of the citizens, and the Democratic army deterrent capabilities! We will win this war and future wars! Barney and my companies will ensure that the Selected Democratic Organization will always be the strongest of all!”

Monro sat in his office talking with the government members and with the top brass. As they took turns  praising his wisdom, ethics, and his decency and added words of admiration and importance about themselves, Monro received a phone call. It was from Ahmad Madali, the new President of Libya, the 18-year-old grandson of ex-President Madali and his business contact person with different Arabic and Muslim countries.

Ahmad addressed Monro as a friend:

“Hello, my brother Monro, are you alone? I need to speak to you privately. This is important.”

Monro turned to everyone.

“I have a private call. Please leave the room. When I’m done, I'll ask you to come back.” They stared at him and left the room.

“Yes, my brother Ahmad, I’m  alone now, what’s the matter?”

“Listen, I have a great deal for you. There is an Arab country that is interested in buying rifles, machine guns, bullets for all types of weapons, the entire equipment that the soldiers need, trucks, Hummers, armored personnel carriers (APC) and helicopters. They want everything made by the Democratic Organization. They don't know that it’s actually from your companies and your factories. According to your price list, the value of the deal is 500 million dollars. You will pay me a commission of ten million dollars, to the ordering country's head of  state  you will pay a commission of another 15 million dollars and your commission will be whatever you decide. Are you interested or should I go to your competitors: Chinese, Israelis, or maybe Russians?”

Monro cried furiously.

“My brother, are you mad? You and the other party are now placing the order I am taking the order. We just closed this deal. How do you say: luck and blessing? The order will arrive at its destination within ten days. Once the money enters my bank account, I will transfer your commission to you and to the party placing the order. Tell me, I am curious, which country is involved in this deal? Who ordered the weapons?” Ahmad hesitated.

“I’m not supposed to tell you but let it remain between the two of us. The one who placed the order is the Islamic President Aswad, this is for the Free Islamic Forces, and therefore there is no guarantee that the weapons will not be used against the Selected Democratic Organization. Does it bother you? Do you still want to make the deal?”

Monro chuckled...

“Nothing bothers me and God. The fact that the Americans, the Russians, and the Chinese provided weapons to the Palestinians, to Mike Satanic and to all the countries they wanted did not bother them. The fact that all the mini-terrorist groups have French, Chinese, German and English weapons did not bother those countries either. The only thing that would bother me is that someone else could make the deal and the money that I should get would go into someone else’s bank account.”

“Fine, Monro. Let it be with luck and blessing, goodbye.”

Monro walked to the  door, opened it, and signaled everyone with a smile of satisfaction to enter  his office.

 At  Ashraff's Islamic base , everyone was eating  lunch when  an American military truck appeared at the gate of the Islamic base. The stunned guard called his  Commander.

“Hello Commander Ashraff, a Democratic army truck  from our neighbors is at the gate of our base. They want to talk to you urgently.”

“Okay Mahmud, I'm on my way to the gate.” He called Stone, waking him. “What’s going on Stone? Your truck with thirty soldiers just arrived at our base. Did you send them? Do you know what they want?”

Stone was worried.

“Hi Ashraff, the truth is that the belly dancers are still with me, and I just woke up. I do not know what is going on. I hope they haven’t come to mess with your brain,” he laughed, “maybe they came for the dancers.”

“Listen; here's what we will do, I will go to the gate, and I will report to you what’s going on,” he laughed. “Don’t start another round with the dancers.”

Stone laughed.

“Great Ashraff, I hope everything is fine. If they came to give you trouble, be assured that it has nothing to do with me.”

They both hung up. Ashraff arrived at the gate and looked suspiciously at the soldiers who got off the truck. They saluted him gingerly.

“Hello Stone’s soldiers, what are you doing here? Has something happened? Do you know that Stone is concerned?”

Sergeant Bronson replied:

“We apologize for frightening you. The truth is that we did not tell Stone anything because we knew he would not approve of our coming here. We decided to defect because our food is less tasty that yours. We want to eat  breakfast, lunch, and dinner regularly with you, pure Arabic food,” he sighed. “We are fed up with war and especially from eating Sushi, pasta, pang swang and don la amour and many other foods that I don’t remember their names. We are crazy about your food.”

Ashraff smiled with relief.

“That’s all? No problem, enter the base and join us for  lunch.” He raised his finger in warning “but without defecting. Afterwards you go back to your own base, but you can come whenever you want, without defecting.”

One of the Islamic officers followed the soldiers to the truck and led them to the dining room. Ashraff called Stone while still laughing out loud.

“Hi Stone, don’t ask. Your soldiers wanted to make trouble. They wanted to defect from your army because they prefer eating Arabic food at our base. They told me that they were afraid to tell you because they feared you would not agree. I want you to know that you are always invited for a meal with your soldiers anytime you want. Just inform us in advance how many soldiers are coming  to avoid a situation in which our soldiers are left without food because then they will have to defect to you.”

Stone relaxed.

“That’s all? No problem does not forget, Ashraff, that also you and your soldiers are invited to our base anytime you like, in the morning, in the afternoon and at night. We are brothers, as the Bible says. We were all born in God’s image.”

“Thank you, my brother Stone.” He suddenly burst into laughter. “If I tell my father that I have a brother at the Democratic Organization, a brother named Stone, he will murder my mother. Betraying him with an Arab is one thing but betraying him with a Democrat? That’s a just  reason for war between the Free Islamic Forces and the Selected Democratic Organization.”

They both laughed  and hung up. The group of Democratic soldiers that followed Ashraff entered the dining room hesitantly  but to their great surprise, they were received with enthusiastic applause by the Islamic soldiers who were standing up, smiling, and waving  excitedly. Some even approached the Americans and shook their hands. The embarrassed Democrats were stunned.

Sergeant Bronson checked his dictionary and said in Arabic:

“We would like to thank your dear Commander, Mr. Ashraff and to especially thank all of you.”

Ashraff addressed his soldiers:

“The Commander of the Democratic base, Mr. Stone, asked me to inform you that you are also invited to his base anytime you like and for any reason.”

The Democratic group ate lunch and afterwards received coffee, Arak, and Arabic pastries. At the end, they could hardly stand on their feet amidst the sound of laughter from the Islamic troops. The Democrats shook Ashraff’s hand with gratitude, thanking the soldiers out loud and got back in their truck with large packages in their hands, full of delicious cookies for Stone and for the other Democratic soldiers. They drove back to the base and showed everyone the cookies.

Stone approached them angrily.

“I’m angry at you,” the soldiers were startled. “Do you know why?” He giggled.“ Had you informed me, I would have joined you. Come on, back to  business.”

 He dialed Ashraff. “Hello Ashraff, I thank you for your hospitality but I’m very mad.” Ashraff turned pale. “Because you decide to overfeed my soldiers and afterwards, they will need to join the reality show “The Biggest Loser” and also, they will not have the strength to fight.” They both laughed “Now seriously, let's plan what we can do together on both bases. Let us decide how we can cooperate, okay?

“For a second you scared me when you said you were mad. I suddenly started smelling war all over again.” Ashraff laughed. “Don’t worry Stone, to my great luck, my nose is stuffed.” They chuckled together. “I already thought of some ideas so that...”

The two base Commanders spoke excitedly while Barney and his companion drank coffee with cardamom, Arak, smoked  cigarettes and ate the amazing cookies.

Jimmy whispered:

“Ah, they're delicious. I feel like someone before his death sentence who orders his last meal.”

First Lieutenant Donny responded:

 “And I immigrate to the Free Islamic Forces. Who needs more? Belly dancers, hummus, tehini , fava beans, and for dessert a hookah.”

Barney  added:

“What can I  tell you?” Imitating Monro and Aswad “We will fight over every pastry and cookie.” He bit into a pastry, "Wow, what a sweet war!”

They sighed with pleasure while burping and farting, stretching their legs and then slept like logs.

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In front of the Democratic Parliament, many demonstrators screamed and held anti-war and anti- Monro signs. At the same time, the local and global media shot and reported about what was happening. Some of the demonstrators distributed sandwiches and mineral water to their friends, some of them distributed fliers to those who were curious and to the crowd surrounding them, some erected tents in the place to continue the demonstration  until the end of the war. There were many hot-tempered citizens who supported Monro and came to identify with Monro’s policy and with its “justified” war objectives. Monro finished his government meetings and left the Tabernacle in a cheerful mood, surrounded by his bodyguards and by some of the government ministers, when he was accosted by the voices and screams of the demonstrators which surprised and upset him.

One of the demonstrators called to Monro:

“Stop this stupid war already!”

One of the women addressed Monro:

“We chose you to lead us to prosperity and welfare, not  to fight your private wars with Aswad!”

 One of the opponents of the demonstration:

 “Shut up, you son of a bitches. Instead of whining, go to war and protect the Democrats, you nobodies!”

The demonstrator who spoke spat on the ground and at them. He was goaded on by his friends and by the crowd.

A demonstrator against the war claimed:

 “President Monro, you turned democracy into dictatorship, into your own private business based on profit and loss considerations.”

An anti- war demonstrator:

“You trade in arms and in the lives of your Democratic citizens without pangs of conscience. We will establish a political movement that will expel you from office as soon as possible.”

Monro dismissed the complaints and whispered to the Minister of Defense:

“Do you see what kind of traitors are in this country? Because of people like that, we lose our deterrence. Because of them, the entire world mocks us, but I will create a new Selected Democratic Organization and we will recruit all these idiots into the army. Take pictures of them and when you identify them, send them to war, to the front. Send those who refuse conscription to Prof. Cheers, and she can have them committed. They are dangerous to themselves, to the environment, and especially to me, Monro, dangerous to democracy, to government and to the Democratic army.”

Everyone woke up the following morning at the Democratic base. Barney went out with his companions and the driver for a ride around the base as usual after an enjoyable and satisfying sleep. To their great surprise, they noticed some groups of soldiers reading new signs that had been placed on base.

“On Sunday morning, between 9:00-11:00 backgammon tournaments. In the afternoon, 15:00-17:00 card games tournament. At night, at 20:00 basic formulation + movie”

“On Monday at 10:00  a football tournament. In the afternoon, at 14:00, basketball tournament, at 16:00  volleyball tournament”

“Tuesday at 10:00  tennis tournament. In the afternoon at 14:00  rugby tournament, at 16:00  baseball tournament”

“On Wednesday, (tournament continuation) at 9, 10,11:00, backgammon. In the afternoon at 15:00, 16:00, 17:00 cards.”

“On Thursday, (tournament continuation) at 9:00 football. At 11:00 basketball, at 13:00 volleyball”

“On Friday and Saturday, free days. Everyone is entitled to do his own private business without disturbing his friends who want to rest on the weekend.”

“Here is an important detail, on the days of camel and donkey races, the first three winners will receive three belly dancers or three sexy democratic dancers of their choice.” 

Barney and his friends looked at each other and at the signs while they were amazed and confused. They tried to investigate the others who were also confused. Sergeant Edwin asked excitedly:

“What’s going on here? What are all these tournaments and games about? Is this a new Olympics?”

Jimmy, the driver:

“No, you are wrong. Stone thought we were bored and decided to open a summer camp.”

Second lieutenant Clark:

“Are there medals for the winners? I’m good at tennis.”

Barney gave an answer.

“Sh, sh, you are all wrong. A “Stone” country club is being opened here, membership is free, and membership is limited to rank leeches and loafers in uniform.”

They laughed, proudly giving the finger and continued their daily walk around the base. Everywhere one could notice the commotion and the excitement. Some of the soldiers marked white lines and equipped the football field, the basketball,  tennis, and volleyball courts. The rugby and  baseball fields were prepared, and the backgammon, card, and computer rooms and the improvised movie theater were cleaned and decorated. The base turned into a hectic swarming ant colony in which each fighting ant participated in the enormous physical and emotional efforts necessary to assist this fascinating winning of the war against despair and frustration.

At the same time, the Islamic base turned, like the Democrats, into the Ashraff country club. It was an integrated, sophisticated, and secret strategy by Stone and Ashraff, who supervised everything from the inception, top to bottom, and secretly made sure that the two bases would be ready for the grand opening of each country club. They gathered the soldiers for an important announcement with great importance and enthusiasm and announced the grand opening whose essence was alternating tournaments between the soldiers in each base. One day, the Islamic soldiers played in the Democratic base and the next day, the Democrats played at the Islamic base. Before they finished addressing their soldiers, Stone and Ashraff insisted that their soldiers commit and pledge that the relationship between the bases and their commanders would be kept secret and that they wouldn't reveal it to anyone. They were warned that if it was discovered, their sweet lives would vanish, and they would become regular soldiers who are killed or injured during wartime. The two base commanders were thrilled that the soldiers understood what was at stake and swore to keep it secret. When things were going smoothly, Ashraff and Stone promised one another to try to wage the war with hard, bitter battles until the enemy loses the card game tournaments, the backgammon games, computer games and ballgames. It seemed like their prayers were answered and that the days of the Messiah had come to the Islamic desert. In addition, a wolf played with a lamb, a lion with a deer, a dog with a cat and a Democrat with a Muslim, and they lived in happiness, in fitness and in wealth - Moses and Mussa, James and Jamil to the glory of Escalation war.

Indeed, even Barney was attached to his hookah and seemed stoned. He saluted everyone with affection, smiled from ear to ear, spoke to the birds, danced with the cats and dogs, and often spoke to himself in front of the mirror. When he spoke to his wife and kids on the phone he didn’t notice and wasn’t aware that he was no longer dreaming and longing for them as before. Barney, his companions, the driver, Stone, the officers, and the soldiers stayed as Ashraff’s guests, played different ball games, ate, drank, chatted, smoked the hookah, laughed, danced and enjoyed every moment exactly like when Ashraff, his people and their hookah came to the neighboring base and enjoyed their visit. Everyone became friends and the thoughts of army and war disappeared with the smoke of the hookah, the barbecues, and the dancers’ movements. The bizarre surreal climax of that period took place an hour before the belly dancers’ shows at the Democratic base. The base cook found a package of white pills that looked like vitamins inside a bag and since he thought that those pills were vitamins for the house animals, he ground them into powder and put them in the food that he was about to give that very moment to the camels, donkeys, and sheep. Half an hour after the commencement of the dancer’s show, the soldiers started to get completely horny and started putting their hands in their pants. In the meantime, it seemed that the animals that ate the powder were going completely mad. They chased one another with craziness and erections, looking for immediate gratification. The males mounted the females and did the deed time after time without stopping. A male from one species chased a female from another until the exhausted and scared females escaped to avoid the craven males' attacks without distinction and without logic. One male even rubbed against another male like crazy.

The following morning the cook told us about it.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Everyone stared at him with boredom and didn’t react “yesterday about an hour before the dancers’ show I found about fifty white pills in a bag on the kitchen floor under one of the tables. I was sure that they were vitamins for the house animals, so I ground them into powder, and I added the powder to their food. To my great sorrow, I fell asleep after that. Are the camels, donkeys, and the sheep, okay? Did they die? Did they commit suicide?” Suddenly Barney remembered what Stone told him the day before.

“Do you hear me, Barney? I will tell you something but keep it a secret: yesterday I bought fifty Viagra pills on the request of the soldiers who need it for the dancers as part of their daily routine, but I lost them. I didn’t tell the soldiers who ordered them from me about that.”

Barney jumped from his place like a bullet and screamed at everyone while he was cracking up:

“Our cook gave the camels, the sheep, and the donkeys Viagra in their food and he didn’t know it was Viagra…also the animals didn’t know it was Viagra. Now you understand why those animals turned into sex maniacs?”

That moment, the entire base went crazy with laughter and  this story was told from father to son to grandson to great-grandson. A vision of the end of days had gone  from a delusional legend to a daily reality. They all prayed, dreamed, and hoped that this incomprehensible Escalation would continue forever, like in fairy tales. The five wonderful and dreamy days passed by in the sand and the fervent wind. Barney was certain that nothing would ruin or tarnish the mood until the moment that the phone rang and disturbed Stone, his officers, Barney, his companions, Ashraff and his assistant who were the Democrats' guests during the daily siesta. They were all having a kind of stoic siesta as sweet as honey and smiled innocently while they passed the water-pipe  from one to another. Stone became serious, signaled Ashraff not to speak. He straightened up, mistakenly saluted the military phone, and heard Monro’s voice.

“Hello Mr. President, Colonel Stone, the base commander is speaking. How can I help you?”

“Listen well, Stone, the international media mock us, and especially me because we didn’t advance anywhere from the commencement of the war and on the other side, the Islamic media, especially Aswad, called me a fool, a coward, a rat. I am not anyone’s sucker, and I am not willing to bear any more humiliation. I want you to start tomorrow morning with a new frontal attack. At six in the morning, you attack the Islamic base in front of you and eliminate it and I want you to advance towards Musulmania. Report to me in the morning about what is going on, okay? I promise you that if your attack against the Islamic forces succeeds, I will promote you to a rank of a lieutenant colonel, ah. I am okay, right? I want every Islamic soldier to tremble when he hears the name Monro.”

The Democratic base commander was stunned and turned pale.

“Of course, Mr. President” in an attempt to gain time “but according to the Democratic protocol I need formal authorization from the Minister of Defense and from the Chief of Staff.” Monro lied without moving an eyelash.

“Trust me, you have government authorization. I will text you the message shortly. This is your authorization.”

Monro immediately hung up without waiting for Stone’s reaction. Stone was still holding the phone with frustration, despair, and concern while the text message came through. People approached Stone in silence,  concerned.

 Barney asked:

“Something happened? What did our adorable leader want? Is the war over? Is he fed up?”

“This criminal Monro wants us to attack Ashraff tomorrow morning. What are we going to do? The belly dancers' period is over. The tournaments are over.”

The meaning of what Stone was saying suddenly became clear. Everyone froze, held onto the tables to avoid  falling; their faces became pale and their bodies weak . Barney's thoughts ran in his mind without stopping.

“Listen Stone, we must explain to Ashraff what’s going on.”

Ashraff feared and listened with a straight face “Maybe it's best that he and his soldiers take off and escape  as soon as possible. I’m willing to fight them only with cards, football, and backgammon.”

“You are right Barney. I must inform Ashraff of what’s going on. They are like our family. I cannot, we must not fight them but I’m not sure they will be able to escape just like that. Okay let’s see what happens.”

Stone talked with a sad and desperate voice. “My brother Ashraff, I have something sad to tell you. The President called.” Ashraff broke in, speaking in English.

“I understood, I know he told you to attack us. I think that the only thing to be done is to confine our two leaders to a mental hospital. Only the two of them are interested in war, not us.” He hugged Stone, saddened. “Don’t worry, Stony, I think I have a solution, do you hear me?”

They all came closer and tried to hear what the solution was but without success. Ashraff whispered the solution in Stone’s ear. Stone was amazed and surprised. They hugged with affection and appreciation and parted excitedly.

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