Chapter 24: A Certain Slant Of Light

I stood in a labyrinth of pathways, doors to other worlds and other times, lands of dream walks and temporal drifts, with halls of mirrors that reflect not what is seen by the eyes.

Taurenhall, the lobby of the Bibliotheca, subsumed many of its visitors. Standing on the glass floor of its foyer, the view below was a spiral of stairs that winds downward indefinitely, as if you were peering into the shell of an immense nautilus whose shell continued without end. Upwards, the paths blossomed outward and snaked about in the manner of tree branches. Venturing upward did not much relieve the nausea, as the various galleries were all adjoined by paths from every angle, forming a network of cells upon cells, all interlinked. I had found the great bronze bull statue in the center of the lobby useful for orienting myself before allowing my gaze to drift. Caduceus was waiting for me on a couch near the hind feet of the bull, reading from the copy of Sisyphus Smiles he had procured.

I thanked him for the book, then followed him down the nautilus shell into a small elevator, and we plunged into the depths of the Bibliotheca's research vaults.

"I've secured a private room," he said. "There are jinn who were enslaved entirely for their skills in translating any text. They are rare, and temperamental. Many have become so willful they often don't respond to summons. I know of one that is reliable, though mentally unstable. Her name is Aisha. She suffers from a palsy which can be mildly disturbing."

I nodded. I would have spoken, as I had many questions, but I was too uncertain how to read the situation, so I waited. This made for a lengthy ride. We stood in a crystal cylinder so clear it felt that we were floating, with orange glowing rings travelling upwards marking the passing of the many floors.

"You are very silent," Caduceus said. I nodded, and he laughed. "Do you know why I like you Victor?"

"I wasn't aware that you like me. Rather, I thought you were pleased with my work."

"I do like you. In fact, I think your work is subpar."

This was a blow, but looking bad I am glad for it.

"Your work is to the bare minimum, and you are often distracted. This tells me you have aspirations and are alert to the wider world. These are reasons I like you. But also, I enjoy your subdued method of expression. We luciens do little in terms of facial contortions or bodily fluctuations. Our light is where we sob and smile and glower. In some small ways, you are similar."

I waited a moment before responding. "But I am human."

Caduceus waited a moment before responding. "Yes. A brand of human. In a way, human is what we all are."

This disturbed me at first, then intrigued me. "How so?"

"Well, did humans name the tyflochs tyflochs? Or did humans name the tarrasquin the tarrasquin? Lucien is an old word in a definitively lucien tongue for us. So you tell me, Victor, how are any of us not human?"

I spoke truthfully, sensing that he was being earnest with me. "I don't see any fundamental difference. But I also don't see any intrinsic harm in demarcations. They serve a fine utility, so long as they are not weaponized."

Caduceus glowed a slightly warmer hue, then nodded. I noted too that his eyes gleamed a soft, minty blue. "Well said. It's true that dividing boundaries of shape and like highlight variety. But I urge you, Victor, to focus more on the ways our kindreds overlap. We all dwell under the same dark roof, and are subject to the same treacherous woes. Whatever plunged Tarthas into its ongoing state of putrefaction, we all now have a share in its fate."

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I pondered over those words for much of what remained of our commute. When we were slowing in preparation to land, I turned my head to Caduceus. I remember that before I spoke to him I saw a similarity, as he had said, in our aspects. He was a great deal shorter than me, though this had no effect on the stalwart projection I saw. Thin, narrow faced and slight of build, the quiet strength I sensed was not of the body, but one of purpose. I felt greatly impelled to be honest with the man, and each passing moment I spent in his company brought on greater trust. And besides, he seemed to know how I was feeling before I even did.

"We'll have to move quickly once we access Aisha. I sense a great deal of tension emanating from you, Victor. If you wish to confide in me privately, now will be your best chance."

My head sank. "I'm afraid, Caduceus."

"Of?"

"Choosing the wrong path." I took the metal case out of my pocket. "The night this object came into my possession, I met the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. Now that her father is restored to her, I might be able to find my way back into her good graces."

"Are you certain you ever fell out of them?"

I wasn't. I had only assumed. The realization was staggering.

Caduceus took the case from my surprisingly willing hand. He ran his finger along its edge, and a thin light of white light flickered after it. The case then cracked slightly open. "Go on," he said, looking down at the case and ignoring my surprised face.

"I... I serve here because I was a dying orphan, and I was taken in. But I joined the militia so that I could serve the highest purpose."

"There is a higher purpose than the one served here, in the hub of all stored knowledge?"

I looked down to my mentor. "I wish to protect this hub of knowledge. And now this... this thing that was thrust upon me, it seems to me a path to do both; gain knowledge and protect it."

Caduceus nodded slightly. "And this beautiful creature you met, what is she to you?"

I let out a long, heavy sigh. "Happiness. Joy. Love. Peace. Selfish pursuits. And I'm so driven to pursue her I..."

He put a hand on my shoulder. "To live happily is to not let the harshness of the world conquer you, or the one you share your joy with. Some of us have the power to save millions we never meet, some of us have the power to save a few we know intimately well. I cannot tell you which gift is yours, but I can tell you that you are gifted. Go down each path, through every door, whatever way strikes your fancy, only be ready for what may lie in wait."

We reached our destined level, and I bid Caduceus a good day before returning to Taurenhall, leaving the metal case and its contents in his care.

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