Everyone’s a Catgirl!

Chapter 90: Chapter 79: He Who Fights With Monsters


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The next couple of days were some of the most hectic in my life—or, lives, I guess I should say. It was much of the same, but now many of the girls in Jazz’s company had newfound energy, thanks in no small part to Cannoli. Their focus was stronger, their reflexes faster, and most importantly, their morale had seen a significant improvement.

The food they’d eaten, the skills they were learning—it emboldened them. But, as Ara reminded us, overconfidence could quickly kill a person. The line between bravery and recklessness was achingly thin, and it was important to remind these girls of that. In some ways, the extra morale was to Jazz’s dismay, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at all concerned.

As they’d warned us, the Encroacher threat was far worse the days following our first night in Catania. Packs of snarling beasts slipped through the gates at all hours of the day, finding shade near the streams or hunting for smaller roaches to eat. We hunted in tight-knit groups with Keke at the helm and deployed as many strategies as we could think of to keep the girls safe.

However, a few went out of their way to disobey not just us, but Jazz. One precarious encounter with an Encroacher nearly ended with the severing of a girl’s right arm. To our relief, while the damage was significant, it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t mend in a couple of weeks. Still, it spooked us all and was a nasty reminder of just how dangerous a bold personality could be when encouraged. Not an experience I’d like to relive any time soon. Scratch that—not an experience I’d like to relive ever.

I was proud to say that none of the girls had died in our company thus far. However, many were wounded going overboard in their vengeance on the Encroachers. I couldn’t really blame them—it would make sense that they wanted to continue to fill their bellies after Keke and Cannoli left. I spent a lot of my time wishing the girls would practice their stealth more. Keke kept my expectations in check and was a natural leader when hunting.

Cannoli had gone above and beyond the call of duty. She’d barely stepped outside since we arrived. While many of Catania’s survivors knew how to cook for themselves or small groups, Cannoli helped them learn to craft filling meals for armies with few ingredients. Even the few that took every word out of her mouth to heart begged her to stay. They didn’t give up without a fight, but Cannoli was firm in her convictions to leave. Once she had made it very clear that she wasn’t sticking around, many more approached her and copied down a number of her recipes.

Ara finally got a wink of sleep, and I do mean just a wink. It was clear she needed a lot more. Her increasingly clumsy expressions and mannerisms gave me the impression that she was on her last thread. She could kill me for it later, but thanks to Keke and Ravyn, she finally got a full night’s rest once we’d sprinkled a handful of calming herbs into her drink.

Tristan continued to contribute in his own way. Almost half the wall was covered in painted portraits and sketches of the inhabitants. More and more joined his group each day to have their likeness added to the wall. It added the extra life the cave needed, and the excitement of those depicted was palpable.

That just left Ravyn. I’d never seen her so passionate. Her aristocracy bled through like nobody’s business. Most of the Catgirls were [Warrior]s, [Fighter]s, and [Scout]s. The very few that were [Mage]s were clumsy, had poor impulses, and were… well, less than literate. There was no way she’d make perfect [Mage]s in a few days. To her credit, though, if I had to grade them, I would’ve said they were at least brought up from ‘burn the cave down with a sneeze’ to ‘passable.’ Ravyn was a natural.

That left us with today. The day we marched to Sorentina. We spent some time debating exactly how we’d go about it. Eventually, we concluded that it was best to send out a few teams at a time in groups of six. Marching a whole damn army sounded well and fine, but our tools and weapons were lacking, and in the worst-case scenario that a swarm of Encroachers and/or Defiled were waiting for us, then we needed to be ready for a major pincer attack or to retreat.

I had to admit, I was of the opinion that Jazz should stay behind. Losing your leader was a fantastic way to destroy your morale, and with it, any chance of ever rebuilding Catania. She seemed to catch wind of this even though I hadn’t said a word. So, before of us could protest, she insisted—no, demanded that she lead one of the groups to Sorentina.

Jazz was coming whether we liked it or not.

Once our bellies were full and our supplies readied, the four chosen squads made their way to the entrance of the cavern with Jazz leading the way. Our group was the last to leave, and before I followed, I turned around to take one last look at the cave we’d spent a short eternity in.

Several of the younger girls had drawn Tristan and our party in varying degrees of emotions and poses. Somehow, every one of us had at least one negative or mean emotion thrown up there, with Ravyn and Ara being the dictators of their makeshift canvas. Except for Cannoli. She was revered as a goddess, typically pictured with wings and bright rings of light around her head. In her illustration, she offered loaves of bread to the lowly refugees.

What a saint.

A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as someone snaked their fingers between mine. I turned to look at her, already aware of who it was.

“You okay, Matt?” Keke’s golden eyes bore into me. Maybe it was presumptuous of me to say, but I really felt like somehow, everything would be okay.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” It wasn’t a hundred percent true. I had a lot on my mind, but all that was left to do now was make the trek to Sorentina. Hopefully safe and sound. I scratched the back of my neck and, as Keke and I were the last to leave the cave, we both waved to the remainder of Catgirls who stayed behind to hold the fort.


The ‘wurgler,’ as Ara had loudly called it, flailed its stick-like appendages at me as I tried to hold it at arm’s length with my shield. This thing was the stuff of nightmares. Its entire body was a deep russet brown, as long as I was tall, and tubular like an earthworm. It ran unnervingly fast on its six sticky legs, then reared back on two of them while swinging the other four at me. It was a slippery bastard, and ‘wurgler’ did not feel like a proper name for this hideous monstrosity. Each time I’d swing my axe, its neck and head would recoil into itself. If I swung for the midsection, it curved its back as if it didn’t have a spine, narrowly avoiding my blade.

The damn thing chilled me to the bone. I swung once more, and again it dodged. Only this time, Keke was ready. Three arrows found their way into the beast’s back, and it elicited a menacing cry. Sharp teeth gleamed from a gaping maw, and spittle splashed onto my axe. Despite my best efforts, I could not find a single eye on its head. But it turned its attention on Keke all the same.

“Hey, what are you looking at? [Provoke]!” I screamed out.

The creature swiveled its slimy head back toward me, and this time I anticipated it. It screeched as it reared its head back and bared its fangs. No thanks. I’m not on today’s wurgler menu. As it did, I swung my axe into its path, decapitating it just below the mouth. Bits and pieces of insect meat and juices sprayed onto my shield arm.

I shoved the slumping body to the ground and watched as it wriggled in place for a few more seconds, milky-white blood and goo pouring out of its body.

“I need a bath,” I said as I whipped pieces of the wurgler off of my arm.

“They’re getting meaner. We’ll need to be more quiet,” Keke warned as she approached me. She wrinkled her nose and swished a hand in front of her face. “Eck, that smells awful.” 

“Yeah, and its blood looks like, uh, well—”

Keheheheh.” Ravyn pressed the tips of her fingers to her lips, giggling.

I could feel my face turn red-hot. “Alright, let’s get a move on. We don’t want to stay in one place for too long,” I said, sighing.

Keke nodded. “That’s right. It’s important we keep moving. That should make it harder for any Defiled to track us.”

“I hope you’re right,” said Ravyn.

“Keke knows! She learned from her mom!” Cannoli cheered.

I blinked, then looked at Keke. “Your mom taught you how to hunt?”

Keke’s gaze wandered. She took hold of her ponytail and whipped it back behind her. “Mm. Yeah. My mom taught me a lot.”

Out of the corner of my eye, Cannoli had a hand clapped to her mouth like a child who’d been caught saying a bad word.

Not a great topic of conversation it sounds like. Now’s not the time anyway.

“I agree, let’s keep going,” said Ara, knives at the ready. “The sooner we can get back to Sorentina, the sooner life can resume its proper course.”

I hope she’s not seriously still thinking of taking Tristan back to Venicia.

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After the uncomfortable encounter with the wurgler, Keke continued to guide us through the woods. Periodically, we’d catch the silhouette of a Catgirl from one of the other groups and motion when it was safe to continue. Jazz’s group was the furthest out at this point. Seemed she was a natural when it came to stealth.

The Encroacher threat had been minimal up until now. A few skirmishes here and there, but nothing too dangerous yet. That wasn’t to say that the threat wasn’t significant—it was. We’d passed by at least a few dozen Encroacher nests. But thanks to the silent movements of our army and the occasional thrown rock—often by Keke, as the minotaur fight still haunted me—it was a reasonably simple task to remain hidden from most of them.

Turns out a lot of them here were skittish by nature, much like the wildlife back on Earth.

“How much further?” I heard Cannoli whisper.

“Maybe another hour,” said Ara. “Remain vigilant.”

“Shh, wait there,” warned Keke.

We did as instructed, each of us bending on one knee, camouflaged by overgrown foliage. Keke’s attention caught on something between the grass, and she chanced to raise a few inches higher. She gasped and shot right back down.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

“A Defiled,” she whispered back.

“What the fuck’s going on up there?” I heard Ravyn say next.

I motioned for silence. “Did it see you?”

Keke shook her head. “No. But one of the other groups is heading straight for it.”

Shit. “Can we lure it away?”

Keke rolled one of the pebbles between her fingers. “Maybe. Defiled are far more intelligent than simple Encroachers though. We would end up drawing it over if we throw one of the rocks.”

I gestured for the others to come closer, albeit quietly. I explained the situation as best as I could, hoping to get another answer.

Ravyn bit the end of one of her fingernails, chancing a glance over her hiding place. “That fuck is barring our way. How far is the other group?”

“They’re going to run into it any second now. We don’t have time to plan,” Keke said back, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Shit, now I’m finding it hard to concentrate.

Dammit, the fear of another minotaur-like battle had returned anyway. It was anyone’s guess how high level this thing could be. As organized as we were, we were still beginners at the end of the day. Well, at least I was.

“I say we throw the rock,” Keke said in a tone that came off foolhardy. “Alright, here I go.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop. Stop,” I hissed, gesturing for a time out. I shook my head. “Nuh-uh. I say we don’t.”

“Are you kidding me? They’re going to run right into it. If I just throw the rock—”

“And lead them right back to us? Without a plan? Then we’re dead,” I finished for her.

Ravyn and Ara voiced their disagreement for Keke’s decision as well, Tristan backing them up with a bit of meekness in his voice.

“Throw it,” Cannoli said with timid eyes.

“That’s all the approval I needed,” said Keke.

“No.” I snatched the wrist holding the rock and pulled her into my embrace. Was this the right thing to do? Was I sending that group of girls off to their deaths? They were tough as nails, so surely they’d be able to escape. As much as I tried to reason with myself, I knew the truth. I was trying to save our skins. 

I wasn’t able to stop Keke in the end. Through some sort of Houdini-level sleight of hand, she slithered her way out of my grasp and threw the rock before anyone had a chance to protest.

My eyes widened, and my breath caught. It felt as though someone had frozen my feet to the ground.

Keke stood and breathed a sigh of relief. “The Defiled ran away.”

As grateful as I was, I was as shocked as I’d be if Keke had thrown the rock at my head. And from the looks on the others’ faces, I had to assume they felt similarly.

Except for Cannoli. She hung her head, averting her gaze whenever Keke or I tried to look at her. The six of us stood there in silence.

And then, as if nothing had ever happened, Keke gestured for us to follow. “Let’s get going. We don’t want to fall behind.”

I blinked, then forced my feet to move. When I caught up to her, she lowered her voice and glanced at me from the corner of her eyes. “Their lives are just as important as ours, Matt. Please don’t forget that.”

I swallowed hard and continued in silence.

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