Chapter 91: Chapter 80: The Calamitous Blob

There was an uncomfortable air around the party after we’d led the Defiled away. We continued as discussed, fighting in skirmishes, and doing our best to avoid tough-looking fights whenever possible. So far, it’d paid off.

A panting Ara whispered to us, “We shouldn’t be far from Sorentina now.”

“That’s great,” I whispered back.

The stress I felt wandering through these woods was nothing like I’d ever experienced. We’d counted no less than five Defiled on the way through, each with Encroachers surrounding them in the dozens like a castle wall. And those were just the ones we saw. Who knew how many more there were out there?

This is insane. Going out here alone is a death sentence.

“About how much longer do you think?” I asked, then turned around when I didn’t get a response. Ara had stepped in something green and viscous.

She stuck her tongue out halfway and stepped off to the side to wipe it on the grass. “How vile.”

“You okay, Ara?” Tristan’s voice followed.

“I’m fine, Young Master. Please do not worry yourself.”

“Right,” he replied a few octaves lower.

Keke turned around. “What did you step in?”

“Some weird goop,” I answered for her. “Looked really thick and sticky. Like… slime.” Then a realization hit me. “Ara! Throw that shoe away! Get away from the puddle!”

“What?”

“Just do it!”

Ara blinked once, then tossed the shoe into a nearby shrub as we formed a circle around the puddle of slime in the small clearing. The fluid reverberated and rippled, twitching one way and then another.

Keke, Cannoli, and I stood at one end while the remainder of our group stood at the end opposite of the strange moving liquid. 

“Get the fuck out of my way,” said Ravyn as she pushed Ara and Tristan to the side. She held out her hand and yelled, “[Fire Ball]!” 

A great blaze shot from her palm and nailed the clump of slime dead-center. The blast created a blooming cloud of black smoke that obscured Ravyn, Ara, and Tristan from my vision.

With my arms held at my sides, I took a step backward, gesturing for Keke and Cannoli to do the same. They followed suit as I took another step. And then another.

When the smoke faded away, I gasped. There were two of them now. Smaller, though—like someone had sliced a big ball of cookie dough in half. That is, if cookie dough looked like a giant boulder of snot. And had sentience.

“Is this an Encroacher?” I asked.

“[Encroacher Lore] isn’t coming up with anything,” Keke warned, her eyes wide. “Not Stats, Skills, Weak Points—I’m coming up blank. We need to be careful.”

Slimes had always been a video game staple. However, if I had learned anything at all about slimes, it’s that they had wildly varying degrees of power. There was a ludicrous amount of difference between gelatinous cubes with mind control abilities that could melt you apart within seconds and balls of slime with big dopey grins that knew little more than how to hop around and drop jelly beans. And if there was anything I’d learned about Nyarlea, it was that even the cutest, fluffiest roaches could bite my leg clean off.

Considering I had never seen a slime-like Encroacher up until this point, I had to assume the worst.

“W-what is it, then?” Cannoli asked in a trembling voice.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly.

“Little fucker’s strong,” said Ravyn, her palm lighting up with another [Fire Ball]. I couldn’t decide whether I should stop Ravyn or not. Slimes were usually weak to magic of almost any kind, especially fire. Usually. I’d stopped setting expectations in this world a long time ago.

Just as I raised my hand to object, I saw it. As soon as Ravyn had called out the name of her attack, the slime changed color. It was no longer toxic green; now, it was a dark, sort of amber color. I had a bad feeling about what would happen next, and I readied my shield in front of me.

Just as the [Fire Ball] was about to hit its target, the slimes joined together and caved inward at the center, creating a deep groove. The [Fire Ball] was swallowed whole. There was a moment where it visibly swirled around inside of the slime’s body. After a second or two, the [Fire Ball] disappeared.

Then the slime began to glow.

“Get ready for a fire attack!” I screamed. “Get behind me!”

“You two as well!” Ara cried out. “[Double Image]!” An exact duplicate of Ara appeared in a puff of purple smoke. The clone stood at the front while Ara, Tristan, and Ravyn lined up behind it. Ball Gag flew away to a nearby tree, and Desiree found her way underneath Tristan’s shirt.

I put one foot in front of the other and dug my heels into the soil. I prayed this wouldn’t scorch the skin off my bones.

The slime continued to glow and writhe. My stomach twisted into knots, and my neck prickled with sweat. Inside the puddle, a pair of very human eyes appeared. Immediately afterward, a full set of lips popped into being. The facial features floated listlessly for a short time. Until the lips spoke.

“[Release],” it said with a hint of whimsy in its gravelly voice. The slime twisted and swirled until it reformed itself into the shape of a cannon—aimed at me.

My breath caught, and the voice in the back of my head screamed for me to run. But running was not an option. Escape was not an option. Fear was not an option. I had to defend my girls. I had to.

I drilled my heels further into the ground and braced.

“Matt!” Keke and Cannoli screamed in unison.

Please don’t. I can’t concentrate when you two worry.

The [Fire Ball] Ravyn had launched into the slime blew from the barrel, soaring toward me with far more firepower than the one Ravyn let loose. As it approached, the heat grew with incredible ferocity. I could feel the flames on my face and arms long before they reached me.

My poor shield didn’t stand a chance.

“Fuck! Fuck!” I cried. The shield was on fire; it was melting, it was crackling, sizzling. I could barely tell what was happening. All I wanted to do was get the damn thing off of me. I managed to slide the leather brace away from my arm and jump back. It fell to the ground in a useless pile of molten metal, splintering wood, and seared leather. But my gauntlet was on fire too.

“Get it off!” screamed Cannoli. She ran to my side, and I had to stop myself from batting her away in the chaos. As good as her intentions were, there was nothing she could do for me in this instant. She was only getting in the way and putting herself in danger.

Keke yelled out similar concerns, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see that the other half of our group was panicked.

Don’t look at me like that! Goddammit, I can’t concentrate like this!

I ripped the gauntlet off and threw it to the ground, stomping on it to put out the flames as best as I could. Setting the whole forest on fire would’ve been the cherry on the shit-sundae, and I was not about to be responsible for such a thing.

Ravyn looked at the melting shield and me stamping out my gauntlet before screaming, “[Invigorate]!”

A golden glow wrapped around the real Ara as the fake version threw a dagger at the Defiled, lodging the knife in its body.

The eyes and mouth reappeared, cackled, then ejected the dagger from its body in the same fashion it had relaunched the fire ball. Ara and her clone didn’t bother dodging the attack. The ejected dagger flew right through Ara’s clone like a phantom.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“[Pinpoint Weakness]!” I heard Keke shout next. The eyes and lips disappeared as Keke pulled back an arrow, paused, then clicked her tongue. “It doesn’t work! It can’t locate a weak point!”

Ladies and gentlemen, we have the king slime, vanquisher of heroes.

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The eyeballs and mouth reappeared and laughed, spinning around inside seemingly effortlessly. Four or five arrows found their way into the body of the slime, but to no avail. Two disintegrated within the body of the beast, and the remainder floated inside as the fire had.

“Hee, hee, hee!” The slime laughed, and the remaining arrows were expelled from its body in our direction one by one.

Keke sidestepped to my right while I kept Cannoli behind me. With no shield to block the incoming pair of arrows, I held the flat end of my axe’s blade toward the slime and turned my body sideways.

Hope this works.

The first soared toward me, and I twitched my wrist, sighing in relief as the point struck the axe’s blade and fell harmlessly to the ground. And then I felt it. The point of another arrow found its way into my body, and split apart the folds of flesh between muscle.

The pointed tip dug deep through my calf, sending me down to the ground on one knee.

You’re fucking joking.

Cannoli rushed to my side and yanked the arrow out before I even had a chance to protest. I hissed through my teeth and blinked the dark edges away from my vision. And what the hell? Had Cannoli never heard of how much blood a person could lose by pulling an arrow out too early? The pain shot through my leg like lightning, and blood flooded the soil.

“[Stabilize],” Cannoli whispered with both of her hands held to my wound as she kneeled on the ground. A brilliant white light gathered around her wrists. The particles slowly made their way from the tips of her fingers, sliding around and inside of my wound.

The blood stopped moments later.

Ah, right. That’s a thing. “Thank you, Cannoli.”

For the most part, Ara held the slime’s attention. Judging from the sweat dripping down her face, she was struggling with the creature nearly as much as I was.

“Fuck! How the hell do we kill this thing?” Ravyn screamed, her hand still held outward as if readying another spell. But the hesitation was plain and clear on her face.

“Invincible! We’re all fucking dead! Squaawk!”

“Not with projectiles!” I called back. “No more projectiles!” It just throws everything back out at us. How the hell?

“I tire of this!” Ara threw her dagger into the ground and looked around. Sprinting away, she yelled over her shoulder, “Keep it busy! But don’t attack it!”

“What? Are you crazy?” Ravyn screamed back. The slime moved toward her, albeit slowly. She leapt to the side and took Tristan by the hand, leading him over to a nearby shrub. The slime didn’t give chase. “Shit, this thing has to have a weakness.”

It “turned” back to us, and its eyes and mouth came back to the surface. “Hee, hee, hee! Do your worst!”

But it didn’t attack. It moved from side to side menacingly. The blob squelched, burped, laughed, taunted. It trudged its way toward us at the speed of smell, and the fear was beginning to leave me. I had a working theory.

“Stay back!” Keke yelled at the slime and raised her bow.

“Keke!” I shook my head. “I said no more arrows. It’ll just throw them back.”

“I know, but— We have to do something!”

“No, we don’t.” I furrowed my brow and locked my gaze with the uncanny eyes. “Do we? That’s your trick, isn’t it?”

“Hee, hee, hee! Hee, hee! Hee!” The slime continued to laugh, never answering. How funny it was.

Ara came back to the scene, a makeshift spear in her hand. She raised one brow. “Did you figure it out too?”

The slime moved one of its eyeballs to look at Ara, the corners of its mouth drooping, clearly no longer in a mood to laugh.

“Yeah, I think so.” I rose to my feet, then plummeted right back down when my leg reminded me of the arrow it had just received.

“Don’t move too much!” Cannoli warned.

“I’m so sorry, Matt,” said Keke.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s only the second time one of your arrows has found its way into my person. I could take a few more,” I laughed, but nobody else seemed to think it was funny.

“Fucking moron,” I heard Ravyn murmur.

Ara sighed and pointed the spear at the slime, a shadow on her face that I was sure wasn’t there before. “Your time’s up, fiend.”

“Hee, hee, hee! Just try—”

Try, she did. Ara speared one of the eyeballs inside the slime’s form and plucked it away in one swift movement. She slammed the point to the ground, piercing straight through the fleshy orb and deep into the soil. Blood gushed from the opening and overflowed to the ground.

The lips screamed.

Ara stabbed the eyeball once more, then ground the sole of her shoe into the remainder of the slime’s eye. Ara pointed the spear back at the slime. “What’s wrong?”

The slime didn’t respond. The eyeball and lips disappeared.

Ara clicked her tongue.

“What? What just happened?” Cannoli squeaked.

Ravyn sighed. “So, that’s what it was. Fucking thing can’t even fight.”

“Ahh, I see,” said Tristan, his forefinger held upward. We really need to get this kid a lightbulb. “It can only reflect ranged attacks!” The single eyeball appeared again, bobbing inside the slime and staring straight at Tristan. “It can’t hurt us!”

And then the eyeball disappeared once more.

“Yeah. But it did melt some of Keke’s arrows. I think it’s safe to say you shouldn’t touch it.” My gaze met Ara’s. “Hence, the spear.”

“That is correct,” Ara said with a nod.

“So, how do we kill it then? I don’t like the idea of just leaving it here.”

Ara put a finger to her lips and watched carefully for the remaining eyeball’s reappearance. “It is not our problem. The others are safely ahead of us, and we need to catch up. Let us leave.” She winked at me.

Ara? Trying to misguide a monster? That’s new.

Everyone in the party voiced their concerns about leaving him behind, but Ara finally “convinced us.” We left the area. Or so the slime thought.

By the end of the night, it was nothing more than a harmless puddle of green ooze, courtesy of Ara. Who triumphantly reclaimed her shoe before we continued toward Sorentina.