Chapter 2: CH 2

Editor: Chubby Dragon

Proofreader: Sleepymango 123

Since ancient times, the righteous and the demonic had always coexisted within the Jianghu.

The righteous side did things according to the rules, and therefore, rarely did they hold enmity towards each other. It was this aspect that enabled the righteous sects to create alliances amongst each other easily. They could even decide on the identity of the world’s strongest cultivator.

Whenever they wanted to fight, they would send out invitations, summoning a crowd to watch; this set-up was elaborate to the point of blinding the eyes.

As for the demonic sects, not only did they do things like burning, killing, and looting the other sects. What was even more ridiculous was that they not only targeted the innocent and righteous factions but also killed and plundered amongst themselves.

Therefore, aside from being collectively hunted down by the righteous side, all demonic cultivators also had to be wary of their peers in case they decided to loot them while their houses were burning. It could be said that they lived very difficult lives.

The demonic sects that survived in such an adverse environment had to either be absurdly strong or absurdly creepy and as for the Palace of Bliss, the sect situated at the apex—they were the absurd among the absurdities.

Therefore by inference, He Huan, the Palace Master to the Palace of Bliss, must be a world-class absurdly powerful and creepy Demon Lord.

Luckily, He Huan didn’t let down the expectations of the Jianghu’s storytellers. Ever since he killed the previous Palace Master with a slash of his sword 80 years ago, he had turned the Palace of Bliss into his own personal garden. As for the disciples in his sect, it didn’t matter whether they were men or women, their actions and words frivolous, overbearing or arrogant, they all were accommodated comfortably.

According to a godly thief who had once infiltrated the Palace of Bliss to try and steal treasures, this person even allowed his disciples to dual-cultivate whenever they felt like it. The entire sect, other than some porn books, was completely empty of any divine weapons or artifacts. It was simply too hard to look at. Of course, regarding whether or not he’d examined the porn stack, a certain godly thief refused to comment.

Men being loose and lustful wasn’t anything new. For men and women to thoughtlessly throw themselves at He Huan regardless of his identity as Demon Lord also seemed to be within the realm of expectation. However, after having your flings and parting your ways with the other party, to not even give a heads up to everyone in the Jianghu, then we will have problems!

Within the century, who knew how many cultivators, on their nuptial night, heard their newly wedded wives bow their heads and weep, “Back then, I was young and ignorant, with that He Huan…”; and who knew how many cut-sleeves1 had painfully heard the handsome youths they finally managed to capture, awkwardly sigh, “Forgive me for being blunt, but regarding technique, I still think He Huan was better….”

And so, in an instant, a green breeze swept across the Jianghu. Cultivators in mass all became easily agitated, in fear of accidentally buckling a green hat onto their heads2.

In order to cope with these situations, the second-ranked righteous sect of the world, the Myriad Treasures Hall, developed an artifact that could determine blood relations through a person’s bone marrow, blood, face, hands, etc—a real blood relation tester.

It had sold out almost immediately, making them a huge profit. As for the theories about why the sect head of the Myriad Treasures Hall who’d been in secluded cultivation for months suddenly released this product…it was said that one of his people had sat down with a certain man surnamed He for a meal—cough—relatable, relatable.

What’s more, not long ago, a certain godly thief who once again infiltrated the Palace of Bliss heard that scourge, He Huan, sigh about how sexy the fox spirit cultivators on the Snowy Mountains were. The world hadn’t anticipated that he would even try spirit3 cultivators, and so, even those few who had special fetishes couldn’t take it anymore. This disgrace couldn’t stay!

Towards this, He Huan’s response was, “Laughable! This Master wants to enjoy his lifetime, the only requirement is that it is comfortable and satisfying. I have long stopped forcing men and women. Nowadays, what I like the most is the process.”

Hearing this, there were some perverted cultivators who jealously scolded, “Despicable! Absolutely despicable!”

The fledgling cultivators who’d just entered the real world quickly followed in chanting, “That’s right! Absolutely despicable! Such a villain, to dare claim to value the process, you are simply an uneducated swine claiming to love culture!”

The perverted cultivators, “…”

In short, this He Huan person was extremely evil. At least 80% of the cultivators in the Jianghu wanted to exterminate him. Yet, he was a late-stage Nascent Soul cultivator. What type of concept was late-stage Nascent Soul? That was the stage one step away from Calamity Crossing.

There were only two Calamity Crossing cultivators above him in the entire world.

One was the grand monk of the Grand Western Leiyin Temple. Although rumours had speculated that he was of the Calamity Crossing stage, the Jianghu had always pretended that this monk didn’t exist. This was because, other than the monks that had completed ascension into Buddhas, no one knew where this temple was located, more so, the Jianghu hadn’t had a monk who successfully became a Buddha in centuries.

The other person would be the sect head of the number one righteous sect, Xuanmen Righteous Sect’s Qing Xuzi.

Logically, he was the most suitable person to slay He Huan, but every generation, the sect head kept to a dedicated tradition—entering into secluded cultivation. Each seclusion would last centuries. Secluding and secluding, and after being secluded so much, they’d finally ascend with a ‘whoosh’.

Qing XuZi just happened to be in seclusion the year He Huan first made his appearance, and to this day he still hadn’t exited. Many suspected that the old man would be like his predecessor, kicking the bucket with no warning.

Therefore, other than besieging this vile villain, they really had no way to deal with him. However, even when besieging, they needed to find a leader to act as the head.

Following their sect head’s love for secluded cultivation, the cultivators of the ‘Big Boss’ Xuanmen Righteous Sect were all hopelessly addicted to secluded cultivation as well. The liaisons from other sects couldn’t even enter the mountain. Many times, they sent notices asking to pay their respects, in the end, most were lost causes. It really made people speculate that a day would arrive where the entire sect would just up and ascend together.

As for the second largest sect, Myriad Treasures Hall, their sect head had doubted his wife’s faithfulness. So the wife became angry, returning to her family’s home and locking herself inside. Everyday the sect head would have an expression of deep regret and frustration as he stood guard in front of his wife’s home trying to appease her. Where would he find the mood to go and pick a fight with that bastard, He Huan?

The third largest sect was the sect that the said wife belonged to, the Water Moon Manor. As a sect that only accepted female disciples, they were originally the most suitable choice. It was a pity that none of them had the mood to organize some grand extermination campaign. All they wanted to do was beat up those old calculating men loitering at their entrance.

Without these three giants at the forefront, with their numerous Nascent Soul stage cultivators, it’d be suicide for the other sects to attack the Palace of Bliss. Gradually, they could only eliminate this idea from their minds.

Yet, what made all those unmarried cultivators fall into despair was that last night, the Palace of Bliss once again welcomed tribulation. As long as He Huan was not electrocuted to death, then he would already be a Calamity Crossing expert by now.

Then, in the end, was he electrocuted to death?

Unfortunately, he wasn’t.

He Huan had always only ever pursued the ultimate pleasures. His Palace of Bliss was constructed atop a spirit spring, the mountain was lush, water was nutritious, and it was spring all year round. Even his personal garden was designed similar to the Classical Gardens of Suzhou4, completely unlike the brothel-styled look everyone imagined.

It’s just that, at this time, in He Huan’s personal QingYun Hall, the evil Demon Lord in everyone’s words was staring blankly at the stack of letters. When he finally registered what he was looking at and saw the phrase “Enjoy the ride”, he immediately fell to the ground in shock. There wasn’t an ounce of his rumoured sleazy expression.

“He Huan” felt very lost at the moment, his memory was basically blank. He could barely recall that he seemed to be some world’s university graduate. Just when he’d finished his exams, he was hit by a car on the way home and had found himself here after waking up. However, he completely forgot what his name was, don’t even mention family background, he’d even forgotten what he used to look like.

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There was no one else in the room, only a stack of letters accompanied him. As for the contents contained within the letters, they could be summarized as the above information.

The writing was disorganized, handwriting both new and old. It seemed that the author just wrote something whenever it came to mind. Not only was the stack very thick, but the information inside was also very complex. “He Huan” looked at it for a long time before finally deriving a few key points.

He Huan was a publicly recognized pervert.

The majority of the people in the Jianghu wanted to kill He Huan.

He Huan lived alone at QingYun Hall which was within the Palace of Bliss.

He looked up to see that eye-catching QingYun plaque, then back down to his dark-red robes which were not the kind proper people would be associated with. His conclusion—it appeared that, perhaps, possibly, maybe, he was He Huan?!

This didn’t seem too good?

Carrying his robes that were long enough to sweep the floor, the current “He Huan” considered his proficiency in wearing these robes that made even walking difficult and actually being able to survive the attacks from the righteous cultivators. Then decisively, he grabbed the stack of paper and began to grind as if he were cramming for college entrance exams.

Oh well, although he didn’t know why He Huan would leave a message for himself out of the blue, looking at the action itself, he had probably known that a situation like this would occur. In that case, then he would most likely have left an explanation to dispel his confusion.

Sure enough, he soon found the most relevant point to his current circumstances within the increasingly scribbled writings—the meridians would be damaged and could not be exercised in the seven days that followed undergoing tribulation, and to be aware of sneak attacks.

The suggested countermeasures were—stay at home and randomly select a few beautiful disciples to sleep with during these seven days. Male disciples took priority because their combat prowess tended to be stronger.

“What the hell, pervert!”

Seven days? A few? And it has to be male disciples?! This was directly dying from excessive ejaculation! Actually, it was bad enough that it had to be male disciples, okay?

As a teenager with a normal orientation, when he saw this rotten idea, “He Huan” decisively threw that stack of waste paper onto the floor. At the same time, he gained a deeper understanding that this He Huan, sure enough, was a pervert.

Although he was not very clear-minded at this time, he still wouldn’t follow that rotten idea. He just wanted to spend those seven days quietly as he recovered, before doing anything else.

Speaking of which, if he’d remembered correctly, since it was only after the car accident that he ended up transmigrating to this place, then how was he able to read these words that were basically akin to ancient script calligraphy?

However, after thinking about it some more, he also found that although he’d never been to this QingYun Hall, he hadn’t felt any unfamiliarity in the furniture’s placement or style. Perhaps he’d already lived in this world for a while, he just couldn’t remember it. At least he was literate. But, if he already lived in this world, why couldn’t he remember it? And how did he become He Huan?

No matter how he tried to think about it, he still couldn’t think of an answer. Sighing, he ended up taking out a book from the cabinet to try and pass the time.

Just when he was about to lament that he was actually going to read something as literary as ancient lined manuscripts, he flipped the book open and came face to face with a picture of a naked woman on top of a man. That elbow, that arm—your uncle! Wasn’t this a spring magazine?!

In an instant, that literary fantasy was punctured by reality, and “He Huan” the virgin, tossed that thing out the window with a red face.

Suddenly, he recalled the proud tone in the letters that He Huan had used when mentioning that his whole sect had nothing except for porn books; he now understood just what kind of things filled these two large cabinets.

Yes, although he hadn’t met He Huan before, he was absolutely certain that guy had been completely proud when talking about these things.

Although “He Huan” wasn’t a complete stranger to pornography, he still firmly believed that they should only be taken out in the dead of night in the comforts of one’s own room for self-pleasure. Where would you find a person who styled their entire room elegantly only for their cabinets to be full of porn books, this crass fellow!

Even though he was secretly judgemental of He Huan’s tastes, that image began to spin unceasingly within his mind.

Honestly speaking, when disregarding the contents, the art style actually fit with his own sense of aesthetics. At least, it seemed that their preferences were basically the same. Moreover, from the glimpse he’d gotten just then, he was pretty sure he’d even seen some dialogue; this porn book actually had some form of plot.

Realizing that staying inside for seven days straight would be extremely boring, his heart itched for something to do. After sweeping his gaze across the room and confirming that there truly was no one else inside, he silently moved to the other book cabinet. He sneakily fished a book out, deciding on pretending to study.

Cough cough, as an upright youth, how could he possibly be engrossed in this type of thing? He was just curious as to what type of plot a porn book could possibly have.

After pondering for a while, he finally flipped to the first page, only to find the tangled bodies of two—handsome men.

With a whoosh, another limited-edition porn book was thrown out the window. “He Huan” was triggered—how could a perfectly straight youth like him be interested in man on man action! Even if he died of boredom, he still wouldn’t spare a glance for that type of thing!

An hour later, “He Huan” was unable to suppress his boredom and thus slapped his own face, “My god! Even this kind of maneuver is possible? Is it really that intense between men?”

Fine, reality has proven, nothing can curb the curiosity of a youth in his prime. As well as a preference for this type of thing, it doesn’t change that much throughout the years.

End of Chapter 2

in short, gays. This is a reference to the story of an Emperor who had to leave for morning court but didn’t want to disturb his male lover who was resting on his sleeve, and so cut it off.

Once upon a time, there was a businessman, a tailor, and the businessman’s wife. (You can guess where this is going…) Whenever the businessman left his village to go on a business trip, his wife would cheat on him with the village tailor. To make it easier for the tailor to know when the businessman was going away, the businessman’s wife asked the tailor to make a green hat for the businessman. Whenever the wife put the green hat on her husband’s head, this served as a signal to the tailor that the businessman was leaving the village. Over time, the other villagers figured out what was going on, and they would say to one another…”His wife has put the green hat on him.”

To this day, this phrase is what Chinese people use to talk about wives having affairs. This phrase is the reason why Chinese men never wear green hats.

not to be confused with demonic cultivators. Demonic cultivators are humans who have turned to the demonic path, spirit cultivators are born that way. For example, beasts who have cultivated intelligence or plants, etc…

Classical Gardens of Suzhou 

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