Chapter 3: CH 3

Editor: Mimishijie

Proofreader: SleepyMango123

As “He Huan” lamented the profoundness of erotic culture, the Palace of Bliss disciples who were waiting for their Palace Master to come out of seclusion exploded in worry.

Yesterday’s tribulation was frightening, everyone was guessing whether or not He Huan had completed this trial.

Regarding this, it was naturally the Palace of Bliss disciples that were the most concerned. After all, if He Huan fell, then the balance between the powers would be broken and the righteous sects would undoubtedly attack the next day.

Even after the development of the Palace of Bliss, there weren’t any prominent demonic sects that came out of it, instead, it further highlighted the anomaly that was the Palace of Bliss.

Thinking about it, there hadn’t been an all-out war between demonic and righteous in decades. Those hot-blooded righteous cultivators were probably bored to death by now.

Wasn’t it just a few days ago that it was said that the principal of the Heaven’s Library Pavilion was so idle that he went to the countryside to catch bandits?

But once those moldy fellows found a place to start a conflict… numerous disciples shivered in terror just thinking about it.

Without their three biggest sects leading the way, the righteous sects didn’t stand a chance against He Huan; but without He Huan, the rest of them were basically powerless in a gang fight.

At that time, the unlucky ones would still be those waiting outside the door, branded as demonic cultivators.

The storm had long since disappeared, but how come there still wasn’t any movement? It couldn’t be that something really did happen to the Palace Master, right?

Their leader simply wasn’t the type of person who could just hole up and sleep off an entire day alone; the crowd of disciples all firmly believed that as long as their Palace Master was still alive, he would inevitably get out of bed in order to call someone up to serve him.

All of a sudden the crowd of disciples gathered outside their Palace Master’s Hall started to worry for their future.

As an easygoing person who didn’t kill unnecessarily, He Huan usually found his disciples’ displays of seduction and coyness flattering rather than annoying. However, the only place he would not tolerate such behaviour would be his QingYun Hall.

No one was allowed to take a step inside unless they were summoned.

Once, there was a male pet who had attempted to enter based on the fact that he was currently in favour, just to be ruthlessly cut down the moment he took one step up the stairway inside.

Ever since then, no one dared to even walk past QingYun Hall without He Huan’s permission. The status quo remained even till today, so although they were worried that something might have happened to He Huan after his tribulation, they still didn’t dare approach, opting to gather next to the spirit spring instead.

The Palace of Bliss had three enforcers. Of the three, the first one was infamous for being the best mercenary on the Jianghu, Bi QianRen.

As a mercenary, his eyesight was naturally sharp. Just as he was frowning in contemplation, he looked up and caught a glimpse of a red-clothed figure currently looking down from the highest window. Wasn’t that the Palace Master?

After using his spiritual energy to take a closer look, Bi QianRen found that their Master was actually in a pretty good mood. Even using an appreciative gaze to look at them, it seems that his cultivation had improved by quite a bit. Thinking so, Qian Ren finally relaxed.

However, why hasn’t their Palace Master come out now that his tribulation was over? Could it be that he was injured and needed to recover?

QianRen naturally didn’t know that the current “He Huan” was completely powerless and could not actually see the crowd of disciples enveloped by the steam, and was only poking his head out to admire the scenery.

If “He Huan” were to know that his action inspired by boredom would later cause him a ton of problems, he would have rather directly chosen to jump out of the window and die.

“The Palace Master is fine.”

Although he didn’t understand why He Huan hadn’t come out, Qian Ren still spoke to calm the crowd. As expected, the moment he said this, the crowd of disciples was instantly relieved.

They all knew that in the entire Palace of Bliss, only the first and Second Enforcer had never slept with their Palace Master; from this, it could be seen just how important they were. For the Head Enforcer to speak, then naturally what he said could be trusted and He Huan was fine.

“Careful, an attack!”

At the same time, the Second Enforcer You Jiang1 doubtfully looked upwards, then flew up with an ease not unlike a sparrow in the forest. When he finally landed, in his hand was an additional porn book disguised as a cultivation technique.

The Palace Master threw down a porn book right after peering down at them, this was clearly an order for someone to be sent up to service him.

Thinking of this point, the number one mercenary, QianRen, took the book and using his exceptional vision, found the page that “He Huan” had last been on. “From the faint fingerprints on the edge of the page, the ones the Palace Master has requested should be something similar to this.”

As for who got to sleep with the Palace Master, this type of thing, it was always the responsibility of the Third Enforcer, Xiu Niang. The moment she saw that “woman on top” diagram, she instantly knew which position the Master favoured today and immediately shouted, “Someone, bring Sai GuanYing to this old lady!”

Just when everyone was relieved that the Palace Master still had the mood to enjoy himself, You Jiang frowned and jumped up again, “Careful, another one’s coming!”

According to the order of things, it would then be Qian Ren who’d flip through the book to find the page “He Huan” was on, this way no detail will be missed.

However, Xiu Niang just went forward to take a look and was then immediately ecstatic, “For the Palace Master to have such vigorous amounts of energy, could it be that he’s successfully advanced without any injuries?”

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But as soon as the excitement wore off, she couldn’t help but be concerned, “This pose can’t be performed by those common disciples, they must have some kind of achievement in cultivation at least.”

Even after hearing her added prerequisite, You Jiang wasn’t worried in the slightest. He clapped his hands before throwing the book to an azure-clothed disciple and instructed, “Yun Ce, it has been a little over a month since the Palace Master has already brought you here, learn this secret art well, it is time for you to perform.”

That disciple was unable to contain his joy at this sudden development as he accepted his order, “This disciple will not let you down.”

And so, just as “He Huan” sighed over the fact that the plots of porn books in this day and age were surprisingly deep and touching, an even greater ‘unprincipled’ calamity was steadily approaching him under the Head Enforcer’s lead.

Sure enough, porn books and such cannot just be haphazardly thrown around.

“He Huan” didn’t really plan to be indolent, spending his seven days simply reading porn, so after casually flipping through one, he once again explored the room. As a result, when parting the curtains covering the bed, he found a huge body length sized bronze mirror covering the wall.

This sort of thing, installing a mirror behind the bed…

Peering at the unmade and messy bedding on top of the mattress, “He Huan” was unable to control his brain from filling in the blanks and imagining a very R-18 scene, once again sighing at the immoderation of the original host——you Demon Lords really know how to play!

Though, from the description in the letters and his own findings, his impression of He Huan was that if he wasn’t some kind of pervy middle-aged uncle, then he was an incubus more tempting than a woman, a bewitching cutsleeve that can impregnate anyone with just a glance.

The former was due to imagining someone more masculine, the latter, someone feminine. According to logic, the reality would be a wonderful combination of the two impressions, yet the man that was reflected in the mirror, was not devilish in beauty despite having alluring eyes, similarly, although his build wasn’t overbearing, was still extremely upright and noble. In addition, his slightly messy waist-length hair brought about a somewhat languid aura.

If it wasn’t mentioned, the average person would’ve just thought this was some secular family’s pampered young master, it would be completely unimaginable that this person could fight. Just that, the only thing disrupting the aesthetic of this man would be his current dazed expression.

After his worldview had been enlightened by the sorcery that is makeup and plastic surgery, one could say that his immunity towards attractiveness is quite high.

Of course, this didn’t mean that he would end up dazed after staring at a handsome guy, the reason for his lack of response was because of how familiar he was with this face. The familiarity was at the level where it would be weird if this wasn’t his face.

But, how could he possibly look like this, He Huan and him were completely different people!

In his heart, he refused to have anything to do with He Huan and lowered his head in irritation. It was then that he realized that the dark lines on his red robes weren’t patterns, but rather, lines upon lines of messy words.

Taking a rough look at it, he noticed that it was a short poetic essay and looked at it uncomprehendingly, only until he found a specific phrase that slightly made sense, did he stop——Tonight, I see clearly of love in this world. The one who comes alone is me2.

Such a simple phrase, but the moment it fell onto his eyes, he felt a sharp pain in his heart before seeming to have entered into a dream. Within the dream, he became the size of a palm and there was a faceless man who had constantly stroked him gently.

That person’s cold fingertips traced along his facial features, every time he petted him, he would gain a bit of warmth, only once that warmth had spread to encompass his entire body did he open his eyes and see…

Just as he was about to recall the appearance of the man in his dream, a male voice coated with reverence sounded from the corridor, startling him out of his stupor. After listening to what was being reported, he had even less of a mood to ponder about those things, that voice said, “Palace Master, per your orders, QianRen has arranged two assisting disciples to be brought to you.”

When, exactly, did I set orders pertaining to this type of thing?!

The moment “He Huan” heard this, he panicked. You have to know, no matter how ridiculous, the Palace of Bliss was still an authentic demonic sect.

So even though their Master, He Huan, wasn’t some proper Demon Lord that was single-mindedly focused on fighting and slaughtering, instead preferring to lounge and frolic around, didn’t mean that his subordinates didn’t know how to go around fighting and slaughtering people.

This fact was even specifically mentioned within the letters, the Head Enforcer of the Palace of Bliss, Bi QianRen, was the best mercenary in the world. Just from his name and title, one could already tell that he wasn’t someone he could afford to provoke.

He was more than 80% sure that He Huan often teased this merciless killer, the only reason why he hadn’t made a move on him would be that even he was helpless in front of this strange poison. Yet thinking from the perspective of a regular straight man, in the face of having a not-so-straight boss constantly tease him, it really wouldn’t be over the top to just kill him one day.

Internally reinforcing the fact that he must not be discovered by QianRen, “He Huan” decidedly picked out a book, lazily laid down on the bed while facing the bronze mirror.

In order to create the image that he was reading, he had one hand hold open the book, while the other was propping up his chin. Pausing for a second in consideration, he decided to keep his back to the stairway as he tried to use an easy tone to address the person standing outside, “Head Enforcer needn’t enter, so as to avoid having your spirits dampened.”

If he had cultivated the Heaven’s Eye Technique, then he would have found that, the moment he opened his mouth, the expression on the black-clothed man standing in the stairwell changed. He gave a meaningful glance at the room before coldly speaking to the two he had brought up with him, “Sai GuanYing, Yun Ce, make sure to properly serve the Master after you enter.”

As QianRen silently retreated, following the sound of footsteps, two figures were reflected in the bronze mirror. Just from looking at their builds, one was a youth dressed in azure robes, the other was a girl in pure white ones. Both had their heads lowered as they took small steps inside, a position that spoke of respect.

It was only then that “He Huan” realized, this bronze mirror was actually able to capture the entire room in its perspective. Although with He Huan’s personality, this property was probably not used for any noble purpose, he would still have to thank He Huan for his whimsical idea. At the very least, he didn’t have to turn around and put his acting abilities to the test.

Fortunately, QianRen hadn’t disobeyed his orders and the two escorts weren’t like the demonic sect disciples often depicted in dramas, where they immediately stripped and pounced. Instead, the two were quietly kneeling waiting for his instructions.

So… in what way can he dismiss them without sparking any doubt? A renowned Demon Lord and lech, suddenly abstaining from sex? It couldn’t be that he needed to say the lightning tribulation had turned him impotent for others to finally believe him, right?

With fingers lightly drumming the pages of the book, “He Huan” racked his brain as he took in the awkward atmosphere steadily being developed, while internally wailing about what could be done.

Our Second Enforcer (I’ll never be able to unsee Outstanding Ginger again) 

今宵世情皆参破，赤条条来方是我 (Jīnxiāo shìqíng jiē cān pò, chìtiáotiáo lái fāng shì wǒ) – the endings of the two lines rhyme in Chinese. Fun fact, this translator originally translated the title as “Tonight, all worldly affairs will shatter before me. That naked person is me.” (it didn’t sound right XD)

He really didn’t know how to play the part of a roguish Demon Lord!

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