Chapter 34: HTSCF CH 032 no milk tea, no life

When the revival timer hit zero, Jun immediately used a teleport to return to his house, then he checked his funds and inventory. After clearing out some unnecessary items, he used real money to purchase gold coins in the game. He bought a Class Changer and a Name Changer. The original Fei Lan, being the Feng Bingwen fanboy that he was, was also a Demon Swordmaster like him.

When there was an Archer class available why wouldn’t Jun change his class to that? But first, he’d change his name. Even though people would be able to tell that he was once <Kneel, peasant!> it wouldn’t be something obvious unless someone looked into his profile. He still hadn’t committed many sins like the original, who kept going after Li Jie even after the first kill order. Yes, there would be more kill orders to come if he continued to be a jealous closeted homosexual.

His name was changed to <no milk tea, no life>, then he used the Class Changer to become an Archer. His gender couldn’t be changed but luckily he had a male avatar. His current looks though—Fei Lan must have been trying to imitate the protagonist. He laughed and bought a Makeover to adjust his avatar’s appearance. 175 cm tall with short fluffy red hair and green eyes was what he imagined his—Jun’s—original body ought to be.

Lastly, he teleported to Crossroads, a city in Atlan, to do the quest that would allow a player to choose to be a Demon or Saint. There was no level requirement as it was a beginner’s quest and was intended to be easy. Jun talked to the NPC and was teleported to the quest’s starting point.

The quest involved walking through the forest and encountering several NPCs, who either talked to him or asked questions and he would respond. Most people responded a specific way, knowing which route they wanted to take, but he answered truthfully as himself.

Who knew that it would lead him to be “one of a kind” again? When he saw the notice screen of the route he had chosen, Jun flipped a proverbial table.

|Hahahahahahahaha, what is that, Host?|

The screen read: “Congratulations! You have unlocked the secret development route, Cursed! From hereon, you are now a Cursed Archer! Unlike Demon or Saint, you will be unable to switch routes.”

It had been a while since he had come across such ridiculousness. What the heck was Cursed? Each route had its buffs that changed the gameplay of every class, and some people choose their developmental route based on that. Jun checked his new buffs.

Luck -300
Damage Received X3

Wasn’t the maximum base luck 250? With the buff, his luck was now -250. That guaranteed that all his drops would be garbage, didn’t it? As for being dealt 3 times the damage? Good thing he was an expert at running away and avoiding danger? Well, sort of.

Exp Gain +300%

That was it. Basically, he would be able to level up crazy fast but be stuck with shitty gear and be susceptible to dying easily unless he shelled out real money to purchase some gear to negate the negative buffs. Jun sighed and cursed his luck, but he wasn’t too worried. This was a VR game and although you could auto attack by having the skills set on using shortcuts, you could also choose to manually move and attack.

With his years of experience handling the bow and arrow, playing as an Archer, even a Cursed one should be effortless. Next, he needed to work on the protagonists. In all the previous worlds he often avoided the protagonists and relied on Azazel and Elior, but he didn’t want to do that anymore. Regardless of how much he wanted to be low-key, the world was still going to make him its reluctant unlucky star.

Jun also wanted to be more proactive in recovering his original memory and finding the real truth to the system, the missions, himself, Azazel, and Elior. There was also something he wanted to confirm. Back at Crossroads, which was a safe zone, Jun scrolled through his friends list to find <Reason To Be> and used the call option.

Soon, there was a voice talking in his ear, much like a phone call. “Hello? Who is this?”

“It’s me… <Kneel, peasant!>.” Jun palmed his face in embarrassment. “I changed my name.”

“… I-I see… And what do you want from me?” Li Jie was currently with Feng Bingwen at Windy Meadows, a popular dating spot in Atlan.

“I want to apologize to you in person if you don’t mind. You can bring Feng Bingwen if you feel unsafe. In fact, it’s better if you bring him.”

Li Jie looked at Feng Bingwen and put the call on silent. “What do you think?” He asked.

Feng Bingwen shrugged. “Why not.”

Taking the call off silent, Li Jie responded. “Sure.”

“Let’s meet at Crossroads. That’s where I am.”

“Alright, we’ll be there soon.” The call ended and a few seconds later, Feng Bingwen and Li Jie appeared at the entrance to Crossroads. They looked around to try and find Jun, but because he changed pretty much everything about “himself,” they didn’t find him, but he found them.

“Hey, over here.” Li Jie saw a slender young man with red hair wave to them while walking over, and his mouth hung open. The image change was a little too much.

“<Kneel, peasant!>?”

Nearly stumbling over his own feet, Jun forced a smile. That name would be a stain on him from now on. “Yes, I’ve changed my name, but you can just call me Jun.”

Li Jie was looking at the name floating above Jun’s head. It really was <no milk tea, no life>. Then he checked the player stats. Not only did Jun change his name and looks, but he had also changed classes, and the ID Number was indeed the same.

“Ok… Jun. You wanted to apologize to me?”

“Yes, I’m sorry for attacking you for no reason. Well, no good reason. Like you, I am gay.”

Eyes wide, Li Jie tried to deny it. “I, I’m not…”

“It’s ok. It’s not your problem, it’s mine. I was just jealous of you. I also want a boyfriend to play this game with.”

This was all utter bullshit, of course, but they didn’t have to know that. His goal was just to make up with Li Jie, who didn’t seem too bad, just your standard hardworking shou with a wife slave gong. Li Jie looked at Jun with some skepticism but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“It’s ok. You can still find a boyfriend to game with. You just won’t be able to marry in-game. But you know, playing as a female isn’t all that fun either… People bully me and call me a ladyboy all the time…”

“Want me to teach you some self-defense?”

“Thank you, but Bingwen said he’ll teach me.”

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|Host, you’ve unlocked this world’s Hidden Mission! Wow, so fast!|

Having expected this, Jun smiled in satisfaction. What he wanted to confirm was that the Hidden Missions were related to the protagonists.

|What’s the mission?|

|Convince the developers of ADAS to allow gender change. Do you accept the mission, dearest Host?|

With his eyes on Li Jie’s female avatar, Jun smiled. Who else could the mission be about but him?

|I accept.|

|Good luck to you, Host. I believe you can do it!|

Having accomplished what he wanted, Jun bid farewell to Feng Bingwen and Li Jie, then went to level up. Most people didn’t change class for two reasons: One, it was pricey and two, your level and progress would return to zero. But that was exactly what Jun wanted, to play as himself. Besides, he had that stupid Exp +300% buff and personal skill set of archery and aikido.

In the Augustine Forest, another popular dating location, most of the wildlife and plants were red and white, creating a haunting but beautiful atmosphere. This was where you could find Vermillion Queens, red flower-like lower-level monsters that gave plenty of experience points. It was a favorite monster to hunt for new players. Unfortunately only those under level 20 could enter Augustine Forest for free.

Once a player reached level 20, they had to pay a fee of 500 gold coins for every 24 hours spent there. For comparison, the price of a Class Changer was 5000 gold coins, the equivalent of USD 100. It was cheaper to move onto other areas to earn exp. But for Jun, $10 was worth it with his buff. He spent the rest of his time killing Vermillion Queens and leveling up, which wasn’t difficult.

All he did was climb a tree and shoot from atop, wait for the monsters to respawn then shoot them down again. He still had enough funds to buy some bows and arrows whenever they broke or when he ran out.

By the time he logged out and returned to the real world, Jun had already reached level 42. The current level limit was set at 119, so reaching 42 was not bad for a few hours of work, but it was all thanks to that stupid buff.

In the real world, Jun removed his VR helmet and stretched. Currently, it was summer and the school year wouldn’t start for another month, so he had plenty of time to fully immerse himself in online gaming. The only problem was he lived in a small studio apartment by himself.

Fei Lan’s parents passed away in an accident when he was 6 but had left him and his grandma a decent amount of money. When he entered high school, he wanted to live on his own to become more socially adept but ended up getting wrapped up in online gaming.

As such, he remained a quiet and soft-spoken boy with black hair, dark eyes, a cute face, a small body, and a height of 170 cm. This height was a little different from what Jun was used to so he had to adjust a little. Fortunately, the difference wasn’t extreme.

(A/N: About 5’7”. Jun is usually 175 cm or 5’9”)

Now that it was almost dinner, Jun checked the mini-fridge and found enough ingredients for a simple meal, but tomorrow he would have to do some shopping. That meant exploring the area since he had none of the memories of the original and had no idea where anything was, but at least he knew that he was in T City.

Once he finished cooking, Jun sat down and ate his dinner absentmindedly. He felt a little empty inside eating alone. From when he parted with Azazel and Elior, it had already been 15 years…

In another country, a tall man removed his VR helmet and ran a hand through his golden hair. He took a sip of the glass of water next to him and waited for the other person in the room to remove his VR helmet.

When the other man with silver hair woke up to the real world, the first thing he said was: “You missed out on a very interesting alert.”

“What’d I miss?” The golden-haired man asked as he took another sip of water.

“Someone unlocked the Cursed route.”

Water spewed out and splashed onto the floor as the golden-haired man choked and coughed on his water. “Really?”

“Really.”

“I made that as a cruel joke on a whim, thinking that no one would ever unlock it.”

“Well, someone did.”

“What’s the player’s name?”

“<no milk tea, no life>.”

“What’s milk tea?”

“I don’t know.”

“… Ok, then… What’s his real name?”

“Fei Lan.”

—

A/N: Ohohoho, who could those two be right? Pfft.

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