Chapter 114: Chapter 112: Lies After Lies

“*Hic* *Hic* *Sniff*”

“There, there.”

The situation I’m in right now is mind-boggling. Yuki has her arms wrapped around my back, her face is on my chest with a crying face. I don’t know anything that leads to her acting like this. But, is sleeping with Yuki really made her this depressed? I can’t tell.

However, one thing’s for sure, I need to coax her with all my might. It pains me to see her crying face. So I kept stroking her back. Anyway, we’re back in the room once again, the room where I got taken advantage of last week by the same girl who’s crying in my arms right now. To be honest, after getting in the room, she tackled me then started crying.

“There, there, I’m here, it’s okay, there, there. Why are you crying?”

“*Sniff* *Hic*”

Those are the words that I keep saying all repeatedly, no matter how many I repeat my questions. She only kept crying. That’s why I was pondering on my thoughts on why she’s acting like this. I can’t really get my head over the part that upset her. And, knowing her personality, it’s impossible for her to cry like this just because of her jealousy.

It went for a while before she finally stopped crying. I’m lying down in the bed, while the crying Yuki was on top of me. Before that, I was earnestly counting the flowers on the ceiling. There are 134 of them, counting the little ones too. Why is the ceiling have this flowered patterns design engraved in it? I don’t get it.

Unto the important matters, Yuki stopped crying. Her face is still on my chest. Then she looked up with her teary-eyed face. Our eyes glanced at each other. I can’t help myself but mull over at how cute her face was right now. Ignoring my thoughts, I softly smiled at her.

“You good now?”

“Mhmm, thank you... Can I stay like this for a while?”

“Yeah, you can.” After saying that, I stroked her hair gently.

We stayed like that as silence enveloped the entire room. Engulfing in silence, as we feel each other’s warmth, but I could feel Naoki’s heartbeat pounding as well as mine. Stroking her silky silver-colored hair, I recalled a small memory of me doing the exact same thing to Yuki when we’re a child at that time. Yuki likes being patted and stroking her in the head because Sayuri-nee would often do this to her whenever they would meet. She likes—No; she loves it.

Ever since they were kids, the two haven’t really met each other because Sayuri-nee lives with their parents while Yuki lives with gramps. As for the reason? I don’t know. They seldom meet each other as Sayuri-nee is always busy with her studies. But, that doesn’t mean Yuki wouldn’t get attached to Sayuri-nee. She’s the perfect definition of an Onee-san.

“Hey, Yu-chan, are you crying because of Sayuri-nee?”

“Mhmm...” Yuki nodded.

“You really love her, huh...? Sayuri-nee always has been friendly and kind to everyone, that’s why gramps chose you over her to inherit because her kind nature would be the cause of the befall of the great Hatsumi household. I know that what gramps did seems harsh, separating you from your parents, but he only did it for—”

“For the family... I know, I’m not angry at grandpa, he’s kind and caring to me. He doesn’t let me do anything that I don’t want, he’s practically spoiling me.”

“Well, he loves you.”

“I know...”

“And, I love you too.” I smiled at her.

Yuki’s eyes widen. Then she giggled softly. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that. I love you too.”

“Don’t worry, I may have some problem with my brain right now, but I believe I can recover.” I bought her face closer to my face and pressed my lips against her. She accepted it wholeheartedly, with a smile on her face. But it only lasted shortly.

“Do you have any clues on Sayuri-nee’s whereabouts?”

“No... Grandpa even initiated the search for her overseas, but til to this day, no news about her. I’m useless... Sayu-nee is the person who would do anything for me, but now, I can’t even repay all those things...”

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“Is that why you’ve been always depressed?”

Yuki nodded.

Caressing her cheeks, I embraced her tightly. I can feel her honest emotions on her tone every time she reminiscence Sayuri-nee. While at it, I'm angry at myself for not remembering her. After that dream, I've been forcing myself to remember those memories that my brain doesn't want to remember.

"I've got a question, Yuki."

"What is it?"

"I've been mulling over some things like the dreams and memories that started resurfacing on my mind recently."

"Like what?"

"How do I say this, I suddenly recalled some dreams of mine that I forgot for the last past week such as the dream of me wandering in a dusky forest, while following a path, I saw a distressed boy crying over a girl lying flat on the ground as if she's lifeless, all bloody over from head to toe."

Yuki listened carefully as she purses her lips.

"Then the next one, the voices of children's that I've no clue who they are or what's their relation to me. It only started getting back to me after our little talk with Izumi-sensei."

"That fast?"

"I-I don't know... Then earlier, a memory of a piece of paper lying in the room of my sister."

I bit my lips and said. "Then recently a memory of me, gazing outside of a tiny hole, on that hole; I can only see whiteness while countless snowflakes fall from the starry night sky. From what I remember, my whole body is shivering in coldness as my surroundings are all pitch-black, all alone in the dark."

Listening to me, tears started pouring out of Yuki's eyes then she kept repeating these words to me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...."

Yuki's shoulders are trembling. I was baffled by what my eyes are perceiving right now. Yuki's arms warped around me got tighter while still muttering those words to me.  A turmoil started dwelling inside my chest, it pains me to see Yuki being like this. I can't help myself but hug her tightly as tears started forming around the corners of my eyes.

After apologizing, she then said. "I'm sorry for everything. If I wasn't useless I wouldn't lose Naoki and you that day... As well Nee-san... I'm just a deadweight. I can't do anything. I'm useless. Everything was only given to me without even doing anything. I'm incompetent."

"If I only manage to call someone for help that day, I should've been able to save you guys. But, I'm scared that my knees gave up that day. I'm sorry for being a coward. If not for me, you wouldn't suffer twice. If not for me, Nee-san should've been here. If not for me, you'll be able to live a normal life. Sorry for existing."

It knitted my eyebrows and angrily yelled at Yuki. "Shut up!"

It made Yuki flinched. Yuki buried her face in my chest while saying those stuff to me. But those words that she spouted out of her mouth only made me angry. I know that she's regretful of what she did, but that doesn't mean she needs to cling to it. How could one person be able to achieve something in life, if that person still clings to the past?

Regret, a word that I despise the most. Regretting over something that already happened is moronic. I know that I live in a society where one's mistake could end their career or even their own life, but mulling over that mistake won't do anything other than getting over it and learn from it.

I grabbed Yuki's cheeks making her eyes look at me. "I don't care what happened in the past, but if you regret something just because you weren't able to do anything that time then you're an idiot. Remember, we're not always born strong from the get-go. In life, we have up and downs throughout life."

"We are only humans, we're not meant to be perfect. Have you seen a flawless human being in the world? No. A strong person is not the one who doesn't cry, they're the one who cries and shed tears for a moment, then gets up and fights again."

"If you really can't get up by yourself, learn to rely on others. Alone, we can only do so little, but remember you have people around you, and because of that we can do more than just a little." I grinned meaningfully.

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