Chapter 1: Ch 001

Toshi stopped walking as he tried to figure out where the planet went.

 

He looked around and found himself in a giant, formless, white space. No horizon. No ground. No sky. It was like he was floating in a blank web page. Thinking hard, he tried to remember the last thing that happened, ~I was walking across the street. It was late. I was trying to make my way home from work. Then...~ He glanced around and muttered to himself, "Something happened?"

 

He heard a voice behind him, "Uh-oh."

 

Toshi turned around, or rather, he flailed about and managed to slowly rotate toward the voice. It turned out that not having ground to stand on makes controlling one's orientation rather difficult.

 

There was a rather tall, willowy person behind him, floating in that same endless white void. The face had an androgynous look about it. He was scratching his upper lip and looking like he had just bitten down on a rather nasty tasting sandwich.

 

Toshi continued to rotate to face his new found companion, "HEY! What's going on?"

 

The being gritted his teeth and looked uncomfortable, "Annnnnnd you are alive. This is going to be a problem."

 

Toshi's eyes went wide with surprise and a hint of fear, "Why is being listed among the living bad?"

 

The being suddenly smiled, "Hi! I suppose from your point of view I'm... god. Well. A god. Not your original god." He scratched his chin and looked off into the distance, "And... This is... this is bad."

 

Toshi stared at 'god' before shouting, "EXPLAIN!"

 

The god turned back to Toshi, "Oh? Hrmmm... Well... Your universe sideswiped one of my universes."

 

Toshi blinked a few times in rapid succession, "Like a car?"

 

God nodded, "Good analogy! Yes. Like a car and in order to avoid your planet exploding your god and... I... we... er..." He scratched his head, "Hard to explain. Prevented something bad? I think that's the way to put it."

 

"So the world wasn't destroyed?" Toshi looked about the white void, "I was starting to wonder."

 

God nodded and smiled, "Nothing was destroyed, actually! Except... we might have traded a little..." He held up two fingers an inch apart, "Paint."

 

Toshi raised an eyebrow in a quizzical fashion, "Paint?"

 

God slowly held out a hand to point at Toshi, "Paint."

 

Toshi pointed at himself, "I'm paint."

 

God nodded, "Yes." He sighed, "I'm only god in a world I control. Transferring you back to your world would be... unadvisable."

 

Toshi blinked, "Wait. You are a god and you can't send me back to my world?"

 

God shook his head, "Oh no. I can send you back! I can totally send you back." He looked around avoiding Toshi's gaze, "Except the chronometric sheer would completely shred your existence across several centuries and you would experience what it meant to die screaming for an eternity as your soul was basically turned into pizza topping."

 

Toshi gaped.

 

God looked back at Toshi, "Frankly, I have no idea how you got here in one piece."

 

Toshi looked around frantically then back at god, "WHAT? You're... you are GOD! How could you not know?"

 

God sighed, "Look. This whole omniscient, omnipresent thing? You guys made that up. I'm powerful and knowledgable, but not infinite. Infinities don't exist. I have my limits. If I didn't, there wouldn't be any room for you."

 

Toshi opened his mouth, then closed it. He wound up being silent for a long time as he thought.

 

Eventually God spoke, "You okay? Need a decade or two so you can get a grasp on this?" Toshi looked up, "Wait. You said... ONE of your universes." He tried to follow a train of thought that was still forming in his head, "So... you could... give me a new life in one of yours?"

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God tapped his chin with a finger and gazed off into the distance, "That... is possible. I guess I could." His eyes snapped back to Toshi, "Yes. I can do that."

 

Toshi tried to jump for joy, but being no ground, he just basically flexed his limbs in a strange parody of jumping jacks, "YES! I wanna be a powerful wizard and have a bunch of cheats and an extra-dimensional storage space and a-"

 

"Hold up!" God held up a hand flat towards Toshi, "What are you talking about?"

 

Toshi looked a little sheepish, "I've read about this?" He tried to sound hopeful, "You send me to a sword and sorcerer world and I get to be a hero and fight dragons?"

 

"Wait... you mean this has happened before?" God's expression slowly grew darker, "Some sadistic God took someone from a modern industrial society and dropped them into a medieval world without a single care of the consequences?" He gaped in horror, "That's SICK! I would never do such a thing!"

 

Toshi looked crestfallen, "Oh."

 

God waved a finger in a dismissive fashion, "No way. I'll reincarnate you in a world like your old one, thank you very much." He stared off into the distance, "I think I have one... somewhere... oh! Yes! That one! It's just like your old world. A few changes in history, but nothing out of the ordinary." He nodded as if confirming his choice to himself, "Seems basically the same."

 

"Wait!" Toshi held up his hands like he was begging, "Can I at least make requests?"

 

God eyed Toshi out of the corner of his eye, "Very well."

 

Toshi let out a long breath, "Okay... I... would like to be young again, but not a baby. maybe... fifteen or so?"

 

"I can do that."

 

Toshi started to look more hopeful, "I hope I could be good looking?"

 

God thought for a moment, "Sure. That's doable."

 

Toshi smiled and spoke faster and with more confidence, "And popular! And I want to keep my memories! And I want to be rich! And-"

 

"Hold It!" God did the stop hand gesture again, "I'm not going to rewrite reality for you! I'm just going to find someone who died and stick you in there. The more restrictions you give me, the weirder this is going to get."

 

Toshi winced, "Oh. Well, does this world at least have a Japan?"

 

God nodded.

 

Toshi let out a short sigh of relief, "Okay. That's important. That, young, good looking and rich would be nice." He scratched his chin, "I guess being popular is optional. Well, the being rich is optional as well." He squinted, "You know what? I think you know what I'm going for. I'll trust your judgement. Pick something you think would be a good match for me."

 

"I get that this is sort of my fault." God started gesturing as if manipulating something Toshi could not see, "But you are being a serious pain in my ass." He moved his hands as if he was swiping left through a series of images, "Nope... nope... nope... Next. Nope... nope.... nope... next." He stopped, "Ooo! Japan. Almost sixteen. Head trauma. Brain dead. Soul already moved on. Popular. Good looking. Not that rich." God shrugged, "But not poor either." He looked at Toshi, "Hey. You even get to keep the same name."

 

Toshi blinked, "Really?" God nodded, "Half of it at least." Toshi thought for a bit, then shrugged, "Okay. I'll take that one."

 

God gave a thumbs up, "Good! Glad we could resolve this satisfactorily!" God frowned, "And... sorry. I'm glad I could give you a second chance."

 

Toshi shrugged, "Honestly? My life sucked. I'm kinda glad for a do over. This time, with a head full of everything I've learned, I'll make the most of being fifteen and become a success in life, not some corporate drone."

 

God was already stabbing the air with a finger over and over. The world started to shimmer and swirl, growing darker and darker. God nodded along with what Toshi was saying, "Sure... sure..." God pulled back his finger and paused right before he stabbed the air, one last time.

 

"And hey, if all else fails, you can just sleep your way to the top."

 

Toshi blinked, "Excuse me?"

 

Everything went black.

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