Food For Thaught [An Absurd Sci-Fi Time-Travel Comedy]

Chapter 2: Chapter 2 – Donut Haven


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Chapter 2 - Donut Haven

As Thaught opened the door and took her first step out of the building, she felt a strong, inexplicable urge. The kind of urge when you are at the supermarket, trying to choose which lettuce to buy and you momentarily think of burning the whole building down. The kind of urge you have when you are walking on the fourth floor, minding your own business, and suddenly feel like throwing your suitcase out the window. That kind of urge.

Her brain was telling her to go right. This was the way that lead to the station. From there, she would hop on the train and off she would go, on a magical journey, lasting anywhere between 12 and 15 minutes, depending on traffic, all the way to downtown New Bork City. A place hustlin’ and bustlin’, full of life and energy.

It felt like the center of the whole wide world, with all kinds of people leading their own busy life. To her, and to everyone that was renting an apartment there, it felt like home. Then, she would come right back, since her office was on the opposite side of the city, on the outskirts. She only visited the city centre because she vibed with it and wanted a boost of energy that would not come in the form of liquid or powder before going to work.

But her heart was saying “left”. Or maybe it was her stomach saying that. How could one say no to Mrs. Hollie's fresh donuts when their fragrance invades your personal space first thing in the morning? Biting into one of these heavenly rings felt like biting into an angel's halo, except without the unnecessary screaming, complaints, and hand gestures of the angel.

It's my first day of work, I should bring treats, shouldn't I?” She rationalized while she was already right outside of the bakery, hesitantly grabbing the door handle, then leaving it and walking a step away, only to come back, grab it again and then leave it once more. Until she made up her mind. She grabbed the handle with conviction, her face now more serious than ever, and you could almost see sparks coming out of her blue eyes.

And she pulled!

Then she pulled again, because the door did not budge the first time. But again, nothing happened. And she pulled once more. She was pulling so hard and so decisively that she could not see Mrs. Hollie inside, flaring her hands in an attempt to tell her she needs to push instead.

After a few minutes and some fighting with passersby who had the audacity to try and help, Thaught finally managed to open the door.

Finally!” Thaught said as she stepped inside and walked towards the counter.

Hi sweetie!” said Mrs. Hollie as she started walking back, towards the opposite side of the counter while twisting and turning like a ballerina and even did an impressive ciseaux, landing right behind the cash register.

She switched from ballet to swing dancing before saying: “Here, in the donut haven, we have everything you ever craved! Delicious donuts, crunchy but also soft cronuts, the weird, but decadent cake donuts and, of course, pronuts! What will you have?”

They all sound delicious! But I've never heard of a pronut, to be honest. Are they like high-protein, healthy donuts? Hope they don't have any spinach inside or I may have to call the police on you.”

Oh, no, cupcake. The pronuts are for pro members only,” Hollie responded, almost out of breath, as she switched to tap dancing this time. “With only $4.99 per month, you get access to pronuts, your very own membership card, and a monthly kiss on the forehead.” She then jumped on top of the counter, holding a rose with her teeth, trying to reach Thaught's forehead for a kiss and grab her hand to dance the waltz together.

No, thanks. I think I will pass for now, both on the pronuts and especially on the waltz. Please stop.” Thaught took five steps backwards, now almost at the entrance again. From there, she yelled, “Can you please tell me what this donut is?” as she took out of her pocket a laser pointer and pointed at a triangular donut with some kind of blue ooze coming out of it.

Mrs. Hollie could not focus on a specific donut at that point, as she was too busy head-spinning on top of the counter. She had to stop and do the macarena instead, since it felt a bit more stable. “This? Oh, this is my famous blueberry donut. I'm sure you'll love it, honey.”

And what is this? This blue thing coming out of it that reminds me of the time I had one-too-many laundry detergent pods, two days ago.”

That's a delicious raspberry coulis.”

Oh, haha, you got me there! Of course it's some kind of blueberry cream, right? Nice one!”

No, cutie pie, it really is a raspberry coulis. I put a bit of food coloring to make it blue,” Mrs Hollie said, as she pulled up a bucket full of blue wall paint and a paintbrush. Inside the bucket, Thaught could see a few donuts floating on top of the paint.

I don't think that coloring food with paint makes it automatically 'food coloring'. But, more importantly, why is it blue if it has raspberry in it? You even call it a blueberry donut!”

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Oh, my sweet banana bread, have you ever seen anyone have a raspberry donut or muffin before?”

No. Of course not,” Thaught said, trying to show no expression on her face as she remembered her student days, where she would put some form of raspberry on every single thing. Ice cream would have raspberry syrup on top. Pork would have a raspberry sauce with it. Cereal would have whole raspberries instead of cereal and even the flowers on her balcony were replaced by raspberries. No one should ever know.

That's exactly why,” Mrs. Hollie responded and pointed her index finger towards the side of her head. “It's called 'marketing'”

I thought it was called the 'blueberry donut', 'marketing' is the one next to it, with the pink glaze, the sprinkles and the chocolate drops next to it,” Thaught said as she pointed at a donut a bit further to the left, which had a name tag underneath it, saying 'marketing donut'.

Anyway,” Thaught continued, “Today is my first day at work and I would like to bring some donuts with me to... you know... get on their right side. Maybe bribe myself out of some boring work. That kind of stuff. Can I please have a baker's dozen?”

Mrs. Hollie, who was now dancing bachata by herself, suddenly stopped. A deep sorrow appeared in her eyes as she looked up, after hearing Thaught's request. “Are you sure, muffin? Baker's dozen?”

Yeah, a baker's dozen, please.”

So, this is your final answer? Baker's dozen?”

Baker's dozen.”

Tears started running down Mrs. Hollie's face, who was still keeping a poker face. She thought she was doing a great job of hiding her emotions, but she really wasn't. She started doing the rain dance to, hopefully, justify the tears, before running to the kitchen, but Thaught wasn't even looking at her at that point. Her eyes and focus were fixed on a certain cheesecake donut that was on the bakery showcase, to the point she didn't even realize she was drooling and slowly creating a small pond around her.

Mrs. Hollie came back a few moments later, holding a big donut box that had 13 donuts inside, just like in a regular baker's dozen. But on the outside, there was a blue ribbon wrapping the box diagonally. Something was written on top of it with big blue letters.

Thaught got closer and looked at the box, which read:

Congratulations on your new, successful bakery. We are very proud of you and your achievement! Sorry for kicking you out of the house for not becoming a doctor. We love and support you! From: Mom & Dad,” with the ribbon on top writing 'World’s proudest parents' across.

That's not exactly what I meant,” said Thaught while pushing the box towards Mrs. Hollie, “when I asked for a baker's dozen.”

Mrs. Hollie pushed the box back towards Thaught so hard that she made her take a few steps back. “Take it before I change my mind!” She yelled.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! And thank you for the donuts." Thaught hastily put her hand in her pocket, looking for money to pay for her donuts.

Without even looking, she placed on the counter a not big enough amount of dollars, an old shirt button and a tiny piece of well-done steak before turning around.

She immediately rushed off with the huge box of donuts in hand, kicking the glass door open, leaving it with a small crack in the process, while Mrs. Hollie mourned and wept for the only gift her parents ever gave her.

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