Chapter 3: Chapter 3 – Donut Shoot!

Mrs. Hollie's weeping lasted but mere seconds, six or seven, before she heard the shop's doorbell and reset herself back to her ballet dance moves, cheerfully saying "Hi sweetie!" while lifting her head to greet the new customer.

Except, it was not a new customer. Thaught came back, panicking like an introvert that had to answer an unexpected phone call. "You won't believe what happened!" she said, slamming her hands on the counter and getting her face so close to Mrs. Hollie that she could even count the freckles on Thaught's face.

"Right as I walked out of the store, a rampaging man flew right past me and stole my whole box of donuts, leaving me with nothing! Can you believe it!? I have nothing to bring to work with me now. Can I have another baker's dozen please?"

With chocolate and custard all over her face, with part of a donut stuck in her left nostril and with blue raspberry coulis coming out of her mouth, Thaught's story was arguably not the most believable. In fact, Mrs. Hollie would find it easier to believe that someone pointed a gun at Thaught's head and demanded that she eats every single one of the donuts inside the box in less that four minutes and forty four seconds.

But she didn't really mind. Without saying anything, she moved back towards the kitchen, doing capoeria-style spins and came back with another, equally big box full of donuts with another blue ribbon and big blue letters. "We have heard that weird things have been happening in New Bork City lately, so we decided to send you another box of donuts in case something goes wrong when delivering the first one. Love, world’s proudest parents," it wrote.

"Oh... great... Thanks!" Thaught said awkwardly, trying to act like this was a completely normal situation. She took the box and was about to spin around like MJ when they both heard it.

*BOOP*

They both turned around to see that a very fashionable man, Mack, dressed in all black had just bumped into the storefront, mistaking it for the door. He was calm and composed, not bothered by this accident, and correctly went to the door afterwards.

And he pulled!

And then pulled some more because the door did not open the first time. And then he kept pulling with the power of a thousand suns. Some of the people waiting for their bus to work in the nearby bus station started losing their hope in humanity after seeing two people do the exact same mistake in the span of ten minutes. The bus was unusually late that day.

An imaginary lamp lit up in the man's head. Coincidentally, this happened at the same time another man shouted at him from afar, "Come on, mate! All ya gotta do is shove instead of pullin’. Quite easy, innit?"

And shove he did. He took four steps back and charged towards the door, pushing it with force much greater than necessary. He flicked the bottom left part of his black suit, revealing an equally black glock which he took out and pointed at Thaught and Mrs. Hollie.

Mack took an uncomfortably deep breath in and yelled from the top of his lungs, "Stop right there! This is the police!" He then stopped and looked slightly up and to the right for a second, in deep thought, realizing he messed up the most important line. His opener. It was actually not the police, as he was on his day off that day.

First impressions are really important, as they can often decide big parts of your life. If Mack had made a better first impression on his first day of elementary school, maybe he would have some friends by now. Maybe if Mack had made a better first impression on his interview at the fashion house, he would have gotten the job of his dreams and would not have to become a police officer instead. And maybe if Mack did not think that broccoli looks like a small green, rotten tree, he would eat his damn vegetables more frequently.

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"This is a robbery!" He corrected himself, "An armed one at that!" Mack continued, pointing with his index finger and his eyes at the gun he was holding.

"Woah! Take it easy there. You'll get what you want, plus a delicious donut, so let's relax a bit." Said Thaught, trying to calm things down while Mrs. Hollie was half rave-dancing and half opening the cash register.

"I hate donuts!" He squeaked, "They are just bread and sugar; but worse!"

That was the point when, in both Thaught's and Mrs. Hollie's eyes, Mack had now fallen in rank and was not even worthy of being called a human being anymore. "And I lied. This is not exactly a robbery," he continued.

"As you are not exactly human. What do you mean you don't like donuts? Are you sure you've tried a good one?" Answered Thaught, obviously irritated by Mack's statement. "This crazy lady right here makes the best donuts in town. Don't at me!"

"You mean to not point at you?" Mack asked, confused. "I don't think you are in a position to have any demands."

"No, I mean don't at me... you know... like, I know what I'm saying is right and I'm ending the discussion," Thaught said.

"Oh okay, thanks! Today I learned something."

"No problem, dude. Anyway, you should try one of her donuts."

"I won't. But you will," Mack said and, with a few quick strides, dashed towards Thaught, stopping right in front of her and putting his gun on her temple, ready to shoot. "The donuts in your box. Eat them right now or I'll blow you up!"

"Are you kidding me? If I eat all these donuts at once, I'll blow up anyway. Do you even know how many calories each one has?" Said Thaught.

Mack grabbed a heavily filled donut from the counter and threw it, spinning, in the air high enough to get close to the ceiling, but not high enough to make you wonder if it will bump into it or not. Once it reached its highest point, he shot it, making a hole right in the middle, splattering creamed blue cheese all over the ceiling and floor. "I said 'eat them'. You have four minutes and forty four seconds"

 

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