Chapter 21: Chapter: 21 The Ugly God

Ahri POV

A day had passed since Talasin woke up screaming like he was being stabbed to death with a ballpoint pen. He shouted something about the world ending and then he passed out again. 

That was why Ahri was sitting on the back of the wagon and with Talasin asleep beside her. She didn't have a chance to do much for him though. Ysolda kept hovering over him, with her oversized breasts pressed against his chest. Every time he moaned she gave him a sip of water or wiped the sweat from his brow. It was disgusting. 

Ysolda even had the cheek to tell Ahri not to worry because Tala was a fighter. ‘Tala’ really. The bitch already had a pet name for him. 

Who the hell does this big breasted woman think she is? She’s known Talasin for a few weeks and is already acting like his goddamn wife.

What made things worse was that the weirdo clowns were avoiding Ahri like it was somehow her fault. Giselle was still friendly but she had taken to the young couple Jinn and Zoey just like Talasin had said she would. When it came time to leave Ahri would miss the little girl and every day that she spent with her she felt her resolve growing weaker. 

Why couldn't things be simple. The first time I step out of my realm in hundreds of years and everything has to turn to shit. 

Hood’s damn mindworm was burrowing into Talasin’s mind and he only had a day or two left before it turned his brain to mush.

She wondered why Hood had become so impatient. Their plans were going along smoothly, well apart from Talasin running away but things were back on track. The harbingers had searched for hundreds of years to find a way to free their elder god and now that the end was in sight they were rushing it. One misstep could spell disaster for them all. 

If things went bad and the harbingers betrayed her, which was likely, she had a back up plan- Talasin. She wasn't lying when she’d told him he needed to kill a god. No if they were going to get out of this alive he needed to grow stronger and build a god killing deck of spell cards.

---

The wagon jerked to a halt and Zoey shouted, “We are there. Mount Orneth, the altar of Ramogos.” 

Talasin was still passed out on the back of the wagon when Ahri arrived to fetch him. She climbed up and saw Ysolda leaning over him and kissing him full on the lips. The woman looked up and saw Ahri then began to sob. 

An awkward minute passed as the two women just stared at each other. Ysolda shuffled closer and hugged her. 

“Take care of my Tala,” she said. 

Ahri didn't like farewells. She hardly knew the Mesmers but each one of them came up to her and hugged her and told her to take care of Talasin. He seemed to have really made an impression on them. 

Giselle ran up to her and hugged her too. 

“Jinn and Zoey have asked me to stay with them. Can I?”

Ahri smiled at the girl and hugged her again. She was upset. She knew it didn't make sense but it felt like she was being abandoned again. No matter how hard she tried, people always left her in the end. 

She kissed Giselle on the cheek and told her that she deserved the best life possible and that Jinn and Zoey could give that to her.

“I will visit again after Talasin is healed,” Ahri said. 

This cheered them up even though it was a lie. If Talasin lived there was no way she would let him come back to these bunch of clowns. She needed him well and on her side. His mad ravings were right, the world was coming to an end and it was her job to make sure it happened without a hitch. 

---

Ahri opened up her map and studied the path over the mountain. The shortest path ran over a waterfall and up a steep cliff. Talasin was too weak to make that trip. Ahri checked the map again and found a long pass that went through an area called Basil Bush. It sounded harmless enough.

Baskin had given Talasin a walking stick which he used to stumble alongside Ahri. They stopped and rested often and in those times Ahri would pour water into his mouth and give him a few slivers of dried meat and cheese. 

She tried speaking to him but he hardly noticed her. He seemed to be trapped in a dream. He mumbled constantly and the few words she could understand were about death and burning.

They were not alone on the mountain side though. Ahri spotted a few naked mole rats and a blob creature that looked like it was covered in anuses. 

Ramogos did not like beauty so Mount Orneth was occupied solely by ugly creatures. The god was a bit self conscious. He’d been born hideously ugly so travelers made offerings of the ugliest things they could find to appease the ugly god. 

The ugly offerings were meant to put Ramogos in a good mood because he saw that there were uglier things in the world than him. These offerings ensured a safe trip over the mountain and favorable winds.

Ahri had purchased a dried reaper eel for an offering. She just hoped it was ugly enough. It sure as hell smelt bad enough.

---

The wild life became scarcer the higher they got and the stony ground was replaced by long razor grass that grew between every rocky outcrop. The grass was sharp and cut their legs so Ahri kept to the path as they continued their trek up the mountain. 

It was late afternoon when Ahri heard a low rumbling sound. She couldn't tell if it was from a waterfall or wind blowing between cliffs in the mountainside. 

They stopped for a break and she helped Talasin sit down on a rock. Ahri heard the rumbling sound again but louder this time.

She looked around and saw a faint trail of smoke rising between two rock faces. 

“Talasin, are you going to be ok if I leave you for a bit.”

He remained silent and Ahri took his silence as a yes. 

Ahri headed in the direction of the smoke and as she drew nearer she realized that the rumbling and the smoke were coming from a cave. Her mind raced with thoughts of dragons hiding in lairs. So, she slowed down and peeped around a dead tree trunk and peered into the cave. A fire was burning but nobody was there. That was when she realized that the rumbling had stopped.

She turned in time to see two mountain trolls covered in necklaces adorned with human skulls striding through the razor grass. They hadn't seen her yet but they had almost reached the spot where she had left Talasin.

“Hey over here!” she shouted and waved her arms.

The trolls stopped and stared but they didn't seem interested in chasing her.

“Did you know that trolls are so ugly,” said Ahri. “That their blowjobs count as anal.”

That got their attention. 

Ahri fled in the opposite direction and the trolls gave chase. She didn't have much of a plan, she just needed to get to Talasin before they did.

Razor grass cut her legs but she ignored it and kept running. The trolls were gaining ground. Each step of their freakishly long legs were equal to three of her own steps. 

There was no way she could outrun them. She looked up the hill and a plan formed in her mind. She transformed the sleeves of her blouse and they stretched up the hill and wrapped around a few large rocks. 

The trolls drew nearer and Ahri pulled as hard as she could but the rocks would not budge. She wrapped her arms around her sleeves and pulled again. The thudding sound of heavy footsteps drew nearer. 

Ahri extended her sleeves further and climbed on top of a large rock. A troll pulled out a bola- three connected ropes with a ball on each end- and swung it above its head as it tracked her movement.

The troll released the bola and Ahri jumped. She felt her grip on the rocks on the hillside loosen and then she heard the roar as the rocks hurled down the side of the mountain towards them.

She withdrew her elongated sleeves and ran. A troll screamed behind her but she did not stop to look. The landslide was still hurling towards her as she reached the edge of the cliff.

“Ahri! Ahri!”

She almost ran into Talasin who was leaning on his walking stick and staring at the landslide coming towards them with wide eyes.

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She grabbed his hand and said, “Help.”

He wrapped one arm around her and reached into his spellbag. 

Ahri closed her eyes as rocks plummeted towards them. 

“Hold on tight,” said Talasin and then invisible hands gripped her in the core of her stomach and thrust them forward at an insane speed.

Talasin had used Leap of Faith and had shot them over the cliff. She opened her eyes and saw them flying through the sky and down below she saw jagged rocks and certain death.

“I should have chosen Feather Fall,” he said.

Ahri couldn't help but laugh.

“Make a parachute,” said Talasin.

Could she do that? She didn't know. She transformed her clothing. Silk wrapped around her and Talasin, binding them together. 

Her blouse enlarged like a colossal balloon and the air caught the parachute. She felt their descent slowing and then they were gently drifting down onto the spikes below.

“Loosen the grip on my arms,” Talasin shouted.

She released some on the bindings and his hand came free. He dug into the spellbag and cast a spell. The ground beneath them flattened like an invisible hand had descended from the heavens and slammed into the earth. 

Ahri’s feet touched the ground. She stumbled and fell still entangled with Talasin. They bumped into each other and rolled and then came to a rest.

“I think I broke something,” said Talasin.

“What?” asked Ahri.

“Everything.”

---

Ramogos’ altar was hidden in a cave behind a black door that had a head of medusa on it. They entered the cave and bioluminescent mushrooms filled the room with blue light. 

In the center of the small cramped room was an altar with various deformed skulls of magical beasts and humans lying around it. Above the altar was the statue of Ramogos and on the altar was a tiny candle and an empty clay bowl. 

Ahri helped Talasin down and he lay against a cool wall as she prepared the offering. She lit the candle then placed the reaper eel into the small bowl. 

“What are you doing?” asked Talasin.

The adrenaline rush seemed to have woken him up a bit. His skin was still an ashen color and dark rings circled his eyes.

“If Ramogos is willing,” said Ahri. “Then as long as the candle burns we can speak to him.”

“What do we do now?”

“We wait and see if the ugly bastard will accept our offering.”

“Really Ahri?” boomed the statue of Ramogos. “You should be more careful of how you address a god, especially when you come asking for favors.”

The reaper eel burst into flames and the smell of charred fish filled the air.

“Ugly enough for you, Ramogos?” she asked. “Or should I have dipped it in shit first?” 

“As delightful as ever, Ahri. But I'm sure you didn't drop by just to swap pleasantries. What do you want from me?”

“My friend is dying, help him.”

“Friend, since when does the goddess Ahri have friends? You mean your tool is dying.”

“Think whatever you like, you self righteous prick. Can you heal him or not? If not, save us the time so we can find a god who can.”

The eyebrows of the statue rose a fraction.

“You’re in a fouler mood than usual. Did you have a run in with my pets?”

“You mean those shit eater trolls that tried to kill us?”

The statue made an odd choking sound and Ahri realized it was laughing.

“I’ll heal your friend Ahri but first tell me what you are doing? There is talk that you abandoned your realm and that you are traveling with a hero, seeking to find Gavriel.”

“Gavriel?” said Ahri. “I have no interest in the Sword Saint.”

“You come to me with lies and ask me for a favor.”

“Just save him Ramogos, with all these god killings that have been happening we could all use whatever friends we can get.”

“Is that a threat?” he asked.

“It's a warning, times are changing.”

“Yes, I see the changes all around. Allies at war with each other. Cities being torn apart. Not all change is good.” 

Ahri looked over at Talasin, he’d passed out again.

“Then be part of the good, heal this boy.”

“Spit into the offering bowl,” said the god. “And rub the ash onto your hero’s forehead.”

Ahri did as she was told and then said, “This stuff smells like ass.”

She knelt down beside Talasin and drew a single line of ash down his forehead to the bridge of his nose and then she waited. 

---

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