Chapter 23: Chapter: 23 Tinkerer

Marshhaven was a village of about twenty thatched huts. It was built on the bank of a river on one side and the edge of a forest on the other. Willow trees were scattered between huts and on the corner of every red bricked street.

The largest building which drew most of my attention sat on the furthest side of the village. It was a gray brick spire with multiple chimneys jutting out of its sides like cannons on the side of a ship.

As we entered Marshhaven we were greeted by an old woman, dressed in a pink frock, walking a metallic spider.

“Oh my me,” said Ahri.

“Is that a god joke?” I asked.

She laughed.

“Don't,” I said. “They are as bad as dad jokes.”

The old woman’s pet spider made a series of clicking sounds and then scuttled up to Ahri.

“What the hell is that thing?” said Ahri as she pushed me between her and the spider.

The old woman smiled sheepishly as said, “His name's Rusty. My new Iron Walker- got him last winter to help out with the gardening.”

She petted the Spider on its head.

“Who's a good little spider? Yes you are.”

“I'm guessing you don't get a lot of visitors here?” I asked.

The woman continued tickling the spider's head and making strange crooning noises to it then said, “What makes you think that young man?”

“Just a guess.”

“We get tax collectors in Marshhaven but no matter where you live- death, town gossip and taxes will always be there.”

Ahri pulled a face as she pushed the spider away from her with the tip of her toe. “We need to sell a binding card,” she said. “Is there a card trader in this village?”

“No, no, no, young child. We don't get involved with magic of any form,” said the woman. “We are a proud Steamtech community. We pay our taxes of course but if the kingsmen found us with extra spell cards there would be hell to pay. If you want to sell cards I would suggest you try Delmsdeep village. It's a few days north of here.”

“We don't have any money to get there,” I said. “Are there any quests in town or odd jobs we could do to earn enough for the journey?”

“Well,” said the old woman. “I can always use a hand in the garden. I need a few trees pruned and I have a tray of seedlings that needs to be planted.”

---

Ahri POV

Madam Myrtle was a squat smiling old woman dressed all in pink and her house looked just like her. It was squarish and squattish and vines of pink roses grew up the walls. A hedge of pink butterfly delights, as the old woman called them, surrounded the yard.

Talasin was on his knees covered in dirt planting azalea seedlings with a big grin on his face.

Ahri’s job was pruning the cherry blossom trees. She’d volunteered for the job when she heard the word cherry but she’d been disappointed to find that there was no fruit on the tree.

“Talasin,” said Ahri. “Do all humans grin as much as you do when they have their hands covered in mud or are you just a freak?”

He scratched his nose and left a trail of mud across his cheek.

“I don't know,” he said. “I’ve just always loved planting things. I used to do it with… someone. I don't remember who but I get a warm feeling when I think about plants. I'm sure you're the same with...”

“Food?” said Ahri.

“Yeah, you get that same look of joy when you’re eating.”

“So I'm just supposed to cut the branches off, that's it?”

“Just the dead branches. Can you manage with those shears?”

Ahri snipped the air twice with the large garden shears.

“Yeah, yeah, snip, snip. It's easy enough but this is going to take all day. Are you sure we couldn't just rob the old woman and be done with it?”

Talasin glared at her and she smiled and said, “Just kidding. Nobody wants to see that old bag tied naked to the bed.”

---

Ahri didn't like manual labour it felt too much like slavery, not that she had ever been a slave but she was vehemently against anything remotely like it. She had an idea though, something to speed up the job. Whilst Talasin had his back to her she transformed her sleeves into blades.

She frowned when she remembered the noble men she’d used the same technique on and how their blood had covered her clothes. She felt sick just thinking about it.

She swung a massive blade and neatly chopped a dead branch off the nearest cherry tree.

This is easy.

She sliced through another branch and then growing in confidence she tried to cut two off at once and accidently cut through the trunk of the tree.

“Shit!”

“What's that?” asked Talasin,

“Nothing, just saw a beetle, hate those things.”

“Aha.”

She grabbed a few leaves and stuffed them into the thick gash in the side of the tree’s trunk.

Basically invisible.

She stepped back and saw that the tree was leaning over. It began to creak and then the damn thing fell right over.

Screw my life.

“Talasin. I'm done with my part. We should leave.”

“That was fast. You’re good at this. I still have a few more to plant and then we can buy something to eat. I'm starving. I haven't eaten in two days.”

“Yeah you might have to wait a bit longer.”

Talasin turned around and saw the tree chopped in half.

“Holy shitballs Ahri, what did you do?”

At that moment Madam Myrtle stepped out of the house with a tray of drinks and said, “Hellooo children, I brought you a refreshing drink to… By Teon’s left ball sack what did you do to my precious cherry blossom?”

---

Talasin was mad at Ahri, she was pissed at the old woman and the old woman kicked them out the yard without pay or juice.

She told them to try the Tinkerer and then she shut the door in their faces.

The Tinkerers tower was on the far side of town. Its roof was a glass dome and orange lamps hung from the ceiling like fireflies. Plants and vines grew in and among copper cogs and gears. A large steam powered clock sat on the wall above a glowing furnace and metallic constructs in various stages of being built were piled atop a messy workstation.

Ahri expected the Tinkerer to be an old man with a bushy beard and singed eyebrows. She was wrong. The Tinkerer was a young woman. She wore an apron and a pair of goggles on her head and had a nervous twitch.

The tinkerer wiped a hand on her apron and extended it to Talasin and Ahri and introduced herself. “The name is Tana Sol. What can I do for you good folk?”

A mantis-like metallic creature walked into the workshop. It regarded Ahri for a moment.

“You can go, Shifu,” said Tana Sol. “They are just visitors.”

The metal mantis rocked on its hindlegs and then left the room as silently as it had entered.

“She’s a bit overprotective.”

“What is that?” asked Ahri.

“It's an Iron Guardian- a prototype I'm working on. It's based on Master Grimwards Iron Walkers.”

Ahri and Talasin shook their heads.

“Master Grimward is the foremost expert on Steamtech,” said Tana. “Have you been living under a rock?”

“Something like that,” said Talasin.

Ahri, already bored of the conversation, meandered around the workshop picking up odd gadgets and inspecting them.

“Don't touch anything,” said Tana.

Ahri ignored her and picked up an iron moth with large owl-like eyes.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“It’s a Night Eye,” said Tana. “A discreet illumination construct.”

Ahri frowned.

“It sits in trees and rooftops and provides soft light,” said Tana.

“Like a street light?”

“Exactly.”

Ahri frowned and put down the moth and rummaged around the table.

“I've never seen these things before. What else can they do?”

“The large steel stag beetle I’ve called the Harvester,” said Tana. “It's a prototype of mine. Still a work in progress though. It's equipped with a net launcher on its back and it carries its victims in its pincers.”

Ahri opened up a draw.

“Don't look in there,” said Tana.

“What’s this?” asked Ahri.

Tana buried her face in her hands.

“Don't touch that, Ahri,” said Talasin

“How does it work?” asked Ahri. “Do you sit on it? Where does it go?”

“Ahri,” said Talasin. “Don't put it in your mouth.”

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Tana’s face had turned a deep crimson. She stormed across the workshop and snatched the long gadget out of Ahri’s hands.

Talasin pulled Ahri aside and held onto her then said, “So, Madam Myrtle mentioned you might have some work available.”

Tana Sol shifted uncomfortably.

“I'm always in need of cores. Do you folk have any experience in monster hunting?”

Talasin nodded.

“I need kobolds,” said Tana.

Ahri glared at Tana in confusion and said, “The furry rat things?”

“Yes. They are a plague on this village.”

“How much are you paying?” asked Talasin.

“A silver coin for each kobold caught and brought back alive.”

“Could we get one of those toys as a bonus?” asked Talasin. “Ahri would get some use out of it.”

Ahri nodded and Tana’s face turned red again.

---

Talasin POV

Tiny golden lights filled with magic energy swirled around my hands. I cleared my mind of any distractions and formed a mental picture of what I needed to create.

“Are those boobs?” asked Ahri.

“No.”

“You have powerful magic that could shape the world and you use it to sculpt nudes.”

“It's an eagle, Ahri. I'm practicing Mold Earth, this spell’s damn tricky.”

“An eagle with tits. You’re such a weirdo, Talasin.”

The Marshes were wet and muddy with loads of mosquitos. There was nothing pleasant about it, even the trees sagged and looked depressed.

“No wonder these kobolds are aggressive,” said Ahri. “If I lived out here I’d be pissed off all the time as well.”

“Let's just catch these things and get out of here,” I said.

“How are we meant to lure them out?” asked Ahri.

“Try singing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Tana said kobolds are attracted to music.”

“I'm not comfortable singing,” said Ahri.

“Don't worry nobody out here cares.”

Ahri hummed a tune and then she began to sing Happy Birthday in a faltering voice.

“Are you singing happy birthday?” I asked.

“It's the only song I know,” said Ahri. “I used to sing it when I portaled binding cards to people on their birthdays.”

“You have a good voice.”

“Really.”

“Sure, why not.”

“Should I keep singing?”

“I was just messing with you, Ahri.”

“Talasin, you asshole.”

---

Purple smoke wafted across the marshes and between the trees. I coughed as the acrid tasting smoke filled my lungs.

“Cover your mouth,” I said. “It's poisonous.”

Ahri transformed her shirt into a long polo neck and pulled it over her nose while I attempted to hold my breath. We waded through knee high water and the smoke grew denser the further in we got.

Through the haze I saw something the size of a cow sitting on a log with a pipe in its mouth.

“Well the hell is that?” I asked.

“Behemoth Toad,” said Ahri.

“How do you know?”

“Well it's either that or my grandma, she smoked a packet of tobacco a day.”

It was a toad and it was massive. All around it were wilted plants. The droopy eyed amphibian took another drag of its pipe and exhaled another purple cloud.

“It's getting high on nightshade,” I said.

A moth the size of a hawk flew through the haze. Its wings faltered and it landed on a wilted flower and twitched its feathery antennae.

The behemoth toad’s tongue stretched out lazily and caught the moth and rolled it back into its mouth. It crunched on the moth as it blinked its bloodshot eyes and watched us warily.

“That smoke must be a natural pesticide,” I said.

I pulled a binding card out of my spellbag.

“Please tell me you’re not going to bind a stoned toad,” said Ahri. “I've already got one slimy companion. I don't think I could handle another.”

I laughed and said, “Wouldn't you enjoy that extra long tongue?”

“Eww, you’re so gross.”

The toad swallowed the moth and took another puff on its pipe. As it exhaled the poison I tossed the binding card straight into the cloud of smoke. The card shimmered and burst into light and the smoke spun around the card like a purple tornado. The card flickered once and then it sucked in all the smoke and reappeared in my hand.

* Congratulations you have bound: Karf’s Poison Mist

The red eyed toad licked its thin lips and blinked at us.

“Stupid creatures too high to know what’s going on,” said Ahri.

Something blurred across my vision and Ahri yelped. The toad’s tongue stuck to her and then slowly drew back into its mouth.

Ahri kicked and screamed.

“Don't just stand there laughing at me! Do something!”

I drew Polyblade, cast it and ran at the toad as light flared in my hand.

* Cannibal's Boomerang

A boomerang is a frisbee for people with no friends.

I tossed the boomerang and watched it soar over the toads head. It arced high into the sky and got stuck in a tree.

I hate polyblade.

I should have listened to Ahri and just taken Flame Strike or something boring like that but that didn't help now. Ahri was gurgling something and kicked her legs as the toad prepared to swallow her whole.

I fumbled inside my spellbag. Mold Earth, Leap of Faith, Twilight Titan, Poison Mist, Mimic.

“Shit, I need new spells.”

I drew three cards and cast Mold Earth first and a spike shot out of the ground and pierced through the toad’s tongue. Its droopy eyes narrowed in panic as it struggled to dislodge its tongue.

“Hold on Ahri. I’ve got a plan.”

I ran at the toad and stuck my hand into its open mouth. It smelt like ass in there. I placed a card inside the mouth and green light shone as the spell took effect.

“Did you summon me inside of a giant’s asshole?” asked the Twilight Titan as it appeared inside the toad’s mouth. “Not that I'm complaining. I’ve just never been on this side of an asshole before.”

“It’s a giant toad,” I said.

“I don't know what kinky shit you are into, Talasin but toads are where I draw the line. Even my mother wouldn't put up with this shit and she was the village foot hooker.”

I drew the next spell card and made a mental note to ask Flint what a foot hooker was and then I cast the spell on Flint.

“Hold on buddy,” I said. “Things are about to get weird.”

The titan shimmered as blue light surrounded him.

The toad pulled its tongue loose and opened its mouth wide to swallow Ahri but as it did its eyes bulged and its body warped like a hand inside of a sock puppet. It croaked and then exploded from the inside out covering Ahri in a fountain of blood and guts.

Six Flints all covered in guts, stepped out of the toad’s remains.

“You duplicated us inside that thing,” said FLint. “Each time you summon me it leaves scars on my mind.”

Ahri rolled onto the wet ground. She stood up covered in blood, slime and bits of half eaten moth.

“Don't you dare say a word.”

---

Acquired Spell Card: Karf’s Poison Mist

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