Chapter 42: Chapter: 42 House Hunting

The arrests began early the following morning. Old man Thacker, a patron of the Crooked Cane Tavern where we were staying, was the first to be taken. He was charged with inciting a violent uprising and was dragged out of his house and beaten bloody in the street.

The next to be taken was Ned, the baker’s nine year old son. Ned’s father and a small crowd were forced to watch as he was whipped six times in the town square. 

The City Watch were using scare tactics hoping to draw out the masked man or for someone to turn him in. The tactic had the opposite effect. Cityfolk plotted against the ruling party in taverns and underground cellars. Ahri and I stayed away from politics, revolutions were bloody things and we had no interest in getting involved in one. 

I told Ahri that Gavriel was the masked man and she’d spent every free moment either looking for him or drinking. Her moods shifted between various stages of sorrowful tears which I didn't understand to manic excitement. 

I helped her in the search for Gavriel but the rest of the time I spent looking for a farm that we could buy. 

The farm had come to represent something bigger in my mind. It was a way for me to connect me to my old life. One of the clearest memories I’d jotted down in the journal Ahri had given me, was of my mother and I working in a veggie garden. The details were fuzzy but I clearly remember that day being the last truly happy one of my young life. 

I longed to recapture that simple time and those happy memories and hopefully to create new ones with Ahri and I hoped it would be enough to pull her out of whatever turmoil was eating her up.

---

The following day I found Ahri sitting at a wonky table with a mug of ale in her hand. 

“You smell like a barmaid's apron,” I said as I took a seat beside her.

She took a sip and wiped the foam from her mouth then asked me if I wanted a drink. 

Before I could answer she waved a hand at the barman. 

Moments later I was looking into a mug of something that smelt like a combination of pig sweat, sour milk and burnt hair. 

I forced a weak smile and dipped my tongue into the liquid. A numbing sensation coated the inside of my mouth like it was covered in wax.

“How can you drink this crap?” I asked.

Ahri took another sip and sighed. 

“The same way you eat a cow. One sip at a time.”

I frowned, pushed the mug away and looked around the inn to make sure nobody could overhear us. 

“Are you ready to start talking?” I asked.

There was no point in beating around the bush. I’d tried that for days and gotten nothing out of her. 

“What?” she asked.

“Something's clearly bothering you Ahri, it's about time you told me what it is so we can figure it out and move on.”

“What makes you think something is bothering me?” she asked in a slurred voice.

“Well for starters I'm pretty sure you're drinking fermented pig piss.”

She shrugged and swung around in her chair to face me.

“Do you want to go upstairs?” she asked in a husky voice that made her sound aroused. “If we have sex will that get you off my ass?”

“What? No- what the fuck Ahri.” 

I pushed the drink away and stood up.

“I'm going out to see a farm later,” I said. “Do you want to come with? The fresh air might do you some good.”

“Fresh air,” she said. She laughed, then sniffed and took a drink of her beer. “Go outside and see what your precious humans have done to each other.”

---

A cold breeze blew swirling flakes of ash past me and I shivered and pulled my coat closer around me. It was autumn and the morning’s were getting colder. 

I’d been in Umbra for over a month and I was beginning to miss the comforts of my old life. What I would give for a bed that I didn't have to share with cockroaches or a mug of coffee to start the day. Instead I sipped on warm spiced ale- which was the closest thing inn’s had to coffee

I headed down the hill towards the city gate. The farm I was going to view was an hour's walk south of Alhaven. I could have borrowed Ahri’s Karakal to make the trip quicker but I wasn't in a rush to get back to the inn. Ahri was a pain in the ass princess when she was sober but she became unbearable when she was drunk.

A shadow moved in the corner of my eye and I raised my head hoping to see Ahri. Instead my eyes rested on a corpse swinging from a rope under the great tree. It was not the only one, bodies hung from the tree like macabre fruits.

Ahri’s right human’s do the worst things to each other.

I pushed the image out of my mind and trudged on through the steady ash that clung to my feet. 

All around me were smoldering buildings and weeping people but I chose not to let that get to me. I greeted each person I saw, I dropped a few copper coins into a beggar’s hat and I even checked out a passing woman’s ass. Life could be shit if I kept my eyes on the dirty ground all the time, but when I raised my head and looked up it wasn't that bad. Yes, the trees were dead and the buildings were crumbling but the sky was still blue, the clouds were all fluffy and girls still wore tight fitting dresses.

By the time I reached the city gates I was smiling and whistling like an idiot. There was just something magical about women’s asses no matter what world you were in they had the power to put a smile on your face.

I walked the short distance to the plot of land with a young shepherd and her flock of sheep. Her name was Ginny, she had a cute freckled face and an infectious laugh. We spoke about simple things and laughed often and before I knew it we had reached the crossroads. 

The plot of land I was off to see was east and Ginny was heading west. So we said our farewells and I headed up the winding mud road to the top of the hill. 

The road came to an abrupt end in front of a rusty gate. The gate had a sign hanging from it and I could vaguely make out the word ‘Dungeon’ on it. The writing was upside down and faded and dented from years of people throwing stones at it. 

---

The owner was a middle aged woman named Gertrude. She had a warm smile and a lazy eye that kept straying to my crotch area.

“What was the name on the gate?” I asked as she showed me around the plot of land.

She mumbled something I didn't quite get.

“What was that?”

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“.... dungeon,” she muttered under her breath.

I figured it was rude to ask her to repeat it a third time so I smiled and nodded like an idiot.

Gertrude showed me the borehole on the corner of the property and the measly vegetable garden riddled with weeds. She also told me that the house was built with timber from Swindon. I think that was meant to impress me- I wasn't really sure- but I nodded and smiled. I was doing a lot of smiling and nodding but what else was I meant to do? I knew nothing about houses or farms. She could have told me that the place was made out of human shit and I would have been just as impressed.

“It's a real fixer upper,” she said with a warm smile. 

That was an overstatement. The house was a piece of shit but I could build another house. All I really needed was land and a ready source of water.

I looked around a final time and tried to imagine myself working in the garden and Ahri sitting on a swing probably eating something and hopefully smiling. 

I paid the woman for the house and she gave me two identical Home spell cards and then she said, “Now that the sale’s complete you should know that the place is haunted.”

Before I could change my mind on the property she climbed into her carriage, leaned out the window and shouted, “Like my pa used to say when he was too drunk to fall over. May the land rise up to greet ya.” 

And she was gone. Ahri was going to be so pissed.

---

Ahri POV

Talasin returned in such a sickeningly good mood that it sobered Ahri up instantly. She’d spent the whole morning getting to a level of drunkness where she didn't feel guilty anymore and just like that Talasin had sobered her up. She was so pissed off she could punch him.

Talasin with that stupid grin on his face, fished two rings out of his pocket and handed her one. She felt the heat rising in her cheeks and she spluttered, “Wh… wha.. what’s this for?”

“These are Home spells,” he said with a grin. “They turn into spell cards when activated but you can wear them as rings.”

Ahri felt her embarrassment being replaced by anger and this time she did punch Talasin. 

After she had calmed down enough and had two more glasses of ale she put the ring on her finger and held it up to the light.

“What do they do?” she asked.

Talasin slid his own ring on and said, “They act as house keys plus they can be activated once a day and they will take you straight to the farm no matter where you are in the world.”

Ahri touched her ring and as she did blue light flooded out of it and it became a card. She blinked at the card for a moment before the spell took effect. Her eyes widened and then she was gone.

---

Ahri appeared inside of a dilapidated house and moments later Talasin, whooping like a child on a sugar rush, materialized beside her. 

“That was bloody brilliant,” he said and he gave her a boyish grin that made her smile involuntarily.

“Please tell me you didn't spend all our gold coins on this?”

Talasin gave her a wounded look and said, “It's a fixer upper.”

“You can put makeup on a pig but it's still a pig.”

“It's a hidden treasure,” he said. “It just needs a bit of spit and polish, and maybe a pint of blood and it will be good as new.”

“You could polish this turd all you want,” said Ahri. “But it will never make it a diamond. All you’ll get is shit on your hands and you’ll still be left with a turd.”

He laughed and said, “It's meant to be haunted.”

 

Talasin’s damn cheerfulness was getting to her. She couldn't help but smile as she looked around the shitty house. 

She took a step into the kitchen and her foot went through the floorboards. “Really Talasin, it's ugly, creepy and falling apart. Was there a murder in the house as well or would that cost extra?”

She pulled her foot out of the hole and peered down through the floorboards.

“There’s something down there,” she said as she knelt down for a better look. “A secret room.” She felt a tingle of excitement run down her spine as thoughts of hidden treasure filled her mind.

After tearing up half of the floorboards to get down, Talasin found a trapdoor that opened up to a staircase that led down into the basement.

“It’s a dungeon,” he said and he cast Jade Fire and held the green flames in the palm of his hand to illuminate the room.

The green light reflected off of chains on the walls and a bed with straps on it. 

“What the hell is this place?” she asked as she picked up a floppy toy and swung it around.

“I wouldn't touch that,” said Talasin.

“What is it?”

“A sex toy.”

“Eww,” she screamed and tossed the toy away. It hit the wall with a wet thud and then fell down beside a wooden stockade with leather straps and a whip lying on top of it.

“Double eww,” said Ahri. “This place keeps getting worse.”

A low moaning sound rose inside the basement and Ahri bolted up the stairs.

“Ugly house, fine,” she shouted when Talasin had caught up. “Floors falling apart, sure I can live with that.” She turned on him. “But an underground sex dungeon with the ghost of a sex slave chained to the wall- that's where I draw the line. Either you get rid of this house or I'm leaving.”

---

[Level 10 - Progress towards next level: 11%]

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