Chapter 33: CH 32

A few days later, I reflected back.

‘I shouldn’t have let Marius go back then.’

I was reminded of the fact that the Duke of Sebrirua was a warrior.

Even if Marius usually surrendered to us as though she couldn’t fight back, there was no way someone like that could easily achieve the position of commander of the royal knights.

Kendrick was generally a civil servant, but he had joined the knights before and mastered a few martial arts.

I’ve lived in this family for so long, but I’m starting to wonder if I mistook the Sebrirua.

I couldn’t even manage to bring it up. They were nowhere to be found.

Obviously, we were living in the same mansion, yet not a single strand of their hair could be seen.

How great was their art of hiding skills that rivalled the skills of a criminal?

What should I do? There wasn’t even a chance to start the conversation.

After drinking some tea to calm my mind, I finally placed the teacup down with a clattering sound.

‘How many times has it already been?’

The will to start the serious conversation disappeared when Marie and Derick were absent during dinner for the third time.

No matter how busy they were, they were always on time for dinner. It was clear that they were avoiding me.

In the end, I decided to give up. I had no way to force them if they didn’t want to talk to me that much.

Instead, I decided to pass the task to a more carefree person.

2 o’clock in the greenhouse. Before the tea had cooled down, a golden head shook in the distance.

I didn’t need to get up to catch him, so I remained seated while waiting for him and Shuel approached me timidly.

“Hey, Rwen…”

“Sit down.”

Thud. Shuel quickly sat down on the chair in front of me.

When I saw him sitting obediently with his mouth closed, I brought up what I had repeated about a hundred times.

“Once again, I will decline your proposal. I apologise for the rumours that have spread among the servants, but I hope you can correct them. To Marie and Derick as well.”

Shuel nodded calmly at my words.

I sighed at his unusual glum face and poured tea into Shuel’s teacup.

Whatever his intentions were, it was true that I was troubled by Shuel’s proposal and it pressured me for the past few days.

I had felt troubled and upset, but seeing his lifeless self made me sympathetic instead.

“Rwen, why don’t you want to marry me?”

I paused with the teapot tilted. I looked at Shuel with a bewildered look.

“……What?”

“I don’t have a bad family or a bad personality. My appearance is also…not bad.”

Shuel folded his fingers as he stated them one by one. Then, he tilted his head.

“Don’t you think I’m pretty alright?”

I take back my pity.

“You’re that confident of yourself…?”

I was a little stunned.

What am I supposed to do with that confidence?

It wasn’t groundless that he has a good face and family but that’s blatantly showing off.

“What I mean is, I’m a pretty good groom. Rwen is also going to get married soon.”

When my expression turned grave, Shuel hurriedly waved his hand. Only then did I reluctantly listen to him.

I understood what Shuel was talking about.

Most nobles are married. They get married at an early age, start a family, have children and continue their lineage.

Pregnancy before marriage was rare, but finding a marriage partner remained important as it was one of the main reasons for going into society. 

In conclusion, this society considers marriage a necessity.

Shuel and I are of the right age for marriage.

And I can also guarantee that Shuel was the best groom that I, or any marriageable lady, can choose.

However, sometimes the same words may have a different meaning.

‘I don’t actually hate him so I can’t say anything.’

I smiled instead of answering. Then, I strode over to Shuel and slapped him on the back.

Pak!

“Ack!”

Shuel cried out and crouched in pain. It must have hurt a lot since I hit him pretty hard.

I stroked Shuel’s shoulder as he crouched in pain and spoke quietly with a playful tone.

“If I was going to take advantage of you, I would have manipulated and ripped you off when I was nine. Why would I marry you now?”

I don’t wish to know how shameless this guy saw me.

Yes, it’s a great thing for me if this marriage works out.

But what about Shuel?

A deal is only possible when both parties have something to gain. In this marriage, Shuel only has losses and no gains.

“Don’t force me to open my eyes to see you get married so poorly, Shuel.”

As I smiled lightly, Shuel’s face turned grim.

Realising I had revealed something I shouldn’t have, I quickly changed the subject.

“I don’t want to get married out of necessity. If possible, I want to live alone and if I do ever find someone to marry…”

I was going to say it line by line, but once again, the topic seems wrong.

I paused and remained silent for a moment.

Well. Will there be anyone I deserve to marry?

Those things were not that important to think about right now. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Anyway, I will pack and move out soon. Tell Marie and Derick that if they refuse to see me, I’ll send them a letter.”

In fact, I felt a little uncomfortable even though I said I would inform them. Did they really not want to see me at all?

Shuel remained looking at me with a complicated and serious expression.

But before Shuel could open his mouth, another familiar voice was heard.

“……Rwen.”

I paused at the familiar voice. When I turned around, Marie and Derick stood behind me.

I wasn’t in a situation where I could greet them happily and ask when they arrived. Because their faces were frozen like people who had been slapped in the back of their heads.

A frightening heavy silence passed, and with a pale face, Derick managed to open his mouth.

“Wait, let’s talk first.”

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Inside Derick’s parlour, it was incredibly cold. No one could speak first.

I couldn’t even shift my eyes in that awkward and cold atmosphere.

When I met Marie and Derick, I was going to pretend to be a little angry and get an apology.

It would get a little serious when we talk about important things, but I thought it wouldn’t last long and everything would eventually return to normal.

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So I had never guessed that Derick and Marie would make such a fierce and complicated expression.

I wasn’t sure why so I tried observing first.

I was talking to Shuel and didn’t realise they had entered the greenhouse.

Was it because they heard our conversation?

I didn’t say anything special……

“First of all, I’m sorry for avoiding you all this time.”

Derick was the first to open his mouth.

“I couldn’t find the words to answer you. Even so, I admit that it was an immature move. I’m sorry, Rwen.”

“No, it’s alright…”

Even though I received a formal apology, it was hard to accept.

Derick sighed in response. To me, the small sigh felt colder than the winter winds.

“When I went to visit you after hearing that you and Shuel were in the greenhouse, I accidentally overheard your conversation.”

I nodded my head. Then, Derick’s voice, who had been trying so hard to stay calm, trembled.

“Why are you…”

He continued with a face that was in between anger and on the verge of crying.

“Are you saying you are inferior to Shuel?”

At those words, I became speechless.

It was as though the words I had uttered without realising came back and became stuck in my throat.

“That……”

I merely laughed awkwardly. It was a subject I didn’t wish to talk about.

“It’s just that.”

Derick became silent at my strong attitude, which was clearly avoiding answering.

“Darling, is it because…”

After a long pause, Derick managed to open his mouth. The words that followed were completely unexpected. 

“You don’t like us?”

At my wide-eyed expression, Derick continued.

“Because you didn’t have a place to go at the time, so you just stayed, but the truth is…”

After a moment of hesitation, Derick bit his lips. He uttered the last words painfully.

“You hated being with us?”

“No!”

I shouted without hesitation. That was something I was sure about.

“No, I really don’t. That’s impossible!”

Everything that happened in the duke’s mansion was incredibly dazzling in my life that was beyond my imagination.

How could I possibly hate all that?

Derick and Marie’s faces slightly brightened at my prompt reply.

“Then what is the problem?”

I didn’t know how to answer the question, so I shook my head.

“We were really surprised when we heard you say that.”

Derick continued his explanation with a slightly calmer expression.

“Maybe we had unconsciously discriminated against you. That’s why you thought of leaving the duke’s residence because you didn’t like us?”

I shook my head at those gentle words.

Derick was observant, but this time he was wrong.

The reason he spoke was more realistic and mindful.

“Rwen, why are you leaving the duchy? And so hastily at that.”

Derick asked warmly, but it was a question that was directly related to the subject I didn’t want to talk about.

I couldn’t answer the question right away, so I kept my mouth shut.

Everyone in the Sebrirua Duchy was kind to me, and I loved them.

This, however, was a different story.

To be more precise, even if I loved all of them, I couldn’t change them.

“It’s just…”

I really didn’t want to talk about it.

But I didn’t want Derick to misunderstand that I hated them.

“I…”

Biting my lips, I eventually spit out the words that filled my throat.

“I had stayed for too long.”

The words I uttered seemed to suffocate me.

I took a deep breath. Thoughts flooded as if the door of a filled warehouse had opened.

The beautiful, peaceful, lovely Duchy of Sebrirua.

Truthfully speaking, I wasn’t entirely happy there.

Because I couldn’t completely blend in.

Marie and Derick, the Duke and Duchess, treated me very well and I grew up with good memories because of that.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful for that.

But at the same time, I knew.

Having goodwill wasn’t hard, just as I had saved Shuel due to being unable to overcome the guilt. 

To send back or keep the little girl, who doesn’t make any trouble.

They, who were not evil, would naturally choose to save me.

No, it would have been anyone, not just them. No one would want to be a villain without profit.

The money required to raise a child wouldn’t hurt them in the slightest.

It wasn’t as if I had made trouble or had an accident that was difficult to deal with.

Their children were Shuel and Rieta.

Shuel was kidnapped and only received affectionate scolding despite the astronomical amount of money spent to find him, and Rieta was adopted even at the risk of others pointing fingers for adopting a commoner child.

Shuel was right. He had a rich and noble family, a kind personality and a beautiful appearance. However, because he was perfect, I couldn’t be tied up with Shuel.

I didn’t possess those, so of course, I was a candidate that was inferior.

The reason for leaving the duchy was the same.

This place was warm to me and I loved it, but it wasn’t my home.

It wasn’t that it was impossible to get adopted and live happily ever after.

Because Rieta had also become a family member who had no blood relation and completely blended in with them.

However, I knew from experience that it didn’t work in my world.

I forcefully pulled up the corners of my mouth that were about to fall.

I knew that it wouldn’t look good, but it was better than frowning.

“I’m just someone who was going to stay for a while.”

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