Chapter 17: Chapter 17

That reminded me: what on Earth was that about in the morning? Why was she acting so weird? I had to gather my courage and actually go after her and apologize in person - that is the only way to clear things up. This is how I explained it all to myself in the moment.
I wasn't looking forward to visiting the place. Part of Suzanne's apartment was remodeled to serve as an office, and for me it always brought to mind the times she's lambasted me there, like that one time I lost my keys and had to pick up a backup pair.

There was no reply when I knocked on the door. I figured she must have been pissed at me. I wondered how much rage she would pour on me once I got in. "No", I thought, "this is a bad idea. Just send her an apologetic e-mail".
I stood there, staring at the door for a good couple of minutes, forehead becoming sweaty. I was frankly embarrassed by my own indecisiveness. And just as I was getting irritated at myself, I felt that same impulse, the urge to actually walk in, pull my hand towards the doorknob.
"Go on, get in there," I heard the all-too-familiar, seductive voice whispering in my ear. I turned to sides to check nobody was around.
"Why are you egging me on?" I whispered. Ra'zizi's voice only chuckled in a girly manner. "You're such a scaredy-cat! It's just an office..."
I needed to take a breath before pushing on the door.

The entrance room was empty. I saw only one coat on the coat hanger, and I instantly recognized the off-white, chic, wide-sleeved piece Suzanne would wear whenever she headed out somewhere. The "reception" area had the familiar faux wooden desk with her laptop on it, lid shut. Office chairs on the opposite end, near the wall, a minimalist clock above. I took a closer step, and then another one, carefully, scanning the area around, as if something were to jump at me.
But the whole place was completely silent. Was she even here? Did she forget to lock the door?

I was just about to head out, feeling like I had trespassed, but as I was turning, I heard a shuffling noise. A low rumble and a squeak, it was coming from somewhere further inside the apartment. My heart skipped a beat. I made a few steps forward to judge where the sound was emanating from. After walking past the reception desk, I realized it must have been coming from the door right besides, which was the door in front of me.
I was now strangely intrigued. Taking one step ahead, I realized the door was actually left slightly open. She must have been in there, in the part of the flat I've never really seen. I needed to confront her, I thought, and I needed to apologize.
"That's right, big boy..." Ra'zizi piped up. "You're not gonna chicken out now, are you?"
I reached out to the door to knock, but Ra'zizi pushed my hand down to the doorknob and I felt as my body froze up. A small sigh came from the other side. My hand started trembling.
"Go on, don't be scared..." she kept on egging me.
Finally, having built up the courage, I touched the doorknob, ever so slightly. Even though my hand trembled from anxiety, the door didn't budge.
"Need a hand?" Ra'zizi said, and I felt her blowing air, first at, then pass my ear.
Just as the gust of air she made moved off of my face, it started opening the door. Startled, I couldn't help but stare as it slowly swung inwards, without making any sound, the gust of demonic breath pushing it open.

I stood still, eyes wide open, definitely not ready for what I saw. As the door opened wide enough for me to see inside, I noticed that the room was dark. It must have been a bedroom of sorts. There was a smaller computer desk lined up against the wall. On it was a two-monitor set up, hooked up to some desktop computer. Suzanne was there too, sitting in a swiveling computer chair in front.
It first took my eyes a moment to get adapted to the darkness enough to discern shapes, and then a little while longer for my brain to comprehend what I was seeing. The brightest light in the room, the monitor which was only partially facing me, had something that looked like a photograph of a person on it. There were also some e-mails and scanned documents opened. However, my eyes didn't stay long enough on them to discern anything, as I became immediately aware of Suzanne's figure itself.
It took me a moment to realize, but she actually had taken her skirt partially off. In the darkness, I could discern she pulled it down to her knees, which were, as I realized, up almost on the level of her head. She was sitting in a bizarre, crouched pose, swiveling on the chair, causing it to squeak and...
She tilted her head back and I almost jumped. The fact that I was witnessing something I shouldn't have been just occurred to me.

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She didn't seem to realize I was watching, and I couldn't help but look. Her right hand was lodged somewhere in between her legs, twisting and turning in the darkness. She whipped her head back down as her forearm started moving faster, and I noticed a grimace on her face. If there was any doubt about what was going on, a slight, shuddering moan gave it away.
"Lucky you," I heard Ra'zizi talk and became even more spooked. I had to remind myself nobody else could hear her. "You get a private show from that strict landlady..."
I had to get out of there. Whatever urge I had to stay was utter foolishness. Yet, my feet felt like they had anchors attached to them.
Suzanne's breathing grew louder, then I heard her muttering.
"Yes, like that... You piece of garbage..." she moaned again and twitched. "You like that? Lick it up, loser... You're..." she gave out a small yelp and her legs swayed, "you're never going to amount to anything... Can't even keep the place... You're... Ah!"
I almost staggered when she exclaimed. Barely managing to regain my footing without alerting her, I heard Ra'zizi chime in again.
"Oh my, who would have known? The stuck up blondie with her note pad and clicky pen is such a dirty girl...", she said mockingly and giggled.
"You... You pathetic... Animal, ah! Give it to me!" she continued, now swaying side to side every now and then, making the chair creak.
"Woah! And I think she's into someone... Who could it be?" Ra'zizi continued.
The insults sounded too familiar. That's when I looked back at the screen. One of the pictures was definitely me, it was from my passport. There was another that I just remembered I posted on my social media, more than a year ago. I also noticed used up, crumpled tissue papers lying around on the floor. Ra'zizi was one thing, but witnessing an actual human in this state made my legs feel shaky.
Watching my strict landlady rub herself off to fantasies about me was too much. I wasn't one to judge, not when knowing the type of stuff I got off to. But I knew I had to get out of there. In a panic, I decided I would back off as quietly as possible and leave the door as it was. I reached for the door knob and started pulling it towards me.
Making careful steps back, I tried enduring Ra'zizi's constant mockery and her urging me to join in. Bit by bit, I shuffled back, taking care to not make a sound.
"Jeez, you're such a bore!", Ra'zizi complained. "Don't bump into anything..."
As I was about half way to closing the door, Suzanne really started going at it. She was now rocking back and forth, and her muttering grew to be as loud as a regular conversation.
"Yeah... You filthy, pathetic... Awwwhh!", her body started trembling as I noticed she put the fingers of her left hand in her mouth. Speaking in a slurred manner and panting, she continued, "God, you're so fucking disgusting, I can't believe you're doing th... Ahh!!! Yes!!!"
Seeing her twist and turn got me too distracted. I felt the door bump into my left foot and I gasped out of fear it made a noise. It was the gasp, however, that caused Suzanne to stop writhing. Her head turned to face me and her eyes opened, first slightly, then wide.

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