I don't know how much time had passed since our eyes met, but it felt like eternity. There was no sound besides the whirring of the computer fans, but only I could hear Ra'zizi snorting from trying to hold back laughter. Suzanne and I both had our mouths open. Her facial expression was changing so fast, first into fear, and then into pure, unbridled rage, that I struggled to anticipate what she was about to do. I wanted to say something, but all intellect escaped me.
She screamed. It wasn't anything coherent, or maybe she was too angry for it to sound like words. With her wide-open eyes, getting up face me, and at the same time trying to hide her private parts from me, in the stark light of the monitor, she seemed like a shrieking banshee. A wave of cold passed over my back.
I didn't bother to close the door, or look back. I almost leapt past the reception and out of the apartment. I had no plan, I just wanted to run as fast as possible.
I had to make it to my apartment, I had to hide. I didn't know if she was running after me and didn't bother to check.
Before I managed to make it, however, a door I passed so often started opening to my right. It was Izzie, coming out of her apartment, in her track suit, ready for another run. She swung the door out so much, I had to slow down or I would have slammed into her.
"Oh, hey!" she acknowledged me.
I barely managed to stop.
"What's wrong, Matt? You look like you've seen a ghost," she said and smiled.
"I'm sorry, Izzie, I can't explain now," I said, still very much panicking.
"What? Are you running? What's going on?" she looked puzzled.
As she was in my way, I tried, as gently as possible to move her aside, putting my hand on her shoulder. Only after I touched her bare skin did I realize how soft it felt, and also how a strange sensation ran through my fingers, as if a pulse of warmth traversing my sking and going into hers. It felt utterly strange.
Even stranger was the look on Izzie's face. At first slightly surprised at being touched, it seemed like her eyes started staring off into the distance for a moment.
"Sorry, I really can't talk right now!" I said and started moving past her.
Then, I felt something touch my arm. It was Izzie's hand. As I was passing her, her palm slid across my arm and forearm, and finally she took my hand, for a brief instant. I didn't stop, however, and slipped out of her grasp.
"This one seems into you too...", Ra'zizi mocked me as I rushed into my apartment, locked the door, then rushed into the bathroom.
Once inside, I stood, back against the door, heaving and huffing, sliding to the floor. I sat there, on the cold tiles and covered in sweat, and all I wanted to do was to hide. I felt a massive headache, and clutched my head, swaying back and forth, then groaned. The feeling of grief and guilt weighed me down, making it feel like a boat anchor was attached to my neck.
My breathing grew more erratic. I was hyperventilating and tearing up. There was no undoing what just happened, and I felt like there was no ladder tall enough to get myself out of this hole. There was no apology that could ever fix this. In my imagination, I could only see myself being thrown out, and for once I felt like it was only right. How could I be this stupid?
"That was so hot though, wasn't it?" I felt Ra'zizi touch my shoulder. Her voice was once again close to me, and when I momentarily opened my eyes, I saw her sitting on the floor next to me. "This prim, sassy office lady, just going at it... What a sight to see, hmm?"
"Shut up," I said. I was at my breaking point.
"I know it excited you..."
I sat in silence, hoping it was a hallucination - that it wouldn't come back, but sure enough it did.
"If only I knew who it was, I could tell you, but...", Ra'zizi continued mocking me.
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I tried composing myself as best as I could. On the way off the floor, trying to push her off of me, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I looked disheveled. Having hastily fixed my hair, I started nervously approaching the door. About three steps away, I heard the knocking for the third time. I knew I would faint if I saw Suzanne.My day at work was uneventful, save for a text from Izzie and another talk with my boss, with the threat of being fired of course. On my way back, sitting in the metro, I didn't have anything to do, so I just idly eyed my phone. Just then, I got a text from Izzie thanking me for my number. I opened the conversation and replied with "you're welcome". The "typing" indicator next to her name would come up a few times, then disappear. I watched it come and go as I got off at my stop, then passed one crossing, then another. Finally, I broke the silence.
"Are you free on the weekend?" I typed out and, before the nerves could get to me, pressed send.
I heard Ra'zizi giggle as I anxiously eyed the screen. After what felt like a long wait came the response from her.
"Yes."
My thumb trembled as I typed in, "Do you wanna hang out?"
"Sure!" she responded.
I felt elated. Like there was an extra spring in my step, I continued home, in disbelief at my luck. The notion of demons was at the back of my mind, but I tried my hardest to suppress thinking about them.
It wasn't until I was back at the staircase, trying to slip into my apartment that dread set back in as I froze when turning the corner.
I stood right in front of Suzanne, who seemed equally surprised to see me, as she was walking down the stairs. She looked at me sternly, and I felt I just wanted a meteorite or at least a bolt of lightning strike me.
Looking down, I tried casting my eyes up, and, seeing her stand with arms akimbo, I started stuttering,
"I-I'-I'm sorry..."
"You. Did not. See. Anything," she replied, sounding like she was clenching her jaw. Every word was measured out with perfect enunciation. "No-thing."
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