Chapter 102 - Jealousy

Cladis’s expression quickly became bleak because of Ella’s abrupt question. Actually, since last night that very question had haunted him. ‘Why did I treat Clara like that?’

What Clara had shown him at the Magical Tower left him with so many thoughts. He knew she was dangerous from the moment she glared at Ella, passed out, but then turned out to be perfectly fine. Her shroud of “the good person who listens to my story” immediately crumbled down.

After pulling off the shroud, Cladis tried to retrace his memories, but memories related to Clara were strangely murky, and he couldn’t remember them clearly. Even the ones from a few days ago, five months ago, and when he first met her were all foggy.

‘Is this normal?’

After returning to the palace, Cladis called Narwin to bring a report regarding his activities at the Academy if it was available. If there was something strange about his memories, he wanted to see a record that was made through another person’s eyes. An uncomfortable hunch overwhelmed him. And that hunch was correct.

Last night, Cladis, who had happily returned after Ella had given him another chance, read through the report Narwin had brought to him. After reading it, he was astonished by its contents. Thanks to Narwin, who quickly brought the report about him and one on Clara, he was able to reflect on his actions in a subjective manner and came to one conclusion.

“I think there’s a part of me on the inside that’s missing ever since I met her. I made decisions and did things that weren’t like me.”

“You insist that you weren’t, but maybe you were in love. Love isn’t always about the physical temptation.”

“Ella!” cried Cladis as he became startled by Ella’s bold words and blushed. Then, he became sad at the realization that Ella, who said such words without any problem, had feelings that differed from his. He covered his sadness and shook his head with a solemn look on his face. Then he moved to look directly into her eyes and said, “Ella, if I had to describe my dull feelings toward her as love, how could I ever describe my feelings for you?”

 

“Obsession? Possessiveness?”

“I know the difference between obsession and love.”

“How?” retorted Ella.

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“If I were obsessed, I would’ve been in front of His Majesty instead of you. Don’t you think so?”

Because Cladis looked straight into Ella’s eyes without any hesitation, Ella had to nod. He was right if his feelings for her were an obsession. She knew how hard he was trying to win her heart.

“And you can’t conclude what kind of feelings you had for Clara?”

“It’s more like I can’t understand them myself. Even after going over the report multiple times, I can’t understand why I did what I did to her. Maybe I knew but let her be.”

“Maybe it was because of your colleagues’ gossip.”

Cladis made a kind smile as Ella had pointed that out. It was as if he was thanking her and was treating her like an innocent and kind woman. As she was about to feel touched by this, Cladis’s expression changed. It was a bit of a cynical smile that appeared on his face. Even without asking, Ella knew it was a smile that was being critical of himself. Because of that, she was silent and just looked at him.

“That’s the part that I don’t understand the most.”

 

“Pardon?” asked Ella.

“I thought that was the case even when I read the report. But then I realized that was nonsense.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s precisely what I said. The explanation for this that seemed plausible just a few minutes ago suddenly doesn’t make sense at all.”

Cladis looked at Ella with the most confident and intellectual eyes she had ever seen from him until now. ‘What’s with this change?’ she wondered as she felt strange from that look on his face.

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