Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Never Leave- Part 1

[author: Here's yet another nonsense chapter for you~]

...................

 

After Haruki dropped that sudden bombshell, the room fell into a long silence.

End what? With who?

And Kentaro only worsened the discomfort with the strange way he was staring at him.

Scratching his temple awkwardly, Haruki went on, "I've just realized how much I've been of a burden to you. I forced this friendship onto you and started meddling in your life. I even suggested my school to you, even though I knew it wouldn't blend with you all that well. It was my mistake, ha, ha..."

"Why are you saying that?" Kentaro was still in his state of shock.

Haruki felt a little confused, "It's true, isn't it? Even I know that."

"What the hell do you know about my thoughts?!"

Eh? Now why is he so mad? I thought he'd be a lot happier.

Ginger lowered his head and clenched his hands at his sides before telling him in an  almost inaudible voice, "Fine, do whatever you want. I don't care."

Haruki noticed this new displeased reaction and released an exhausted sigh, "I really don't understand what you're so pissed about. I mean, it's not like I was ever a true friend to you..." he reacted in time and dodged a pillow which had been suddenly hauled in his direction, a little stumped. "What's with you all of a sudden?"

But Kentaro didn't say anything. He yanked at his other pillow and tossed it furiously at Haruki, ignoring him completely.

"Hey, just wait a second! Why are you so mad?" Haruki waved his hands in surrender.

Ken moved on to Haru's bag, which had been stuffed with his school uniform, and hauled it at him again. However, Haru easily caught it stared helplessly at the kid.

"What? Aren't you leaving?!" Kentaro refused to look at him as he snapped, "You seemed so eager to do so!"

"I never said I was going leave 'right now'—"

"So yeah, I lied a couple of times and kept a few secrets. But that was enough for you to give up on me completely, huh?"

"What the?" anger also welled up in Haruki, "Weren't you the one who suggested we break our friendship first? Weren't you the one who kept seeing me as a nuisance whenever I tried to help you out?!"

"So you don't even want to stay friends with me just because I said a few mean words? Something as trivial as that? You're such a brat!"

"Well, look who's talking! NONE OF THAT IS TRIVIAL TO ME, KENTARO!!" he'd finally reached his breaking point and yelled.

Ginger's words stuck in his throat.

"It might have seemed unimportant to you ignoring me and giving me the cold shoulder, but it wasn't for me, alright? I'm the one who suffered the blow of being unneeded. Ever since I came to live here, it'd been difficult for me to really open up because I didn't think it was all that necessary for me to do so. After all, friends would always come and go, right?" Haruki's voice calmed as his nerves slowly settled.

Kentaro opened his mouth as if to speak but nothing came out. His gaze dropped again in shame.

"But then, after Ayame left, I finally realized just how lonely I was. I also discovered just how hard it was to make real friends who'd stay by my side for a long time. Then you came along," a small smile formed on Haruki's face, "At the start of it all, I thought I'd eventually get used to how much you shut me out. No, I was willing to get used to it, since at the time I was just grateful to have a friend. Summer vacation was the only time I felt genuinely happy when we were together, because I thought you felt the same way."

I was happy, Ken clenched his teeth, and I still am.

Haruki shrugged helplessly with a tiny laugh, his gaze focusing on the bag he was still holding, "Now that I've said it out loud, it sounds a little corny. Still, I can't find right words to describe the feeling."

"You said that's how you felt during the vacation," Ginger finally spoke, though his tone had become a little uneven. He breathed, trying to calm his racing heart, "What about now?"

"Now?" Haruki struggled to find the words, "I wish you'd been more open with me. I didn't necessarily have to know about your background since that's none of my business, but school issues? It hurts knowing you think I'm that unreliable..."

"It's nothing like that."

"What else am I supposed to think?"

"I only did it because I didn't want to see that 'other' side of you, not because I didn't care," but as soon as those words left his mouth, he regretted saying them.

Haruki slowly nodded to himself, "I see, so I was right. I've known how much you've been afraid, Ken, ever since that first day. You just wouldn't say it."

This isn't getting any better, Kentaro thought as he panicked inwardly. Why would I say that?

The other person shrugged, "I'm sorry, but it's a part of me I don't regret having. I also don't regret beating those guys up, but you don't have to worry about it anymore. After this is over you won't have to endure any more of my nosiness. I won't meddle anymore in your life."

Kentaro's heart stung as well as his eyes. He gripped his bed cover, trying to hide how much his hands were trembling. However, the words which left his lips were:

"Tch, fine. I don't care."

Haruki, "......"

"Just go ahead and leave right now. You don't even have to wait till I heal; I can take care of myself. Just get out of my life already!"

That wasn't true. Kentaro didn't want him to leave.

But those words were never said, and Haruki was forced to think otherwise.

He properly slung his bag over his shoulder and turned to leave, telling Ginger in an almost inaudible tone, "I can't right now, sorry. I don't want to be more of a bad guy, leaving you to fend for yourself in that helpless state. Part of it was my fault after all."

"You... you think I'd be grateful for that?!"

"Not at all," he glanced over his shoulder, "We might have just ended our friendship, but I won't forget that you took care of me once. It's only right that I return the favor, even if you don't like it. Just bear with me for a while."

And with that, he left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Kentaro stared after him for a while, feeling as if someone had mercilessly stabbed through his heart.

This had to be some kind of horrible nightmare.

He'd wholeheartedly hoped that Haruki would always be that person and never leave his side.

And now this had happened.

Haruki's really going to leave me.

None of what I said was true. But why couldn't I just say it. Why did I have to be so mean?

"Face it Kentaro, you're never going to get close to anyone."

He's heart almost stopped when he suddenly remembered those words, but it wasn't because Haruki had been the one to tell him that before.

No, it had been someone else completely. Someone back home in Asahikawa. That damned family he'd kept running away from ever since he was little.

"Your mother's already sick, so in no time she'll be gone. She'll leave you all alone."

"You'll be completely on your own, unloved and unwanted."

His hands flew to his head as he felt fresh tears start to pour unceasingly out of his eyes and down his reddened cheeks.

"That's not true..."

"You really think a normal person can handle your stubborn character. You were meant to be alone."

"Shut up!"

"You're so horrible that even your only friend left you."

Kentaro's eyes widened.

That hadn't been a memory from the past. Did he feel so much self-regret that he was starting to hear voices?

"Back to being alone again."

"I'm back to being alone again?" he stared blankly at the floor.

You should have long since gotten used to it by now, he told himself, his chest feeling stuffy.

Haruki really.... left.

He slowly glanced up and stared blankly into space, envisioning the entire scene that'd taken place just a few minutes ago. How Haruki had really walked out that door after breaking them up.

"Don't go," he muttered and covered his face with both hands before he began to sob more audibly, "Haru, don't leave me."

..

After shutting the door behind him and leaning lightly against it, Haruki exhaled deeply. After what'd just happened, he'd thought for sure that he'd break down in front of Kentaro.

I only said it to see his reaction and see if he cared but... he smiled bitterly.

I was wrong again. He really doesn't give a damn.

And seeing that with his own eyes had only hurt him even more.

"I should start preparing his dinner, even though there's a chance he won't even eat it," he just taken a step forward when he heard a small voice coming from the room he'd just left, which made him pause in his step.

Haruki thought in disbelief, is he already cussing me out???

He'd already had mixed feelings but all those vanished when he heard the words:

"I'm back to being alone again."

Haruki subconsciously pressed an ear against the door to listen, his heart beating faster for some reason.

It couldn't be. Is he regretting?

There was silence for a while before a finally heard clearly: "Don't go. Haru, don't leave me."

His heart skipped, and before he knew it he'd already reopened the door wide and given Ginger a bewildered stare.

The boy lifted his head to see the intruder, his face flushed and tears running wildly down his cheeks. His eyes had already gone puffy even after a short while crying, and that only made Haruki's chest ache.

"Ginger."

As if he believed he was having a few hallucinations, Ken stared dazedly at the other person, "H-Haru?"

Haruki let his bag fall and immediately went to crouch down in front of the kid, noticing how detached he was, "Hey, I'm right here I never left. What are you thinking about?"

Ginger's eyes widened a little, a small light returning in his eyes, "Haruki..."

"En, I'm right here," he gave him sweet smile.

Fresh tears started to pour from Kentaro's eyes as he slid from the bed and knelt in front of the other person, completely ignoring the pain from his ankle, "It hurts."

"Of course it would, with you suddenly kneeling like that before it even has a chance to heal."

"Don't go, Haru. Pease don't leave..."

Haruki was baffled, "W-what?"

"I don't want you to go. I didn't mean it," Ken sniffed, his sobs becoming even louder, "I was wrong."

EHHHHH??

"You were wrong," Haruki repeated, finding it very hard to believe that the kid was really saying this.

He nodded eagerly, attempting to wipe away his never-ending tear stream, "Sniff, I was wrong. I was wrong."

Haruki suppressed the urge to smile, though his dimple would always give him away. I didn't think I'd ever get to hear that from him. I almost feel sorry for him right now, so pitiful. But how about I tease him a little, give him a taste of his own medicine.

And so Haruki remained silent and avoided the kid's gaze.

Kentaro immediately panicked and gripped at the guy's shoulders with a slight shake, "Hey, say something. Don't ignore me."

"Not interested."

"What...?"

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"That's right," Haruki lightly slapped away Ken's hands and stared at him with an indifferent look, "You've got to learn that life isn't fair and you won't always get what you want. You'll even lose some things."

Kentaro stared guiltily on the floor and nodded slowly, "I understand that, but I... don't want to lose you..."

So fast! Haruki was surprised. Even more so when Kentaro suddenly gave him a low apologetic and sincere bow.

"I'm sorry for everything; for shutting you out, for always insulting you, and being bratty. I really am."

What kind of miracle is this?

"I thought, sniff, it'd be easier to move on, sniff, if you ever got sick of me. And, and... it didn't feel right for me to throw all my burdens onto you. I'm sorry..."

Haruki started to feel really bad.

"Ginger, listen—"

"But I don't care anymore, I want to change all that," he rose again, giving Haru a determined look full of hope with his snort-filled nose and tear-filled puffy eyes, "I want to be more free and tell you everything. I won't hide secrets anymore, I swear! I'll tell you my entire background, the real truth behind everything that's happened, and I won't even leave out a single detail."

"Uh, I'm not so sure about that..."

"I'll, I'll even tell you how my mom used to bathe me when I was little—"

"Oh-Kay, I think I've heard enough," Haruki ran a hand down his face, feeling a little embarrassed, "Some things aren't necessary, honestly. You don't have to feel obliged to tell me anything at all."

"But I want to!" Kentaro all but yelled before looking away half-flustered because of his sudden outburst, "I really want you to now."

Haruki blinked then smiled and ruffled the kid's hair, "Alright then, Ginger. You'll tell me everything."

Kentaro didn't know what else to do while being patted on the head like that, so he just sat still and well-behaved. His mother was the one who usually did this sort of thing before, and now Haruki was slowly beginning to make this a habit of his.

It felt nice and comforting in its own special way.

"Haru."

"Hmm?"

"Does this mean... that you're not breaking up with me?" he asked.

Haruki chocked on air and broke into a mad coughing fit. Why does he have to phrase it like that? This kid... His attention was grabbed again when the little head of ginger fur he was patting raised to look up at him, its big grey crystals still very hopeful.

"Does it?"

He cleared his throat and avoided the gaze, "Yeah, yeah, don't make a face like that. I'm not used to it, okay? And no more crying."

Kentaro sniffed but nodded obediently, too scared that Haruki would just change his mind again.

"Haru?"

"Hmm?"

The younger kid turned away his gaze when he met Haru's eyes, suddenly feeling overly embarrassed.

"Can I?" the kid's face turned a darker shade of pink.

"Can you what? What is it?" Haruki asked but the kid wouldn't say a thing. He flicked his forehead warningly and reprimanded, "Hey, don't just start something and stop mid-sentence! What do you want to say?"

Kentaro rubbed his sore forehead as his eyes travelled back to Haru's.... only to immediately looking away again. He finally spoke, this time with a bit of movement with his arms, "C-Can I?"

Still, the full request wouldn't leave his mouth.

However, Haruki had already understood the meaning behind Kentaro's actions.

The kid just needed a hug.

"W-why would you even ask permission for something so stupid?" he asked but still opened his arms wide for him, looking away still a little surprised and embarrassed, "Whatever, just don't..."

He hadn't even finished his statement when the kid literally flew into his arms, knocked him backwards, and made them both tumble and fall.

What the heck! Have you never been hugged before, you brat??

Haruki had been just about to seethe when he noticed how Ginger had already settled himself in his arms and buried his head in his chest, still slightly trembling. He could tell by the muffled noises and sniffs that the kid was crying again.

With a helplessly sigh, he let him be and used a hand to smooth down his hair repeatedly.

What kind of situation is this, honestly?

"Hey, didn't I just say no more crying?" he warned, but his tone still gentle and a little embarrassed.

"I'm sorry."

Now he's in constant apology, "Quit it, you don't sound sincere at all. Who are you even apologizing to?"

"I'm sorry, Haru."

"Jeez, at least let me change out of this filthy uniform."

Kentaro shook his head.

Good grief, Haruki powerlessly thought. So weird.

***

Maki Fukuda almost choked on her coffee the following morning when Haruki related the previous day's events; the reason why he'd skipped his afternoon clubs.

Yesterday evening, her son's club instructors had called to ask why he'd been scurrying off in a hurry or bunking his after-school meetings lately, which was why Maki had brought this matter up during breakfast. But after listening to the truth of the matter, she couldn't help but feel a bit stunned, especially since Haruki hadn't sounded apologetic in the least when he explained.

Akashi hadn't come down for their early breakfast as the mother and son duo conversed, so by the time he did join them, Maki had been the one to tell him this time.

"You're getting involved in fights again, Haruki?" Akashi arched a disappointed brow as he said this, even pausing with his mug to his mouth before he drank the coffee within, "Wasn't that supposed to end in grade school?"

Haruki hadn't responded when his mother spoke first, defending him, "You know he doesn't do that without a good reason."

"What good reason could there be? Don't encourage this, you know how he gets when he's involved in these sort of things. He's just like your dad when it comes to being rough. It's a miracle those kids' parents haven't reported the case yet," Akashi stated, setting his mug down. After a while he turned to Haru with a stern look and asked him, "What really happened? I know you're not telling us the full story."

"They hurt Kentaro," Haruki responded truthfully without hesitation.

Both parents were puzzled. They even stared at him for a while, thinking their child was simply bluffing.

However, Haruki didn't seem to mind their reaction and continued to eat his breakfast. "Yesterday, I came home late because I was at his house, treating his wounds."

Maki finally reacted and almost rose from her chair, "You're serious? Is Ken-chan alright??"

"He's fine, but his ankle got twisted so he's having a lot of trouble walking," the teen explained, "He's got a lot of bruises too."

"THEN HOW IS THAT OKAY?!"

"Calm down, it's still too dark for you to yell," Akashi mentioned and he was right. Since the trio had woken up way before dawn for completely different reasons, it was a little inconvenient for them to start yelling before their neighbors were even up yet.

Haruki went on, "Ginger's a big boy now. He's not bothered at all by it, and he's got me, alright?"

Maki lowered her voice but was still worried, "I just hope his nanny's taking good care of him too. How was she when you saw her yesterday?"

His what now?

Haruki's mind blanked for a moment, then he remembered how Kentaro had told these two about his made-up nanny.

That's right, they have no idea he lives alone.

"I honestly can't help but worry for that kid," Maki went on before Haru could think of anything to say, "He's so young and yet he doesn't even stay with any form of blood-relative. He's got a nanny, yes, but I swear sometimes I get a strange feeling about her, even though I've never met her. As if she's not doing her job."

"You and me both," Akashi agreed.

I can relate, Haruki thought as he continued to eat. That's just how I used to think.

"And he's mother's always away too," Maki sighed.

Like some people, Haruki thought with an eye-roll but said nothing. At least for now his parents were trying his best to get off work early. And their trips had lessened by a lot too. Spending an entire week without being contacted for a business trip was truly a miracle.

"That's why I woke up super early today," Haruki informed them, "I'm going to his house first before I head for school. Which reminds me, can I please stay at Ken's for a few days," Haru suddenly requested, surprising both his parents. He quickly read into their expressions and added with a, "It's just that I'm worried that he won't get the help he needs from that nanny of his. Most of the time, she's not even around. It's still okay if you don't want me to go. I'll just keep visiting him instead."

"No, no, you can go," Maki waved her hands and then smiled, "I was just surprised that you actually asked for it. You've never done so, and especially with how strained your relationship with Ken-chan was becoming, I was sure you guys wouldn't last till Christmas."

"Strained?" Akashi hadn't even noticed, "That's news to me."

"Yes, pay attention," she clicked her tongue and shook her head in disbelief before turning back to her son, "How long will you be staying with him."

"Not long, only until he's okay again," Haruki stated. "Two-three days?"

"Just that?" the woman thought for a moment then snapped her fingers, "Since you'll taking care of someone, how about you take a break from school during that time. I know Ken won't be going anywhere, and that'll just make your job easier."

Both father and son stared at the woman, eyebrows raised.

Akashi rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing, "Did you just encourage our son to skip school, Maki?"

"Is it even okay for me to skip school?" Haruki pondered deeply, looking at his father.

"No, it isn't," Akashi said.

"Yes it is if it's for the right reasons," Maki crossed her arms, "You'll study at Kentaro's place."

"How will you know for sure that I'm studying?" the thirteen-year-old grinned.

"He will tell me."

Haruki: "......"

Maki, "He always tells me."

That little brat, an evident vein bulged on Haruki's his forehead.

"You'd better inform the school then about their absences for the next three days," Akashi told Maki, giving up on the entire issue, "And probably come up with a decent excuse for both of them."

Maki took out her mobile and began texting immediately. It seemed she'd already planned this for a long time now.

Sometimes, that woman really does scare me. I can never know what she's thinking, Haru thought.

***

After being dropped off by his parents at Ken's front porch and forbidding them from entering the household with the excuse that they'd only wake up the kid, Haruki made his way into the house using the spare key he'd been given.

It was only still dawn, and since he wasn't going to school anymore, he decide to rest up a little and finish his dreams. But before that, he made sure to check on Ken.

Upon discovering that he was still asleep in his room, Haruki gently shut the door again and headed for the room next door.

He'd been certain that, with his mother's bickering and persistence in seeing Kentaro earlier, half the neighborhood would have been aroused from their slumbers.

"There're so many rooms here," Haru mused to himself and let down the small bag with clothes that he'd brought with him onto the floor. With a yawn, he slumped onto the bed tiredly.

"Just one hour, then I'll wake up..."

It didn't take long for him to doze off.

 

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[author: Yeah, uh...... I changed Maki Fukuda's 'Little Ken' to 'Ken-chan' since it made more sense this way to me. 'Little Ken' is a bit danmei-ish (pfft) . You know like "Xiao Ken". Of which this is a Japanese novel (or at least I think so)] 

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