Chapter 5: 5. The Feminists Cometh!

“Listen to me, ok? I swear to you, I never used a Charm spell on you.”

A wooden cutting board whizzed past my head.

“Get the fuck out of my bakery you lying bastard!”

The next item lifted to be thrown was a large bread knife.

 

The starting town of Ratia was absolutely plastered with posters. Posters that I had neglected to pay attention to as I snuck out after my miraculous revival.

 

“We don’t serve your kind in this inn. It scares away our female clientele.”

“What if I pay double?”

“Please leave, or I will call the guard.”

 

Said posters had on them a crudely drawn portrait of me, as well as some, frankly, slanderous accusations:

 

Warning!

This man, Ken Kouboku, is a sexual predator. He preys on vulnerable women and casts Charm magic on them to make them sleep with him. He is a vile, malicious misogynist and pervert who sees women as nothing but objects for his sexual gratification. We advise all women to stay away from him and to make sure not to make eye contact, lest you too shall fall under his devious magic spells.

 

Signed, Ratia’s Feminist Front

 

The more time I spent on Mithuna, the more it revealed itself to be just like earth. Minus the heated toilet seats.

 

“This is bullshit! Ken saved our town from the dragon, and this is how they thank him?!”

The only place that let me stay was CEL-Inn.

It stood for Craft - Education - Learning, and was a guy-only inn where the more academically inclined adventurers could work in peace, without the distractions of the flesh.

“They just chose him as a scapegoat because he’s famous! They’re trying to promote their anti-male agenda by trampling a hero’s reputation!”

The person defending me so vehemently was Bartholomeus, the owner of this fine establishment.

“Soon, men won’t be allowed to be heroes anymore! They won’t even be allowed to be adventurers!” Bart continued.

The rest of the patrons responded with table-thumping agreement to his rabble rousing.

At least my drinks were on the house.

I sighed as I downed what passed for whisky in this world. Beer wouldn’t cut it today.

This whole ordeal was quite the problem. Feminists and white knights have been after me many, many times.

I put the glass down on one of the posters that I was now using as a coaster. It didn’t even look like me!

Unlike the previous times I’ve been attacked on earth, here at least half of one sentence of the accusations was actually true.

“Don’t worry, Ken,” Bart said as he took away my glass. “You can stay here as long as you like. No feminazis can touch you in this sanctuary of man.”

It would be worth noting that Mithuna did not have Nazis. I think. Also, Bart wasn’t even his real name. His name was Yamada, and he was an office worker in Tokyo before he got hit by a bus and sent here.

Ratia was packed full of these traffic accident victims.

Thankfully, using Charm magic to convince people to sleep with you wasn’t actually against the law in Ratia, but was something the local feminist lobby was trying to change.

Aphrodite must have known this would happen. The scheming bitch.

Anaestraza told me the goddess can watch me, anywhere. She didn’t say anything about reading minds.

And yet the timing of the knock on the door made me feel like that pink-haired minx was reading mine off a teleprompter.

It was a girl. A young, attractive girl, dressed in what appeared to be Mithuna’s version of nun clothing, which meant the same but blue instead of black.

She immediately drew the eyes of every patron in the inn.

“We don’t serve you kind here, sister,” Bart growled at her.

The girl seemed shocked by the reception. “Uh… I-I’m here to deliver a message to Mr. Kouboku?”

“They’re sending death threats now? Animals!” one of the patrons, named Grundevar, or Shinsuke if you didn’t buy his bullshit.

“What’s in the message?!” Bart demanded.

“I-I don’t know! I was just told to deliver this letter by the priestess!” the girl replied, shakily presenting a small envelope, too terrified to cross the threshold.

“It's probably poison!” another patron shouted.

“I-it’s just a letter! I-I swear!”

I stood up and approached the door.

“Be careful Ken!” Bart. “It might be a bomb.”

I carefully took the letter from the girl’s shaking hands. “Thank you,” I said softly, trying to smile and ease her tension.

“Begone thot!” Shinsuke cried, and the rest of the patrons soon joined him.

“BEGONE THOT!”

The girl scrambled away, almost falling over as she turned to slam the door shut behind her.

I took the letter back to the bar.

It was just a plain paper envelope, with a wax seal. A flowery seal that looked awfully familiar.

“Wait! Ken, allow me to detect magic first,” Bart said and put his hand above it. His hand glowed faintly for a moment.

“No magic. There can still be poison. Let me get you some gloves and a mask,” he said, rushing off.

I quickly opened the seal before he tried to destroy it out of safety concerns.

 

Come to the library on the west side of town tonight.  

 

Well. This could easily be a love letter, or an invitation to my own assassination. Both options were preferable to staying where I was.

Bart returned with a pair of surgical gloves and mask. Or at least the closest thing he could make with the materials that could be found. “You’ve opened it?! Are you alright?!”

“Bart,” I said, looking him right in the eyes. “I need you to destroy this letter. Completely.”

Bart nodded firmly, put on a glove, grabbed the letter and tossed it onto a plate.

“Flame on!” he declared and a small puff of flame short from his hand and obliterated the piece of paper from existence.

“I need to go,” I said, pulling up a hood generously gifted by one of the inn’s patrons.

“Outside?! Those feminazis are everywhere!” Bart protested.

“I know. But I must,” I said, turning to the door.

“Where are you going? We’ll send a search party if you don’t return,” Bart said.

“I can’t tell you. But if anyone comes asking, I am up in my room sleeping, ok?”

Bart gave me a knowing nod and a salute as I left.

 

The western gate was the one most adventurers used when going out on their guild quests or other adventures, as well as return. The second part was optional.

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As a result, the entire area was lined on one side with shops and stalls selling everything an adventurer can spend his loot on, while the other was lined with stalls of healing supplies and small private hospitals similar to the one I woke up in.

The library was right next to such a house of healing. A sizeable stone building that was also used as a refuge during the dragon attacks.

At first I thought I wouldn’t need to actually bother with the hood. But an angry mob of wives and white knights husbands quickly formed as I was recognized, and chased me into the town’s alleys.

There weren’t as many people walking around after dark, but some of the stores, and the hospitals were still open. It was probably safe for me to take off the hood.

I crossed the street with an inconspicuous trot and entered the library.

The place was dimly lit with lanterns, as candles would probably be a bit of a hazard, and smelled of light incense for some reason. The place was almost completely empty aside for the old librarian and some adventurers studying tomes around the tables

I was very much hoping for the librarian to be a girl when I first heard of this place. Alas, you can’t have everything. Though I did have some fun with a mage behind the Necromancy section. Libraries were always such a lovely place for erotic adventures.

“Psst,” came a call from nearby.

The erotica section. This might just turn into an adventure after all.

A figure waited for me in the darkness between the shelves.

As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw that it was the same girl who delivered the letter.

“I must say, a note is a very romantic way of getting my attention,” I whispered. “Did you want to meet me because or in spite of my reputation around town?”

The girl smiled. “While the goddess most certainly approves of such relations between her acolytes, this is not what I called you here for.”

An acolyte of Aphrodite. I did wonder how she was going to actually tell me about the girls I needed to seduce.

I stepped closer to her.

“Do you always obey your goddess?” I asked.

She gave me a mischievous look. “Most of the time.”

I gasped silently before leaning in to whisper. “A sinner?”

“Yes,” she whispered back.

My hand was on her upper arm when I leaned in to whisper, and her rested on mine when she whispered back, even though she didn’t need to do so.

A green light for more physicality?

I slid my hand gently down her arm, and she followed suit with hers. When our palms met, I squeezed her hands… and she squeezed back. All the while, she did not move back at all, even leaning forward slightly.

Aphrodite sure knew how to pick them.

“Is that why she made you wear these unflattering nun robes?” I asked.

She giggled. “No. It would be difficult to carry out our missions in our regular attire, so we put these robes over ourselves when we leave the temple.”

“And what is it you regularly wear? What lovely outfit are you hiding under your robes?”

She stared at me for a moment. Then leaned in to whisper. “Nothing.”

I gave her neck a kiss.

She gasped quietly.

This was as green a light as I needed. I pulled her hands up and over her head, and pressed her against the bookshelves.

She looked at me with surprised desire. A look that I never got tired of seeing.

I leaned in to kiss her.

“Stop,” she whispered.

It wasn’t a coy, or shy stop, or some token resistance to feel she did not give in too easily. This one was genuine.

Her eyes were still colored with desire, but they also communicated we had business.

“The first woman you’re looking for is here in Ratia,” she whispered. “She has long, pink hair, green eyes, and will be wearing a white, flowery dress.”

“That’s rather vague,” I replied.

“That is what the goddess has told me to pass on.”

“First my reputation, now this. Does Aphrodite not want me to succeed?”

“She merely wishes for you to earn this conquest.”

I leaned forward to give her a stern look. “That is no way to speak of a woman.”

She stared back at me with even more desire from the tension of my challenge and the fact that I was still pinning her to the bookshelves. “You will know when you see her.”

“I think she can wait until tomorrow, don’t you?” I whispered.

“No. Sadly, she cannot.”

I nodded. “Well, at least let me know your name, you devilish temptress of Aphrodite.”

“Melody, sir.”

I kissed her and she kissed me, passionately.

After a few magical moments, her leg connected with my stomach and shoved me back against the opposing shelves.

“Help! It’s that Charm spell rapist! Help!” Melody yelled.

I gave her a pose asking if this was really necessary.

She stuck out her tongue out playfully and gestured with her head for me to get moving.

 

 

And so I ran. The old librarian wasn’t going to catch me, but some good Samaritan bookworm might be a problem.

As I rushed out to the street, I was greeted by considerable commotion.

There were torches, shouting, horses and people running about.

What looked like injured adventurers were being rushed in through the west gate and towards the hospitals.

A lot of adventurers.

As I watched, someone grabbed onto me.

“Help…” the person groaned before collapsing at my feet.

I knelt down. It was dark, but I could see the pool of blood forming from where he was supposed to have a foot.

“Move please!” someone cried and pushed me aside.

They were a girl.

“Could you please hold this?” She said, handing me a torch.

She leaned in to inspect the adventurer. She tried flipping him over, but needed my help to do so.

Once he was face up, we could see it wasn’t just the foot. His whole chest was pretty much clawed through.

She put her fingers to his bloody neck to feel for a pulse, then checked his eyes for any signs.

Then she sat back on her heels and dropped her head in defeat.

She breathed deeply. She was crying.

I pointed the torch at her.

Long pink hair.

She looked up at me, her crying face illuminated by the flame.

Kind, Green eyes, her cheeks lovely and rosy from her efforts, and a white, flowery dress, perfectly hugging her body, and was now stained with blood.

Oh Aphrodite, you were one jealous goddess.

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