Chapter 52: 51. Loriam’s gloom

Another day without my little girl. Loriam sighed as she woke up. For the last week, the bed she has slept in for over a century felt pointlessly huge and empty.

How did I even manage all those years? Loriam wondered as she turned around, embracing a pillow that Julia had been using when she slept over. True, she might have only used it for a week after she was almost killed. But still, it was the closest thing to comfort for Loriam without snooping through her daughter’s room.

And even her pet is nowhere to be found... When Julia was leaving, Loriam promised her to take good care of Lily. But as soon as Julia left, Lily likewise disappeared.

That was, however, to be expected; after all, Lily only stuck to Julia like glue. In fact, she seems to dislike everyone who isn’t Julia. which is rather surprising for Loriam. After all, it was only because Loriam bought her that she was able to be with Julia. Can’t I have at least a little recognition from her? Loriam sighed.

Sure, Lily was and still is a slave. Of course, she would detest the nation and the people that enslaved her. But considering how much she seems to enjoy being by Julia’s side, she could show a little bit of gratitude to the one who purchased her.

"It's pointless to think about it right now. At least she isn’t causing trouble for Julia."

Loriam sighed again as she buried her face in the pillow. It was too early to get up anyway. With her daughter away and her daughter’s pet nowhere to be found, she had a little reason to get up.

"... Screw it, one glass will not hurt me."

After staring at the ceiling for way too long, unable to fall asleep. Loriam kicked away her blank and left the room. Aiming her way to her office where she should have some wine stashed away somewhere.

After she lost her daughter, Loriam began drinking a lot more than she used to. And she was fully aware that she had a drinking problem; she just didn’t see a point in dealing with it. Drinking into oblivion was better for her than having to think of what cruel fate her daughter encountered anyway.

And besides, if she ended up drinking herself to death, would that even be bad? What point was there for her to keep on living? when the only person she was supposed to be protecting with her life was no longer there? Once she would die, she could at least see her little Julia one last time and apologize for failing as a mother. For years, Loriam cried herself to sleep with these thoughts.

Of course, once Julia returned home safely, Loriam stopped drinking entirely. saving all booze only for special occasions. That, of course, includes reuniting with her daughter. Though Julia was hostile at first, Loriam thought it was deserved.

After all, it was just a stroke of luck that Julia was taken by her father rather than someone else.

The incident caused Loriam to think about her whole life, wondering with what blasphemy she had angered the gods. But figured out nothing.

"Hah, no good. Did my mind always go through such depressing thoughts, or is it just that she isn’t here?"

Loriam laughed self-mockingly. What a pathetic woman I am. In her mind, the sleeping face of Julia appeared. It was a distant memory from when Julia was still a little baby, lightly clinging to Loriam’s nightgown. Just a small defenseless baby that Loriam failed to protect.

Then the image overlapped with the time after the attempt on Julia’s life. A second time, Loriam failed to protect her only daughter. And now she was out there fighting a war. which could turn into a field day for some nobles if Julia were to die.

"A battlefield is a dangerous place, but she is with the best soldiers of the whole blood race. Surely, she will be safe."

Loriam muttered to reassure herself as she poured herself a glass of wine in her office. drinking it in a single gulp. Loriam sighs and looks out the window at the still-dark sky.

As she stared out the window, her muscle memory brought back her old habits and she began pouring another serving of wine.

Loriam, realizing what she was doing. gasped and closed the bottle of wine, making a mess on the floor in the process.

"Sigh… This could start some rumors."

She sighed and began cleaning up the mess she had made. Once she finished cleaning, she hoped that no one would notice. Loriam had hidden the wine bottle again and left the room.

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Not feeling like sleeping, Loriam decided to instead take a walk through the palace that was still enwrapped in darkness.

The quiet atmosphere of the palace halls, which Loriam was not used to, made for a rather relaxing walk. However, only accompanied by the quiet sound of her own footsteps, she ventured through the dark corridors. Wondering whether or not she could have done something different in the past to give her daughter a better life.

Loriam was aware that it was counterproductive to think about it when the purpose of this walk was to come to different thoughts. But she couldn’t help it.

Huh? What is that smell? As she walked, lost in her thoughts, a smell that reminded her of the smell of incense commonly used in temples.

"We thank you for your guidance and protection. We ask that you continue to bless us and protect us from harm."

As Loriam approached the corner of the corridor, a quiet voice, as if in prayer, entered her ears. Loriam carefully peaked around the corner and saw a maid kneeling on the ground, with her hands put together in prayer.

Is she praying ...here? There is no shrine, though. Loriam wondered what she was seeing. She observed the maid praying in front of a normal desk with a few incense sticks burning on top of it.

Loriam had no idea what the maid was doing. Normally you would either go to the temple in the city or go to the small shrine. There were five in total in the palace. And it wasn't like the nearest was that far away; after all, it was just down the stairs.

The maid’s behavior would make sense only if she didn’t worship the same god that the rest of the blood race worshiped.

Then Loriam spotted to what was the maid praying. There was a portrait, a normal portrait of one of Loriam’s ancestors and said ancestor’s younger sister.

This was a rather shocking view for Loriam. Normally, people don’t want to be anywhere near this portrait, much less pray to it. After all, almost everyone considered this painting to be cursed. As for why a cursed painting would hang in the royal palace, it was simply because anyone who tried to remove it died a few days later. And that included the queens that didn’t bother to put it back.

Loriam herself didn’t believe that rumor. True to be told, her grandmother also died after she ordered it to be removed. If Loriam remembered correctly, her grandmother didn’t believe it either, nor did she particularly care about that painting. But little Loriam was scared of it, or more precisely, she was scared of the scars that the woman in the painting had.

Loriam’s grandmother then ordered it to be removed and the scars painted over. Just five days later, she was dead. Loriam believed it to just be a coincidence, but her mother apparently didn’t think so and ordered the painting to be put back.

"May your majesty be blessed with subordinates worthy of fighting under your command. And may you return in triumph befitting of your glorious name."

The maid looked at the painting with the eyes of a devoted believer. Loriam tried to lean in slightly to get a better look, but as she did, the floor under her feet squeaked.

Loriam panicked, briefly letting the maid out of her sight. When she looked back, the maid wasn’t anywhere to be found. Loriam wanted to turn around and get away from this place. But before she could even take a single step, something smacked her over the head, knocking her out.

"Why did you have to be the one to see me? Why the only person I can’t dispose of?"

The maid stood above an unconscious Loriam, muttering to herself. She glanced from Loriam to the painting. Her expression changed to one of fear.

"Am I betraying her majesty now? She does seem to like this woman…"

The maid panicked, checking Loriam’s condition and sighing in relief when she found that Loriam was still alive. Then she stood up and ran off, returning shortly with a bottle of wine. She then almost completely emptied the bottle, spilling some on the ground and on Loriam herself. making it look like she just got drunk.

Once she was satisfied with her arranged scene, the maid sneaked away. Leaving Loriam lying on the floor.