Chapter 32: 32. Girlfriends

"So that went pretty well didn't it?" Susan asked as the five of us headed into the house. "I know there were a couple tense moments and some difficult conversations, but it all seemed to work out ok?"

Mira nodded, "Yeah. I guess."

I knew she was uneasy again. I could feel it, but it was also pretty clear in her voice and stuff. I knew our girlfriends had to notice it as well.

Amber commented, "You don't sound so sure Mira."

My other half hesitated, so I spoke up. "Actually the difficult conversations aren't over yet. Do you think maybe we could all have a talk right now?"

The looks I got from our girlfriends ranged from curious to concerned, while Mira just stayed tense.

"Is there something wrong?" Melissa asked. She looked from me to Mira and added, "Did something else happen that we don't know about yet?"

I sighed, "Can we just all sit down and talk?"

We left our backpacks and stuff on the dining table that we never used, unpacking and laundry and all that would wait till later. So would dinner. Instead we all just grabbed drinks then went into the living-room.

Melissa, Susan, and Amber sat together on the sectional, while me and Mira sat across from them on the love-seat. I wasn't sure I liked that arrangement, especially considering the stuff we needed to talk about. Like it felt a little too 'us versus them'. But I knew Mira wasn't comfortable squeezing onto the sectional with our girlfriends, and I wasn't going to leave her all alone on the far side of the room while I sat with the others.

"So what's going on Mara?" Melissa asked once we were all seated. "This feels like something serious?"

I grimaced, "It is serious. And um, I suck at this sort of thing. You all know how bad I am at this. So I'm hoping that you'll be patient with us and stuff? And like, don't jump to conclusions, hear us out, stay open-minded or whatever?"

"Ok Mara," Susan responded. "So what's wrong?"

After a deep breath I stated, "It's relationship stuff. Specifically about the five of us..."

I faltered slightly then dove in with my typical non-stop info-dump nervous babble.

"So like we said at dinner last night and like our mom helped explain and stuff, Mira isn't really a stranger and she's not who everyone including her thought she was. She and me are actually like two sides of the same coin or whatever, we're both connected and she's been here with us all along. You probably noticed how she's been uptight or awkward the past month, that's because she loves you all as much as I do since she and I are the same, so like she fell in love with each of you the same time I did. And she's been feeling bad because she's been left out of all that stuff since everyone thought she was kind of a stranger who just showed up, except that's not it at all. So I guess what I'm getting at is she's already part of the DLP and technically already girlfriends with all of you except nobody realized it until last night, and now I'm super worried you're going to freak out or something because I know it looks like I'm talking about having you all sleep with my twin sister or whatever? But she's not my sister or my twin she's me and I'm her and..."

"Mara stop," Melissa interrupted. "Stop talking, take a few deep breaths."

"Sorry," I sighed, but apart from that I stayed quiet and did the deep breathing thing like she said.

While I was doing that, Susan spoke up. "Mara, Mira, I know what you and your mom said yesterday. It's been on my mind off and on since we all had that conversation. And you're right, we've all noticed that Mira seemed uptight around us. Even before you two were in separate bodies, when she was sharing yours we could always tell it was her because of how she seemed sort of uneasy. Now that I understand why, it makes a lot of sense."

She added, "Mira I'm sorry you've had to go through that. I know it can't have been easy for you, and I'm sure this weekend's revelations aren't going to instantly fix everything. For you or for the rest of us."

"Thank you," my other half said, but her voice was still quiet. She was still obviously uneasy.

Amber asked, "Mira could you maybe tell us... I don't know? Tell us how you feel, what it's like, what you want or need? Mara's sort of told us the problem, in her own special way, but I think we need to hear it from you."

I felt her get a little more uptight so I slipped my arm around her waist and gave her a gentle squeeze. I wanted to make sure she knew I was there for her, supporting her and all.

Mira took a deep breath then explained in a slightly quiet, strained voice.

"It's different now, since yesterday. But the past month it was like I felt close to all of you, I felt like I knew you all even though I couldn't directly remember meeting you before as myself? I had some of Mara's memories, I knew who each of you were and I could recall details of your time with Mara and other things she'd learned about you. But those memories, that information, all of it felt second-hand. Like I got it from Mara. My own memories and experiences told me I was someone else, someone separate. So as much as I wanted to be closer with you, I forced myself to hold back because I thought I was a stranger. I thought I had no right to push my way into your relationships, your lives."

After a brief pause she continued, "Talking with mom yesterday, she figured some stuff out. Then me and Mara figured other stuff out, and it's like a veil was lifted. Memories and stuff that had been buried were suddenly back. It's still a bit... It's hard to describe. I remember my life as Mara. I remember being her, being with all of you, falling in love with all of you. But those memories are still kind of distant, because after that life I have memories of Lily's daughter's life. Like there's nineteen years of being this Mara here, then there's sixteen centuries of being Lily's Mara, then a month of being Mira and feeling confused as hell. And finally twenty-four hours of knowing who I really am."

"As for what I want..." Mira hesitated, then she slipped her arm around me so we were both sort of hugging and cuddling each other. "It's difficult to say, but I'd very much like to belong. To be part of the DLP, to be part of your group."

I stated, "You already are! You're -"

Mira shook her head as she cut me off, "You can't tell them what to do or how to feel Mara. All we can do is explain the situation and ask."

"Thanks Mira," Melissa said. "I can't speak for Sue or Amber, but for myself I get how difficult this is for you, and for Mara, and for the rest of us. Thanks for telling us your side of it and how you feel."

I spoke up again, "Does that mean we're good? She's part of the DLP?"

After a brief pause Melissa nodded, "Part of the DLP for sure, as far as I'm concerned."

Susan added, "I'm ok with that too. Mira you're welcome here with us, the 'guest room' is now your room if that's what you want. Beyond that though, it's going to take time."

Sue looked at me and explained, "We need to get to know Mira. I understand what you said, that she already knows and loves us, but we don't have that experience with her. And yes I understand that you and her are connected, that you were the same up till a few months ago or last year or whenever it happened? But you're not the same now. She's got another sixteen hundred years of memories and experiences that you don't Mara. And you have a few months of memories and experiences with us that she doesn't have. So we need time to get to know her again."

"Thank you," Mira responded. "That's the best I could hope for."

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"Amber?" Susan asked as she looked to her left. "You've been quiet, but we need to know how you feel too. What do you think?"

The succubus cutie nodded, "You and Melissa both covered everything I was thinking. I'm on board with what you two said, Mira's part of the DLP and I'm glad she's got a place here. And yes, we all need to get to know each other again."

She looked at my other self and added, "I have a question for you. It's not actually relevant to the relationship stuff, just something I'm curious about. Are you part sex demon after all, like Mara, and Lily? Or are you more like the past-life Mara?"

Mira grimaced, "That's another topic which is kind of complicated and confusing."

Melissa smirked, "Complicated and confusing describes almost everything related to Mara."

"Hey!" I pouted, but everyone else was smiling. Including Mira.

She still had her arm around me and she gave me a little squeeze as she said, "I won't deny that this Mara can be complicated and unpredictable, but I wasn't actually referring to her."

I kept pouting, while Mira's expression became serious again.

"To answer your question Amber, the problem is a sort of mental disconnect? My nature is like this Mara here, and like Lily. So yeah, I'm a sex demon. But intellectually or mentally, I think more like the past Mara. Mainly because I have sixteen centuries' worth of those memories and experience in my head?"

"It's actually another reason why I've been kind of uptight at times," she admitted as her cheeks turned red. "I've been a lot more interested in sex this past month than I remember being in the previous sixteen-hundred years, and it's kind of confusing and awkward."

I grinned and held her a little closer as I offered, "If you need a hand working out some of that frustration I'm happy to help!"

Mira's cheeks turned even brighter red, while Melissa facepalmed.

"Mara, that's not..." our best friend sighed at me. "Don't you remember how everyone thought it was inappropriate when you were dancing with Mira at halloween?"

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes. "First off, not everyone thought that. Like half of them thought it was hot. Second off, we're not really sisters or twins, she's me and I'm her. And finally, between the five of us we're three succubi and two sex demons. Human rules don't apply. What me and my other self do with each other is just between the two of us."

Before anyone else could respond I looked back at Mira and half-whispered, "If you want, we could hook up in your villa? That's like ultimate privacy right? Nobody can look in on us there."

"Nobody but our mater!" she sputtered. "And I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing that sort of thing under her nose!"

The way she flustered at my flirting or whatever reminded me of Lily, and honestly I thought it was kind of cute.

I grinned and pointed out, "The three of us are connected, Lily's going to have a front-row seat wherever we do it. And whoever we do it with. She mostly doesn't watch though, so don't worry about it."

Melissa raised an eyebrow as she asked "Mostly?"

Amber spoke up again before we got too far off-topic, with another question for my other self.

"Mira, do you think you might be ace?" the cute brunette asked. "Or do you think past-Mara was ace? You know I'm demi-ace right? If you are, or you think you might be, maybe I can help you out if you have any questions or anything."

Mira was still blushing as she replied, "Thank you for the offer Amber. I don't think past-Mara was ace? She was just young and inexperienced. Young for a demon, I mean. And she wasn't a sex demon, so it wasn't really a thing she put much thought into. She never had... She never had a partner, girlfriend or boyfriend or anything. As for me, I... I think I'm a lot more like this Mara? But I have like, sixteen centuries of celibacy to get past, on top of all the other awkwardness and everything else that's happened recently."

I looked at my other half and stated, "One thousand six hundred years of celibacy is like a thousand five hundred and ninety-nine point nine years too many! We have to fix this problem immediately!"

Her cheeks got even brighter and she sort of half-grinned, "Maybe not right away? We should have dinner first, and do laundry and..."

"Fine," I said with an exaggerated eye-roll. "We'll be responsible first."

Melissa and Susan were both staring at me, and I got the feeling they weren't sure if I was serious about taking Mira to bed or if I was just being my usual silly self. My intuition thing told me that they weren't even sure how to feel or what to do either way.

Amber didn't seem to have any such concerns, and I thought it was kind of ironic that the ace succubus was the one who didn't think any of this was a problem. She commented, "Mira if you're not ready for whatever Mara's suggesting, I can offer you lots of hugs and cuddles any time you like."

"Thanks Amber," my other half smiled. "I appreciate that."

Susan finally looked to me and said, "Mara? Apart from some awkward stuff here and there, you handled this whole situation really well. It makes me happy knowing how important it is to you that the people you care about are happy."

"Ditto," Melissa agreed. "Ninety-five percent unpredictable horny demonic gremlin, five percent heart of gold."

Mira smiled and pulled me a little closer. She whispered, "Your girlfriends are right. You're a good person Mara."

I leaned into the hug and gave her a kiss then whispered, "Our girlfriends. Go join them on the sectional and start getting to know them better. I'll go figure out dinner."

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