If I Can't Be Your Wife
***
***
No one was pushing his back, but his steps got faster without him realizing it. Alexis slammed the door open with enough force to break it.
Viscount Rylent, gasped, noticing that he was wearing a robe and slippers, and had a somewhat startled face.
“I’m sorry, Your Grace. I should have reported it properly, but the news came in haste, so I was rude. Please forgive me.”
“Where is she?”
He tried to suppress his nervousness, but it didn’t work. He had never felt this way when he took the lead in the Battle of the Southern Plains, with tens of thousands of enemies before his eyes.
It was unfamiliar to him, as if his breathing was unstable and his fingertips were burning.
Courtesy didn’t matter. He had to grab her again before the sand that he barely held in his hand could scatter away like a mirage.
“I’m asking you where is she!”
“She is being escorted right now. As you said, she was in a field near the village. Fortunately, there were no serious injuries. She will probably arrive soon.”
Only after hearing that she was coming back soon did he finally calmed down. Alexis called Alsdorf and had her maid, Emily, stand by outside.
As he went into his bedroom to change his clothes, Viscount Rylent followed him inside.
“My lord, Miss Edith has sent you some medicine. She said that she got some Tassart from herbalists in a hurry and made it into medicine.”
The dark green liquid in the small bottle didn’t look very fresh at first glance.
“It’s not the best, but they said it would be better than not taking it.”
“By the way, I forgot.”
Alexis gave an answer based on a thought that came to mind.
“Now Edith is forbidden from entering the Duke’s residence.”
“What?”
“There seems to have been a needless misunderstanding. It would be better to prevent it this time.”
There was nothing more foolish than repeating his previous mistakes. Alexis said as he inserted his arm in his sleeve.
“Make sure you get the medicine directly from the back door of the Duke’s mansion.”
“But Miss Edith would be reluctant to come here in person. Shall we find another pharmacist then?”
“Give her double the usual pay.”
Viscount Rylent, whose temples were already pounding at the thought of arguing with her, was delighted.
“Oh, yes! Alright.”
However, the problem that was solved was brief, and the Viscount cautiously added, paying attention to Alexis’ mood.
“Your Grace. We had some trouble bringing the Madame.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The Madame was with someone else and there was resistance, but they said that he fell off a cliff during the confrontation.”
“Is he dead?”
“We’re not sure yet. It is a very grassy place and there is a lot of wildlife, so the search will take some time.”
The hand that was fastening the golden button on the sleeve stopped.
“Is it possibly the Delafos disciple?”
“Yes. It was the priest named Joseph, who stayed here for a while.”
“Find him at all costs.”
The Knights Templar did not kill people without a special order in non-wartime situations or those with a somewhat rough temper. They were sent because they were more agile and disciplined than escort knights, but the fact that there was such a conflict meant that he really sacrificed his life and rebelled.
Alexis felt an ominous feeling for an unknown reason, and fastened the button.
“Make sure to bring him in front of me if he’s alive.”
He was the one who said he did not covet anything that was not his. So he paid the price for telling lies before God.
The sound of a carriage rolling over the gravel was heard. Alexis went to the window and drew the curtains. Sunlight shone through the gray clouds and illuminated the black carriage, and Emily could be seen running from the main building and opening the carriage door.
Alexis immediately left the bedroom.
The footsteps going down the stairs uncontrollably accelerated.
When he reached the first floor with such an unknown feeling, he finally saw his wife again after three years.
Kathleen, who had just entered the main building, had scarlet hair. The woman whom he saw with a cloudy vision in the small bakery was right in front of him.
Alexis walked towards her as if he was possessed. But Kathleen, whom he met up close, was different from Viscount Rylant’s report.
Her messy hair had glue on her and her clothes were dirty. There were wounds on her cheeks where she had been scratched.
He unconsciously reached out to her cheek.
“I heard you weren’t hurt, but why?”
Smack-!
Kathleen slapped Alexis’ hand away without answering.
Her tear-filled, pale blue eyes stared at him with evident anger. In his nine years of knowing her he had never seen her eyes like this.
He was speechless.
He had been familiar with hostile gazes since birth. So there was no reason for him to feel unsettled by Kathleen’s gaze. He couldn’t figure out why he was feeling this way.
“Get out of the way.”
“Kathleen.”
“Don’t call my name!”
Her angry voice broke out. The cry of the infant, startled by the loud noise, resounded like a scream. Only then did Alexis realize that Kathleen was holding her child in one of her arms.
Alexis looked at the baby with a stiff face.
Silver hair and light blue eyes.
It was exactly like Kathleen’s face. His heart froze.
Emily hurriedly ran from behind and took the child.
“Is that your boy?”
Alexis asked impulsively.
Even though he knew that it was an answer he didn’t want to hear or perhaps an answer that he didn’t need to hear.
“I asked if that’s your kid.”
“Do not pay attention to my child.”
“I can’t do that, Kathleen Walten.”
The servants who were watching the reunion of the Duke and his wife realized that the atmosphere was unusual, and they all disappeared like a low tide. Emily, restless with the child in her arms, also quietly retreated.
“My lost wife came back with her baby boy after three years, how can this not gain attention?”
“I’m not your wife anymore. I am not a Walten.”
“You must have forgotten, but we never divorced.”
At those words, Kathleen’s face turned blue.
“…What do you mean we are not divorced?”
“You ran away at night without even writing a divorce letter, did you think I would proceed with the divorce on my own?”
She seemed perplexed. That’s why it made him feel worse. So, after escaping all this time, did she think she was free?
That’s why you had another man’s child.
He remembered the face of the baby he had glanced at. The child, fortunately, resembled Kathleen. If even a single strand of his hair looked like that guy’s, he couldn’t be sure what he would do.
“That means you’re still Kathleen Walten.”
“If you need a divorce letter, I will write it now. If you want, I will divorce you right now.”
“No.”
“You saw it yourself. My child.”
Kathleen exclaimed with defiant eyes. Her voice was trembling.
“He was born five months ago. He is not the Duke’s child.”
“…..”
“The boy’s father is dead. He… died because of the knights you sent.”
Transparent tears flowed down her cheeks. It was a fact he had already heard, but when he heard it from her mouth, he had indescribable feelings.
‘A child born with another man.’
He laughed out loud.
During their marriage, he was the one who said that he never wanted a child. He was also the one who was relieved by Kathleen’s words when she said she could not have children.
But why did he feel like he couldn’t stand those words at this moment?
“Then divorce me, because I don’t want to call the man who killed my child’s father my husband.”
Kathleen’s face was wet with tears. She continued to beg.
“Even the Duke can’t keep a woman who has given birth to another man’s child as his wife.”
“No.”
Alexis erased his cluttered thoughts. He nonchalantly said as he wiped her cheek.
“You will always be my wife. Stop thinking about divorce.”
“Duke!”
“The child born to the Duchess is also the Duke’s child, so he will receive the Walten name.”
“No!”
Kathleen grabbed him screaming, but Alexis had no intention of changing his mind. He spoke impulsively, but he figured it wasn’t a bad idea. If Kathleen was to be held captive, the child could be a good bargaining chip.
Having finished his calculations, he turned around.
Kathleen, looking at his unhesitating back, sat down helplessly.
***
Her life at the Duke’s after she returned home was different from before.
Three years ago Kathleen only had Emily by her side. But now, there were at least five maids attached to her.
“Madame, I brought you a meal. You should eat it, at least once.”
“Put it away.”
Her face was pale as if without blood, but her voice was firm. The maids did not know what to do. She was also different from before. If they were the maids from the past, they wouldn’t be so anxious if the lady who used to be a kitchen maid starved for a day or so.
But the maids who followed her now were all new faces different from three years ago.
“Madame, I really don’t know what will happen if you don’t eat today……”
“Please, eat at least a spoonful of soup.”
The maids begged. Kathleen said stubbornly.
“Then bring me my child.”
“Madame, that child is with the Master……”
“I won’t drink a sip of water unless you bring me my child!”
She thought she was familiar with the Duke’s mansion’s structure as she had lived here for seven years. But she could not find the child no matter how much she searched for him. Her voice was furious because of her nervousness, and her heart burned.
The most seasoned-looking maid stepped up.
“Madame, once you have eaten and regained your energy, you will be able to see the Young Master. His Grace said that. S-So…”
“Who is the Young Master? My son is not the Duchy’s Young Master.”
“M-Madame…”
Despite the raised voice, the Duchess’ denial was different from what they had heard. The handmaiden couldn’t continue her words and had a puzzled look on her face.
“It seems that life outside was hard, so you still have a fever. Why is that child not the Young Master Walten?”
Then, pushing the bedroom door open, Alexis entered. Kathleen looked at his arms reflexively, but he was not holding anything. Her nerves loosened.
“My son is sleeping well.”
She was so disgusted that she laughed. She couldn’t believe it. Even though he didn’t care to treat the child with sincerity, he was calling him that.
‘How will that man change if he finds out that he is his real son?’
Would he still call him ‘my son’?
“So let’s eat.”
Alexis said, forcefully holding the spoon. When the Duke personally attended her, all the maids quietly stepped out.
Kathleen threw the spoon away. Thin soup splashed all over the bowl, but Alexis didn’t blink.
She got up silently, put on a hat with a black ribbon that was laid on the table, and wrapped a black shawl around her shoulders.
“What’s with that outfit?”
Recognizing the reason for the hat and shawl, he asked in a low voice.
His furrowed eyebrows seemed to be holding back his anger.
She felt her own anger slowly dissipating. Kathleen smiled at him.
“My husband died, so I asked them to bring me the clothes I should be wearing.”
Chapter 29: 29
***
No one was pushing his back, but his steps got faster without him realizing it. Alexis slammed the door open with enough force to break it.
Viscount Rylent, gasped, noticing that he was wearing a robe and slippers, and had a somewhat startled face.
“I’m sorry, Your Grace. I should have reported it properly, but the news came in haste, so I was rude. Please forgive me.”
“Where is she?”
He tried to suppress his nervousness, but it didn’t work. He had never felt this way when he took the lead in the Battle of the Southern Plains, with tens of thousands of enemies before his eyes.
It was unfamiliar to him, as if his breathing was unstable and his fingertips were burning.
Courtesy didn’t matter. He had to grab her again before the sand that he barely held in his hand could scatter away like a mirage.
“I’m asking you where is she!”
“She is being escorted right now. As you said, she was in a field near the village. Fortunately, there were no serious injuries. She will probably arrive soon.”
Only after hearing that she was coming back soon did he finally calmed down. Alexis called Alsdorf and had her maid, Emily, stand by outside.
As he went into his bedroom to change his clothes, Viscount Rylent followed him inside.
“My lord, Miss Edith has sent you some medicine. She said that she got some Tassart from herbalists in a hurry and made it into medicine.”
The dark green liquid in the small bottle didn’t look very fresh at first glance.
“It’s not the best, but they said it would be better than not taking it.”
“By the way, I forgot.”
Alexis gave an answer based on a thought that came to mind.
“Now Edith is forbidden from entering the Duke’s residence.”
“What?”
There was nothing more foolish than repeating his previous mistakes. Alexis said as he inserted his arm in his sleeve.
“Make sure you get the medicine directly from the back door of the Duke’s mansion.”
“But Miss Edith would be reluctant to come here in person. Shall we find another pharmacist then?”
“Give her double the usual pay.”
Viscount Rylent, whose temples were already pounding at the thought of arguing with her, was delighted.
“Oh, yes! Alright.”
However, the problem that was solved was brief, and the Viscount cautiously added, paying attention to Alexis’ mood.
“Your Grace. We had some trouble bringing the Madame.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The Madame was with someone else and there was resistance, but they said that he fell off a cliff during the confrontation.”
“Is he dead?”
“We’re not sure yet. It is a very grassy place and there is a lot of wildlife, so the search will take some time.”
The hand that was fastening the golden button on the sleeve stopped.
“Is it possibly the Delafos disciple?”
“Yes. It was the priest named Joseph, who stayed here for a while.”
“Find him at all costs.”
The Knights Templar did not kill people without a special order in non-wartime situations or those with a somewhat rough temper. They were sent because they were more agile and disciplined than escort knights, but the fact that there was such a conflict meant that he really sacrificed his life and rebelled.
Alexis felt an ominous feeling for an unknown reason, and fastened the button.
“Make sure to bring him in front of me if he’s alive.”
The sound of a carriage rolling over the gravel was heard. Alexis went to the window and drew the curtains. Sunlight shone through the gray clouds and illuminated the black carriage, and Emily could be seen running from the main building and opening the carriage door.
Alexis immediately left the bedroom.
The footsteps going down the stairs uncontrollably accelerated.
When he reached the first floor with such an unknown feeling, he finally saw his wife again after three years.
Kathleen, who had just entered the main building, had scarlet hair. The woman whom he saw with a cloudy vision in the small bakery was right in front of him.
Alexis walked towards her as if he was possessed. But Kathleen, whom he met up close, was different from Viscount Rylant’s report.
Her messy hair had glue on her and her clothes were dirty. There were wounds on her cheeks where she had been scratched.
He unconsciously reached out to her cheek.
“I heard you weren’t hurt, but why?”
Smack-!
Kathleen slapped Alexis’ hand away without answering.
Her tear-filled, pale blue eyes stared at him with evident anger. In his nine years of knowing her he had never seen her eyes like this.
He was speechless.
He had been familiar with hostile gazes since birth. So there was no reason for him to feel unsettled by Kathleen’s gaze. He couldn’t figure out why he was feeling this way.
“Get out of the way.”
“Kathleen.”
“Don’t call my name!”
Her angry voice broke out. The cry of the infant, startled by the loud noise, resounded like a scream. Only then did Alexis realize that Kathleen was holding her child in one of her arms.
Alexis looked at the baby with a stiff face.
It was exactly like Kathleen’s face. His heart froze.
Emily hurriedly ran from behind and took the child.
“Is that your boy?”
Alexis asked impulsively.
Even though he knew that it was an answer he didn’t want to hear or perhaps an answer that he didn’t need to hear.
“I asked if that’s your kid.”
“Do not pay attention to my child.”
“I can’t do that, Kathleen Walten.”
The servants who were watching the reunion of the Duke and his wife realized that the atmosphere was unusual, and they all disappeared like a low tide. Emily, restless with the child in her arms, also quietly retreated.
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Alexis scoffed.“My lost wife came back with her baby boy after three years, how can this not gain attention?”
“I’m not your wife anymore. I am not a Walten.”
“You must have forgotten, but we never divorced.”
At those words, Kathleen’s face turned blue.
“…What do you mean we are not divorced?”
“You ran away at night without even writing a divorce letter, did you think I would proceed with the divorce on my own?”
She seemed perplexed. That’s why it made him feel worse. So, after escaping all this time, did she think she was free?
That’s why you had another man’s child.
He remembered the face of the baby he had glanced at. The child, fortunately, resembled Kathleen. If even a single strand of his hair looked like that guy’s, he couldn’t be sure what he would do.
“If you need a divorce letter, I will write it now. If you want, I will divorce you right now.”
“No.”
“You saw it yourself. My child.”
Kathleen exclaimed with defiant eyes. Her voice was trembling.
“He was born five months ago. He is not the Duke’s child.”
“…..”
“The boy’s father is dead. He… died because of the knights you sent.”
Transparent tears flowed down her cheeks. It was a fact he had already heard, but when he heard it from her mouth, he had indescribable feelings.
‘A child born with another man.’
He laughed out loud.
During their marriage, he was the one who said that he never wanted a child. He was also the one who was relieved by Kathleen’s words when she said she could not have children.
But why did he feel like he couldn’t stand those words at this moment?
“Then divorce me, because I don’t want to call the man who killed my child’s father my husband.”
Kathleen’s face was wet with tears. She continued to beg.
“Even the Duke can’t keep a woman who has given birth to another man’s child as his wife.”
“No.”
Alexis erased his cluttered thoughts. He nonchalantly said as he wiped her cheek.
“You will always be my wife. Stop thinking about divorce.”
“Duke!”
“No!”
Kathleen grabbed him screaming, but Alexis had no intention of changing his mind. He spoke impulsively, but he figured it wasn’t a bad idea. If Kathleen was to be held captive, the child could be a good bargaining chip.
Having finished his calculations, he turned around.
Kathleen, looking at his unhesitating back, sat down helplessly.
***
Her life at the Duke’s after she returned home was different from before.
Three years ago Kathleen only had Emily by her side. But now, there were at least five maids attached to her.
“Madame, I brought you a meal. You should eat it, at least once.”
“Put it away.”
Her face was pale as if without blood, but her voice was firm. The maids did not know what to do. She was also different from before. If they were the maids from the past, they wouldn’t be so anxious if the lady who used to be a kitchen maid starved for a day or so.
But the maids who followed her now were all new faces different from three years ago.
“Madame, I really don’t know what will happen if you don’t eat today……”
“Please, eat at least a spoonful of soup.”
The maids begged. Kathleen said stubbornly.
“Then bring me my child.”
“Madame, that child is with the Master……”
“I won’t drink a sip of water unless you bring me my child!”
She thought she was familiar with the Duke’s mansion’s structure as she had lived here for seven years. But she could not find the child no matter how much she searched for him. Her voice was furious because of her nervousness, and her heart burned.
The most seasoned-looking maid stepped up.
“Who is the Young Master? My son is not the Duchy’s Young Master.”
“M-Madame…”
Despite the raised voice, the Duchess’ denial was different from what they had heard. The handmaiden couldn’t continue her words and had a puzzled look on her face.
“It seems that life outside was hard, so you still have a fever. Why is that child not the Young Master Walten?”
Then, pushing the bedroom door open, Alexis entered. Kathleen looked at his arms reflexively, but he was not holding anything. Her nerves loosened.
“My son is sleeping well.”
She was so disgusted that she laughed. She couldn’t believe it. Even though he didn’t care to treat the child with sincerity, he was calling him that.
‘How will that man change if he finds out that he is his real son?’
Would he still call him ‘my son’?
“So let’s eat.”
Alexis said, forcefully holding the spoon. When the Duke personally attended her, all the maids quietly stepped out.
Kathleen threw the spoon away. Thin soup splashed all over the bowl, but Alexis didn’t blink.
She got up silently, put on a hat with a black ribbon that was laid on the table, and wrapped a black shawl around her shoulders.
“What’s with that outfit?”
Recognizing the reason for the hat and shawl, he asked in a low voice.
His furrowed eyebrows seemed to be holding back his anger.
She felt her own anger slowly dissipating. Kathleen smiled at him.
“My husband died, so I asked them to bring me the clothes I should be wearing.”
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