If I Can't Be Your Wife
***
***
Looking back, it started when she caught his eye.
Alexis was awarded the Duchy of Walten for his achievements on the battlefield. In Trivellian history, it was very rare for an illegitimate child of the Imperial Family to be officially crowned a high-ranking noble, but no one objected to the appointment.
Along with the Emperor’s protection, the Empress’ silence and the Crown Prince’s favor, no nobleman had the guts to express their opposition. Of course, the fact that his biological mother had already died also contributed to the smooth conferment of the title.
“These are the new maids, Master.”
His nanny, Audrey Duroc, who was said to have been his mother’s colleague, came in with several new maids.
“The Imperial Family sent new maids this time, but I think it would be better to hire new ones.”
She had been his nanny since Alexis was seven years old. Although he had never actually heard her name from his mother, she was the only one who remembered her mother, so Alexis followed her. In return, she enjoyed everything that the Duke of Walten had been given.
“Do whatever you want.”
Alexis didn’t care. After he returned from the battlefield, all he needed was rest.
“Still, the Young Master is the owner, so I brought them here for you to see them at least once. Go on, say hello.”
“Hello, Master.”
The maids greeted him at the same time. Alexis passed them with an uninterested expression and took off the cloak that he had dragged carelessly.
That was when he saw it. A girl with light blue eyes.
“I assigned them to the laundry room and kitchen since there weren’t enough hands. This will go to the kitchen, and the ones from that side to the laundry room. Don’t worry, I’ll teach them the rules of the Imperial Palace.”
“The Walten name does not have a very long history, there is no need to try too hard.”
Alexis lay on the long sofa, forcing his gaze away from the scarlet-haired blue-eyed girl assigned to the kitchen. He said to his nanny.
“You can leave. You do not need to report this in the future.”
“Yes. Then rest, Young Master.”
The nanny went out excitedly as if she had just been waiting for those words. Alexis felt strangely distracted by the back of the last girl among the maids standing in a line. But he soon forgot about it.
The twenty-one-year-old young duke was a risk. Even if the nobles tolerated him, his status as an illegitimate child was not honorable. What was worse was that the Empress had changed. She clung around the increasingly rebellious young Crown Prince, and was wary of the Duke of Walten’s power.
Fortunately, Alexis, who played a major role in the war of the Southern conquest, had considerable power and voice. Even so, when he returned to the Duke’s residence he had no choice but to be exhausted.
“I will prepare a meal soon, my lord.”
It was always Alsdorf who greeted him when he returned closer to dawn than early in the morning. Alexis had been starving for an entire day while he argued with the ministers.
For a while, after returning from the battlefield, he never touched anything in the Imperial Palace. The poison that he had ingested in the Imperial Palace during his childhood was already more than enough.
Alsdorf, well aware of this situation, always paid attention to his meals. Even today, at the pleas of his butler, Alexis was forced to sit down on a chair in the dining room while his tired shoulders were massaged. Hunger wasn’t too hard because it was something that he had always experienced on the battlefield, but since he had to go back to the Imperial Palace in a while, it was better to fill his stomach.
After some time, the door opened and Alsdorf let someone enter. Alsdorf stood by the door so a trolley could pass, and a scarlet-haired girl appeared.
At that moment, Alexis’ gaze met pale blue eyes. The girl who naturally lowered her gaze to the floor had a familiar face he had seen somewhere.
The girl who quickly set the food down bowed her head and disappeared. Alsdorf approached and served him. Alexis asked casually.
“Where did that child come from?”
“Ah, the Baroness said she had lived under a Count for a long time and knew etiquette very well.”
Swallowing food, Alexis thought. What caught his eye were the manners that were naturally ingrained in her hand movements.
But that was all. He had no intention of asking her name or taking a closer look at her face.
Until he survives and achieves his goals, holding onto the memories of his past was nothing but luxury.
For the next six years, Alexis only glanced at her occasionally when he happened to pass by her in the mansion.
Of course, those pale blue eyes never looked at him. Whenever Alexis passed by, the maid always put her hands together and fixed her gaze to the ground. She had a very polite attitude. Of course, it was impossible for a kitchen maid to dare gaze upon the Imperial Duke without his permission.
He always passed her by without saying a word.
That was the end of it.
Until that night, when he was twenty-seven years old.
***
‘Nothing works.’
Kathleen fiddled with her hands with a dismayed face. She was already accustomed to her powers and was able to manipulate ice, but ever since she returned to Duke’s residence, she strangely couldn’t use her powers.
She forgot about it when she was in the forest due to a state of panic, but after she returned to the Duke’s, she continuously attempted to escape. Unfortunately, she couldn’t even freeze a glass of water.
“Madame, is there a problem with the water? Should I get you a new one?”
Emily, who had been gently rocking the crib as she tried to put Luci to sleep, cautiously approached and asked. Kathleen frowned, putting the cup down roughly.
“Ugh, nothing. Has Luci fallen asleep?”
“Yes. He must have been really tired after crawling a lot.”
Emily looked back at Luci with a proud face.
“Even though he is only 7 months old, he is growing up really fast.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I know because I have raised a lot of younger siblings, but I have never seen them crawl around this much before. He is taller than his peers and has a good understanding of what we are saying, so I think he is really smart.”
“It seems normal to me. You’re praising him too much.”
“Ei*, it’s true. I think it’s because he resembles Master a lot.”
Emily’s unsuspecting words clouded Kathleen’s smile. Alexis completely convinced the servants that Luci was his son. They had been told that they only separated for a while due to a minor misunderstanding, but that they had a child while reconciling recently and returned after giving birth.
Except for Emily and Alsdorf, most of the servants were replaced, so it was a believable lie.
But even though Emily knew the coldness between the two, she too was fooled by Alexis. She didn’t even seem to question the way he cared for her child.
‘He’s just doing this because he thinks of him as a hostage.’
‘He doesn’t really think of him as his son.’ Kathleen thought. Emily continued her compliments with an elated voice.
“His face looks like Madame, so I hope he takes after Master’s height and voice. Then the Young Master will look very imposing! If he stands up quickly or starts talking soon, the Master will be very pleased. Oh, since he has the blood of the Imperial Family, will his eyes turn golden as he grows older? Even now, he’s already so cute, but if he has silver hair and gold eyes, his beauty will be so outstanding it will make the hearts of all the young ladies flutter.”
“Well.”
She would be leaving soon so Alexis would never see Luci start talking or grow up.
“Luci will not resemble the Duke.”
“Ei, you never know.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
Luci would have to grow a lot more in order for Joseph’s divine power to be released. If she left before then, his face resembling Alexis would not be revealed, so Emily’s wish would not come true.
And just when Kathleen answered firmly and stood up…
“There’s nothing more foolish than guaranteeing anything about the future.”
The door was open. Alexis, who was leaning against the wall, was the one who spoke. Emily got up hastily.
“Leave.”
“Yes, Master.”
Alexis glanced at the crib as Emily carefully closed the door and left. He seemed to be making sure that the child wasn’t taken.
“Do you have to keep an eye on me like this?”
She lowered her voice so as not to wake the child, but a sharp tone still came out. Unlike before, Kathleen was uncomfortable with him coming to visit her day and night.
“Are you afraid that the child will run away on his own two feet?”
“No. I’m afraid you’ll run away alone.”
“…What kind of person do you think I am?”
Kathleen said, looking straight into his eyes.
“Which mother in the world would leave her child alone with others?”
At those words, the golden eyes that seemed indifferent the whole time trembled a little. But it soon calmed again. Kathleen said with strength.
“Even if I die, I will not leave Luci alone. So please let us go.”
“I told you I won’t let you go.”
He quietly walked over to the crib and sat down. He had his back to Kathleen.
“Give it up. I don’t have any intention of letting you leave.”
“I don’t know why you’re doing this.”
Kathleen really couldn’t understand.
“You said you don’t need a successor. That even if it happens, you won’t recognize the child, so why are you announcing him as your heir, a child who is not even your blood?”
If his attitude had changed before she left, she might have been happy. If he had shown signs of wanting a child, she might have pretended not to know and closed her eyes.
“Are you angry that a commoner priest or something stole the Duke’s property? Or do you want to get revenge on the Empress in this way?”
“Which do you think it is?”
When she mentioned Joseph, Alexis looked back at her with sharp eyes. Kathleen replied calmly.
“Both.”
Alexis approached slowly.
“Think as you like. After all, I will be the father of the child.”
“Don’t do anything you can’t take responsibility for. I won’t let Luci be treated as the Duke’s tool.”
“I will take responsibility.”
Alexis said, holding Kathleen’s hand.
“For everyone, including you, as long as you stay as the Duchess of Walten.”
Did the Duchess, who had already given birth, have another value as a tool?
Kathleen quietly pulled her hand away.
“You should have said that earlier. When I was still a fool.”
“Kathleen.”
“If that was the case, I would have been moved and even shed tears.”
Kathleen looked up at him straight and spoke clearly.
“It’s chilling that you lock me up in a room like this but have the audacity to say things like that. Duke, do you think this is a battlefield?”
“…..”
“Only prisoners need shackles on their ankles. And I am not a prisoner of war.”
Chapter 36: 36
***
Looking back, it started when she caught his eye.
Alexis was awarded the Duchy of Walten for his achievements on the battlefield. In Trivellian history, it was very rare for an illegitimate child of the Imperial Family to be officially crowned a high-ranking noble, but no one objected to the appointment.
Along with the Emperor’s protection, the Empress’ silence and the Crown Prince’s favor, no nobleman had the guts to express their opposition. Of course, the fact that his biological mother had already died also contributed to the smooth conferment of the title.
“These are the new maids, Master.”
His nanny, Audrey Duroc, who was said to have been his mother’s colleague, came in with several new maids.
“The Imperial Family sent new maids this time, but I think it would be better to hire new ones.”
She had been his nanny since Alexis was seven years old. Although he had never actually heard her name from his mother, she was the only one who remembered her mother, so Alexis followed her. In return, she enjoyed everything that the Duke of Walten had been given.
“Do whatever you want.”
Alexis didn’t care. After he returned from the battlefield, all he needed was rest.
“Still, the Young Master is the owner, so I brought them here for you to see them at least once. Go on, say hello.”
“Hello, Master.”
The maids greeted him at the same time. Alexis passed them with an uninterested expression and took off the cloak that he had dragged carelessly.
That was when he saw it. A girl with light blue eyes.
“I assigned them to the laundry room and kitchen since there weren’t enough hands. This will go to the kitchen, and the ones from that side to the laundry room. Don’t worry, I’ll teach them the rules of the Imperial Palace.”
“The Walten name does not have a very long history, there is no need to try too hard.”
Alexis lay on the long sofa, forcing his gaze away from the scarlet-haired blue-eyed girl assigned to the kitchen. He said to his nanny.
“You can leave. You do not need to report this in the future.”
“Yes. Then rest, Young Master.”
The twenty-one-year-old young duke was a risk. Even if the nobles tolerated him, his status as an illegitimate child was not honorable. What was worse was that the Empress had changed. She clung around the increasingly rebellious young Crown Prince, and was wary of the Duke of Walten’s power.
Fortunately, Alexis, who played a major role in the war of the Southern conquest, had considerable power and voice. Even so, when he returned to the Duke’s residence he had no choice but to be exhausted.
“I will prepare a meal soon, my lord.”
It was always Alsdorf who greeted him when he returned closer to dawn than early in the morning. Alexis had been starving for an entire day while he argued with the ministers.
For a while, after returning from the battlefield, he never touched anything in the Imperial Palace. The poison that he had ingested in the Imperial Palace during his childhood was already more than enough.
Alsdorf, well aware of this situation, always paid attention to his meals. Even today, at the pleas of his butler, Alexis was forced to sit down on a chair in the dining room while his tired shoulders were massaged. Hunger wasn’t too hard because it was something that he had always experienced on the battlefield, but since he had to go back to the Imperial Palace in a while, it was better to fill his stomach.
After some time, the door opened and Alsdorf let someone enter. Alsdorf stood by the door so a trolley could pass, and a scarlet-haired girl appeared.
At that moment, Alexis’ gaze met pale blue eyes. The girl who naturally lowered her gaze to the floor had a familiar face he had seen somewhere.
The girl who quickly set the food down bowed her head and disappeared. Alsdorf approached and served him. Alexis asked casually.
“Where did that child come from?”
“Ah, the Baroness said she had lived under a Count for a long time and knew etiquette very well.”
Swallowing food, Alexis thought. What caught his eye were the manners that were naturally ingrained in her hand movements.
But that was all. He had no intention of asking her name or taking a closer look at her face.
Until he survives and achieves his goals, holding onto the memories of his past was nothing but luxury.
For the next six years, Alexis only glanced at her occasionally when he happened to pass by her in the mansion.
Of course, those pale blue eyes never looked at him. Whenever Alexis passed by, the maid always put her hands together and fixed her gaze to the ground. She had a very polite attitude. Of course, it was impossible for a kitchen maid to dare gaze upon the Imperial Duke without his permission.
He always passed her by without saying a word.
That was the end of it.
Until that night, when he was twenty-seven years old.
‘Nothing works.’
Kathleen fiddled with her hands with a dismayed face. She was already accustomed to her powers and was able to manipulate ice, but ever since she returned to Duke’s residence, she strangely couldn’t use her powers.
She forgot about it when she was in the forest due to a state of panic, but after she returned to the Duke’s, she continuously attempted to escape. Unfortunately, she couldn’t even freeze a glass of water.
“Madame, is there a problem with the water? Should I get you a new one?”
Emily, who had been gently rocking the crib as she tried to put Luci to sleep, cautiously approached and asked. Kathleen frowned, putting the cup down roughly.
“Ugh, nothing. Has Luci fallen asleep?”
“Yes. He must have been really tired after crawling a lot.”
Emily looked back at Luci with a proud face.
“Even though he is only 7 months old, he is growing up really fast.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I know because I have raised a lot of younger siblings, but I have never seen them crawl around this much before. He is taller than his peers and has a good understanding of what we are saying, so I think he is really smart.”
“It seems normal to me. You’re praising him too much.”
“Ei*, it’s true. I think it’s because he resembles Master a lot.”
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[T/N: She literally says ‘Ei / Ey’]Emily’s unsuspecting words clouded Kathleen’s smile. Alexis completely convinced the servants that Luci was his son. They had been told that they only separated for a while due to a minor misunderstanding, but that they had a child while reconciling recently and returned after giving birth.
Except for Emily and Alsdorf, most of the servants were replaced, so it was a believable lie.
But even though Emily knew the coldness between the two, she too was fooled by Alexis. She didn’t even seem to question the way he cared for her child.
‘He’s just doing this because he thinks of him as a hostage.’
‘He doesn’t really think of him as his son.’ Kathleen thought. Emily continued her compliments with an elated voice.
“Well.”
She would be leaving soon so Alexis would never see Luci start talking or grow up.
“Luci will not resemble the Duke.”
“Ei, you never know.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
Luci would have to grow a lot more in order for Joseph’s divine power to be released. If she left before then, his face resembling Alexis would not be revealed, so Emily’s wish would not come true.
And just when Kathleen answered firmly and stood up…
“There’s nothing more foolish than guaranteeing anything about the future.”
The door was open. Alexis, who was leaning against the wall, was the one who spoke. Emily got up hastily.
“Leave.”
“Yes, Master.”
Alexis glanced at the crib as Emily carefully closed the door and left. He seemed to be making sure that the child wasn’t taken.
“Do you have to keep an eye on me like this?”
She lowered her voice so as not to wake the child, but a sharp tone still came out. Unlike before, Kathleen was uncomfortable with him coming to visit her day and night.
“Are you afraid that the child will run away on his own two feet?”
“No. I’m afraid you’ll run away alone.”
“…What kind of person do you think I am?”
Kathleen said, looking straight into his eyes.
“Which mother in the world would leave her child alone with others?”
“Even if I die, I will not leave Luci alone. So please let us go.”
“I told you I won’t let you go.”
He quietly walked over to the crib and sat down. He had his back to Kathleen.
“Give it up. I don’t have any intention of letting you leave.”
“I don’t know why you’re doing this.”
Kathleen really couldn’t understand.
“You said you don’t need a successor. That even if it happens, you won’t recognize the child, so why are you announcing him as your heir, a child who is not even your blood?”
If his attitude had changed before she left, she might have been happy. If he had shown signs of wanting a child, she might have pretended not to know and closed her eyes.
“Are you angry that a commoner priest or something stole the Duke’s property? Or do you want to get revenge on the Empress in this way?”
“Which do you think it is?”
When she mentioned Joseph, Alexis looked back at her with sharp eyes. Kathleen replied calmly.
“Both.”
Alexis approached slowly.
“Think as you like. After all, I will be the father of the child.”
“Don’t do anything you can’t take responsibility for. I won’t let Luci be treated as the Duke’s tool.”
“I will take responsibility.”
Alexis said, holding Kathleen’s hand.
“For everyone, including you, as long as you stay as the Duchess of Walten.”
Did the Duchess, who had already given birth, have another value as a tool?
“You should have said that earlier. When I was still a fool.”
“Kathleen.”
“If that was the case, I would have been moved and even shed tears.”
Kathleen looked up at him straight and spoke clearly.
“It’s chilling that you lock me up in a room like this but have the audacity to say things like that. Duke, do you think this is a battlefield?”
“…..”
“Only prisoners need shackles on their ankles. And I am not a prisoner of war.”
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