Chapter 17: Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru Chapte

It was a nervous moment.

Evetta had finished writing my history onto a new scroll (one silver coin, paid to the Guild President). The Guild President performed the blessing with a fed-up expression.

「I’m Solcia, the small wing. Borrowing the name of the esteemed Medimu, I follow Vindoobunikuru. In the name of Thrusuovu, retain only the truth inscribed here. If it’s false, cleanse it by the grace of fire. But the shame will surely remain forever. Bless this new adventurer for the 32nd time. It's becoming more and more bothersome, so I want this to be the last time――――」

「Hey」

Complaints were getting mixed into the blessing so I responded with a retort. Rana, who had been talking to her person-in-charge, returned.

「What was that about?」

I asked out of curiosity.

「It was an invitation to join a party. I'm meeting up with them early tomorrow morning to explore the dungeon」

「That’s good」

「Eyaa」

With disgusting cuteness, the Guild President made the scroll glow with light.

He spread it, and Evetta-san, the Guild President, Rana and I stared at it.

「Ah」

It was Rana's voice, and as expected, the contents of the scroll were disappearing starting from the top again. I mean, what did it mean when even my name disappears? Am I not actually here? Is it a ghostly thing? I’m becoming depressed.

「Hey, foreigner」

The Guild President patted me on the shoulder. It had been said that he had lovely features and a beautiful smile.

「Just give up」

「Hyuaaaaa~」

A strange voice came out of my mouth. My heart felt like it was going to break. It might have chipped a little.

「Souya」

「………Evetta-san」

「………………」

Stop it! Stop looking at me like I’m a pitiful child! Oh, it cracked. Cracks were running across my heart. I want to sulk in bed for a long while. I want to eat lots of delicious food and sleep like a cat. If I secluded myself for about three days, I should rise up again somehow.

「Umm, excuse me?」

「Eh」

Rana’s voice brought me back to my senses.

「There’s a portion here that didn’t disappear」

「Really?!」

At the bottom of the scroll were character-like symbols that had not disappeared but had remained.

「Huh, this is? What does it say?! Guild President!」

「It says, elven archery, beginner」

「Yesss!」

The Japanese, shouts the name of god. *(Yesss sounds like the elven god’s name, see below for details)

「Which means that the skills that I learn from this point on will be displayed without any problems, right?!」

「Don't forget to ask your person-in-charge to update it」

The Guild President was dispassionate to the end.

「Souya」

「GUAA」

I was embraced by Evetta-san. She smelled really good. She did, but my muscles were creaking, and the bones in my entire body were making grinding noises from being squeezed. Air was being wrung out from my lungs.

「You’ve done a great job」

「No, Evetta. This guy hasn't done anything yet」

「Oh, right………」

I was released. Unleashed suddenly after being constricted, the rush of blood made my vision go dim and I almost fainted.

「Good for you, foreigner. Now, you just have to find out if your party members will accept you because of just one archery skill. Good luck」

A dazzling smile.

This guy is doing this on purpose, isn’t he?

「It has nothing to do with this, Princess. But as you can see, this foreigner is stupid, and the biggest troublemaker since the founding of the Kingdom of Lemuria’s Nationalized Adventurers’ Guild. He’s a nuisance despite not having descended a decent amount of floors. Thought it may not be necessary, I have to say this. I have no idea why you’re together with him at the moment, but nothing good will come out of associating with him」

「No, we’re the ones who are causing him trouble」

The Guild President was talking to Rana.

There was one word that I was curious about, but I wondered if anyone would answer if I asked about it now.

「By any chance. does he have something on you? In that case, let’s ask my king to send help immediately」

「No, there’s really nothing like that」

「I’ve understood that you’re in a life-threatening situation. This Solcia will do what little I canー」

Because I had gotten angry in earnest, I grabbed the Guild President’s face.

「In my country, we offer guests hospitality even if they’ve sold our wives’ kimonos. Run your mouth any more than that, and I’ll pluck out your wings, got it? Do you want me to deep-fry the wings and use the feathers to make a mattress?」

「S, Souya」

For some reason, Evetta-san was in a panic. The Guild President grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand from his face. He was expressionless. That’s the angry expression of someone who had laughed flippantly at others. What a small-minded person. Why was he working as the Guild President?

「You’re certainly ignorant, but you make sense in your own way. I’ll apologize for being rude. I'll forgive you just this once, but I’ll vaporize you next time」

「………………」

There were a lot of things that I wanted to say, but it would be stupid to rise to such cheap provocations. I responded with silence.

In that silence, a stomach growled loudly.

「Evetta, after eating that much in the morning, can’t you wait till noon?」

「It’s not me」

Rana was hanging her head, red-faced.

Yeah, it must be because she had skipped breakfast.

「Well then, we should leave, shouldn’t we? See you again, Evetta-san. Breakfast is important, isn’t it?」

「Okay. Like I said, it's not me」

I took Rana's hand, and we left the Guild behind us. It was still early for lunch, butー

「Should we randomly go into a store and grab something to eat?」

「Y, yes」

I could also go back to the camp and prepare food, but it was pitiful to make her wait so long.

Rana was walking hunched over, leaning on her staff. She was still hanging her head. A physiological phenomenon that you could do nothing about was embarrassing, wasn’t it? She looked like she had been well brought up after all. Also, I really wanted to ask about why the Guild President called her princess. However, I had been told by Izora to not get too involved.

Elf, war, defeat, princess, adventurer, let’s not think about the answer associated with those words. Besides, I definitely sympathized with her setting of being beautiful and cute, living a life of poverty, and having a sick sister. I felt the urge to lend her my strength, even thought it wasn’t much.

I mustn’t lose track of my own objectives.

Alright, I’m still thinking straight. I'm calm.

I randomly searched for a store. Still, we couldn’t get food from a street stall and eat as we walked, could we? The only place I knew that we could sit down and be served decent food was the Master’s bar. However, it would be awkward if we encountered Irvin and the rest there.

I hadn't been conscious of it, but we were still holding hands.

If Rana didn't hate it, there wasn't anything in particular for me to say.

There wasn't anything in particular, but I was holding hands with an ill-fated elf with big boobs from an alternate world. Ahh, it was in this moment that I thought that I was glad I came to this side. If my sister saw this, I would probably get dropkicked. As one of her legs would be a prosthetic, I wondered if it would end with just pain. Half of my face would get ripped off, wouldn’t it?

「Is this store okay?」

「Yes」

While walking in worry, I found a store that looked suitable. It was a small two-storied store. Without a thought, we entered the store right away. It was a motley and gloomy store. Naturally, the clientele were also gloomy. I felt their tense gazes on us.

This was a bad idea, wasn’t it?

Thinking of changing stores, I stopped my feet but Rana pulled me along by my hand, and took a seat. She was surprisingly gutsy.

I released her hand and sat down facing her.

We ordered drinks, bread and soup perfunctorily from the waitress.

Then, silence.

We waited in awkward silence.

In the dim light of Shogaku stones, I was captivated by the extent of Rana’s loveliness. She noticed my gaze and I averted my eyes. I'm really a chicken.

After I averted my eyes, my gaze fell on a minstrel in the corner of the store. He plucked a small instrument similar to a guitar, and began reciting quietly.

A subdued, quiet folklore poem.

In the olden days of yore, there was an ominous and terrifying place at the eastern extremity of the continent.

The ruined city, Misuranika. A cursed large spider, the dragon-eater Lola, had made its nest there.

For the sake of gaining fame, a thousand adventurers challenged it. No one returned.

Many heroes challenged it, were cursed, and became its children.

That nest ate into the continent, and Lola's children craved anything and everything.

The large spider’s nest even hung from the Odoriji spire.

However, a hero stood in its way.

There was a hunter in the elven forest. A great hunter that the fog obeyed.

A thick fog enveloped the large spider.

In that world of white, a thousand arrows killed Lola’s children, and a hundred arrows pierced Lola's eye.

When the fog cleared, only the spider's body was there.

The name of the hero was Heures.

Great hunter. Nameless caster.

If Lola ever reappeared, he would return with the fog.

When the poem ended, the food came.

Soup with vegetable scraps floating in it, bread that looked hard, and fruit wine. But, for two people.

I ate my share so that Rana wouldn’t hold back. The soup tasted as thin as it looked, and the bread was as hard as it looked. My jaw was getting tired. I didn’t know anything about alcohol to begin with.

Rana was bringing shredded pieces of bread to her small mouth.

「Sorry, it's not very delicious, is it?」

「Huh?」

Rana stopped her spoon in surprise.

「Certainly, the fish soup you made yesterday was extremely delicious. Were you perhaps a chef in the foreign land?」

「No, I wasn’t」

My cooking skills were below those of hobbyists.

「Then, I suppose it's a land where food is delicious. I'm jealous」

「Yeah, the meals are delicious. Speaking of which, what kinds of ingredients are used in elven cuisine?」

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「Elven cuisine, is it?………………」

She laughed wryly.

「Basically, fruits, berries, or wild herbs eaten as is. I do think that some of the fermented food and liquor are delicious, but I suppose that there aren’t many dishes that I can recommend confidently to others」

「I see」

It was an organic sort of cuisine, huh? It sounded like it would be good for the body. Leaving aside the taste.

「Your sister rather likes spicy or salty food, but is that a reaction to elven cuisine?」

「My sister’s hunting teacher was a beastkin, so she got influenced so strongly that she might not be very elf-like at all. Her eating habits too」

I agreed.

「What does Rana like to eat?」

「Huh………………me?」

After a spoonful of soup, Rana become lost in thought. It was such a difficult question, huh?

Somehow, my eyes met with the minstrel’s. Rather than saying our eyes met, he was staring at me. I’m not interested in men! He cleared his throat once. This was difficult. I tried my best to take the hint, but I couldn’t think of an answer. I’ll ignore him.

「I don’t hate fish. Alcohol too, no, perhaps not so much. I’ve never been drunk after all. As for vegetables, I’m sick of vegetables. Then, is it meat?」

「I don’t know」

「I’m sorry」

The conversation ended up unresolved. I wondered if she had little preference for food?

「For the time being, after we return to the camp, I’ll serve food as usual. If there is something that you like, let me know」

「………………Okay」

Let's make lunch lighter and then have a lavish dinner. It would be great if Ea’s condition got better by then.

「Umm, about Eaー」

I couldn’t help being concerned about it, so I ended up asking her.

「Is there any hope of a cure?」

Even if it was impossible with our technology, the magic from this side might have a way of curing Ea.

Rana's expression was indescribable.

I didn’t ask any more than that.

The door opened and light streamed into the store. A party of adventurers came in.

The minstrel recited the same poem once more. The poem about the hero, Heures. Hmm? Heures?

「Rana, your name is Heures, right?」

「Yes」

I understood now.

The poem that extolled Heures was recited one more time.

When the poem ended, I met eyes with the minstrel and threw him a copper coin. He smiled broadly but didn't catch it. A tanned cat beastkin snatched up that copper coin.

At the same time, our table was kicked over. The food that we were eating and the tableware were scattered all over the wall and floor.

「Should I tell you the continuation of that poem? The descendants of the hero Heures foolishly started a war with humans, then lost miserably. The elven princess was even more foolish. When she thought that they couldn't win the war, despite the fact that her own people would be caught up in it, she burned down half the forest」

It was a young man. He had distorted his face, which was distorted with chestnut brown hair. He wore expensive-looking armor with a mantle, and a sword with useless ornamentations. Behind him was a female knight in full-plate with a skirt, and a nubile magician wearing what looked like a noblewomen’s dress.

「So, what’s that princess doing in a dreary bar like this?」

Said the young man, with a vulgar expression.

Rather than that,

「Don't waste food!」

I’ll kill this guy.

Sure, it wasn't that delicious, but that didn’t mean that it was fine to send it flying. I was just about to go beat him up when the female knight cut me off. I couldn’t see her face because of her helmet, but from the air about her, she was probably a beauty. The fact that she was the guard for a person like that added to my anger.

「Aaah? Who the heck are you?」

「Who do you think YOU are, kicking other people’s food?」

The upstart young man snorted with laughter.

「Are you an idiot? Even though you’re in this kingdom, you don’t know my face?」

「I don't know it. If you’re so famous, write your name on your face or something」

A beastkin in the back burst out in laughter. Perhaps he was angry at that, but veins were popping out on the young man’s forehead.

「I’m Georg Oru Lemuria, the prince of the Kingdom of Lemuria」

「And?」

What about it?

This kind of person probably thought that everything could be settled using his authority as a prince. There was no reason to forgive his rudeness or foolishness because of something like that. In particular, I would definitely never bow and scrape to a dingus like him who wasted food. As if I would feel even a speck of fear! I continued to run my mouth.

「On top of having no class, does the prince of this country have nothing to do except get in the way of my meal with a beautiful woman? You’re so free, aren’t you? I'm so jealous」

「You…..」

The idiot prince put his hand on his sword. I also put my hand on my hunting knife at my waist.

「Souya, get out! I’ll settle this matter」

「No. Leave it to me」

She grabbed my hand that was holding the hunting knife.

「Please get out of here. This is a matter between royalty. It's not something that a mere adventurer like you should be sticking your nose into」

With trembling lips, she spoke forcefully.

I hesitated for a moment.

I had not agonized so much over a decision since coming to this world.

「I’ll wait outside」

I did as Rana said. I threw a silver coin at the minstrel. The minstrel hung his head and lowered his eyes as he took it. I went outside and the light blinded my eyes.

『Do you want to see the image of what’s happening inside?』

I received a communication from Makina.

「What am I supposed to do with that?」

『I'll leave that to you. Souya-san, Makina has only one piece of advice for you. Only you and you alone can set limits on what you do in this world』

She was absolutely right.

「Show me the image」

The image from the bug drone inside the store was shown on the display of the glasses. The audio was also picked up without any problems.

The idiot prince was sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.

Rana was kneeling in front of the idiot prince.

「Please forgive my companion's rudeness. Georg Oru Lemuria-sama, 2nd Prince of the Kingdom of Lemuria」

「Because you elves killed my brother, I'm the only Prince of Lemuria now. Don't get it wrong, impure princess」

「Yes, I'm very sorry. Prince」

The idiot prince looked at the tip of his shoe. It was wet. The soup had probably gotten on it when he kicked the table over.

「Look, my shoe got dirty because of you. Wipe it」

「Yes」

Lana took out a piece of cloth.

「No, that’s wrong」

「Huh?」

Lana was at a loss at the idiot prince’s words.

「Use your mouth. A foolish elf doesn’t need hands, right?」

「Yes」

Rana went down on her hands and knees like a dog, and stretched out her tongue.

It was in extremely bad taste. However, the other people were looking on with lustful eyes. Watching a noble and beautiful person get sullied was the highest form of entertainment indeed.

「Makina, self-destruct the drone in the store」

『Understood』

Confirming the high-pitched sound of the drone's explosion from outside the store, I kicked the door open and ran in.

Everyone's attention was focused in the direction of the explosion.

Of course, the idiot prince and the knight guarding him too.

The dropkick, which was taught directly by my sister, caught the prince in his face. He half-turned and crashed into the wall.

「Secret Art, Yukikaze Special」

The trick was to twist your body at the moment of impact. Setting aside its power, it looked cool. My sister’s guts pose floated in the sky of my imagination. Actually, she would probably have let the dropkick fly the moment the table was kicked over.

「Souya!」

A voice similar to Rana's screamed. Let’s ignore that.

「Do you know what you've done?」

The female knight pointed the glistening tip of her sword at me, who had failed my landing. I stood up slowly while keeping my eyes on it.

「What I’ve done? I picked a fight」

Leaning on the shoulder of a beastkin, the prince stood up.

「Lanseal, kill that guy」

The knight did not obey his orders. It's good that she's a reasonable person who could take a hint.

「Hey! Lanseal! Did you not hear me?!」

「But, young master……」

I put the bow I was carrying and the hunting knife on a nearby table. I took off my glasses and handed them to Rana.

「It's a fight. Between adventurers. Or are you saying that the Lemurian royal family can’t even fight without the protection of your authority and women, huh? Have you no balls?」

「What did you say?!」

The prince drew his sword.

「Young master! Please stop! It’s fine to harass the long ears. It’s their just deserts. No one will sympathize with them. But he’s an adventurer. It’s unscrupulous for the child of the king of adventurers to point his sword against an adventurer. You’ll sully the king's name. Besides…… He’s hoping for a bare-handed fight. Is young master’s valor so cheap that you’ll brush that aside?」

Isn’t Rana also an adventurer? But I decided not to voice that retort.

「So, what are you going to do? Your companion is saying that though?」

「Haaa, alright, fine. Against a small fry, bare hands will suffice」

The prince sheathed his sword. He had risen to the bait. You idiot. I’ll give you a taste of the Systema that I learnt in Russia. I’m the one who's thinking that bare hands will suffice――――――

This one is kinda silly, but Souya says “Yes” in English, but using Japanese pronunciation so the “s” sounds like “su” and he dragged the end of it out so another “tsu” is added at the end, which results in that “Yesss” sounding like “Ye-su-tsu” which sounds a lot like Ezusu, the name of the elf god…. And yes, this line is also a play on the title of the novel.

For those who aren’t martial arts fans, Systema is supposedly a Russian mixed-martial art that included grappling, locks and groundwork, and has been touted as one of the strongest mixed-martial arts. Why supposedly, you ask? It’s because a lot of it was hyped by various media, and Systema doesn’t actually exist as a single school of martial arts like Karate or Muay Thai, etc, but is actually many different schools teaching their own unique “systems”.

And for poetry lovers, I profusely apologize but I’m totally ignoring whatever meter or rules the original poem had, and translating as is because I couldn’t tell you a single thing about poetry to save my life.

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